Archive for the ‘Review’ Category

My Favorite Slasher Killers

Posted: May 25, 2012 in Review
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One of the bloggers I follow, and who follows me, storiesbywilliams, often posts lists of his favorite science-fiction related things. His blog posts are usually long and well thought-out, and you can see the time and energy he puts into his posts. I could never match him in that, but I do think I’d like to take a page out of his book today with this post.

So, why is this post about my favorite slashers and the killers in them? (Slashers, for those of you who do not know, are films that rely on plenty of blood, guts, gore, and killing in order to get the scares and has very little character development. The villains are usually human, however they are usually very strong, do not react much to pain or injury, and are usually psychopathic, insane or outside what is considered the normal frame of mind for a human being. Supernatural abilities are optional in these films.) Well, I got out the remake of Halloween by Rob Zombie from the library today and I couldn’t help but think about all the slasher films I’ve seen. There are good ones and there are bad ones out there, but the point is, there are a lot of these films, and I think it’d be interesting to point out some of my favorites and recommend which films you should see, if you are so inclined to watch those films.

Note: I’ll be pointing out specific killers instead of franchises and only afterward will I point out my favorite films from the franchises themselves. This is because the most successful of these franchises tend to have iconic and very scary killers, and few slashers have become memorable without a famous killer. I would also like to point out that I have not seen every film in every franchise, as sometimes these films are very old, and the DVDs they are on become worn with use. Just something to remember.

MICHAEL MYERS

Michael Myers in the remake.

Michael Myers is the antagonist of most of the Halloween films, which were responsible for the slasher boom of the 80s and 90s. He is easily identifiable by the ironically-bland mask he wears in every film, and murders using a kitchen knife. Diagnosed early on as a psychopath, he murders his older sister and breaks out of an asylum years later just to murder again, heading to his hometown to find his baby sister. The only person around that really grasps how evil he Michael is would be his psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis, who repeatedly tries to find Michael before he causes more damage than he’s already done.Michael was so popular that when he wasn’t featured in the third Halloween film, the filmmakers brought him back for the fourth film. He’s since starred in all the films, including Rob Zombie’s amazing remake, which delves deeper in Michael’s past and obscures the reasons why he targets his younger reasons (in the original it was just to murder her, but it’s not quite clear in the remake). I recommend both the original and the remake, the only films in the franchise I have seen, but whatever you do, don’t get the third film! Without Michael, it’s no good.

PAMELA VOORHEES

Pamela Voorhees as played by Betsy Palmer in the original Friday the 13th.

The original villain of the Friday the 13th movies, Mrs. Voorhees only appeared in the original film, but she is scary to behold. One of the few female killers in the slasher genre (as you’d expect, there isn’t many), Mrs. Voorhees was driven insane by the drowning death of her son Jason at Camp Crystal Lake. Blaming the counselors who were busy having sex instead of watching them, Mrs. Voorhees killed them and any other person who tried to set up a campground in the place where her son died. Check her out and what happens to her in the original Friday the 13th.

JASON VOORHEES

Jason first appeared in the sequel to Friday the 13th, and he didn’t gain his iconic hockey mask until the third film, but he’s been a legend ever since, and his name has been synonymous with Friday the 13th ever since.

Jason Voorhees

Suffering from a condition that causes swelling all around his head and some mental retardation, Jason supposedly drowned at camp but survived and for reasons unknown hid in the woods until the day his mother died. He then seeks revenge, killing anyone who comes near Crystal Lake. Over the course of the films, he’s died, come back to life, bent sent to hell, sent into outer space, and fought with Freddy Kreuger, all without saying more than three words. He’s also hard to hurt, and even harder to kill, which makes him a very dangerous opponent. He’s spectacular in films 2-4, but not so great in the remake, whose only good quality was that it made Jason coming back after his mother died much easier to believe. Honestly, I’d love to remake the remake.

FREDDY KREUGER

Honestly, no discussion of slasher films is complete without Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kreuger and that’s because they are so iconic! Freddy Kreuger is the villain from the Nightmare on Elm Street films, and these films are unique in that Freddy is a kind of demon who kills people in their dreams. A former child-killer who was murdered by vigilante parents, Freddy came back to murder teenagers and kids in a nightmarish version of the power plant he died in. And since nobody can go without sleep, Freddy keeps coming after you, and you can’t stop him (or can you?). 

Freddy Kreuger in the original films

Instantly recognizable by his burned face, red-and-green striped sweater, fedora, and clawed hand, Freddy loves to kill and tell a wisecrack while he does it. Except for the remake, he was played every time by Robert Englund. In the remake he was played by Jackie Earle Haley, and given a makeover to look more like a real burn victim. Speaking of remake, it is probably my favorite of the films, and explains why Freddy kills the kids he kills, something never touched upon in the originals. The remake also stars Rooney Mara before her Dragon Tattoo fame, so it’s an added plus.

 LEATHERFACE

Texas Chainsaw Massacre may predate Halloween,but it’s still one of the legendary franchises in the genre. Famous for his mask, his cannibalistic family, and of course, his chainsaw, Leatherface is a mystery whose name and origins are only expounded upon in the remakes. Killing anyone besides his family who crosses his path, Leatherface has been described as a true monster and a crybaby

Leatherface in the remake

at the same time, but he still manages to put the scare in people. I seriously recommend the remake, which is way better than the original and had a more satisfying feeling (don’t ask me what that means, just watch and compare the two films if you’re curious). 

PINHEAD

Last but certainly not least, we have Pinhead from the Hellraiser films. One of a race of beings called the Cenobites, Pinhead has been in every film and has grown more and more into the antagonist role with each one. Cenobites all seem to wear leather, they live in an alternate dimension which can only be accessed by solving a demonic puzzle box, they have various sharp objects pounded into their faces and bodies, and their favorite activity involves stealing souls which they subject to sadomasochistic experiments that have no clear purpose. 

Pinhead was originally a human colonel in the British army, but after solving the puzzle box he became a Cenobite, and has tortured and killed many over the course of his career. Once or twice he has remembered his more human side, but that never lasts long and soon he’s back to his old habits of chaining people up and destroying their bodies and souls. 

Pinhead, in all his gruesomeness.

The series has been so popular that talks of remaking the original films have been going on for years. I recommend the first two films; they’re the only ones I’ve managed to get my hands on, but they are still wicked scary, and not just because of Pinhead, but because of some of the other characters in the films.  

CONCLUSIONS

Okay, so I’ve finished this post, and besides learning that I like to write shorter posts, I’ve also had a chance to possibly reccommend some new films to watch. If you see one of these films, let me know what you think of the killers. And if you have another killer that I didn’t add, let me know (just don’t say the Leprechaun; that movie sucked! How did it get five sequels?). That’s all for now, I’m off to watch the remake of Halloween. Thanks to storiesbywilliams for being the guiding light in the writing of this post. How you manage to write these posts each day is beyond me, it’s so different than writing a short story or a novel.

Review: Castle Season Finale (Plus Some Predictions)

Posted: May 8, 2012 in Predictions, Review
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(The following post contains some spoilers)

Okay, so last night I’m watching the final episode of Season 4 of Caslte and–finally!–Castle and Beckett hook up! It was what every fan of the show has been waiting for over the course of four years! Along with that, Beckett has resigned from the police force after another near-brush with death and identifying the man who shot her (who I’m pretty sure played Paul in Dollhouse). The tension was unbearable, the confession scene was heartbreaking, and when they finally hooked up, ABC couldn’t show us that much because the FCC would fine them. Other than that last part, a great episode. 4.7 out of 5, with 0.3 taken off for leaving us on a cliffhanger ending!

Alright, now onto my predictions  for the inevitable season 5 that will occur(I do so love to rant about what I think will happen in a show, I just rarely get to do it):

Now first, Beckett off the force. I know I should cover the relationship of Castle and Beckett, but I have to cover this because Beckett and Castle’s relationship was founded on solving crimes. Well, Beckett will probably go rogue for maybe 3 episodes at the most, but she’ll be allowed back on the force by Captain Gates, with a few conditions. How it’ll happen, I’ll leave that up to speculation.

Second, Castle and Beckett’s relationship: obviously fans might get bored since the romantic tension isn’t there anymore, but I say that it’s fun to see a fledgeling couple who work together figure things out. Caslte and Beckett will have to get used to each other in a whole new way, and they’ll have to learn to work together as lovers and not just partners. Also, expect at least one or two fights along the way.

Third, the cliffhanger: either that Mr. Smith we finally met for the first time at the end of the episode is going to live and find some way to hold the men who want to kill Beckett at bay, or he’ll die, but his information will still be hidden, so we won’t find out who’s trying to kill Beckett till the end of the season at least. Annoying, I know, but they have to hold the best stuff for last or people will lose interest.

Fourth, new episode ideas (I had such fun coming up with these ideas for new cases):

1. A writer friend of Castle’s turns to his help when murders from his book start happening in the real world (Castle could be annoyed that Beckett’s paying so much attention to this writer).

2. A hard-core anime fan gets murdered, leaving a trail of questions, especially since some stuff in his collection gets stolen (so many jokes, so many anime fans to potentially offend, but it’d be worth it).

3. A powerful lawyer gets killed right before a big case, setting off a political maelstrom that impedes the investigation.

4. A new law prevents Castle and Beckett from investigating someone’s murder, which could be racially motivated (I’d love to see the characters’ views on a case like Trayvon’s).

5. A murder brings up an old case for Captain Gates, putting Beckett, Castle, and Gates in close proximity for this case (bullets will metaphorically fly).

6. A series of seemingly unrelated murders are apparently related, as all the victims seem to have connections to Castle’s mother, including her ex-husband and a former rival actress. Could this also mean Castle’s life in danger?

7. A murder leads back to the government, and Castle’s supposed father.

8. A murder brings up an old case of Captain Gates, and puts Castle and Gates in closer proximity than the latter would like.

9. The final showdown with 3XK.

And for minor plot points: Alexis will be around less and have college problems; Castle’s mother will be around more; Gates may actually come to like Castle, especially if he saves her life; Esposito gets a new girlfriend (and gets razzed for it); and old flames for Beckett and Castle keep showing up.

Those are my predictions. Thanks for reading my rant, Castle shippers everywhere. Have a good one.

Review: Vanessa Bayer & John Mulaney

Posted: April 20, 2012 in Living and Life, Review
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Alright, so last night I went to Ohio State’s Union (yes, I’m naming my university now; since the article came up and my stats went through the roof, people have obviously seen the article and know the Pulse is an OSU publication, so what’s the point in hiding it now?) to see Vanessa Bayer and John Mulaney perform. Now Vanessa Bayer is a cast member of SNL, and you know how I love SNL, right? So I was super excited to see her live. John Mulaney I was less familiar with, but I found myself liking him very much, as you’ll soon see.

So, the show started out with a surprise opening act by (and I hope he’ll forgive me if I spell his name wrong) Shen Wang: a Chinese-American comedian from New York with a deep voice and the funniest drunk idiot stories about himself. He was pretty good, and he really connected to the audience, pointing out that our mascot was a poisonous tree nut. Smooth, man.

Then Vanessa Bayer came on, and boy was she awesome! She made fun of herself, of what she was like in college, she even showed us a video she’d made when she’d tried one of those dating video services. It was just great to see her live and hear her do her Miley impersonation. Huh-lare-eee-ose!

Vanessa Bayer, John Mulaney, and a very blurry Shen Wang. So sorry about the quality of the photo.

And finally, John Mulaney with his stories of black-outs, and his making-fun of whatever was on people’s T-shirts. This uy was great; he even told us about how he was confused for an Asian American woman as a child (strangely) and made fun of Law & Order: SVU, or more specifically, Ice-T’s character. Great job.

All in all, I gave the show–which I assume is playing in some other city right about now–a 5 out of 5. (And for those of you who think I don’t do any bad reviews, I just haven’t seen any bad shows or movies lately. But seriously, do you want me to recommend bad stuff or good stuff to you?)

 

Review: Stephen King’s The Stand (comic)

Posted: April 1, 2012 in Review
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The Stand, by Stephen King, adopted into a comic book form by Marvel Studios

I’ve always been a huge fan of Stephen King. You could say I want to inherit that throne someday, be a successor to the current King of Horror (that’s the goal at least; first stop, publishing a novel). And I’ve always loved The Stand. In addition to being one of King’s longest works, in my opinion it’s one of his best. You think you know the familiar old story: virus breaks out, kills off 99% of the population, the survivors struggle. However, Kiing weaves into it from very early on themes of war and the battle between good and evil, with survivors taking sides as a Cold-War-threatening-to-heat-up appears on the stage that is the now-dead USA. It’s an amazing story, and I recommend you all read it, especially the extended edition, which has all the stuff King was forced to cut out of the original edition due to budget costs. I also liked the TV miniseries adaptation, even if the ending was very different from the novel. The cast was phenomenal, especially the guy who played the villain Randall Flagg. So when I heard that Marvel was making a comic book version, I scooped it up without hesitation. And I was not disappointed: combining lines from the actual text with art and action, the comic book version was thrilling, especially its more dark, world-ending scenes filled with corpses and broken buildings. I thought the artwork made some of the character’s hairstyles look a little too frizzy for my tastes, but I still very much enjoyed it. It’s too bad they couldn’t put more of the original story into the comic book, but I’m sure that they had only a few hundred pages to work with and had to be choosy. Either way, I think they did a good job of adapting an amazing story. After reading the final volume today, I had to write a review of it. I give this work, a 4.6 out of 10. Good job Marvel, now how about an adaptation of It? Just leave out that one scene where the characters make love in the sewers and I’m sure we’ll be fine.

Review: The Hunger Games Film

Posted: March 23, 2012 in Review
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Movie poster for "The Hunger Games", in theaters now.

I’m going to state this at the beginning of this post, I’ve never read The Hunger Games. Not even a page. It’s the same dilemma I had with The Help; you try to get the books but the reserve list is incredibly long, you can’t go out and buy it because you have a student budget and the oppurtunity to see the movie is right in front of you!

Moving on…

Alright, I went in knowing only that a teenage girl decides to participate in a battle-to-the-death reality-TV survival game in order to spare her sister, teams up with a boy from her town in order to gain the sympathy vote by pretending to be lovers even though she likes someone back home, and that the novels were very distopic in nature.

Well, I ended up liking the film. In fact, I loved it! Oh boy, was it superbly made! The special effects were awesome, the drama and terror felt so real, and the actors really brought the characters to life. A high-five to Josh Hutcherson as Peeta Mellark; he really touched us all as a simple country boy with a heart of gold.

I’d also like to commend the director, Gary Ross, for his excellent work at building suspense: the scene where the mutant bulldogs show up, it felt like I was watching one of the better Friday the 13ths; building suspense, a lull where you don’t feel so scared anymore, and then wham! it jumps out and gets you! Even if you know the tactic they’re using to get you, it’s still quite the shock.

And finally, I’d like to commend the costume designers: the way you dressed up the denizens of the capital versus those in the districts? My God, even if their clothes are not as nice, I’d rather live in a district than dress like the people in the capital. Their fashion was so obscene to me I nearly retched in disgust.

My rating for this movie, a 5 out of 5, for getting a guy who knew next to little about the story, seriously considering getting the books and forget the reserve list.

Now if only the girl next to me would’ve not shushed me everytime I reacted to something when she was gabbing to the person next to her the whole film, that’d be great.

Review: Jonah Hill on Saturday Night Live

Posted: March 11, 2012 in Review
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As last week I wrote a rather scathing review of Lindsay Lohan’s performance on SNL, I thought I’d follow up with Jonah Hill’s performance on last night’s episode. I’m happy to say, the man did not disappoint. Indeed, he fulfilled all my expectations and then some. From his hilarious impression of an annoying, fast-talking six-year-old wise guy to his performance of a Coolio song near the end of the show, he was hitting all the right notes. Heck, he even made the J-Pop sketch look good when he played a samurai who was out of breath and holding his sword wrong, and as a fan of manga and anime I usually get incensed when they do the J-Pop sketch.

Other highlights include the Weekend Update, featuring guest appearances by Kristen Wiig as Paula Deen, Andy Sandberg trying on the Sarah Palin persona because of an apparently sick Tina Fey, and Bill Hader as Stefon (and if SNL has any shippers obsessed with the Seth Meyers/Stefon relationship, I highly reccommend they watch this episode!).

All told, a very good show, even if the musical guests weren’t my type of music. I give this week’s episode, a 5 out of 5 (I’d feel guilty just taking off points for the musical guest).

Review: Lindsay Lohan on Saturday Night Live

Posted: March 4, 2012 in Review
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I love Saturday Night Live. Every time there’s a new episodes, you can know that’s how I spend my Saturday nights. I love that show…when they’re funny. Sometimes they miss the mark on that. Last night on SNL, well…first, I was really surprised that Lindsay Lohan, who somehow got to be host last night, was not drunk or high or anything else while on stage. It’s almost disappointing. There were funny moments though, such as the Mysterious Phone Calls skit, the Real Housewives of Disney skit (by the way, none of those shows have real housewives), and of course, the Weekend Update.

However on other skits it could be better. The skit that parodied 50’s rebel films just seemed like Fred Armisen getting hit by cars repeatedly while wearing drag, and the MacIntosh skit–usually funny as hell–was undermined by Lohan’s inability to show emotion. And the early morning radio skit just didn’t reach my funny bone.

Still, the show’s funny parts are always well worth it. On a scale of 1 to 5, I give this episode a 3.4.

Tune in next week, when Jonah Hill of Superbad fame hosts, with musical guest the Shins (I have no idea who they are either).

Review: Tangled

Posted: February 14, 2012 in Review
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Well, for all you Valentine’s Day lovers, here’s a post about a heartwarming story: Disney’s 50th animated feature film (no seriously, it is their 50th. I know, I thought it’d be higher than that!),  Tangled. Now I know I’m more of a traditional animated-by-hand kind of guy, I don’t know any anime nut who isn’t, but I still thought it was a nice story, even though the scene where the ruffians in the oddly-named tavern sing a honky-tonk song seemed a little strange. Maybe I’m just too used to the way ruffians in a bar usually act, with fists and whatever.

Anyway, I was watching the film because it’s Valentine’s Day this week and all week my residence hall is doing Valentine’s-related activitiies. Tonight was movie night, and because no normal guy would want to watch your regular collection of chick flicks like The Notebook or Dear John, the activity board chose the movie being reviewed. I was a little skeptical about the film, for my own reasons, but my sisters loved it, so I thought I’d give it a try. Turns out, I was actually touched, and even was held in suspense near the end. Disney, you did yourself a fine job with this film.

Now I’d like to introduce the rating system that I’ll be using from now on when I do reviews. On a scale of 1 to 5, I give Tangled a 4.5.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

Review: Captain America (film)

Posted: November 3, 2011 in Review
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I just had my last midterm of the quarter today, so I though I’d celebrate by going to see a free movie at the Union this evening (for those of you who don’t know, the Union is the place where the Student Government, several different important offices, and some classes are housed, as well as social events and club meetings). This week they were showing Captain America. I had virtually no knowledge of Captain America, except that he fought Nazis and that he was somehow supposed to be an Avenger in the 21st century (oh, he was cryonically frozen in the Norwegian ice? Oh, that makes perfect sense–not!). I didn’t even know that the villain’s organization was the same name as my fictional gang (I’d swear in court on that!). So, I was wondering how my first impressions would go.

Well, the movie lived up to its hype: the characters were believable and the actors that played them brought the right emotions to the screen. The villains were menacing enough (though that salute of theirs is a little ridiculous), and the scenes had the right emotion and drama. Special shout-outs to Chris Evans as Captain America/Steve Rogers, the latter person a very relatable character, Hugo Weaving for doing an amazing job as a villain again, this time as the Red Skull, and Tommy Lee Jones as the irrascible Colonel Phillips.

Just one complaint: the villain’s weapon of choice was lasers.

Lasers. God, you had to use the oldest futuristic weapon in sci-fi technology.

Even worse, they were blue lasers. And not just any shade of blue, they were fairy-princess blue! Hard to take those battle scenes seriously when you’re about to be taken out by Cinderella’s fairy godmother. I’m laughing just typing about it.

Review: Footloose

Posted: October 14, 2011 in Review
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Many people were doubting that Paramount could really remake such an iconic 80’s film as Footloose and expect it to be any good with audiences. To those naysayers, I say: Go see the movie, ’cause you are missing out! The film takes a lot of liberties in order to make the remake appealing to GenX audiences, but instead of detracting from the film, it makes it better, something you can imagine happening even today. There’s no one moment where Rev. Shaw realizes that things need to change (like the book-burning scene in the original 1984 movie), but I think that this movie almost doesn’t need it. The modern music helps draw audiences in, and the more ethnically diverse cast members help solidify the film.

You can actually believe this film could happen somewhere in Georgia.
Just two comments I’d like to make before I’m done: one is that Ariel (Julianne Hough) looks and sounds like Miley Cyrus without the salvia, and Ren’s (Kenny Wormald) Boston accent is hard to find at times. Still, both could have some great careers in film, especially Wormald. Also, am I the only one who sees parallels between Bomont and the Prohibition? I keep wondering why they don’t put Prohibition in Ren’s argument! It’s a valid point about a religiously-motivated law that fails miserably and needed to be taken down.

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