Remember when I said that after I finished that short story for class, I would jump right back into the exploits of my mafia-hunting serial killer the Snake? Well, it took me a day or so to get around to the first chapter (I had classes and homework, I wanted a chance to sit down and read a couple graphic novels, and then there was that errand downtown I had to run today, but why am I boring you with that?). I took a look at the opening I’d written and I was like, “You know, this sounded so cool when I first wrote it, but now it just seems kind of…extaneous and unnecessary.” So I cut out and rewrote the opening…and a bunch of other stuff. It was like I was taking the gristle off a slab of meat.
No, wait. It was like I was taking the fat out of fresh milk. Not as elegant a metaphor, but it’s a bit more original, and I give you all permission to use it after I’ve just used it.
So now on to the rest of the chapters, all thirty-three of them. I plan on doing some more backstory on some of the more major characters, plus making the Snake much more empaphetic, because honestly, when we finally meet him face-to-face (sort of; he wears a mask) in chapters three and four, he’s more sinister and scary, and not at all the kind of guy you want to root for. I also want to include the media’s portrayal of the Snake, make him like some sort of symbol for what the police could be doing with a nearly untouchable organized crime family, because if there’s one thing that can rile law enforcement up, it’s when journalists poke at police work (no offense meant for journalists who actually cover police stories and criticize them for whatever they may or may not have done).
All this in addition to the usual stuff that comes with editing. After that I’ll get into the outline and see what I can fix up. Maybe I’ll include some brushes with death and a new ending where the Snake not only faces off with the mafia family he’s sworn to destroy, but with the police officer and FBI profiler who’ve sworn to bring him in. There will be blood, betrayal, some literally deadly fights, love, character growth, and possibly an explosion or two.
I’ll also add in chapters where we see the underworld social order changing, because when you have a serial killer who’s killing your group’s members and getting away with it, you know others, both mafia and possibly otherwise, will try it too.
We’ll see what we get, but from the description I’ve just given, and the outline I’ve already written, it’s looking like a whole new novel. Hopefully it’ll be a better one too.
Rami Ungar The Writer 