Last night, my roommate and I went out on a pub crawl, trying various bars in the campus and Short North area. At some point we were joined by a friend of mine and his friend from Israel. It was a fun time and I enjoyed it very much, especially in the gay bars (for those of you who haven’t known me for that long, I came out in bisexual back in March of this year). I made some great memories with people I care about, I learned where you can get some interesting mixes and cocktails, and I even met one of Columbus’s drag icons (yes, we have drag icons. Not surprising, considering that Columbus is one of the LGBT capitals of the Midwest. Yes, Columbus is one of them).

However, there was one aspect of last night that I did not enjoy: around the time I was done at the Union bar (great fun, by the way), I started to feel very strange. I’d had a few drinks, and I guess I’d had more than I’ve previously had (even at that Jewish wedding not too long ago, if you can believe that), because I was feeling much more inebriated than I’d ever felt before. And despite how happy I was, I was kind of scared. I felt like the connections between the rational part of my brain and my body were being disconnected, because I had less control over my body. I also noticed that a few connections were being loosened between my rationality and whatever part of my brain makes decisions, because I was acting a little wilder than usual.

Luckily I didn’t do anything I’d end up regretting later on (so calm down, Ima and Abba). I do that often enough while sober. But at some point, I said to my friends that I’d had enough and that I wasn’t going to drink anymore. I got encouraged to have a few more drinks, but I held my ground and stopped drinking. Even at the next bar we visited, a famous dance club across from the Ohio Union, all I had was water (I was thirsty anyway, so it was good of me to get hydrated). And some of my friends thought I should’ve continued testing my limits or that I was trying to put a stop on my own 21st Birthday Pub Crawl, but I thought–or as much as I could think, anyway–and I still do think I made the right decision. I like being in a good mood, and last night I was in a very good mood, partly because of the alcohol I was drinking.

But I don’t like the feeling of my body and mind being so out of control. It’s a scary feeling, like watching yourself through your own eyes and not having any input over what’s happening. And it’s not something I’m willing to repeat any time soon. So for the time being I’m going to stay away from drinking (along with sweets and a few other things that aren’t necessarily good for me), even though my fridge is stocked with some really good drinks at the moment. I have a feeling that after last night, and with Columbus Pride Weekend and a wedding coming up soon, I would be better off holding off until the next weekend. And even then, I’ll probably drink sparingly.

Perhaps another time I’ll test my limits with alcohol. For now though, I think it’s best I stay at the limits I tested last night. Because not only do I not want to make a mistake that will haunt me while trying to have a good time, but I just don’t want to feel that out of control again. In fact, I don’t know why anyone would.

That’s all for now. I’m going to get some work done, and then do some reading before meeting my dad, my grandfather, and my sisters for a Father’s Day dinner. Happy Father’s Day, my Followers of Fear.

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Comments
  1. Angela Misri says:

    We’ve all been there Rami, and not to sound condescending (because I don’t mean to!) but you’ll hit a stage where you know exactly where your limits are and can enjoy yourself and relax about your consumption. For me, its one glass of red wine or two glasses of white, or one glass of champagne or two cocktails.

  2. Oh yeah, we’ve all been there. I’ve been there a few times, some of which are photodocumented… But it sounds like you made the right decision and it also was very responsible of you. Your friends, well, they sound like typical college friends. Some people just love to find that line and throw up on it!

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