It’s Friday, so it’s time for #FirstLineFriday. This is something that started out on an author’s group on Facebook I belong to and that I’m trying to start as a trend among other writers elsewhere. What you do is on Friday you post the first one or two lines of a published story, work in progress, potential story, or just something you picked right out of the air. It’s a lot of fun coming up with what to write.

This week’s selection is from what I hope will be the second draft of a story I worked on earlier this year. Still trying to figure out how exactly I’m going to edit it but I have some ideas. Enjoy:

“…and in New Orleans, a woman gunned down by police may be the person responsible for the murders of several dangerous criminals. Police say the DNA of the suspect, who at this time has not been identified, matches that found at several other crime scenes of involving the deaths of people convicted or suspected of murder, rape, arson, or drug trafficking, all who died under mysterious circumstances.”

As you can probably tell, this is the beginning of a news report and would be much longer in the opening paragraph. But what did you think? Errors? Questions? Reviews? Let me know.

And if you haven’t, check out the Big Birthday Sale going on through Sunday. All Rami Ungar titles are marked down or free of charge at Amazon or Smashwords. Head on over to those sites to get a good book at a great price.

Have a nice day!

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Comments
  1. Adan Ramie says:

    This could be describing the main character of my novel-in-progress, Maladaptation! I’m intrigued with how the characters will be similar, and how they’ll differ.

  2. bfostrickson says:

    It’s intriguing, Rami! But I would get rid of the “of” between “scenes” and “involving”, unless I am reading it incorrectly. You could also throw in some em dashes for good measure to break it up a bit more.

    Is this the opening piece, or is there more before it? It does make me want to know more, especially about the scene you are setting. It leaves a lot of room for a great first page.

    • It’s the opening, part of a news report that one of the characters is listening to in the car. Or it might be, it’s for a second draft of a story and I haven’t decided if this is the change I want to go for with this story. We’ll see when I get around to writing it.

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