Archive for the ‘Review’ Category

Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D

Posted: January 6, 2013 in Review, Scary Stuff
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Ladies and gentlemen, Leatherface is back and he’s better than ever!

An alternative title to this film could be Leatherface’s Revenge: What You Reap Is What You Sow.

If you ask me, this is probably the best TCM movie ever made, and considering about 4 or 5 of the others are terrible, that’s saying something. But I guess that means the creators of the film were successful; according to Entertainment Weekly, producer Carl Mazzacone said that he wanted to do with TCM what he did with the Saw movies, which probably means giving the studio enough reasons to keep making sequels and putting them in theaters instead of Direct-to-DVD crap films. I’m not sure how they’ll be able to top this film, but I’ll believe in them.

The plot follows Heather Miller (the sultry-in-a-punk-rock-way Alexandra Daddarino) as she finds out she was adopted and has a now-deceased grandmother who left her a really nice estate. Unfortunately, that estate includes her cousin Leatherface (played by Dan Yeager) who finally has a name: Jedediah “Jed” Sawyer. As her friends and boyfriend (Trey Songz in his first film role) are killed and Heather becomes terrified, Heather starts to realize her own connections to the Sawyer family, and transforms dramatically because of it.

This reimagining of the franchise, which is meant to be a sequel to the original 1974 film, is definitely a revenge story that brings on the blood and gore and scares. Even when we know what’s going to happen right before it does, it’s still awesome to see it unfold on the big screen in 3D. John Luessenhop does a fabulous job directing, while Debra Sullivan, Adam Marcus, and Kirsten Ems deserve commendation for the script. Dan Yeager is terrifying donning the literal face-mask of Leatherface, and Paul Rae does a fantastic job as antagonist Mayor Burt Hartman. As for Thom Barry’s Sheriff Hooper (the last name’s definitely a reference to the director of the original film), I’d definitely invite that guy to dinner. I’d also like to note that those who think a black sheriff in 1974 is a little too soon after the Civil Rights Act, apparently the first black sheriff in Texas was elected in 1869.

Boys, this film is frightening, so definitely bring your girlfriends along with you. Also, stick around after the credits for what I’d like to call “a joke after the horror show”.

For an excellent reboot of one of the earliest slashers ever made and for some great acting and scares, I give this film the great distinction of a 5 out of 5. Yes, that high and this film deserves it.

Review: Rise of the Guardians

Posted: November 24, 2012 in Review
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Theatrical release poster.

aka Jack Frost Joins The Guardians, Which By This Point Is Already A Major League of Childhood Mascots Reworked For This Movie.

At first I didn’t think I’d want to see this movie. It has, among other things, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, which are not exactly Jewish, and it’s also a children’s film. But the commercials made it look fun, so I went to see it…in 3D. Turns out, it’s pretty good. The movie follows Jack Frost, who up until I saw this movie I didn’t think much about, as he is chosen to become a Guardian, a mythical warrior chosen to protect the children of Earth, as the Guardians go up against the boogeyman, Pitch Black, who wants to engulf the world in nightmares created by corrupting the sand of the Sandman. Jack joins up, at first only to get his memories, which Pitch has somehow stolen, but later because he really wants to help kids.

Cue the “awwww”.

Awwwww.

Moving on…

Okay, this film shows how far computer animation has come, and when you see it in 3D, it’s just magical. The characters, for all their flatness and lack of character development except for Jack, are really fun to watch, whether they’re preparing for their holidays or fighting bad guys or fighting with each other. The nightmares and the fight scenes might be a little much for younger viewers (heck, I was a little scared), but there will be moments that make you want to cry a little. I know my eyes got a little wet. And except for the parts where the characters veer off from fighting Pitch to make sure Easter is safe or the Tooth Fairy gets her duties done, it’s a pretty solid story.

All in all, I give this movie a 4.2 out of 5 for great animation, scaring me with the nightmare creatures, and for a moral/theme that will make your heart melt. Kudos to the filmmakers.

However, I must warn you that if you are a die-hard Christian who doesn’t like it when Christmas or Easter are commercialized and you’re nervous about bringing your kids to see it, then be warned, at one point the Easter Bunny says that Easter is about the renewal of life, not the resurrection of Jesus. Just warning you, though I’m not sure why; a lot of the work I plan to write will fly in the face of Christianity, especially the work I have planned about Satan and the war with the angels (to be written someday in the future).

Review: Skyfall

Posted: November 10, 2012 in Review
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British theatrical poster for “Skyfall”. Looks kind of…nostalgic, doesn’t it?

BOND IS BACK!

And he’s better than ever, showing that in an age of enemies without countries and cyberterrorists with no faces, Bond can still kick ass and take prisoner. Daniel Craig returns as Bond, but this time the serious spy comes with quips and self-referential humor. After faking dead for a while after a failed mission, Bond returns to England to defend M and MI6 when the latter comes under attack by Javier Bardem’s Silva, who apparently has a history with M (a really weird history). A tight plot spanning the globe from Istanbul to London to Hong Kong and Macau and finally a climax in the Scottish Moors that would’ve made Emily Bronte say “My word!”, Skyfall shows that the Bond era is not dead, but coming back with full force.

Craig is in his element aa s slightly older, unshaved, tired 007, who still will go to great lengths to help his country and his boss. We also get to see an entirely new side to Bond, one that’s not England’s killing machine or what every man wants to be, but a more human side only briefly glimpsed in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and Casino Royale. Javier Bardem fulfills his villain role by being creepy. He’s also possibly bisexual, definitely Oedipal, and you don’t want to see him without his dentures in, but above all, he’s just creepy, especially as he goes about trying to kill (or possibly be reunited with and forgiven by) M. Speaking of which, Judi Dench is still one of my favorite Ms, a cold, calculating leader who, underneath it all, really cares for the agents she employs. You will not believe what happens at the end of the movie with her character.

In addition, there are some newcomers that definitely deserve mention. For starters, Naomi Harris as Eve, who will definitely be making some appearances throughout the movie and will appear in later films as–you guessed it–Moneypenny. Saw that one coming, didn’t we? Ben Whinshaw takes the role of the Q character, redefining the role as the young computer genius who prefers the power of a computer over the agents of the field, but seems to like Bond well enough. He’s also filled with some self-referential humor, especially when we see him make a quip about exploding pens. And Ralph Fiennes, formerly known as both the Red Dragon and Lord Voldemort, gets a very important role in MI6, one that brings Bond back to its early days (that’s a hint, if you don’t get his role yet). And Albert Finney plays Kincade, the gruff Scottish gameskeeper of Bond’s boyhood home. Although he’s not a secret agent, we can see where Bond picked up his shooting and joking skills.

The plot, like any Bond film, went all over the place, but it was much better than anything I saw in Quantum of Solace. To say the least, I’m looking forward to what happens in the next couple of films, especially if director Sam Mendes comes back, because he obviously can present a strange, sprawling storyline without boring or confusing Bond fans. In addition, Thomas Newman’s soundtrack is simply excellent, working in the old Bond theme with new music that reminds one of The Dark Knight Rises. Overall, this is one of the best Bond films I’ve ever seen.

For managing the old Bond of espionage, womanizing, and awesome storylines with the new Bond of shadowy organizations, cyberterrorism, and showing that old dogs can learn new tricks, I give Skyfall a 4.8 out of 5. Well done, Mr. Craig, Mr. Mendes. Well done.

Oh, and before I forget, my friend Michael Geletka and I went in costume to see this movie, I as James Blond, he as Dr. Geletka. It was great. We should have our own film.

Rami Ungar and Michael Geletka as James Blond and Dr. Geletka in the new movie “No Country for Bad Hair”, out this March. Rated PG-13 for violence, sexuality, innuendo, and 80s hair.

Review: Alex Cross (film)

Posted: October 29, 2012 in Review
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AFTER KISS THE GIRLS, EVERYBODY FORGOT HOW TO MAKE A GOOD ALEX CROSS FILM!
That’s my opinion, anyway. I watched the film, and it was not the movie I’d been looking forward to seeing. Let me start with the liberties taken with the movie:

First, there were some liberties I could deal with: the kids being preteens when their mother is shot instead of being babies like in the book; a plot not based on anything James Patterson wrote; and even that James Sullivan aka the Butcher aka Picasso, was so changed from the book to the movie he was an entirely different character. However, there were others I couldn’t: like first, the location of the movie is Detroit instead of Washington DC. No offense to Detroit, but part of the fun of the books is that when the plot takes place in DC, you’ve got politicians, government agencies, and so much sleaze you need a raincoat on a sunny day just to avoid it all. There’s not enough of that in Detroit. Second, Alex Cross’s partner is not the humongous, African-American, tough-but-sweet John “Two-John” Sampson but by a fast-talking white guy named Tommy Kane. Seriously, what’s wrong with two black cops working together, huh? It just seems wrong not to feature Alex’s partner-of-choice from the books. And finally, what’s with Alex going rogue cop? He doesn’t do that in the books until Kill Alex Cross, and only in the hopes of saving the President’s kids! I was seriously upset by how the filmmakers made the noble Dragonslayer of the books into an easily-corruptible man for a movie!

However, there were some good points, I do admit. For instance, Tyler Perry is not what I imagined Alex Cross to be (I see Alex more like Denzel Washington in my head, with a less prominent forehead), but he does a good job playing the character. Just needs a better screenwriter. And Cicely Tyson, while not looking like my conception of Nana Mama, does a very good impression of her, being strict but sweet. And Matthew Fox as Picasso, now that was a piece of work. Very nice psychopath, I’m impressed.

All told, I give this film a 2.8 out of 5. Let’s hope that when the sequel they’re making, Double Cross, comes out, they do a better job. After all, Double Cross is a great book, but there are so many ways the filmmakers could mess it up in the making it, especially with all the liberties they’ll have to take with it!

And speaking of sequels, the new Alex Cross book, Merry Christmas Alex Cross, is due out next month. I’m looking forward to it, though I hope it’s not a disappointment like this movie, or like the new book’s predecessor, Kill Alex Cross; now that was a disappointment!

A List of My Favorite Bloodsuckers

Posted: October 28, 2012 in Review
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“How do you like my new lipstick? It’s called Without a Briefcase Bloodsucker.

With zombies being the new vampires, vampires have finally settled back into that mode where they’re considered cool but nobody over-does them or anything. In fact, I stopped writing a vampire novel because vampires were “all the rage” for a little while, so it kind of made no sense to write one when everyone else was. But like I said, they’re not the trendy thing they used to be. Sure, you still got the fifth Twilight film and two vampire TV shows on the CW and HBO networks, but those are the last ones really making any waves, and they’re kind of fading, in my opinion.

So with that in mind, I thought it was high time I talk about my favorite vampires, the ones I consider cool and awesome. Trust me though, I won’t have anything from Twilight or anything that mostly appeals to tweens and bored single moms. The vampires I list have broad appeal, so I’m sure you’ll find something here you’ll like.

Of course, if you do like tortured, handsome, and undead, I’ve got some here that actually have some depth to them besides brooding and stalking girls.

Mina Tepes, Dance in the Vampire Bund

“I’m full of surprises.”

The female protagonist of the hit manga series by Nozomu Tamaki, Mina is over 200 years old and queen of the vampires despite the fact that she’s a pint-sized, twin-ponytailed girl. At the beginning of the series, Mina has just created the Bund, a refuge for vampires from all over the world to live in, off the coast of Tokyo. The Japanese government allowed Mina to do this in exchange for her paying off Japan’s humongous debt, but that doesn’t mean they’re happy about it. In addition, there are several vampire nobles who are attempting to gain Mina’s hand in marriage to secure power over the throne, and a mysterious organization named Telomere is attempting to destroy the Bund from the inside.

Mina is an interesting and muti-faceted character. On the outside, she acts naughty, cute and teases others like a regular kid. But don’t let that fool you; she’s a shrewd politician and calculating general to make the most veteran leaders feel small in comparison to her. Mina is also very smart and wise, and has knowledge on a number of subjects. And beneath all that, there’s another part of her that we rarely see: an insecure and scared young girl who often relies on the support of her subjects and her werewolf companion and male protagonist Akira to help her through tough situations. It’s all this that makes Mina such an unforgettable character.

However, I wouldn’t recommend this series for anyone younger than fifteen, and only if they have read an extensive amount of horror and romantic-comedy manga beforehand. Still, it’s a pretty awesome series.

Lestat de Lioncourt, The Vampire Chronicles

“I’m tortured…without looking like I’m sickly or haven’t bathed recently.

The original sexy vampire, he brooded and fell in love long before Edward Cullen ever graced the world. Originally the deuteroganist in Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, Lestat quickly became popular and established himself as the main character of the series in the follow-up novels The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned. Lestat was originally the youngest son of a nobleman in France before being made a vampire. He traveled the world, looking for companionship and losing it from time to time. At one point he met Louis, the main character of Interview, and in Lestat he formed a rock band that he left after Queen. In Memnoch the Devil he met God and the Devil, and in…you know what, why don’t you read it yourself? Those books were some of the best years of my short life, I tell you.

Lestat is a theatrical man, able to act sophisticated and like a gangster at any time. He also is a deep philosopher, viewing the world as a sort of Savage Garden of beauty and violence, and a romantic as well, loving many over the years and only having a true connection maybe once or twice over the series. Having legions of loyal fans though, Lestat is definitely one of the greatest vampires out there.

Vlad Dracula, Dracula

“Ah, the readers of this blog. What fine words they read.”

No list of vampires is complete without Dracula, also known as Vlad the Impaler or just Vlad to his wives. A former Romanian king and warlord, Dracula became a vampire after his death, and ruled the Romanian countryside with an iron grip of fear. At some point he heads to London, hoping to start an army that will allow him to take over the world. With a variety of powers at his fingertips, Dracula is all but unstoppable, and several characters die trying to stop this insidious man.

Since there is no technical copyright over the story or character, Dracula is in the public domain and becuase of that has appeared in a variety of works and has been portrayed by numerous actors. Most point to Bela Lugosi in the 1931 film version or Max Shrek in the 1920s silent film Nosferatu as the best portrayals of the character, but my favorites are Gary Oldman as a lovesick vampire searching for his long-lost bride in the 1992 Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Richard Roxburgh’s portrayal in the 2004 film Van Helsing as my favorites.

Akabara Strauss, The Record of a Fallen Vampire

“I will find what I’m looking for.”

Yes it’s another manga, but I swear it’s a good one. Written by Kyo Shiradaira and illustrated by Yuri Kimura, Record follows Akabara Strauss, the former vampire king who forsook his throne to find his queen, who was sealed away somewhere hidden when she couldn’t control her magical powers and nearly destroyed the Earth. Trying to stop Akabara are what’s left of the kingdom, a few vampires and half-vamps who do not want to see the world destroyed. In addition, a curse called the Black Swan follows Akabara in nearly every generation, and it won’t stop until it kills him through a host it selects to do its dirty work.

At first it seems like a simple tragic love-story, but it’s more than that. Soon, Akabara is contacted by a powerful man who wants his help to stop an alien invasion (plot twist!), and Akabara has to join up with vampires, the Black Swan, and humans to stop the invasion. At the same time, we learn the real events that led to the destruction of the vampire kingdom and why Akabara vacated the throne, and in doing so, we learn just how deep and selfless a king can go. A beautiful, introspective work, I looked forward to every volume I got.

That’s all I got for now. If this article is well-recieved, I’ll write a Part II with some more vampires, famous and otherwise. Have a good evening!

Carrie: The First Trailer

Posted: October 27, 2012 in Review, Scary Stuff
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“They’ll laugh at you. They’ll laugh at you. They’ll laugh at you.”

Honestly, those were some awesome lines, and I hope they make it into the new movie.

Earlier this month the makers of the new Carrie film released this trailer, a first look at what fans can expect from a modern-day retelling of the famous Stephen King classic. It shows a bird’s-eye view of the town of Chamberlain, Maine, with voice-overs by different characters giving hints at what happened and creepy music in the background. As the camera goes farther down, we see a burning school, buildings on fire, trees and cars and other signs of destruction all over the street. Eventually, we see Carrie herself, “just a girl”, standing in the street, looking scared and angry as hell. The creepy music playing the whole trailer begins to skip as if on a record player (knowing this story, it probably is).

I cannot wait to see this film, one that not only terrifies us, but teaches us how horrible bullying is and how it should be stopped and nipped in the bud, a theme we seem understand better today than we did when I was in elementary school.

I am counting down the weeks till March 2013. See you at the prom.

Review: Manhattan Vigil

Posted: October 24, 2012 in Review
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aka The 300th episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit! Yeah, I know you guys had no idea I was a fan of SVU, from the way I write and what I write about you’d never be able to tell. Is my sarcasm coming through alright?

So yes, this was the 300th episode of SVU, which I’ve been waiting for like crazy ever since I found out about it. And let me just say, it was a pretty decent episode, especially considering the episode based on Fifty Shades of Gray was mediocre and the one on the prostitution ring with terrorist ties was only slightly better. In this episode, a young boy is kidnapped on a subway on the way to a baseball game, and the neighborhood it happened in reminds Detective Benson (Mariska Hargitay), Sergeant John Munch (Richard Belzer) and Captain Don Cragen (Dann Florek), the only remaining members of the original SVU crew since the show began, of a case that would’ve occurred during the show’s first season in 1999. Let’s just say, the similarities between the two cases are more than just coincidences.

What an awesome cast, huh?

The acting was pretty solid. I would’ve liked to see more of Munch (and not just in this episode, but in general; he’s featured in only haf the episodes these days, and he’s a main character!) and of Detective Fin Tutuola (Ice-T’s awesome!). Oh, and somebody bring back ADAs Cabot and Novak(Stephanie March and Diane Neal, respectively), they’re the reason I admire prosecutors so much! But I digress; back to the reviewing.

I thought the way Benson and Detective Amaro (Danny Pino) finally settled their problems–with Cragen’s prodding–was well done. And although some of the connections between the cases took a little work for some to put together, I thought the writing was well done. Let’s keep it up, Dick Wolf and Company!

On my ratings scale, I’m giving this a 3.5 out of 5, showing that while I liked it, I think we need to recapture the energy and tension that we had in the season premiere and lost afterwards.

Review: Taken 2

Posted: October 14, 2012 in Review
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THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. PLEASE BE AWARE YOU MAY NOT WANT TO SEE THE MOVIE AFTER READING THIS POST.

Before I start, I just want to say one thing: I loved Taken. I loved Liam Neeson in that movie (he’s great in every movie I’ve seen him in, but he’s especially amazing here), I thought the story was amazing, the action was fresh and awesome, and the movie helped inspire my serial killer Snake.

So I feel a little sad that I have to write this review, and a little disappointed that the makers of Taken 2 couldn’t top Taken. In fact, they did several things that just sapped the excitement from the film and made it boring. For instance, the opening of the movie would’ve looked more at home in a sci-fi film about a conspiracy than the sequel of a thriller involving lots of shooting and killing. And then when they show the funeral, they make it explicitly clear that it’s an Islamic funeral while the antagonist vows revenge for his fallen friends. Seriously, I get that Albania’s mostly Muslim, but could you wait until after the funeral to discuss your evil plans? Or did you want the racist freaks out there to nod and say, “That’s just what Muslims do at funerals”?

Second, the action just seemed a little too…familiar. Even if Liam Neeson gets captured and beaten a little, it’s all the same, shoot people up in a foreign place, take them all by surprise, end up with very few wounds by the end of the film. And what was with the end of that bad guy? Honestly, you just kill him after offering to let him go. Makes no sense to me; I would’ve done it differently.

Unfortunately, this movie’s doing well at the box office, so perhaps some people disagree with me. However, I’m calling it as I see it, and I see this film as a 1.4 out of 5. Yes, that low! Hopefully when I see Alex Cross next week, they’ll be able to do a better job of doing a thriller than the makers of Taken 2, even if they’re not including the character of John Sampson in the former.

My Favorite Fantasy Stories

Posted: October 8, 2012 in Living and Life, Reflections, Review, Scary Stuff
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Anyone else wondering if Mickey Mouse is hiding behind a corner?

Lately I’ve been reading a lot of of books based on Celtic and Arthurian mythology. Knights, faeries, dragons, magic and wizards. I’ve been on a bit of a fantasy binge. So I’d thought I’d devote a post to some of my favorites…not including Harry Potter. Or Tolkein. Or Lewis. Or Game of Thrones. Why none of those, you may ask? Mostly because everybody’s read them and I don’t want to just tell people what everyone know. That, and I’ve only read two of the four mentioned.

So here’s my fantasy favorites, all for your enjoyment:

THE AGE OF MISRULE by Mark Chadbourn

Honestly one of the most interesting fantasy stories I’ve ever read, weaving together both Arthurian and Celtic myths with New Age philosophy and beliefs. In modern-day Britain, strange things start happening. Dragon in the sky…electricity failing mysteriously…technology going haywire…stepping out at night becoming an extreme sport. What’s happening is the ancient gods, demons, and magical creatures of days past are returning to our world, and the only thing standing in the way of humanity being bulldozed by this change is the Brothers and Sisters of Dragons, five ordinary humans who’ve been gifted with the Pendragon Spirit, a power given to them by Existence itself to help humanity weather the coming change. Together the Brothers and Sisters must learn to work together and help humanity adapt, especially when the demonic Fomorii are working to bring their master Balor back to life and wage war on the god-like Tuatha Da Danaan.

I really enjoyed this trilogy, not only because it’s unique and Mark Chadbourn knows how to write a compelling plot and characters, but because even though the world is full of supernatural dangers, I’d want to live there. Heck, I’d want ot be a Brother of Dragons, helping to bring the change to humanity. After all, it’s a simpler life, one where if you’re not working on the land, you’re learning to be in harmony with nature and the spirits around you. And you get to learn magic, which is pretty cool.

 

 

 

 

EARL AND THE FAIRY by Mizue Tani

A series of light novels, the story follows a woman named Lydia Carlton, who is one of the last few fairy doctors around (fairy doctors being people who mediate between humans and fairies). Unfortunately for her, humans in 19th century are not too predisposed to seeing or believing in fairies, so Lydia’s kind of an odd duck to other people. That is, until she meets Edgar Ashenbert, a cunning, manipulative, and mysterious nobleman who enlists Lydia’s help in reclaiming his heritage, which includes a sword that belonged to the Blue Knight Earl, a warrior who had holdings in the realm of the fairies and Edgar’s ancestor. Torn between falling in love with Edgar and hating him for using her in his schemes, Lydia becomes embroiled with supernatural events that seem to gravitate around her and Edgar, sometimes endangering both their lives.

The series is quite popular in Japan, with 29 volumes out already, and a manga and anime series based on the books out as well. Unfortunately, only the manga is available in the US, and only the first 3 volumes as of last month. Still, it is worth a read, especially if you’re looking to get into manga and need an opinion on a good one.

 

 

 

MERLIN

A TV miniseries starring Sam Neill and Miranda Richardson, Merlin chronicles the life of Merlin in his battle against the supernatural Queen Mab. The story starts several years before King Arthur, beginning with Merlin’s birth, his magic training, his animosity with Mab, the rise and fall of Arthur and Camelot, and the final defeat of Mab and the death of magic. I saw this when I was younger, and I always thought it was an amazing story, though now that I think about it I’m not sure how pissing off Merlin and doing everything you can to hurt him is supposed to save your kingdom…oh wait, now I see what Mordred’s purpose was! I really need to rewatch that series now.

The special effects aren’t Avatar or Inception-grade, but the story is compelling and even if the effects aren’t top-notch, they do look believable for their day. Sam Neill is great as a pensive, all-knowing Merlin with anger issues, while Miranda Richardson is the ultimate femme fatale, a hoarse-voiced queen of magic with spells galore and a thousand and one tricks up her sleeve. You’ll love it if you watch it.

 

 

FAIRY CUBE by Kaori Yuki

Kaori Yuki has a reputation for powerful stories with Gothic and supernatural elements. Here she upholds her reputation with Fairy Cube, a story about a boy named Ian who sees spirits and fairies and is haunted by a spirit named Tokage. When Ian is killed by his father in a drunken rage, Tokage possesses Ian’s body and starts romancing Ian’s childhood friend Rin. Determined to get his body back, Ian teams up with a fiery fairy named Ainsel and a mysterious shopkeeper named Kaito in order to get his body back and save his friend. At the same time, Ian starts to become aware of a company called Gotoh that has ties to the spirit world and has sinister plans for the human world (I always knew corporations were up to no good).

Exciting and with Kaori Yuki’s awesome art and storytelling, Fairy Cube is an exciting read for all those interested in dark fantasy in general. I certainly enjoyed it.

 

That’s all I have right now. If I think of any other stories I’d want to put up here, I’ll let you know. If you have any suggestions, if you’ve read any of these works and want to give your review of them, or if you think I’m crazy because I haven’t read Tolkein or Game of Thrones, let me know.

Review: Daniel Craig on Saturday Night Live

Posted: October 7, 2012 in Review
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Well, here it is, folks. My final review of an episode of SNL for a while. And I’m sorry I’m getting it out later than I usually do, but them’s the breaks.

Alright, starting with Mr. Craig himself. As the current James Bond and a professional at killing people on screen while making women real and fictional swoon, we’ve been expecting a lot from this episode, and from Mr. Craig, who has not really done comedy up till this point. Sad to say, I was a little disappointed. I mean, he was great in the opening monologue…until they did that “In Memoriam” thing. And then it was just full of disappointments to me. Craig seems very expressionless, and although his New Jersey accent is convincing, he just doesn’t deliver the lines with the zing you expect from hosts on SNL. In fact, the cast members seem to overshadow him. Overshadow 007! Speaking of which, I was hoping he would do a whole skit on Bond, but all we got was a joke ad, with Craig in it only a quarter of the time. What’s up with that?

The rest of the cast was phenomenal as usual. Jay Pharaoh did a good impression of Obama that was both funny and painful to watch for me. Aidy Bryant finally had more than a single line in an episode, and was hilarious as a crazy woman, so I hope I get to see her full range in later episodes. It was cool to see Chris Parnell come back as Lehrer during the cold open, and Bobby Moynihan is great as a kitten-obsessed dude that, while we sympathize with him, we also want to punch him. Oh, and Fred Armisen, I don’t know how you feel about getting in drag, but you always kill me when you are!

The skits themselves were so-so. The psychic woman skit was a laugh, with everyone tearing up. I enjoyed Weekend Update especially, with Kate McKinnon as a weird Italian artist, and–oh, Big Bird was there! How did they get him on the show? I don’t know how, but kudos to the producers for that! And he was funny as welll as appropriate, which with Big Bird I guess is required.

No comments on the musical guest Muse, since I’m more of a pop/rap/screaming metal kind of guy, but they did alright I guess. And was that Michelle Obama in the cold open, or was that footage from a debate? Someone tell me.

Overall, I give it a 3,8 out of 5. Look forward to my next reviews, when I go to see movies like Taken 2, Alex Cross, and Skyfall, where Daniel Craig shines in the mode he’s best at: serious.

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