“This book is perfect for your conservative relatives. Especially at Thanksgiving.” This is the description I got of Wake Up and Open Your Eyes by Clay McLeod Chapman, a satirical horror novel about a demonic apocalypse. With a description like that, I was intrigued. And this past Thanksgiving, I started the audio book.
To which I say, “Woo-boy? What did I get myself into?”
Wake Up and Open Your Eyes starts with Noah Fairchild, who goes from his home in Brooklyn to check on his estranged parents after his mother leaves a strange, conspiracy-filled message in his voicemail and then doesn’t pick up. When he gets down there, he finds his parents seemingly brainwashed into dementia by their conservative news shows. However, it’s actually the beginning of the apocalypse. And the demons are possessing people through their devices. And what they choose to consume through their devices.
As I said, this is a satirical horror novel, so there are plenty of funny moments that made me laugh out loud. One of the main sources of possession is a parody of Fox News, and it’s so thinly disguised, you can tell immediately which anchor is getting made fun of. In the final third of the novel, the story is actually narrated by a fictional version of a real life news anchor, only he’s a hallucination living in a character’s head to help them process these events!* And even in the apocalypse, people are posting videos to YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, as if they need to share their most intimate moments to make them real.
However, this is a horror novel, and it gets horrifying! The demon-possessed do some seriously fucked up shit when they take over people, and a lot of it is described in excruciating detail. The amount of body horror and gross out elements even borders on extreme horror, so it can be uncomfortable at times (I just barely tolerated it).
Still, it is hard to put down. While at first I could only listen to it in small doses, over time I got so hooked, I listened whenever I could. And the ending, while some may hate it, is definitely quite fitting for such a bleak horror novel.
On a scale of 1 to 5, I’m giving Wake Up and Open Your Eyes by Clay McLeod Chapman a 4.5. It’s bleak, horrifying, and pokes plenty of fun at a nation/world/species that is willing to give up its thinking faculties and let a talking head on a screen do the thinking for you (not just conservatives; liberals and everyone else, too). If you have a strong stomach and are at all interested, give it a read. You may never be able to look at cable news, wellness gurus, or even “Baby Shark” the same ever again, but it might just be worth it.
*And can I say, I find it so bold to put real, living figures in your stories, using their real names? I’ve read a few stories like this, such as Shoeless Joe featuring JD Salinger, or a story by Jonathan Maberry where Kevin Hart and Kelly Clarkson, among others, make an appearance. And ever time, I marvel. I know it’s kind of allowed if they’re a public figure and it’s either parody or their fictional selves are acting in a way that would correlate with their real selves. But still, it’s not something I would consider doing (especially when I put real figures in my stories as a form of punishment for real life bad acts). I would be too worried about getting sued!
Rami Ungar The Writer 
It sounds like a riot of a book. I have a surprisingly tough stomach, so I can handle extreme scenes, but I have to admit the language that goes along with those sorts of scenes/characters gets to me.
I agree with you–I think it’s wise to play it safe and not include real-life people unless they’re mentioned in passing.
If anyone can handle it, I’m sure you can, Priscilla. After all, you handled my more gory and violent stories with ease!
I’m curious if the actual news anchor knows he’s a character? It would be hilarious to see him find out, read the book, and see what his character got up to.