Posts Tagged ‘Snake’

Snake: Onto The Outline Edits

Posted: October 2, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
Tags: , , , , ,
2

I love this image, it is so unique and reminds me of an Algerian love knot.

Well as you know, I’ve been wanting to do some change-ups to my serial killer novel Snake, including changing a big part of the outline. So I went over what I’d already written, edited the heck out of the chapters to make them a better read, and just now I finished chapter 34, which is the last chapter of Part II of the novel. I did plenty of cutting, taking out an entire chunk of the opening of the novel (among other things), adding some important details and bits of action that I forgot to add to certain scenes, and even changing one of the characters and his motivations in order to make more sense not only to the reader, but to myself as well.

The strange thing though, is that while I took out a lot of unecessary stuff so that some chapters got much shorter in terms of pages and word counts, others got much longer. Remember how in one post I listed all the pages and words from the Prologue all the way to the end of Part II as 138 pages and 25,346 words? After the edits, it came out to 148 pages and 37,082 words. Talk about an increase, right?

So while I’ve done that, I still have some more to do. I’m going to edit the outline to make the story more exciting, and then I’m going to get to work getting my other novel, Reborn City, out to the public in a timely manner. So you know with all this, a job, and college, I’m a very busy boy. But hey, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Look out for my next post on Snake, I’ll be giving a few clues as to what’s changed with the story and then I’ll get to work on Reborn City. Later.

Getting Back Into Snake

Posted: September 24, 2012 in ideas, Novel, Progress Report, Writing
Tags: , , , , ,
0

Remember when I said that after I finished that short story for class, I would jump right back into the exploits of my mafia-hunting serial killer the Snake? Well, it took me a day or so to get around to the first chapter (I had classes and homework, I wanted a chance to sit down and read a couple graphic novels, and then there was that errand downtown I had to run today, but why am I boring you with that?). I took a look at the opening I’d written and I was like, “You know, this sounded so cool when I first wrote it, but now it just seems kind of…extaneous and unnecessary.” So I cut out and rewrote the opening…and a bunch of other stuff. It was like I was taking the gristle off a slab of meat.

No, wait. It was like I was taking the fat out of fresh milk. Not as elegant a metaphor, but it’s a bit more original, and I give you all permission to use it after I’ve just used it.

So now on to the rest of the chapters, all thirty-three of them. I plan on doing some more backstory on some of the more major characters, plus making the Snake much more empaphetic, because honestly, when we finally meet him face-to-face (sort of; he wears a mask) in chapters three and four, he’s more sinister and scary, and not at all the kind of guy you want to root for. I also want to include the media’s portrayal of the Snake, make him like some sort of symbol for what the police could be doing with a nearly untouchable organized crime family, because if there’s one thing that can rile law enforcement up, it’s when journalists poke at police work (no offense meant for journalists who actually cover police stories and criticize them for whatever they may or may not have done).

All this in addition to the usual stuff that comes with editing. After that I’ll get into the outline and see what I can fix up. Maybe I’ll include some brushes with death and a new ending where the Snake not only faces off with the mafia family he’s sworn to destroy, but with the police officer and FBI profiler who’ve sworn to bring him in. There will be blood, betrayal, some literally deadly fights, love, character growth, and possibly an explosion or two.

I’ll also add in chapters where we see the underworld social order changing, because when you have a serial killer who’s killing your group’s members and getting away with it, you know others, both mafia and possibly otherwise, will try it too.

We’ll see what we get, but from the description I’ve just given, and the outline I’ve already written, it’s looking like a whole new novel. Hopefully it’ll be a better one too.

Snake: Part II Done

Posted: September 17, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
Tags: , , ,
2

Creepy Mayan snake god gobbling someone up. I have a feeling my character would find some connection to this image.

Well, I finally did it! I finished Part II of Snake, though truthfully it’s coming about four days later than I expected.

Part II deals a lot not only with the main character’s quest for revenge, but also with the circumstances that caused him to take up serial killing. It totaled about twenty-one chapters, eighty-six pages, and twenty-two thousand and thirty-three words. Add that to the prologue and Part I, and you have a total of thirty-four chapters, one-hundred and thirty-eight pages, and twenty-five thousand, three-hundred forty-six words for the rough draft of Snake. Several times chapters were added together and split in two in order to keep the story flowing and the tension high. I have to say, at certain points it was an arduous process writing out this section of the novel.

Now that I’ve got Part II done, I’m going to wait a little while before I start Part III, which is probably the longest of the parts in Snake, take some time to finish a short story and edit a couple more. I also plan on going over the outline of Snake and see what I can do to make the plot more exciting, because as it is it’s a good story, but I want to make it great. I plan on doing some more character development with the Snake and some of the people close to him, which will probably mean going back to previous chapters and doing a few additions. I also plan to add some scenes showing the fallout of what happens when a serial killer goes after a mafia family and not only evades the family but the police itself. And lastly, I want to change the climax, see if I can change the setting so that not only does the Snake face off against the mafia, he faces off with the police too, and does it in front of everyone.

Sounds more exciting that way, anyway.

I’ll let you know when I begin Part III. Wish me luck.

Translating “Snake” Into Russian

Posted: September 13, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
Tags: , ,
0

Chinese symbol for “snake” surrounded by a snake. Pretty cool, huh?

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve written about the Snake. Like, several weeks, at least.

Oh, for thsoe of you who don’t know, I’m working on two novels. One, a science fiction novel titled Reborn City, I’m trying to market to publishers write now. The other, a serial killer thriller called Snake, is in the middle of its first draft. Currently I’m working on chapter thirty-three of Snake, which isn’t very far in considering thrillers are notorious for having many chapters with less than ten pages per chapter.

One of the things I’m doing for Snake is that I’m also working on some Russian transliteration, as my main character speaks Russian throughout the novel. I’m working with one of my university’s Russian professors on this (and if he’s reading this, thank you so very much for your help), and he’s been a big help. It’s not always easy, though: according to my professor, getting phrases and words I’d normally use in English translated and then transliterated into Russian can be difficult, as I not only have to get across the meaning, but the intention as well. It’s like getting down on one knee and saying “I love you, will you marry me?” to a foreign girl in her native language, but you actually end up saying “love marry you” or “marriage me you” instead. The effect’s just lost.

Still, I think a pretty good job’s been done, and every bit of Russian up to chapter thirty-two has been transliterated. Hopefully when I see my professor again, I’ll have some easier phrases to translate. We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we? I know where I want to go with this story, but how I’m getting there and what happens in the meantime is still up in the air in some ways.

All for now. Talk to you later.

Developing Backstory

Posted: August 22, 2012 in Progress Report, Reflections, Writing
Tags: , , , ,
0

Every character we meet in a story has a backstory, even if it’s not always elaborated on at first. Voldemort has a history, though we don’t get the full grasp of it until around the sixth book or so of Harry Potter. Han Solo had an entire career and a few debts to Jabba the Hutt before he and Chewbacca met Luke and Obi-Wan, though we only find out about it in the Expanded Universe. And before Alex Cross battled his first psychopath, he had lived in Virginia, grown up in DC, and gone to college to study psychology and psychiatry. Heck, James Bond probably has a full history, though I’m not sure if Ian Fleming ever went into great detail about it.

This evening I wrapped up a major part of the Snake’s history, and how he went from a regular–okay, not-so-much regular, but still relatively regular compared to what he became–teen into a serial killer who hunts members of a certain powerful mafia family. It was probably the longest chapter yet in Snake (which is saying something, seeing as thrillers have very short chapters), and I had a lot of fun writing it and exploring the Snake’s disturbed psyche. I’ll probably go over it again before I move onto the next chapter, but it’s still a chapter that’s very important to the story and a chapter that, if all my dreams ever come true, will be reviewed by future generations as a memorable scene in the development of the Snake.

Now that I think about it, the Snake’s modus operandi was the first thing that I created for the Snake and his backstory, including why he’s kiling (which is the major driving force of the plot, if truth be told), came afterwards. At first he was nothing more than the archetypal bloodthirsty killer, but when I gave him backstory he seemed almost like a character that, while most people would condemn his actions if he were a real person, would identify with him on an emotional level. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed writing his character so much, and why I think as people read more and more about the Snake and the mystery of his is peeled away, they may come to enjoy the character more.

That’s the hope anyway.

For my fellow writers out there, how do you develop character backstory? Do you create the character first and then create a history to match? Do you think the backstory influences the character, or the character decides the backstory? And what sort of backstories do you like to create? Let me know if you don’t mind sharing.

Snake Ch. 21

Posted: August 16, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
Tags: , , ,
0

Oroboros, or the snake that eats its own tail, a symbol for immortality. Has no bearing on this story, but it’s still darn cool. And look, it spins!

You know how you’re not supposed to hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers because you might encounter a crazy person or a dangerous runaway convict doing so? You also know how in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre they had a scene that illustrated very well why you shouldn’t pick up hitchhikers or hitchhike yourself?

I like to comapre this chapter to everything in the previous paragraph, except instead of hitchhikers it’s pulling over to help a motorist in distress. Roman Veretti, the latest member of the Camerlengo Mafia group to become the object of the Snake’s desire to kill, is on the road when he sees a guy on the side of the road. What happens next may make you consider never helping a motorist ever again (and if you knew what happened to the guy, you wouldn’t want to help any motorist even if it was your twin brother!).

Oh, I’m also considering adding a few scenes where the Camerlengo family has to deal with the instability caused by the Snake’s murders: other families are taking territory and killing members of the Camerlengos. But I guess that’s the fallout when a serial killer shows just how easily a formerly-invincible family becomes not-so-invincible. The only problem though is placement: where best do these chapters go if I add them? Probably after Roman Veretti meets his fate; that’s when the Snake shows just how hard he is to stop.

Well, I’ve rambled on long enough. Here’s Chapter 21 as promised; enjoy and please do not hesitate to tell me what you think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman Veretti was whistling as he turned off the main road and onto the scenic route to Connecticut. The sun was shining, the view was beautiful, the minivan was warm and toasty, the XM radio was playing some of Roman’s favorite jazz and big band songs, “A Gal in Kalamazoo” and “What a Wonderful World”, among others, and there were no other cars on this secret route Roman loved so much.

Best of all, taking the scenic route meant another hour until Roman got to Connecticut, a place Roman wouldn’t have even considered visiting if his wife hadn’t insisted they go and visit her parents that weekend. It wasn’t as if they were bad people—Roman thought that Lizzy’s father was a hilarious storyteller and philosopher—but the house smelled heavily of cleaning products, and Lizzy’s mother always found some way or another to suggest that Roman was a poor choice of husband for her daughter and that Lizzy could do better without actually coming out and saying it. In truth, Roman preferred making sure the prostitutes under his watch made enough money for him rather than spending an entire weekend smelling dish soap and hearing criticisms about his paycheck.

 Just wait till I get off pimp duty and get into a real position in the family. Roman thought, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel as he listened to the music. Mr. Camerlengo’s getting to be real fond of me, and I’m sure that once this whole serial killer thing blows over, I’ll be able to get a job with money enough to shut up that old bat.

Up ahead on the road Roman noticed a car pulled over, its hood up and the lights blinking. The driver was waving his arms in the air, trying to signal Roman as he approached. For a moment Roman considered driving on, but the possibility a few more minutes away from Lizzy’s mother excited him enough that he turned on his turn signal and pulled over to the side of the road next to the car. The driver of the car ran up to Roman as Roman turned off the engine and stepped out of the minivan.

“You saved me!” said the driver, a young man who looked unremarkable save for a pair of brilliant blue eyes. “I can’t tell what’s up with my car and my cell has no signal. Do you think you can help me?”

“Let me see the car.” said Roman. “My dad was a mechanic, so I used to help him out all the time.”

“Well, isn’t that a stroke of luck!” said the driver. “She’s right over there. I figured that son of a bitch was conning me when he sold me this piece of crap.”

“We’ll see about that.” said Roman, sidling on over to the open hood. Peeking in, he examined the engine. To Roman’s confusion, the engine looked brand-new, and nothing he could see indicated any maintenance issues or repair needs.

“I don’t see any problems with the engine.” said Roman, ducking his head out from under the hood. “What’d you say was wrong with it—?”

WHAM!

There was a bright flash of light and Roman felt a sharp pain in the side of his head. He staggered, his hand pressed to his temple, before he staggered and fell over. The last thing he saw was the driver putting on a strange-looking mask before Roman closed his eyes and the world fell away.

Snake Ch. 20

Posted: August 15, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
Tags: , , ,
0

Well, I finished chapter twenty of Snake, and let me tell you, it was different writing this chapter than previous chapters. For one thing, I had started writing the chapter with a scene of Angela Murtz, my forensic psychologist/federal investigator (you might remember her from a previous post in which she was included in an exerpt) interviews the mistress of the latest victim, Thomas Luiso.

I had this whole interview set up, created how Murtz gained the woman’s trust, and even had an emotional revelation that Mr. Luiso wasn’t all his mistress thought he was. But as I was writing that, I thought to myself, Hey wait a minute, what exactly does this add to the story? I can some up all this information that’s needed in a few words, and can have another character fill Murtz in. So I went back and deleted the whole interview and instead skipped ahead to where Murtz goes upstairs with her partner, Blake Harnist, to check out Luiso’s body. If you ask me, I made the right decision; the chapter looks better without the interview with Murtz and Luiso’s mistress.

I also realized that in the chapters featuring Murtz and Harnist, four in total, three have been from Murtz’s POV, while only 1 has been from Harnist’s POV. I think I’ll change that for the next chapter featuring the duo and have the reader see things from Harnist’s POV. It only seems fair, since the characters are partners and work together to stop the Snake.

Now, I wasn’t able to do a Lucky 7 meme, because page 77 of the story only has 5 lines on it. However, I’m pretty sure the next chapter, which has the Snake himself in it, doesn’t reveal too much about the character, so I’ll include as much of that as I can. Hope you like that.

See you next post.

On With The Snake

Posted: August 14, 2012 in Scary Stuff, Writing
Tags: , ,
6

Well, I’ve finally heard back from the forensic psychologist who’s been helping me with the profile for the Snake. You know what that means? It means I can continue on with writing Snake, and maybe even finish the darn thing by the end of the year!

Snake is a fun story to write, and the Snake himself is a piece of work, a really fun character to work with. Mentally diseased he is, but he certainly can win sympathy from an audience once they know what he’s doing and why he’s doing it. I’m not saying what he’s doing is good, though. Far from it, actually. Vigilante justice is a horrible kind of justice, but since this is fiction right and wrong can be blurred somewhat and even switched around for the enjoyment of the reader, so who cares?

Anyway, I’m pretty sure this upcoming chapter will have the seventy-seventh Microsoft Word page of Snake, meaning I can do a Lucky 7 excerpt. If so, I hope you enjoy reading it and maybe get a little chill. As my new tagline only makes it so clear, it’s my job to scare you.

Snake Excerpt: The Snake In Action

Posted: July 22, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
Tags: , ,
0

Yeah, the Snake can be pretty vicious. Just like the basilisk, except without the whole eye thing. Still, very scary, isn’t it.

Ladies and gentlebloggers, I finally wrote a section of my novel-in-progress Snake with the Snake in it that I can post online without giving away too much of the character away. It only took sixteen chapters, but I finally wrote it. And I got to say, it came pretty easy to me; I didn’t have any writer’s block while working on it.

For a little context, here’s what’s going on right now: the Snake has followed his next target, loan shark Thomas Luiso, to the home of Luiso’s mistress. The Snake sneaks in and catches them in the middle of some fun (if you get my meaning). Luiso’s mistress faints from the shock, while Snake fights Luiso, who hasn’t realized he is dealing with the man who brutally murdered two other members of Luiso’s group.

Hope you like what you read, but just warning you, things are going to get violent. Also, I want to clarify something I said in the last post dedicated to the Snake: I said Part II was the longest part in Snake. Actually it’s Part III. Sorry about that.

______________________________________________________________________________________

The Snake strode over to Luiso, who was just getting off the bed. Luiso looked at him and cursed in Italian. “You son of a bitch.” he growled. The Snake ignored him, reaching for Luiso’s neck.

Just then Luiso spun, kicking the Snake in the knee. The Snake stumbled backward, hitting his head against the wall. Luiso ran at him, swinging his fist. The Snake dodged, moving his head to the right to avoid Luiso’s fist, which went into the wall with a sickening crunch. Luiso pulled on his hand, but it looked stuck in the wall.

The Snake smiled from beneath his mask and grabbed Luiso’s meaty left nipple, giving it a hard twist. Luiso screamed in pain, grabbing the Snake’s arm weakly with the hand not stuck in the wall.

Letting go of the nipple, the Snake pulled back his fists and punched Luiso in the gut and face. Luiso groaned with each impact, looking more and more on the verge of fainting every time the Snake hit him. The Snake kept up the barrage, his excitement building. How much longer can you go? he thought. How much more can you struggle before I make you go through more pain?

Suddenly Luiso swung a fist at the side of the Snake’s head, hitting him right in the ear; the Snake fell over, holding his ear as if it were about to fall off. With a loud crunch, Luiso freed his other hand from the wall and turned to the Snake. “You are so morto, freak.” said Luiso. “Teach you to mess with me!”

The Snake saw Luiso take a step towards him and thought of an idea; as Luiso took another step forward, the Snake jumped and tackled Luiso’s large belly, sending the large man backwards and over. Luiso fell onto the ground with a loud thump, shaking the room as he hit the carpet. The Snake crawled onto Luiso’s chest, straightened himself up, and began punching Luiso’s face. Blood went flying as the Snake broke Luiso’s nose and knocked out a few teeth.

It was a while before the Snake realized that Luiso was knocked out. Standing up off the man’s expansive belly, the Snake looked at Luiso and wondered if he should steal a car and take him somewhere where they wouldn’t be disturbed or—

Then the Snake noticed there was a bathroom in the bedroom, one with a large bathtub and several fluffy white towels. An idea came to the Snake’s head, something he’d always wanted to try, and here was the perfect opportunity for it.

The Snake grabbed his gun from the vanity table and, hooking his arms underneath Luiso’s armpits, dragged Luiso into the bathroom.

___________________________________________________________________________________

What happens in the bathroom that the Snake has been wanting to try? I’m not saying, except it will make you squirm. Hope you like what you read. If I can, I’ll post more excerpts. Until then, thanks for reading and have a nice day.

The Snake: Part I Done

Posted: July 19, 2012 in Novel, Writing
Tags: , ,
2

Is it just me, or does this image totally rock?

I’m finished with Part I of Snake, and to tell you the truth, I’m having a blast writing it. I write a chapter, go over it after at least a half-hour break, take a shorter break, and then I work on a new chapter. I’m getting one or two of them done in a day. Not to mention that I’m able to incorporate so many things I love into the writing process: I’ve mentioned that I meditate, and when I write just after meditating, the words seem to flow more easily onto the screen of my computer (and I thought I couldn’t make these words flow any more easily!). Plus I’ve also been watching a ton of Law & Order: SVU reruns, which is due to the fact that both Snake and SVU deal with thugs who take something sacred and beautiful like sex and turn it into a profane nightmare. With Snake, it’s my antagonist mafia family, with SVU it’s…you know what, I think we all know the answer to that one.

You know, I was planning on naming Part I “Getting to Know A Killer”, but now I think that’s not accurate. I mean, the names for the other parts are so far on the mark, but Part I, I just don’t see it anymore. Really, we get a little bit inside Snake’s mind, but not enough to know what his motivation is or how he came to be a killer. Sure, we see a little of his home life, but that’s not enough to get a sense of his character. So I’ll have to think of a new name for Part I.

As for Part II, “Hunting in the Concrete Jungle”, its full speed ahead tomorrow morning. Part II’s by far the longest of the sections, but it’s one I’m looking forward to. Wish me luck.

Oh, by the way, I’m still looking for the perfect excerpt where we actually interact with the Snake. So far every time I’ve written from his point-of-view, I haven’t been able to use the chapter because it reveals a detail I want to keep hidden from the public at this time. But I promise, as soon as I have a part I can post without revealing anything too important, I’ll post it. You’ll know when that excerpt appears: the picture at the top of the post will be of the basilisk from Harry Potter!

Older Entries
Newer Entries