About three weeks back, I wrote a blog post about how unsure I was regarding my feelings towards my disabilities, let alone if I felt “pride” in them during Disability Pride Month. Some time later, NPR asked readers with disabilities to submit their experiences with disability and what they wanted able-bodied people to know for an article. I submitted my thoughts and, much to my delight, I found out Sunday morning that my submission was used in the article, which I’ve linked to in the button below.
Did you enjoy the article? I did. And it was educational for me too. Someone in the article mentioned how disability isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but it could be a rich experience. They said this despite all the troubles that can come from their own disability.
That spoke to me. Like in my previous post, I’m not sure if I feel pride in my disabilities. On the one hand, autism and ADHD, among other conditions, makes me what is known as “neurospicy” and the unique individual that I am today. They probably also contribute to my writing in a major way, allowing me to see the world in a unique way and come up with wild ideas that translate into (what I like to think are) amazing stories.
On the other hand, I still worry that, because social cues aren’t always obvious to me, I’m skirting the edge of Sheldon Cooper-levels of awkwardness. Or that my problems with focusing and attention might negatively affect my job or my goals in life.
And God knows there’s still a lot of ableism in our society and a lot of people who still need education in interacting with people with disabilities, even if they think they know it all.
Like the folks in the article said, it can be a rich and varied experience, and it’s different for every person. And it doesn’t always have to be a barrier. Like I said in the article, I own my home, I have a good job, and I’ve published books and short stories. Some might think my disabilities make doing that impossible, but in actuality, they might even help me accomplish those things.
Maybe I still don’t know if I feel “pride” in my disabilities. But I know they don’t get in the way of my life. And I know they’re not a death sentence, or worse than death. They’re a part of me, and I wouldn’t be me without them. And while I wish social situations were easier to read, I would never wish to be different than I am.
Okay, maybe I might change some stuff. But that would be stuff like never needing to use sunscreen again, or having a swimmer’s build no matter what I eat or how much I exercise. But the essential stuff? I wouldn’t change a bit.
That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. Until next time, good night and pleasant nightmares.
Rami Ungar The Writer 