Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

Yeah, the Snake can be pretty vicious. Just like the basilisk, except without the whole eye thing. Still, very scary, isn’t it.

Ladies and gentlebloggers, I finally wrote a section of my novel-in-progress Snake with the Snake in it that I can post online without giving away too much of the character away. It only took sixteen chapters, but I finally wrote it. And I got to say, it came pretty easy to me; I didn’t have any writer’s block while working on it.

For a little context, here’s what’s going on right now: the Snake has followed his next target, loan shark Thomas Luiso, to the home of Luiso’s mistress. The Snake sneaks in and catches them in the middle of some fun (if you get my meaning). Luiso’s mistress faints from the shock, while Snake fights Luiso, who hasn’t realized he is dealing with the man who brutally murdered two other members of Luiso’s group.

Hope you like what you read, but just warning you, things are going to get violent. Also, I want to clarify something I said in the last post dedicated to the Snake: I said Part II was the longest part in Snake. Actually it’s Part III. Sorry about that.

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The Snake strode over to Luiso, who was just getting off the bed. Luiso looked at him and cursed in Italian. “You son of a bitch.” he growled. The Snake ignored him, reaching for Luiso’s neck.

Just then Luiso spun, kicking the Snake in the knee. The Snake stumbled backward, hitting his head against the wall. Luiso ran at him, swinging his fist. The Snake dodged, moving his head to the right to avoid Luiso’s fist, which went into the wall with a sickening crunch. Luiso pulled on his hand, but it looked stuck in the wall.

The Snake smiled from beneath his mask and grabbed Luiso’s meaty left nipple, giving it a hard twist. Luiso screamed in pain, grabbing the Snake’s arm weakly with the hand not stuck in the wall.

Letting go of the nipple, the Snake pulled back his fists and punched Luiso in the gut and face. Luiso groaned with each impact, looking more and more on the verge of fainting every time the Snake hit him. The Snake kept up the barrage, his excitement building. How much longer can you go? he thought. How much more can you struggle before I make you go through more pain?

Suddenly Luiso swung a fist at the side of the Snake’s head, hitting him right in the ear; the Snake fell over, holding his ear as if it were about to fall off. With a loud crunch, Luiso freed his other hand from the wall and turned to the Snake. “You are so morto, freak.” said Luiso. “Teach you to mess with me!”

The Snake saw Luiso take a step towards him and thought of an idea; as Luiso took another step forward, the Snake jumped and tackled Luiso’s large belly, sending the large man backwards and over. Luiso fell onto the ground with a loud thump, shaking the room as he hit the carpet. The Snake crawled onto Luiso’s chest, straightened himself up, and began punching Luiso’s face. Blood went flying as the Snake broke Luiso’s nose and knocked out a few teeth.

It was a while before the Snake realized that Luiso was knocked out. Standing up off the man’s expansive belly, the Snake looked at Luiso and wondered if he should steal a car and take him somewhere where they wouldn’t be disturbed or—

Then the Snake noticed there was a bathroom in the bedroom, one with a large bathtub and several fluffy white towels. An idea came to the Snake’s head, something he’d always wanted to try, and here was the perfect opportunity for it.

The Snake grabbed his gun from the vanity table and, hooking his arms underneath Luiso’s armpits, dragged Luiso into the bathroom.

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What happens in the bathroom that the Snake has been wanting to try? I’m not saying, except it will make you squirm. Hope you like what you read. If I can, I’ll post more excerpts. Until then, thanks for reading and have a nice day.

The Snake: Part I Done

Posted: July 19, 2012 in Novel, Writing
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Is it just me, or does this image totally rock?

I’m finished with Part I of Snake, and to tell you the truth, I’m having a blast writing it. I write a chapter, go over it after at least a half-hour break, take a shorter break, and then I work on a new chapter. I’m getting one or two of them done in a day. Not to mention that I’m able to incorporate so many things I love into the writing process: I’ve mentioned that I meditate, and when I write just after meditating, the words seem to flow more easily onto the screen of my computer (and I thought I couldn’t make these words flow any more easily!). Plus I’ve also been watching a ton of Law & Order: SVU reruns, which is due to the fact that both Snake and SVU deal with thugs who take something sacred and beautiful like sex and turn it into a profane nightmare. With Snake, it’s my antagonist mafia family, with SVU it’s…you know what, I think we all know the answer to that one.

You know, I was planning on naming Part I “Getting to Know A Killer”, but now I think that’s not accurate. I mean, the names for the other parts are so far on the mark, but Part I, I just don’t see it anymore. Really, we get a little bit inside Snake’s mind, but not enough to know what his motivation is or how he came to be a killer. Sure, we see a little of his home life, but that’s not enough to get a sense of his character. So I’ll have to think of a new name for Part I.

As for Part II, “Hunting in the Concrete Jungle”, its full speed ahead tomorrow morning. Part II’s by far the longest of the sections, but it’s one I’m looking forward to. Wish me luck.

Oh, by the way, I’m still looking for the perfect excerpt where we actually interact with the Snake. So far every time I’ve written from his point-of-view, I haven’t been able to use the chapter because it reveals a detail I want to keep hidden from the public at this time. But I promise, as soon as I have a part I can post without revealing anything too important, I’ll post it. You’ll know when that excerpt appears: the picture at the top of the post will be of the basilisk from Harry Potter!

Cool snake photo I found online. You like it?

Hey all. Just thought I’d give you another excerpt from my novel-in-progress, Snake. This time around I thought I’d show you guys my criminal profiler, Special Agent Angela Murtz, giving her idea of who the serial killer might be. I’ve been working with a forensic psychologist, whose been a great help at not only coming up with the profile, but also looking at my killer with unclouded eyes (by that I mean he knows only what the police in the novel know, whereas I know everything, and that can be a bit of a problem).

Hope you like what you read, and I promise at some point I’ll do an excerpt featuring the killer himself. Oh, and guess what? This is officially my one-hundredth post! Woo-hoo! Big milestone, huh?

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Patton sighed. “What kind of freak are we dealing with here? He knows just about every trick in the book.”

“I think that might be because he’s ex-military.” said Murtz.

“Ex-military?” Gramer repeated; both Gramer and Patton fixed their attention on Murtz.

“Yes, but not American.” Murtz went on. “Most likely he’s a native Russian male, between the ages of thirty and forty-five, and has extensive experience with weapons, especially firearms. He’s been in country at least ten years, might be a taxi driver himself, and may or may not have ties to the Russian mob here.”

  “And he’s killing because…?” asked Patton.

“He thinks he’s better at delivering justice to criminals than the police.” Murtz explained. “And he’s doing it in such a way that both the police and the Camerlengos know about it. He craves attention, which is why he’s acting like Daredevil, a lone vigilante. If we were to send him a message through the media, he’d likely respond to it in the hopes we’d give him more press time.”

“Let’s hold off on sending this guy a love letter through the newspaper or television.” Gramer instructed. “Candace Berman’s already been on the news saying hter might be a mafia-hunting serial killer on the loose in New York, only she said that in more idealistic terms.”

“Sounds like something she’d do.” said Harnist.

“See if anyone matches Murtz’s profile here in New York.” commanded Patton. “Contact INS and see if they have any Russian ex-military in their system. And Murtz?”

 “Yes sir?”

 “What’s the likelihood this guy will kill again?” asked Patton.

 Murtz looked Patton straight in the eye and said, “Likely. Extremely likely.”

I decided that I wanted to do a little studying of psychopaths, since I’m writing a novel involving serial killer. I heard about a book by journalist Jon Ronson called “The Psychopath Test” and decided to take a look at it. I learned a lot (but I won’t be doing a review of it for my own reasons):

For instance, while “psychopath” and “sociopath” are practically interchangeable terms, “psychopaths” and “serial killers” aren’t, which I think some people believe. Serial killers may suffer from any of a hole host of mental disorders besides psychopathy (bipolar, delusions, schizophrenia, psychosis, etc), or they may just be motivated by the usual suspects for committing crimes: greed, anger, or for a thrill. Psychopaths are individuals who are unable to feel emotions, probably due to a problem in their amygdala.

I also learned a few things about diagnosing psychopaths, including checklists used to identify psychopaths (which, if you should get your hands on one, you should not use thinking it’s a wonder tool for diagnosing killers; only trained professionals can really make use of those checklists, and usually in tandem with several other tools, including history of violence, interviews with patients, and several other factors. It still didn’t stop me from trying to diagnose real and fictional people, though). And the theory of psychopaths as some of the top people on Wall Street and in major corporations was explored, with some very interesting conclusions.

So, how does this relate to Snake? Well, I can say this much; my serial killer is not a psychopath (though another character certainly is!). However, he probably is suffering from another mental disorder, and I have no idea what it could be, so I’ll have to check it out once I find somebody who can give me an idea of what a profiler might think of my character based on just his murders. If you know anyone like that who could help, please don’t hesitate to tell me.

Serious Humor

Posted: July 8, 2012 in Reflections, Writing
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With a title like that, you know you wanna read this post.

Alright, after sufficient time to geek out over Anne Rice coming onto my blog and giving me a major boost in stats (see last post), I got down to reading a volume about a Japanese comic book that I liked. The series, Bakuman, is about two teens who team up to write Japanese comic books together. It’s very unique and lots of fun to read (especially since it’s a look into a very different industry than writing), but occasionally they teach me something about my own work. Like last night, for example:

In the comic book, the main characters were discussing with their editor about how to deliver humor in a serious comic book that isn’t delivered in an annoying or off-putting way. They called it “serious humor”, and during the course of the comic book the creators of Bakuman took many oppurtunities just to illustrate their point. There was one instance when they were discussing a change in the editorial department and how it was a very big change for many characters. Serious, right? But the way they illustrated the characters’ reactions was hilarious, and it didn’t detract from the work at all.

Pretty soon I started noticing this “serious humor” in some other works I read. James Patterson, in his Alex Cross novels, has had points where the characters said something that was dead serious, but it was delivered in such a funny way. Heck, even something Alex does or observes, while serious to him, is delivered in funny ways, and yet the reader is not put-off by it at all! Instead, the work is enhanced in a way.

And then I remembered, in the fifth chapter of my work-in-progress Snake, one of the characters says something and while he’s being serious, I’m cracking up while writing it. It’s funny that I wrote that the same day I read a comic book that explores the subject.

Conclusion: serious humor is not something easily tapped into, and it’s not something you calculate either. I guess you can say that you put it in when the time is right, that it just comes to you and you go with it. At least, that’s how I find it.

All for now. Oh, and I highly recommend Bakuman, it’s very interesting. Available in hard-copy and e-book format.

I know thrillers are supposed to have short chapters but I never expected it to be this simple to finish! I mean, it’s just the prologue, and it’s only four chapters, but it still seemed to fly by. No wonder people like James Patterson can get several novels published in a year, averaging 1 novel per series they write in: they have the time of day to spend on several different projects!

Anyway, the first draft of the prologue of Snake is done. It seemed to flow through my fingers onto the keyboard, I tell ya, and I enjoyed writing it (though writing out the torture scene so as to arouse terror in a possible reader was difficult, I’ll admit). Overall, the entire prologue was 15 Microsoft Word pages, a little over 4,000 words, and the average amount of time it took to write a chapter was maybe an hour to an hour and forty-five minutes.

If you want to read a little of Snake, you can head back to about two days ago, where I printed a small excerpt from the first chapter. Warning, there are bad words in it, so if you object to such things, I suggest you ignore this final paragraph. Once again, happy 4th of July!

Why I Hate Deus Ex Machina

Posted: July 2, 2012 in Reflections, Writing
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In my last post, I mentioned that I’d lost power. So I was reading a book by flashlight, a book that I’d been looking forward to as it was the last volume in a really excellent sci-fi trilogy, and I was wondering how they were going to resolve the seemingly-unsolvable plot. What happens? No big battle; no jump into a black hole to stop the destruction of Earth; no combining of psychic powers in order to create a super-psychic power and save the world. Nope, just a deus ex machina, leaving me feeling a little cheated.

For those of you who don’t spend their time obsessing over terms like bildungsroman and deus ex machina, the deus ex machina is a plot device, usually a person or an object, that is inserted suddenly into a story in order to solve a seemingly-unsolvable plot. However, plenty of writers don’t like to use these plot devices, as they feel that they are not only cheating the readers out of a good resolution to the story, but also because the writers might feel they are cheating themselves.

You may be familiar with some famous deus ex machinas (I’m not sure if that’s actually the term’s plural form but whatever): the ending of Huck Finn is a well-known example. Lord of the Flies’ ending is also a deus ex machina, along with the ending for War of the Worlds. And I’m sure that if, given the time, I tried to look for more famous examples, I’d come up with a whole list of them.

Fortunately I don’t have the time. But if you want to put up your least favorite deus ex machina, and the emotional reaction you felt when you read/watched it, by all means tell me. I’d love to complain about it with you.

I and most of Central Ohio lost power Friday, so I haven’t had Internet all weekend. Plus when I tried to use a public computer, the Internet was soo slooow that before I knew it, I had to be at my next thing before I could finish reading posts or checking my dashboard. Well, I’m making up for that right now, and I’m doing it by first writing this post, which has a small excerpt from my new novel-in-progress Snake.

I managed to write this Saturday night, using what little power I had left on my laptop. As I wrote by candlelight and computer screen, feeling almost like a modern-day Edgar Allen Poe, I felt the words flowing through me, from my fingertips to the computer. It was exhilarating, and I managed to finish the chapter before I had to turn off my computer to conserve the battery.

I hope you like what you read. If I find any time or if I get my electricity back by this evening, I’ll do a little more work.

~~~

(Warning: The following preview features some very bad words, so if you have kids, I suggest you make sure they’re not around when you read this post.)

 

Paul felt a buzz in his pocket and looked down. Through the fabric in his pants Paul could see the light from his phone shining through. Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and dove into a little alcove where he could take the call in peace. Without checking the number he pressed the talk button and brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” said Paul; on the other end all he could hear was a deep breathing. Paul raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Who is this?” He checked the caller ID, and saw only UNKNOWN NUMBER.

Suddenly the person at the other end of the phone spoke. “Men in your line of business have no right to be in a church, Mr. Sanonia.”

Paul stared at the phone, surprised. Glancing quickly around the church, he saw only three people, and none of them were on their phones. How did this person know where he was and how did he get his number? He looked back at the phone and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Who the fuck is this?”

The man on the other end laughed, a deep, hearty laugh that for some reason chilled Paul’s skin. “When your cousin James Sanonia died, he was shot in the head.” said the man, his voice deep and affected with a heavy Russian accent. “Then several bones were broken all over his body. He was then taken from wherever he was killed and thrown in the Hudson. Dockworkers saw his body floating and pulled him up out of the water. By the time they got him though, there was nothing to identify your cousin’s murderer. Except for one interesting detail, that is.”

Paul froze, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Who was this guy? How did he know all that? “And what was that detail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

The man spoke, and Paul froze. “You killed my cousin.” he hissed angrily. “You killed Jamie.”

“Horrible thing, wasn’t it?” said the Russian man. “I couldn’t get what I wanted out of your cousin. But I’m sure you’ll be much more helpful.”

Paul was only half-listening; he was looking around the Church, trying to find someone—anyone!—on a phone. One of the other worshippers, a teenage girl with a skirt too short for the cold February weather, got out of a pew while texting. Besides her, no one else seemed to have a phone.

“Where the fuck are you, you crazy shit!” Paul whispered into the phone. “Come on out and face me like a man!”

“But there is no fun in that.” replied the Russian man. “Besides, you’re so much more amusing to watch.”

Paul stepped out of the alcove, looking around the church. “Watch?” he repeated.

“Oh, didn’t I mention it?” asked the Russian man. “I’m right in the church with you.”

Lately I’ve been churning out on average a post a day. This never happened when I first started my blog. My, how times have changed…

Okay, before I go off on a tangent about posting and blogging, I’m going to get into the reason for this post. As you all know (or if you’ve become a follower in the past couple of days, are just learning), I wrote a novel called Reborn City and I am currently marketing it to agents. Not wanting to let my novel-writing skills diminish in the meantime, but not quite wanting to start RC‘s sequel yet, I decided to work on an unrelated novel, and held a little poll for deciding which novel out of two choices I’d work on. Now that the poll is long over, I’d like to announce that the outline for the novel (called Snake, if you haven’t already guessed that from the title of the post), is finished.

Or at least, the first draft of the outline is. Yes there’s a first draft. And it’s longer than the outline for RC, I’ll tell ya. 112 chapters! That’s five less than what I predicted, but still truly a sign that I’m writing a thriller. Thankfully there’s a smaller circle of main characters in Snake than in RC, so I didn’t have to put too much effort into writing out the small bios for each major character.

I’ll probably due a final draft next week. After that I’ll start a timeline so I have all the dates for the events in Snake planned out (trust me, a timeline would’ve been helpful when I was writing RC). After that there will come a little research, and then finally the writing, during which I shall post small snippets of Snake here on Rami Ungar the Writer.

Hope to have something for you soon. Bye!

Names, Names, Names

Posted: June 25, 2012 in Reflections, Writing
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You ever come up with a character, give them a background, a personality, give them certain scenes where certain character traits that you just admire and adore in them really shine? And then you realize this character of yours shares the same first name as somebody you know? Becuase it’s happened to me twice that I can remember.

The first time was in my early years of high school, when the vampire craze was still in full swing (or was it just taking off?). Anyway, I was writing this great character, a vampire desperately trying to find a cure to become human again and kill the vampire who’d turned him, but I realized he shared the same first name as a friend and classmate of mine. When my friend found out, he kept saying whenever the subject was brought up that I’d named the character after him, and when he found out they both had brown hair (but different shades and styles), that conviction only got stronger. Well, I decided to hold off on the story until vampires were in an in-between-bursts-of-popularity period so I wouldn’t look like some hack trying to hitch a ride on a bandwagon, but for a while it was annoying.

The second time involves Snake, actually. I had this wonderful character in mind for the female lead. I’d already planned out her role and her character traits, and wanted to find a name that began with an A to match her (she just seemed like an “A” person to me). It must’ve been three weeks after I’d settled on a name that a girl in my dorm whom I’m friends with shares the same name. Luckily, she hasn’t found out yet, creating no misunderstandings, and I’m not sure if she has my blog’s address, but it’ll be interesting if she finds out and asks if I based the character on her. To which I’ll reply, “Are you eighteen and a redhead?”

Has this ever happened to any of you? Please let me know if it has.