Archive for the ‘Novel’ Category

Snake Ch. 21

Posted: August 16, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
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Oroboros, or the snake that eats its own tail, a symbol for immortality. Has no bearing on this story, but it’s still darn cool. And look, it spins!

You know how you’re not supposed to hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers because you might encounter a crazy person or a dangerous runaway convict doing so? You also know how in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre they had a scene that illustrated very well why you shouldn’t pick up hitchhikers or hitchhike yourself?

I like to comapre this chapter to everything in the previous paragraph, except instead of hitchhikers it’s pulling over to help a motorist in distress. Roman Veretti, the latest member of the Camerlengo Mafia group to become the object of the Snake’s desire to kill, is on the road when he sees a guy on the side of the road. What happens next may make you consider never helping a motorist ever again (and if you knew what happened to the guy, you wouldn’t want to help any motorist even if it was your twin brother!).

Oh, I’m also considering adding a few scenes where the Camerlengo family has to deal with the instability caused by the Snake’s murders: other families are taking territory and killing members of the Camerlengos. But I guess that’s the fallout when a serial killer shows just how easily a formerly-invincible family becomes not-so-invincible. The only problem though is placement: where best do these chapters go if I add them? Probably after Roman Veretti meets his fate; that’s when the Snake shows just how hard he is to stop.

Well, I’ve rambled on long enough. Here’s Chapter 21 as promised; enjoy and please do not hesitate to tell me what you think.

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Roman Veretti was whistling as he turned off the main road and onto the scenic route to Connecticut. The sun was shining, the view was beautiful, the minivan was warm and toasty, the XM radio was playing some of Roman’s favorite jazz and big band songs, “A Gal in Kalamazoo” and “What a Wonderful World”, among others, and there were no other cars on this secret route Roman loved so much.

Best of all, taking the scenic route meant another hour until Roman got to Connecticut, a place Roman wouldn’t have even considered visiting if his wife hadn’t insisted they go and visit her parents that weekend. It wasn’t as if they were bad people—Roman thought that Lizzy’s father was a hilarious storyteller and philosopher—but the house smelled heavily of cleaning products, and Lizzy’s mother always found some way or another to suggest that Roman was a poor choice of husband for her daughter and that Lizzy could do better without actually coming out and saying it. In truth, Roman preferred making sure the prostitutes under his watch made enough money for him rather than spending an entire weekend smelling dish soap and hearing criticisms about his paycheck.

 Just wait till I get off pimp duty and get into a real position in the family. Roman thought, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel as he listened to the music. Mr. Camerlengo’s getting to be real fond of me, and I’m sure that once this whole serial killer thing blows over, I’ll be able to get a job with money enough to shut up that old bat.

Up ahead on the road Roman noticed a car pulled over, its hood up and the lights blinking. The driver was waving his arms in the air, trying to signal Roman as he approached. For a moment Roman considered driving on, but the possibility a few more minutes away from Lizzy’s mother excited him enough that he turned on his turn signal and pulled over to the side of the road next to the car. The driver of the car ran up to Roman as Roman turned off the engine and stepped out of the minivan.

“You saved me!” said the driver, a young man who looked unremarkable save for a pair of brilliant blue eyes. “I can’t tell what’s up with my car and my cell has no signal. Do you think you can help me?”

“Let me see the car.” said Roman. “My dad was a mechanic, so I used to help him out all the time.”

“Well, isn’t that a stroke of luck!” said the driver. “She’s right over there. I figured that son of a bitch was conning me when he sold me this piece of crap.”

“We’ll see about that.” said Roman, sidling on over to the open hood. Peeking in, he examined the engine. To Roman’s confusion, the engine looked brand-new, and nothing he could see indicated any maintenance issues or repair needs.

“I don’t see any problems with the engine.” said Roman, ducking his head out from under the hood. “What’d you say was wrong with it—?”

WHAM!

There was a bright flash of light and Roman felt a sharp pain in the side of his head. He staggered, his hand pressed to his temple, before he staggered and fell over. The last thing he saw was the driver putting on a strange-looking mask before Roman closed his eyes and the world fell away.

Snake Ch. 20

Posted: August 15, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Well, I finished chapter twenty of Snake, and let me tell you, it was different writing this chapter than previous chapters. For one thing, I had started writing the chapter with a scene of Angela Murtz, my forensic psychologist/federal investigator (you might remember her from a previous post in which she was included in an exerpt) interviews the mistress of the latest victim, Thomas Luiso.

I had this whole interview set up, created how Murtz gained the woman’s trust, and even had an emotional revelation that Mr. Luiso wasn’t all his mistress thought he was. But as I was writing that, I thought to myself, Hey wait a minute, what exactly does this add to the story? I can some up all this information that’s needed in a few words, and can have another character fill Murtz in. So I went back and deleted the whole interview and instead skipped ahead to where Murtz goes upstairs with her partner, Blake Harnist, to check out Luiso’s body. If you ask me, I made the right decision; the chapter looks better without the interview with Murtz and Luiso’s mistress.

I also realized that in the chapters featuring Murtz and Harnist, four in total, three have been from Murtz’s POV, while only 1 has been from Harnist’s POV. I think I’ll change that for the next chapter featuring the duo and have the reader see things from Harnist’s POV. It only seems fair, since the characters are partners and work together to stop the Snake.

Now, I wasn’t able to do a Lucky 7 meme, because page 77 of the story only has 5 lines on it. However, I’m pretty sure the next chapter, which has the Snake himself in it, doesn’t reveal too much about the character, so I’ll include as much of that as I can. Hope you like that.

See you next post.

Snake Excerpt: The Snake In Action

Posted: July 22, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
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Yeah, the Snake can be pretty vicious. Just like the basilisk, except without the whole eye thing. Still, very scary, isn’t it.

Ladies and gentlebloggers, I finally wrote a section of my novel-in-progress Snake with the Snake in it that I can post online without giving away too much of the character away. It only took sixteen chapters, but I finally wrote it. And I got to say, it came pretty easy to me; I didn’t have any writer’s block while working on it.

For a little context, here’s what’s going on right now: the Snake has followed his next target, loan shark Thomas Luiso, to the home of Luiso’s mistress. The Snake sneaks in and catches them in the middle of some fun (if you get my meaning). Luiso’s mistress faints from the shock, while Snake fights Luiso, who hasn’t realized he is dealing with the man who brutally murdered two other members of Luiso’s group.

Hope you like what you read, but just warning you, things are going to get violent. Also, I want to clarify something I said in the last post dedicated to the Snake: I said Part II was the longest part in Snake. Actually it’s Part III. Sorry about that.

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The Snake strode over to Luiso, who was just getting off the bed. Luiso looked at him and cursed in Italian. “You son of a bitch.” he growled. The Snake ignored him, reaching for Luiso’s neck.

Just then Luiso spun, kicking the Snake in the knee. The Snake stumbled backward, hitting his head against the wall. Luiso ran at him, swinging his fist. The Snake dodged, moving his head to the right to avoid Luiso’s fist, which went into the wall with a sickening crunch. Luiso pulled on his hand, but it looked stuck in the wall.

The Snake smiled from beneath his mask and grabbed Luiso’s meaty left nipple, giving it a hard twist. Luiso screamed in pain, grabbing the Snake’s arm weakly with the hand not stuck in the wall.

Letting go of the nipple, the Snake pulled back his fists and punched Luiso in the gut and face. Luiso groaned with each impact, looking more and more on the verge of fainting every time the Snake hit him. The Snake kept up the barrage, his excitement building. How much longer can you go? he thought. How much more can you struggle before I make you go through more pain?

Suddenly Luiso swung a fist at the side of the Snake’s head, hitting him right in the ear; the Snake fell over, holding his ear as if it were about to fall off. With a loud crunch, Luiso freed his other hand from the wall and turned to the Snake. “You are so morto, freak.” said Luiso. “Teach you to mess with me!”

The Snake saw Luiso take a step towards him and thought of an idea; as Luiso took another step forward, the Snake jumped and tackled Luiso’s large belly, sending the large man backwards and over. Luiso fell onto the ground with a loud thump, shaking the room as he hit the carpet. The Snake crawled onto Luiso’s chest, straightened himself up, and began punching Luiso’s face. Blood went flying as the Snake broke Luiso’s nose and knocked out a few teeth.

It was a while before the Snake realized that Luiso was knocked out. Standing up off the man’s expansive belly, the Snake looked at Luiso and wondered if he should steal a car and take him somewhere where they wouldn’t be disturbed or—

Then the Snake noticed there was a bathroom in the bedroom, one with a large bathtub and several fluffy white towels. An idea came to the Snake’s head, something he’d always wanted to try, and here was the perfect opportunity for it.

The Snake grabbed his gun from the vanity table and, hooking his arms underneath Luiso’s armpits, dragged Luiso into the bathroom.

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What happens in the bathroom that the Snake has been wanting to try? I’m not saying, except it will make you squirm. Hope you like what you read. If I can, I’ll post more excerpts. Until then, thanks for reading and have a nice day.

The Snake: Part I Done

Posted: July 19, 2012 in Novel, Writing
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Is it just me, or does this image totally rock?

I’m finished with Part I of Snake, and to tell you the truth, I’m having a blast writing it. I write a chapter, go over it after at least a half-hour break, take a shorter break, and then I work on a new chapter. I’m getting one or two of them done in a day. Not to mention that I’m able to incorporate so many things I love into the writing process: I’ve mentioned that I meditate, and when I write just after meditating, the words seem to flow more easily onto the screen of my computer (and I thought I couldn’t make these words flow any more easily!). Plus I’ve also been watching a ton of Law & Order: SVU reruns, which is due to the fact that both Snake and SVU deal with thugs who take something sacred and beautiful like sex and turn it into a profane nightmare. With Snake, it’s my antagonist mafia family, with SVU it’s…you know what, I think we all know the answer to that one.

You know, I was planning on naming Part I “Getting to Know A Killer”, but now I think that’s not accurate. I mean, the names for the other parts are so far on the mark, but Part I, I just don’t see it anymore. Really, we get a little bit inside Snake’s mind, but not enough to know what his motivation is or how he came to be a killer. Sure, we see a little of his home life, but that’s not enough to get a sense of his character. So I’ll have to think of a new name for Part I.

As for Part II, “Hunting in the Concrete Jungle”, its full speed ahead tomorrow morning. Part II’s by far the longest of the sections, but it’s one I’m looking forward to. Wish me luck.

Oh, by the way, I’m still looking for the perfect excerpt where we actually interact with the Snake. So far every time I’ve written from his point-of-view, I haven’t been able to use the chapter because it reveals a detail I want to keep hidden from the public at this time. But I promise, as soon as I have a part I can post without revealing anything too important, I’ll post it. You’ll know when that excerpt appears: the picture at the top of the post will be of the basilisk from Harry Potter!

Snake Excerpt: The Profile

Posted: July 16, 2012 in Novel, Scary Stuff, Writing
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Cool snake photo I found online. You like it?

Hey all. Just thought I’d give you another excerpt from my novel-in-progress, Snake. This time around I thought I’d show you guys my criminal profiler, Special Agent Angela Murtz, giving her idea of who the serial killer might be. I’ve been working with a forensic psychologist, whose been a great help at not only coming up with the profile, but also looking at my killer with unclouded eyes (by that I mean he knows only what the police in the novel know, whereas I know everything, and that can be a bit of a problem).

Hope you like what you read, and I promise at some point I’ll do an excerpt featuring the killer himself. Oh, and guess what? This is officially my one-hundredth post! Woo-hoo! Big milestone, huh?

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Patton sighed. “What kind of freak are we dealing with here? He knows just about every trick in the book.”

“I think that might be because he’s ex-military.” said Murtz.

“Ex-military?” Gramer repeated; both Gramer and Patton fixed their attention on Murtz.

“Yes, but not American.” Murtz went on. “Most likely he’s a native Russian male, between the ages of thirty and forty-five, and has extensive experience with weapons, especially firearms. He’s been in country at least ten years, might be a taxi driver himself, and may or may not have ties to the Russian mob here.”

  “And he’s killing because…?” asked Patton.

“He thinks he’s better at delivering justice to criminals than the police.” Murtz explained. “And he’s doing it in such a way that both the police and the Camerlengos know about it. He craves attention, which is why he’s acting like Daredevil, a lone vigilante. If we were to send him a message through the media, he’d likely respond to it in the hopes we’d give him more press time.”

“Let’s hold off on sending this guy a love letter through the newspaper or television.” Gramer instructed. “Candace Berman’s already been on the news saying hter might be a mafia-hunting serial killer on the loose in New York, only she said that in more idealistic terms.”

“Sounds like something she’d do.” said Harnist.

“See if anyone matches Murtz’s profile here in New York.” commanded Patton. “Contact INS and see if they have any Russian ex-military in their system. And Murtz?”

 “Yes sir?”

 “What’s the likelihood this guy will kill again?” asked Patton.

 Murtz looked Patton straight in the eye and said, “Likely. Extremely likely.”

Understanding Psychopathy A Little Better

Posted: July 9, 2012 in Novel, Reflections, Scary Stuff, Writing
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I decided that I wanted to do a little studying of psychopaths, since I’m writing a novel involving serial killer. I heard about a book by journalist Jon Ronson called “The Psychopath Test” and decided to take a look at it. I learned a lot (but I won’t be doing a review of it for my own reasons):

For instance, while “psychopath” and “sociopath” are practically interchangeable terms, “psychopaths” and “serial killers” aren’t, which I think some people believe. Serial killers may suffer from any of a hole host of mental disorders besides psychopathy (bipolar, delusions, schizophrenia, psychosis, etc), or they may just be motivated by the usual suspects for committing crimes: greed, anger, or for a thrill. Psychopaths are individuals who are unable to feel emotions, probably due to a problem in their amygdala.

I also learned a few things about diagnosing psychopaths, including checklists used to identify psychopaths (which, if you should get your hands on one, you should not use thinking it’s a wonder tool for diagnosing killers; only trained professionals can really make use of those checklists, and usually in tandem with several other tools, including history of violence, interviews with patients, and several other factors. It still didn’t stop me from trying to diagnose real and fictional people, though). And the theory of psychopaths as some of the top people on Wall Street and in major corporations was explored, with some very interesting conclusions.

So, how does this relate to Snake? Well, I can say this much; my serial killer is not a psychopath (though another character certainly is!). However, he probably is suffering from another mental disorder, and I have no idea what it could be, so I’ll have to check it out once I find somebody who can give me an idea of what a profiler might think of my character based on just his murders. If you know anyone like that who could help, please don’t hesitate to tell me.

Snake Prologue: First Draft Done

Posted: July 4, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
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I know thrillers are supposed to have short chapters but I never expected it to be this simple to finish! I mean, it’s just the prologue, and it’s only four chapters, but it still seemed to fly by. No wonder people like James Patterson can get several novels published in a year, averaging 1 novel per series they write in: they have the time of day to spend on several different projects!

Anyway, the first draft of the prologue of Snake is done. It seemed to flow through my fingers onto the keyboard, I tell ya, and I enjoyed writing it (though writing out the torture scene so as to arouse terror in a possible reader was difficult, I’ll admit). Overall, the entire prologue was 15 Microsoft Word pages, a little over 4,000 words, and the average amount of time it took to write a chapter was maybe an hour to an hour and forty-five minutes.

If you want to read a little of Snake, you can head back to about two days ago, where I printed a small excerpt from the first chapter. Warning, there are bad words in it, so if you object to such things, I suggest you ignore this final paragraph. Once again, happy 4th of July!

Snake: First Chapter Preview

Posted: July 2, 2012 in Living and Life, Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
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I and most of Central Ohio lost power Friday, so I haven’t had Internet all weekend. Plus when I tried to use a public computer, the Internet was soo slooow that before I knew it, I had to be at my next thing before I could finish reading posts or checking my dashboard. Well, I’m making up for that right now, and I’m doing it by first writing this post, which has a small excerpt from my new novel-in-progress Snake.

I managed to write this Saturday night, using what little power I had left on my laptop. As I wrote by candlelight and computer screen, feeling almost like a modern-day Edgar Allen Poe, I felt the words flowing through me, from my fingertips to the computer. It was exhilarating, and I managed to finish the chapter before I had to turn off my computer to conserve the battery.

I hope you like what you read. If I find any time or if I get my electricity back by this evening, I’ll do a little more work.

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(Warning: The following preview features some very bad words, so if you have kids, I suggest you make sure they’re not around when you read this post.)

 

Paul felt a buzz in his pocket and looked down. Through the fabric in his pants Paul could see the light from his phone shining through. Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and dove into a little alcove where he could take the call in peace. Without checking the number he pressed the talk button and brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” said Paul; on the other end all he could hear was a deep breathing. Paul raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Who is this?” He checked the caller ID, and saw only UNKNOWN NUMBER.

Suddenly the person at the other end of the phone spoke. “Men in your line of business have no right to be in a church, Mr. Sanonia.”

Paul stared at the phone, surprised. Glancing quickly around the church, he saw only three people, and none of them were on their phones. How did this person know where he was and how did he get his number? He looked back at the phone and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Who the fuck is this?”

The man on the other end laughed, a deep, hearty laugh that for some reason chilled Paul’s skin. “When your cousin James Sanonia died, he was shot in the head.” said the man, his voice deep and affected with a heavy Russian accent. “Then several bones were broken all over his body. He was then taken from wherever he was killed and thrown in the Hudson. Dockworkers saw his body floating and pulled him up out of the water. By the time they got him though, there was nothing to identify your cousin’s murderer. Except for one interesting detail, that is.”

Paul froze, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Who was this guy? How did he know all that? “And what was that detail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

The man spoke, and Paul froze. “You killed my cousin.” he hissed angrily. “You killed Jamie.”

“Horrible thing, wasn’t it?” said the Russian man. “I couldn’t get what I wanted out of your cousin. But I’m sure you’ll be much more helpful.”

Paul was only half-listening; he was looking around the Church, trying to find someone—anyone!—on a phone. One of the other worshippers, a teenage girl with a skirt too short for the cold February weather, got out of a pew while texting. Besides her, no one else seemed to have a phone.

“Where the fuck are you, you crazy shit!” Paul whispered into the phone. “Come on out and face me like a man!”

“But there is no fun in that.” replied the Russian man. “Besides, you’re so much more amusing to watch.”

Paul stepped out of the alcove, looking around the church. “Watch?” he repeated.

“Oh, didn’t I mention it?” asked the Russian man. “I’m right in the church with you.”

The “Snake” Outline

Posted: June 22, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Okay, I’ve mentioned this before, but this summer I’m working on a new novel called “Snake”, and it’s about a serial killer. Right now, I’m working on the outline of the novel, becuase I prefer using an outline before starting a novel. I have to say, I’m not even done with the outline, but it’s already proven itself to be a learning experience:

For starters, while I’ve thought about Snake and what I wanted to do with him for a while, writing out the actual outline and planning out the rough draft of the plot has been kind of like going down a river: I’ve just gone where it’s taken me. Scenes I had half-planned in my head are becoming fully-formed, while other scenes are being created rifht at the moment I write them down and a few scenes are being dropped completely! It’s hard deciding what to put in, what to keep, and what to discard, but in the end I feel it’s making the story better.

Also, if you read thrillers you know that the chapters are often very short, which is because the authors want to keep the suspense up as much as they can. Learning how to do that myself has been very intersting, and I think I’m getting the hang of it. I mean, I’ve just finished Part III (these novels always come in parts) and the story is already 60+ chapters! That’s at least three times “Reborn City”! I wouldn’t be surprised if the final chapter count is in the hundreds! Oh, and did I mention that if this novel were a movie, the end of Part III would probably be about two-thirds of the way through the film?

I hope to have the outline done within the next week. By that time I’ll know what I want to do with my story and how I’ll go about doing it. So wish me luck! I’ll give you another update when I’m done with the outline.

The Lucky 7 Meme

Posted: June 17, 2012 in Novel, Writing
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Alright, here’s the latest on the blogosphere: apparently quite a few blogs are doing this thing where if you’re writing a novel or short story, you take your 7th or 77th page (depending on what you’re writing) go to the seventh line, and pull out 7 lines or paragraphs. A few of the blogs I follow did that, so I figured, what the heck? Why not?

So right now, I’m posting lines 7-14 of page 77 of Reborn City, the novel I’m currently trying to market to agents. At this moment of the story, my main character Zahara is getting a tattoo, even though she doesn’t really want to get one. Why does she have to get a tattoo she doesn’t want? I can’t reveal that here, but if you’re an agent and you’re interested, let me know and we’ll talk.

So here’s my Lucky 7 meme:

“Um…yeah, sure. Go ahead.” said Zahara. As soon as Frimms had turned his glance away from her, Zahara closed her eyes. Allah, the Most Merciful and Understanding, please forgive me for this transgression. When I leave the Hydras and return to New York I swear in the name of the Prophet that I will get this tattoo removed, she thought in Arabic. Tattoos weren’t considered cool things to have on one’s body in Sunni Islam; the Shi’ites were allowed to get tattoos, but for Zahara it was much more preferable to get henna tattoos. Zahara figured that if she asked these guys if she could get a henna tattoo they’d probably just laugh or give her a queer look and ask her why she’d want that.

Well, there you go, ladies and gents. I hope that at least whetted your appetites and made you a little more interested in Reborn City. All for now, so bye.

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