Archive for the ‘Novel’ Category

Reborn City: Halfway on the Edits

Posted: October 11, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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I just finished editing chapter twelve of Reborn City, officially putting me halfway through the editing process before I hand it off to someone to look at. Most of the chapters have already had three or four drafts, but as I look over each and every chapter, I see pieces that could be polished a little, where the phrasing is a little awkward or where something doesn’t make sense. It’s been something fixing these over, but I’ve been able to make some improvements and I’m seeing the story I started in high school slowly becoming better and better.

Speaking of which, Reborn City was written from my sophomore year to my senior year of high school (I took long breaks as necessary for school work, short story projects, a summer in Israel, and sometimes when I was just too exhausted to write and just wanted to enjoy someone else’s work for a change). I can still see some of my writing style from when I was in high school in the words I wrote then, and it’s pretty different from my current voice. I guess you can attribute that to the fact that I’ve gotten some life experience, so of course my voice changed a bit.

But anyway, I’m happy with the progress I’ve made. I’m still not sure when Reborn City will be available for download as an e-book yet,  but I hope it’ll be by mid-March by next year, if I can get these edits done quickly and I can get my publishing press set up without too much trouble.

I’ll let you guys know when chapters 13-23 and the epilogue are edited. Stay tuned for more!

The Snake Outline Reborn

Posted: October 4, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Creepy, right? It looks like it might come off the drawing.

Did anyone else see the joke in that title? Anyone? Bueller?

Alright, you guys are more concerned about what this latest post is about. I’ll tell you: I finished redoing the outline of Snake, with new scenes and even a few new characters. I may have increased the parts of the story to eight (including the prologue and epilogue), but the chapter count is down to a little over a hundred, and let me tell you, I like this new version!

For one thing, everything’s much more exciting now. For one thing, the climax of the story is much more exciting, bringing the Snake, his allies, the mafia family the Snake is hunting, and the police and FBI together in one big fight! And at the end, the Snake confronts the boss of the mafia family he’s been up against this whole time! It’s like The Dark Knight meets the end of Daredevil in some respects, at least in my opinion, but I still think it’ll be exciting to read and visualize in your head.

I also did some work on the characters, their actions and their motivations, and believe me, it was worth it. In the first outline, some of the things the characters did might’ve made you go, “huh? What the heck just happened? Why’d they do that? I wouldn’t do that if I were in that situation.” So I tried to make things more believable. I realize that I need to place less emphasis on plot and more on what drives the characters, so I’l have to work on that from now on.

So now that the new outline is done, what next? Well as much as it pains me, I will be taking a break from writing Snake to finally get to work on publishing Reborn City. It’s something I’m looking forward to, and when you guys read it, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Just be patient on the sequel, because I’ll have to finish Snake first and I don’t like doing two projects at once that way.

All for now, stick around for updates on both Snake, Reborn City, and anything else I feel like posting about (including a review of Daniel Craig on SNL, which will probably be my last SNL review for a little while). Post on you later!

Snake: Onto The Outline Edits

Posted: October 2, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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I love this image, it is so unique and reminds me of an Algerian love knot.

Well as you know, I’ve been wanting to do some change-ups to my serial killer novel Snake, including changing a big part of the outline. So I went over what I’d already written, edited the heck out of the chapters to make them a better read, and just now I finished chapter 34, which is the last chapter of Part II of the novel. I did plenty of cutting, taking out an entire chunk of the opening of the novel (among other things), adding some important details and bits of action that I forgot to add to certain scenes, and even changing one of the characters and his motivations in order to make more sense not only to the reader, but to myself as well.

The strange thing though, is that while I took out a lot of unecessary stuff so that some chapters got much shorter in terms of pages and word counts, others got much longer. Remember how in one post I listed all the pages and words from the Prologue all the way to the end of Part II as 138 pages and 25,346 words? After the edits, it came out to 148 pages and 37,082 words. Talk about an increase, right?

So while I’ve done that, I still have some more to do. I’m going to edit the outline to make the story more exciting, and then I’m going to get to work getting my other novel, Reborn City, out to the public in a timely manner. So you know with all this, a job, and college, I’m a very busy boy. But hey, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Look out for my next post on Snake, I’ll be giving a few clues as to what’s changed with the story and then I’ll get to work on Reborn City. Later.

The Biggest News I’ve Ever Written About On This Blog

Posted: September 30, 2012 in Living and Life, Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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The Jewish New Year recently came to pass. And with new years in any culture, we wish to make changes for the coming year so that hopefully, this year will be a good one. Well, I’ve decided to make a change.

As you well know, I’ve been trying the traditional publishing route for some time now (write and publish a bunch of short stories; write a novel; get an agent who can refer you to the best publishers; company publishes your novel). This process has been the norm for several years, but it does have its flaws: for instance, the big publishing companies are ruled by the need to make money, so they only publish work that they feel could be profitable, which can lead to numerous rejections for authors whose work doesn’t meet one criteria or another. Not only that, but the companies themselves have a lot of control over the author’s work, having the author edit it fifty different ways so that it can be more commercial or more profitable or whatever. All so that the author can reach the highest number of people possible.

But, self-publishing is on the rise, and people who have been reading Rami Ungar the Writer for some time are probably aware that I’ve been toying with the idea of self-publishing. Self-publishing allows an author to have more control over his or her work, recieve more profits from sales, and not be obligated by big corporate contracts. The pitfalls include that most self-publishers don’t make a lot of money off of self-publishing, and when they do it’s usually because a traditional publisher has made some sort of deal for their novel (this is what happened with Fifty Shades of Grey). Self-published authors also have to do most of their own advertising, and with the power of the Internet, anyone can upload anything, even if the work looks like a kindergartener wrote it.

But still, self-publishing is becoming more and more popular with every single day among writers, and now it’s got a new adherent. That’s right: I, Rami Ungar, have decided to self-publish, and since one of my classes has given me more confidence with computers, I’ll be doing it without the help of a service, instead compiling the whole thing myself and putting out my work as e-books (at least until I have the money and knowledge to do my own paperback).

My first self-published work will be my science fiction novel Reborn City, which I hope to have out next year at some point. I plan to take one more look at it for editing purposes, have someone else look at it afterwards (probably someone really into science fiction) and then, based on that person’s suggestions, edit again. After that I’ll set up my own independent press, one that’ll be dedicated to horror, thriller, science fiction, and fantasy, and which will allow me to have the most control over my work. It’ll be like how Akon has his own label, Kon Live and Konvict Muzik, but uses big labels like Universal to distribute his work (in my case, the Universal will be Amazon and B&N and Smashwords and such). I won’t say what I’ll name my press, but I do have a name for it, which I’ll reveal to you after I get the necessary legal paperwork out of the way to set it up. That, and a website and possibly a Facebook profile (yes, I’m considering using Facebook to get my work out there, please don’t make a big deal out of it).

I will then get a cover made for Reborn City, format the whole darn thing for an e-book, get RC copyrighted (and ISBN-ed; I’m not sure if one of those are necessary exactly but it’d be good to check), and on a release date that I will choose once I’ve formatted RC into an e-book, I will let the whole world read my work for a mere $2.99 per download.

I hope all of you will show me your support in this endeavor, and possibly consider reading RC when it comes out and letting your friends know about it. If you have any tips on how to do all this, please let me know, as your feedback is always helpful to me.

I’ll let you know when my new press is up-and-running, and when Reborn City will be released. Thanks for reading, and I hope you’re as excited as I am!

Getting Back Into Snake

Posted: September 24, 2012 in ideas, Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Remember when I said that after I finished that short story for class, I would jump right back into the exploits of my mafia-hunting serial killer the Snake? Well, it took me a day or so to get around to the first chapter (I had classes and homework, I wanted a chance to sit down and read a couple graphic novels, and then there was that errand downtown I had to run today, but why am I boring you with that?). I took a look at the opening I’d written and I was like, “You know, this sounded so cool when I first wrote it, but now it just seems kind of…extaneous and unnecessary.” So I cut out and rewrote the opening…and a bunch of other stuff. It was like I was taking the gristle off a slab of meat.

No, wait. It was like I was taking the fat out of fresh milk. Not as elegant a metaphor, but it’s a bit more original, and I give you all permission to use it after I’ve just used it.

So now on to the rest of the chapters, all thirty-three of them. I plan on doing some more backstory on some of the more major characters, plus making the Snake much more empaphetic, because honestly, when we finally meet him face-to-face (sort of; he wears a mask) in chapters three and four, he’s more sinister and scary, and not at all the kind of guy you want to root for. I also want to include the media’s portrayal of the Snake, make him like some sort of symbol for what the police could be doing with a nearly untouchable organized crime family, because if there’s one thing that can rile law enforcement up, it’s when journalists poke at police work (no offense meant for journalists who actually cover police stories and criticize them for whatever they may or may not have done).

All this in addition to the usual stuff that comes with editing. After that I’ll get into the outline and see what I can fix up. Maybe I’ll include some brushes with death and a new ending where the Snake not only faces off with the mafia family he’s sworn to destroy, but with the police officer and FBI profiler who’ve sworn to bring him in. There will be blood, betrayal, some literally deadly fights, love, character growth, and possibly an explosion or two.

I’ll also add in chapters where we see the underworld social order changing, because when you have a serial killer who’s killing your group’s members and getting away with it, you know others, both mafia and possibly otherwise, will try it too.

We’ll see what we get, but from the description I’ve just given, and the outline I’ve already written, it’s looking like a whole new novel. Hopefully it’ll be a better one too.

Making An E-Book Doesn’t Sound So Hard Now

Posted: September 19, 2012 in Living and Life, Novel, Reflections, Writing
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I’ve always considered myself someone who’s not very good with computers beyond the Internet, Microsoft Word, Powerpoint, and the basic Excel spreadsheet. However, today in class, I realized that might not really be the case:

In my documentary class, we’re making documentaries in various forms on the Macs in our classroom. What are those documentaries about, you might be asking yourself? Well, they’re about us, each and every one of us in the class, and how we go about creating various works of literary greatness. I’ve already completed one project, using GarageBand to make an audio essay, and got an A on that. The project we’re working on now is a short video that we will create using Zoom cameras and iMovie, and to prepare we’re learning all the ins and outs of iMovie by creating short practice videos.

Now, normally I’m a little leery about using new programs and I usually need someone to hold my hand throughout most of the learning process. However today I was able to create a short, two-minute video commemorating the one-year anniversary of the Occupy protests with an old film clip of 1950s fashionable wear, several pictures of the Occupy protests, and a song by Bing Cosby. It wasn’t half-bad, and I was able to use a few special effects we hadn’t covered yet in class because I had the gall to check out the homework for today before class. Let me tell you, the sense of pride I felt by the end of the class was immense, and I could not wait to make the short film about my writing process (expect it to have a certain factor of creepy).

So this got me thinking. When I do consider going the self-publishing route (something I consider a lot, especially after I hear back from an agent or publisher saying they’re not interested in my work), I usually think the best way to get started would be by creating an e-book. And when I think of that, I usually consider using a service to create the e-book, because I’m not exactly a Bill Gates or Steve Jobs when it comes to technology.

But today I was able to use iMovie, and before that GarageBand, something that before the start of the semester I thought impossible for me. If I can learn to use those programs, then what’s to stop me from making the e-book myself on my laptop or on a school Mac and then upload it onto Amazon for a cheap $2.99 download price tag? Not only would it probably be cheaper and give me more control over my work, but it would show how serious I am about being a writer, that I would learn to use scary programs and ask for help with them just to get my work out there.

So if I do go the self-publishing route with my novels, you can expect that I’l try to do all the work myself in making the e-book (a regular book is a whole other story though, and much more expensive, so let me think on it before I come to any conclusions or decisions). And if you have any tips, let me know. I’d love your advice and help.

Snake: Part II Done

Posted: September 17, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
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Creepy Mayan snake god gobbling someone up. I have a feeling my character would find some connection to this image.

Well, I finally did it! I finished Part II of Snake, though truthfully it’s coming about four days later than I expected.

Part II deals a lot not only with the main character’s quest for revenge, but also with the circumstances that caused him to take up serial killing. It totaled about twenty-one chapters, eighty-six pages, and twenty-two thousand and thirty-three words. Add that to the prologue and Part I, and you have a total of thirty-four chapters, one-hundred and thirty-eight pages, and twenty-five thousand, three-hundred forty-six words for the rough draft of Snake. Several times chapters were added together and split in two in order to keep the story flowing and the tension high. I have to say, at certain points it was an arduous process writing out this section of the novel.

Now that I’ve got Part II done, I’m going to wait a little while before I start Part III, which is probably the longest of the parts in Snake, take some time to finish a short story and edit a couple more. I also plan on going over the outline of Snake and see what I can do to make the plot more exciting, because as it is it’s a good story, but I want to make it great. I plan on doing some more character development with the Snake and some of the people close to him, which will probably mean going back to previous chapters and doing a few additions. I also plan to add some scenes showing the fallout of what happens when a serial killer goes after a mafia family and not only evades the family but the police itself. And lastly, I want to change the climax, see if I can change the setting so that not only does the Snake face off against the mafia, he faces off with the police too, and does it in front of everyone.

Sounds more exciting that way, anyway.

I’ll let you know when I begin Part III. Wish me luck.

Translating “Snake” Into Russian

Posted: September 13, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Chinese symbol for “snake” surrounded by a snake. Pretty cool, huh?

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve written about the Snake. Like, several weeks, at least.

Oh, for thsoe of you who don’t know, I’m working on two novels. One, a science fiction novel titled Reborn City, I’m trying to market to publishers write now. The other, a serial killer thriller called Snake, is in the middle of its first draft. Currently I’m working on chapter thirty-three of Snake, which isn’t very far in considering thrillers are notorious for having many chapters with less than ten pages per chapter.

One of the things I’m doing for Snake is that I’m also working on some Russian transliteration, as my main character speaks Russian throughout the novel. I’m working with one of my university’s Russian professors on this (and if he’s reading this, thank you so very much for your help), and he’s been a big help. It’s not always easy, though: according to my professor, getting phrases and words I’d normally use in English translated and then transliterated into Russian can be difficult, as I not only have to get across the meaning, but the intention as well. It’s like getting down on one knee and saying “I love you, will you marry me?” to a foreign girl in her native language, but you actually end up saying “love marry you” or “marriage me you” instead. The effect’s just lost.

Still, I think a pretty good job’s been done, and every bit of Russian up to chapter thirty-two has been transliterated. Hopefully when I see my professor again, I’ll have some easier phrases to translate. We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we? I know where I want to go with this story, but how I’m getting there and what happens in the meantime is still up in the air in some ways.

All for now. Talk to you later.

Snake Ch. 21

Posted: August 16, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Scary Stuff, Writing
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Oroboros, or the snake that eats its own tail, a symbol for immortality. Has no bearing on this story, but it’s still darn cool. And look, it spins!

You know how you’re not supposed to hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers because you might encounter a crazy person or a dangerous runaway convict doing so? You also know how in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre they had a scene that illustrated very well why you shouldn’t pick up hitchhikers or hitchhike yourself?

I like to comapre this chapter to everything in the previous paragraph, except instead of hitchhikers it’s pulling over to help a motorist in distress. Roman Veretti, the latest member of the Camerlengo Mafia group to become the object of the Snake’s desire to kill, is on the road when he sees a guy on the side of the road. What happens next may make you consider never helping a motorist ever again (and if you knew what happened to the guy, you wouldn’t want to help any motorist even if it was your twin brother!).

Oh, I’m also considering adding a few scenes where the Camerlengo family has to deal with the instability caused by the Snake’s murders: other families are taking territory and killing members of the Camerlengos. But I guess that’s the fallout when a serial killer shows just how easily a formerly-invincible family becomes not-so-invincible. The only problem though is placement: where best do these chapters go if I add them? Probably after Roman Veretti meets his fate; that’s when the Snake shows just how hard he is to stop.

Well, I’ve rambled on long enough. Here’s Chapter 21 as promised; enjoy and please do not hesitate to tell me what you think.

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Roman Veretti was whistling as he turned off the main road and onto the scenic route to Connecticut. The sun was shining, the view was beautiful, the minivan was warm and toasty, the XM radio was playing some of Roman’s favorite jazz and big band songs, “A Gal in Kalamazoo” and “What a Wonderful World”, among others, and there were no other cars on this secret route Roman loved so much.

Best of all, taking the scenic route meant another hour until Roman got to Connecticut, a place Roman wouldn’t have even considered visiting if his wife hadn’t insisted they go and visit her parents that weekend. It wasn’t as if they were bad people—Roman thought that Lizzy’s father was a hilarious storyteller and philosopher—but the house smelled heavily of cleaning products, and Lizzy’s mother always found some way or another to suggest that Roman was a poor choice of husband for her daughter and that Lizzy could do better without actually coming out and saying it. In truth, Roman preferred making sure the prostitutes under his watch made enough money for him rather than spending an entire weekend smelling dish soap and hearing criticisms about his paycheck.

 Just wait till I get off pimp duty and get into a real position in the family. Roman thought, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel as he listened to the music. Mr. Camerlengo’s getting to be real fond of me, and I’m sure that once this whole serial killer thing blows over, I’ll be able to get a job with money enough to shut up that old bat.

Up ahead on the road Roman noticed a car pulled over, its hood up and the lights blinking. The driver was waving his arms in the air, trying to signal Roman as he approached. For a moment Roman considered driving on, but the possibility a few more minutes away from Lizzy’s mother excited him enough that he turned on his turn signal and pulled over to the side of the road next to the car. The driver of the car ran up to Roman as Roman turned off the engine and stepped out of the minivan.

“You saved me!” said the driver, a young man who looked unremarkable save for a pair of brilliant blue eyes. “I can’t tell what’s up with my car and my cell has no signal. Do you think you can help me?”

“Let me see the car.” said Roman. “My dad was a mechanic, so I used to help him out all the time.”

“Well, isn’t that a stroke of luck!” said the driver. “She’s right over there. I figured that son of a bitch was conning me when he sold me this piece of crap.”

“We’ll see about that.” said Roman, sidling on over to the open hood. Peeking in, he examined the engine. To Roman’s confusion, the engine looked brand-new, and nothing he could see indicated any maintenance issues or repair needs.

“I don’t see any problems with the engine.” said Roman, ducking his head out from under the hood. “What’d you say was wrong with it—?”

WHAM!

There was a bright flash of light and Roman felt a sharp pain in the side of his head. He staggered, his hand pressed to his temple, before he staggered and fell over. The last thing he saw was the driver putting on a strange-looking mask before Roman closed his eyes and the world fell away.

Snake Ch. 20

Posted: August 15, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Well, I finished chapter twenty of Snake, and let me tell you, it was different writing this chapter than previous chapters. For one thing, I had started writing the chapter with a scene of Angela Murtz, my forensic psychologist/federal investigator (you might remember her from a previous post in which she was included in an exerpt) interviews the mistress of the latest victim, Thomas Luiso.

I had this whole interview set up, created how Murtz gained the woman’s trust, and even had an emotional revelation that Mr. Luiso wasn’t all his mistress thought he was. But as I was writing that, I thought to myself, Hey wait a minute, what exactly does this add to the story? I can some up all this information that’s needed in a few words, and can have another character fill Murtz in. So I went back and deleted the whole interview and instead skipped ahead to where Murtz goes upstairs with her partner, Blake Harnist, to check out Luiso’s body. If you ask me, I made the right decision; the chapter looks better without the interview with Murtz and Luiso’s mistress.

I also realized that in the chapters featuring Murtz and Harnist, four in total, three have been from Murtz’s POV, while only 1 has been from Harnist’s POV. I think I’ll change that for the next chapter featuring the duo and have the reader see things from Harnist’s POV. It only seems fair, since the characters are partners and work together to stop the Snake.

Now, I wasn’t able to do a Lucky 7 meme, because page 77 of the story only has 5 lines on it. However, I’m pretty sure the next chapter, which has the Snake himself in it, doesn’t reveal too much about the character, so I’ll include as much of that as I can. Hope you like that.

See you next post.

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