Review: Europa Report

Posted: September 5, 2013 in Review
Tags: , , , ,

If it was Europa Report Card, I’d give it an F.

Not as good as I expected.

I was very curious about the film when I saw the trailer when I went to see Elysium. So when I finally got the chance to see it, I hoped it was as good as they were trying to make the film seem, which was a documentary/found-footage film that marries Paranormal Activity to modern astrobiology theories and science fiction.

Unfortunately, the filmmakers fail to do this. The film, which is about a manned mission to Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons and the one that scientists believe cold possibly harbor life underneath its icy surface, chronicles from a number of placed cameras the trials and travails of the crew, especially when they finally get to Europa and find they’re not alone (obviously). The events aren’t always in chronological order, and there are a lot of interviews with representatives and scientists working for the company that funded the mission.

Is it a novel idea? Yes, to a certain degree. Is it a good thriller? Not really. The film takes too long to actually get to Europa, reveals who’s going to die too early to make the story very thrilling, and when we finally get to Europa’s surface, there’s more fascination with the scientific experiments than there is of the monster menacing the crew. By the time the focus of the film is to get away from the monster, who has not been revealed except for some deep-pink bio-luminescence underneath the ice, we are more annoyed with curiosity for what the creature is than what is happening to the crew, whose fate we basically have figured out and are bored with.

And when they finally reveal the monster…well, not so scary. In fact, it’s kind of stereotypical for alien movies where the alien is more monstrous than humanoid. It’d be scarier if it were modeled after Godzilla. Even the deep pink bio-luminescence couldn’t make that less terrifying.

All in all, Europa Report is so high on the science and documentary-style footage that its filmmakers forgot to make the film actually entertaining for the people going to see it. I give it a 2.6 out of 5. Don’t even bother to wait for it to come out on DVD. Trust me, it’s a waste of time.

  1. Whaaaat? I didn’t expect you to see this before I did! Now my views will be tainted. TAINTED I SAY!

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