Archive for the ‘Review’ Category

Review: A Good Day To Die Hard

Posted: February 18, 2013 in Review
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You might want to wait till it comes out on DVD.

(The following post contains many spoilers, so consider yourself warned!)

I went to this film expecting to be wowed…and left seeing why the reviewer from Entertainment Weekly gave this film a C. Honestly, doesn’t anyone care about making good sequels? Let alone making a good movie? Apparently not.

In this sequel, Bruce Willis reprises his role as John McClane, who goes to Moscow to meet his son Jack Jr., a CIA agent who’s gotten himself in jail all with the express purpose of liberating a political prisoner with some national security secrets that could jeopardize a corrupt politician’s corrupt career. Along the way, we get the requisite amount of explosions and public destruction, but very little in terms of plot–unless you count a trip to Chernobyl, Ukraine plot!

We do see some interesting bits. There are some betrayals and cool reveals, there’s a death scene that harks back to the first movie with a new twist, and Willis gets to make some of his trademark zingers. However, Jai Courtney is so one-dimensional as Jack Jr, you find yourself wishing for Justin Long as Matt Farrell from the fourth film. Indeed, you could switch Courtney for Long in this film and get a much more interesting film. That, and if you add about forty minutes and a revenge plot involving nuclear missiles after the main villain gets scissored in half! Oh, and the car chase that happens right after Willis arrives in Moscow without any time to prepare us for what’s about to happen? It’s so like the DC car chase from the last film, you feel like you’re watching the fourth film for the third time!

After all this, I left the theater feeling disappointed. I hope they don’t make a sixth film, because I’m not sure I could take it if they made another! For all the reasons listed above, I give Die Hard 5 a 2.8 out of 5, and unofficially rename it A Good Day to See A Different Movie or Go to Redbox.

Review: Justin Bieber on Saturday Night Live

Posted: February 10, 2013 in Review
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People are free to disagree with me. I’m fine with that. But I must say it, because it has to be said: I was not that impressed by Justin Bieber on SNL tonight.

I think the funniest skits were the ones where they made fun of Bieber, like during the Miley Cyrus show sketch. However there were moments where Bieber shown through as having comedic talent. That opening monologue, where he messed up Black History Month facts was hilarious. And the Californians sketch is goofy as ever. Oh, and Bieber as a greaser–ha! They made the impossible look halfway possible.

Still, this is one of those episodes where they really didn’t know what to do with the host, so they mostly made fun of who and what he is, with a few brilliant moments besides (for another illustration of this, check out the Bruno Mars episode from October).

However, the regular cast members were phenomenal as usual. I love Vanessa Bayer’s impression of Miley Cyrus, and those Booker T. Washington sketches always get me, especially when Jay Pharoah and Keenan Thompson do their thing as Principal Frye and the gym teacher. Plus that one sketch with “glice” and Taram Killan acting like a total doofus was hilarious. Even Bieber couldn’t keep a straight face. And let’s not forget that Cold Open, where they made fun of the Super Bowl blackout was genius. I couldn’t stop giggling. And during Weekend Update, Thompson once again wowed with that dude from every commercial. That was so hip and fun.

Oh, and speaking of Weekend Update, despite what was said on Richard III, he didn’t actually kill his nephew, and he wasn’t particularly ruthless. In fact, nobody knows who killed his nephew, or if it was even murder; they just seemed to disappear one day. It’s a historical mystery. Not only that, but Richard III seemed to be very merciful, from what I’m told; he pardoned or gave reduced sentences to several people involved in a plot to overthrow him. Can you believe that? The whole bad image of him that history and Shakespeare gave about him was part of a disinformation campaign by the House of Tudor, who took over the throne after destroying Richard’s Plantagenet house. The whole point was to make Richard look like a villain so that the uneducated masses would look upon the new rulers more kindly than the old ones. I’m a History major, so I know this stuff.

I know it’s not essential to this review to point that out, but I had to anyway. I can’t stand it when history is obfuscated by ignorance or misinformation (which is why I also fight against Holocaust deniers).

Now back to the review.

Really happy to see Whoopi Goldberg in the monologue. That woman is an inspiration. And the Grease parody sketch was so funny, you could ignore that an 11-year-old was in a high school. Also, I thought seeing Bieber with his old hair in the “Glice” sketch was a treat for me. The music was not my thing–I don’t like Bieber–but I’m sure there were others who thought it was soulful. I was more surprised that there wasn’t any big performances with some of his more pop music hits, to tell you the truth. And that Valentine’s Day message was crazy funny. I’ve never seen Bieber’s supposed sex appeal skewered like that before.

And who knew he was so inked? Yes, I noticed that stuff. Call it a weird detail to notice, but notice it I did.

Overall, a good episode. Not great, but good. 3.5 out of 5. Good night, and if you disagree with my assessment, please feel free to voice your opinion. I’m always open to differing opinions.

Review: Adam Levine on Saturday Night Live

Posted: January 27, 2013 in Review
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Can I just say, when SNL does a good episode, they do an amazing string of sketches garaunteed to get me laughing?

Adam Levine is a great actor, a wondeful singer, and can I just say I was a little overwhelemed in a good way when he took off his shirt? Holy crap! My buddy and I were watching the show together, and I both think we developed man-crushes on the guy. Also, Mr. Levine does a great gay talk show host, and he interacts so well with Bobby Moynihan (more on that later).

That being said, the other actors also were wonderful. Nasim Pedrad always kills me as Arianna Huffington on Weekend Update, the way she’s flirting with Seth Meyers without actually flirting. Bill Hader showed us what would’ve happened if one of his other characters, Stefan, was named Bryce, had his sexuality repressed, developed rejection issues, and developed a need to control everything around him while showing me that his voice can go higher than I thought possible. And I just love it when Bobby Moynihan dresses in drag, especially when he dresses as Janet, the strange woman from Yonkers who has a horrible face and yet beds a lot of celebrities.

Some highlights from the show include the Janet sketch, the Cold Open where Jay Pharaoh as Barack Obama has a weird conversation with Keenan Thompson as Martin Luther King Jr, the SNL Digital Short featuring The Lonely Island (how I missed you guys and your shorts!), the joke commercial for a prequel series to The Sopranos that almost put me in an early grave and…I’m forgetting something…oh right. ANDY SAMBERG! Along with Cameron Diaz and Jerry Seinfeld, they parodied Levine’s show The Voice and got him to take his shirt off. I missed that dude and his Digital Shorts.

Kendrick Lamar was a good musical guest. He’s not my thing, but you know what? I didn’t dislike him, and I didn’t totally ignore his act either. So there’s something to be said for that.

For this episode, I give it a 4.2 out of 5 for a ton of entertainment, a ton of laughs, Janet, and Andy Samberg.

Join me for a review in two weeks, which will probably involve me either tearing into Justin Beiber or being pleasantly surprised by him in most aspects except his singing.

Review: Jennifer Laurence on Saturday Night Live

Posted: January 20, 2013 in Review
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Can I just say, I think I have a crush on that woman? I’m not kidding, I’m going to say it right now: I love Jennifer Laurence! Can I treat you to dinner, provided you come out to meet me here at OSU and any place we go is within walking distance of campus?

Anyway, I think this was one of my favorite SNL episodes ever, and not just because I fell in love again. Nope, the writers were just hilarious, and the actors were top-notch! My favorite skit was the Top Dog Chef bit, where every character looked positively adorable as they ate stuff out of a garbage bag! At the end of it all, I was laughing for two whole minutes, right as the commercials came on. In addition, there was a Hunger Games sketch that I couldn’t help but giggle about. And Taram Killan as an abnormally short Peeta Mellark was a hoot! Kudos to the make-up and costume artists as well, you made the actors really look like they came right out of the book. Plus, Laurence can rap and rhyme…sort of. It’s still hilarious. And check out the foreign film sketch Danielle: A Free European Woman, which catches all the cliches of old foreign films that are attempting to be the film equivalent of artsy, elite literary novels.

My one complaint was that Weekend Update was a little too short for my tastes, though I was happy to see Bobby Moynihan reprise his role as Anthony Crispino, who never seems to get the news right. Also, I expected some more coverage of the gun control debate, but instead they decided to make fun of Manti Te’o and his unfortunate hoodwinking by a conwoman. I’m not sure I would’ve gone that way myself, personally. I mean, the guy found out a girl he loved and whom he thought had died was all a hoax. Cut the guy a little slack.

Still, gotta say, I found the show hysterical.

Can’t say I enjoyed the Lumineers, but I’m not familiar with their music. Now if Lorne Michaels got Disturbed or Marilyn Manson, then maybe we could talk.

For this show, I give SNL a 4.5 out of 5, for bringing in the new year with an awesome episode that’ll definitely be remembered as a highlight for the season. Look forward to next week, when Adam Levine hosts and Kendrick Lamar sings. By the way, my sister is obsessed with Lamar, so is he any good? We’ll find out next week.

Review: “The Hunger Games” Trilogy

Posted: January 13, 2013 in Novel, Reflections, Review, Writing
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Normally I wait a week before doing another review, but I think this time I’ll make an exception.

I decided to read The Hunger Games books for a number of reasons. One, because m sister was upset at how many things got changed between book and movie (the movie I saw first) and I wanted to know if it was really something to be upset over (I decided it wasn’t, but actually very clever). Another was that the second film is coming out later this yea and I wanted to be prepared for what I’d find, maybe be as upset as my sister (though that usually doesn’t happen). But finally, I decided to read the books because Ohio State’s having this mock-Hunger Games thing called the OSU Honor Games, a nonviolent contest based on Suzanne Collins’s twisted imagination, and I want to be a tribute for my dorm (go Jones Tower!).

So I read the books. And without going into what I thought of each separate book, I’ll give you my thoughts:

First off, I don’t read a lot of YA, so I don’t necessarily know the conventions that are associated with it. Still, I thought certain moments in the story, Collins relied too much on telling rather than showing. For instance, at the end of Books 2 and 3, Collins ties up events in only a short few paragraphs. At the end of Book 2 I was like, “There’s a rebellion in progress and Katniss was apart of it without knowing it, and yet you expect to tell me that in four little paragraphs and that I’d be satisfied with that? Puh-leaze!” And at the end of Book 3, after Katniss (spoiler alert!) kills Coin while Snow expires from being a sick, bloody old man, I tought Collins was rushing a bit to finish up the story, to have everything resolve itself without doing too much writing or exposition or lengthy conversation. Too much telling, and maybe a little lazy.

Not only was that a problem for me, but at certain points Collins puts us into dramatic moments without putting on the drama. When Katniss and her crew go into the Capital in Book 3 to take down Snow, it seems Collins is deliberately under-dramatizing it, making the mission seem as drawl as possible. I would’ve cued in on Katniss’s feelings as she stepped into the Capital with a gun and bow and arrows, looking around the snow-swept streets and the rising excitement and tension as she awaits her chance to kill Snow.

But Collins decides to just put us smack in the middle of the Capitol, and things only get dramatic when she actually feels like telling us in detail what’s happening instead of summarizing it for us.

And finally, the ending for Book 3 left me stunned. I mean really, Katniss kills Coin just like that? A little out of left field, if you ask me. Where’s the dramatic build-up, the chance to let the world know what Coin did, to refute it so that the world will see how cruel war can make us and make it stick that we shouldn’t fight like monsters? Nope, just kills the old hag after agreeing the Capitol children should participate in a Hunger Games. And speaking of which, did that ever happen? Or after President Coin’s death, did they just decide not to let the Capitol kids not die?

Whatever.

I thought the first book fantastic, but Books 2 and 3 were not as good. Sure, Collins made an effort to make Book 2 more than just a bridge between Books 1 and 3, but at times it dragged, and I thought it took too long to get to the Quarter Quell. And Book 3 alternated between me being interested and me being annoyed and bored.

Plus the resolution of the whole Peeta-Gale thing…Oy Gevalt! I feel like there were so much more to those characters. They were both capable of being great political and military leaders, especially Peeta. But all we really see is their obsessions with Katniss and perhaps a darker side of Peeta after he’s been hijacked. And then the way Katniss finally picks her man…was that Collins’s way of saying, “Oh yeah, this is who she finally picks and how it happens.” I definitely wouldn’t have written it that way, and I think I would’ve gone into Katniss actually weighing her feelings and what each boy represents to her. You know, make it seem like they’re both dreamy and she just can’t choose?

And by the way, what do those guys do at the end of the book? Does Peeta become mayor of District Twelve? Does Gale find a new girl while leading reconstruction efforts in other districts? A little explanation please! God, now I know why the movie went into further detail of the behind-the-scenes stuff: it was needed to make up for what was left out of the novel.

So finally, how about my ranking? For The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay, I give the whole trilogy a 2.6 out of 5. Great premise, great story overall, but there was room for improvement, if you ask me.

Review: Zero Dark Thirty

Posted: January 12, 2013 in Review
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A most excellent film, on the greatest manhunt in history.

(The following review contains spoiler alerts)

This movie is like Valkyrie in that we all know how it’s going to end, with the death of Osama bin Laden. But even so, you still feel a chill not borne from the winter air as you watch it, wondering what’s going to happen, how it’s going to happen, and what will happen when it does.

Zero Dark Thirty, which manages to compact the decade-long hunt for the notorious leader of al-Qaeda into two-and-a-half hours, follows Maya, the determined to a fault CIA agent played by Jessica Chastain (who looks like my RA with the same first name). Maya is relentless, and willing to go to all sorts of lengths to find bin Laden. Throughout the movie, we see her start from a naive junior agent unnerved by the torture of a captured terrorist, to a capable interrogator and strategist, to a woman who, as her boss says, knows better than to mess with her when it comes to getting bin Laden. Besides that, we know nothing else about Maya, but we don’t need to; that’s not the point of this story.

The movie is dark, brilliantly told, and has none of the emotional stuff we usually associate with movies revolving around the CIA. Don’t expect Maya to strip down and have sex with an agent she finds very attractive; “I’m not that kind of girl”, she tells a friend right before a bomb blast in a restaurant. Also notice that there isn’t a lot of music, but the music that is there is awe-inspiring, and sometimes it’ll remind you of The Dark Knight trilogy.

The final scenes are the most amazing, as we follow the troops who go in and shoot bin Laden. The only problem with these scenes is that despite helicopters in suburban Aboottabbad and several blasts from explosives, there are only spectators after twenty minutes. What took so long? Still, the final death of Osama is quiet and not laid with any melodrama or huge emotion. Instead, he is killed, we see them hightailing it out of the compound (an excellent reproduction of the actual one, by the way), and then Maya confirming that Osama is dead, and the mission of the last ten years is over.

For all of the above, I give Zero Dark Thirty a 5 out of 5. Hats off to director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal for some excellent handiwork.

Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D

Posted: January 6, 2013 in Review, Scary Stuff
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Ladies and gentlemen, Leatherface is back and he’s better than ever!

An alternative title to this film could be Leatherface’s Revenge: What You Reap Is What You Sow.

If you ask me, this is probably the best TCM movie ever made, and considering about 4 or 5 of the others are terrible, that’s saying something. But I guess that means the creators of the film were successful; according to Entertainment Weekly, producer Carl Mazzacone said that he wanted to do with TCM what he did with the Saw movies, which probably means giving the studio enough reasons to keep making sequels and putting them in theaters instead of Direct-to-DVD crap films. I’m not sure how they’ll be able to top this film, but I’ll believe in them.

The plot follows Heather Miller (the sultry-in-a-punk-rock-way Alexandra Daddarino) as she finds out she was adopted and has a now-deceased grandmother who left her a really nice estate. Unfortunately, that estate includes her cousin Leatherface (played by Dan Yeager) who finally has a name: Jedediah “Jed” Sawyer. As her friends and boyfriend (Trey Songz in his first film role) are killed and Heather becomes terrified, Heather starts to realize her own connections to the Sawyer family, and transforms dramatically because of it.

This reimagining of the franchise, which is meant to be a sequel to the original 1974 film, is definitely a revenge story that brings on the blood and gore and scares. Even when we know what’s going to happen right before it does, it’s still awesome to see it unfold on the big screen in 3D. John Luessenhop does a fabulous job directing, while Debra Sullivan, Adam Marcus, and Kirsten Ems deserve commendation for the script. Dan Yeager is terrifying donning the literal face-mask of Leatherface, and Paul Rae does a fantastic job as antagonist Mayor Burt Hartman. As for Thom Barry’s Sheriff Hooper (the last name’s definitely a reference to the director of the original film), I’d definitely invite that guy to dinner. I’d also like to note that those who think a black sheriff in 1974 is a little too soon after the Civil Rights Act, apparently the first black sheriff in Texas was elected in 1869.

Boys, this film is frightening, so definitely bring your girlfriends along with you. Also, stick around after the credits for what I’d like to call “a joke after the horror show”.

For an excellent reboot of one of the earliest slashers ever made and for some great acting and scares, I give this film the great distinction of a 5 out of 5. Yes, that high and this film deserves it.

Review: Rise of the Guardians

Posted: November 24, 2012 in Review
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Theatrical release poster.

aka Jack Frost Joins The Guardians, Which By This Point Is Already A Major League of Childhood Mascots Reworked For This Movie.

At first I didn’t think I’d want to see this movie. It has, among other things, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, which are not exactly Jewish, and it’s also a children’s film. But the commercials made it look fun, so I went to see it…in 3D. Turns out, it’s pretty good. The movie follows Jack Frost, who up until I saw this movie I didn’t think much about, as he is chosen to become a Guardian, a mythical warrior chosen to protect the children of Earth, as the Guardians go up against the boogeyman, Pitch Black, who wants to engulf the world in nightmares created by corrupting the sand of the Sandman. Jack joins up, at first only to get his memories, which Pitch has somehow stolen, but later because he really wants to help kids.

Cue the “awwww”.

Awwwww.

Moving on…

Okay, this film shows how far computer animation has come, and when you see it in 3D, it’s just magical. The characters, for all their flatness and lack of character development except for Jack, are really fun to watch, whether they’re preparing for their holidays or fighting bad guys or fighting with each other. The nightmares and the fight scenes might be a little much for younger viewers (heck, I was a little scared), but there will be moments that make you want to cry a little. I know my eyes got a little wet. And except for the parts where the characters veer off from fighting Pitch to make sure Easter is safe or the Tooth Fairy gets her duties done, it’s a pretty solid story.

All in all, I give this movie a 4.2 out of 5 for great animation, scaring me with the nightmare creatures, and for a moral/theme that will make your heart melt. Kudos to the filmmakers.

However, I must warn you that if you are a die-hard Christian who doesn’t like it when Christmas or Easter are commercialized and you’re nervous about bringing your kids to see it, then be warned, at one point the Easter Bunny says that Easter is about the renewal of life, not the resurrection of Jesus. Just warning you, though I’m not sure why; a lot of the work I plan to write will fly in the face of Christianity, especially the work I have planned about Satan and the war with the angels (to be written someday in the future).

Review: Skyfall

Posted: November 10, 2012 in Review
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British theatrical poster for “Skyfall”. Looks kind of…nostalgic, doesn’t it?

BOND IS BACK!

And he’s better than ever, showing that in an age of enemies without countries and cyberterrorists with no faces, Bond can still kick ass and take prisoner. Daniel Craig returns as Bond, but this time the serious spy comes with quips and self-referential humor. After faking dead for a while after a failed mission, Bond returns to England to defend M and MI6 when the latter comes under attack by Javier Bardem’s Silva, who apparently has a history with M (a really weird history). A tight plot spanning the globe from Istanbul to London to Hong Kong and Macau and finally a climax in the Scottish Moors that would’ve made Emily Bronte say “My word!”, Skyfall shows that the Bond era is not dead, but coming back with full force.

Craig is in his element aa s slightly older, unshaved, tired 007, who still will go to great lengths to help his country and his boss. We also get to see an entirely new side to Bond, one that’s not England’s killing machine or what every man wants to be, but a more human side only briefly glimpsed in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and Casino Royale. Javier Bardem fulfills his villain role by being creepy. He’s also possibly bisexual, definitely Oedipal, and you don’t want to see him without his dentures in, but above all, he’s just creepy, especially as he goes about trying to kill (or possibly be reunited with and forgiven by) M. Speaking of which, Judi Dench is still one of my favorite Ms, a cold, calculating leader who, underneath it all, really cares for the agents she employs. You will not believe what happens at the end of the movie with her character.

In addition, there are some newcomers that definitely deserve mention. For starters, Naomi Harris as Eve, who will definitely be making some appearances throughout the movie and will appear in later films as–you guessed it–Moneypenny. Saw that one coming, didn’t we? Ben Whinshaw takes the role of the Q character, redefining the role as the young computer genius who prefers the power of a computer over the agents of the field, but seems to like Bond well enough. He’s also filled with some self-referential humor, especially when we see him make a quip about exploding pens. And Ralph Fiennes, formerly known as both the Red Dragon and Lord Voldemort, gets a very important role in MI6, one that brings Bond back to its early days (that’s a hint, if you don’t get his role yet). And Albert Finney plays Kincade, the gruff Scottish gameskeeper of Bond’s boyhood home. Although he’s not a secret agent, we can see where Bond picked up his shooting and joking skills.

The plot, like any Bond film, went all over the place, but it was much better than anything I saw in Quantum of Solace. To say the least, I’m looking forward to what happens in the next couple of films, especially if director Sam Mendes comes back, because he obviously can present a strange, sprawling storyline without boring or confusing Bond fans. In addition, Thomas Newman’s soundtrack is simply excellent, working in the old Bond theme with new music that reminds one of The Dark Knight Rises. Overall, this is one of the best Bond films I’ve ever seen.

For managing the old Bond of espionage, womanizing, and awesome storylines with the new Bond of shadowy organizations, cyberterrorism, and showing that old dogs can learn new tricks, I give Skyfall a 4.8 out of 5. Well done, Mr. Craig, Mr. Mendes. Well done.

Oh, and before I forget, my friend Michael Geletka and I went in costume to see this movie, I as James Blond, he as Dr. Geletka. It was great. We should have our own film.

Rami Ungar and Michael Geletka as James Blond and Dr. Geletka in the new movie “No Country for Bad Hair”, out this March. Rated PG-13 for violence, sexuality, innuendo, and 80s hair.

Review: Alex Cross (film)

Posted: October 29, 2012 in Review
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AFTER KISS THE GIRLS, EVERYBODY FORGOT HOW TO MAKE A GOOD ALEX CROSS FILM!
That’s my opinion, anyway. I watched the film, and it was not the movie I’d been looking forward to seeing. Let me start with the liberties taken with the movie:

First, there were some liberties I could deal with: the kids being preteens when their mother is shot instead of being babies like in the book; a plot not based on anything James Patterson wrote; and even that James Sullivan aka the Butcher aka Picasso, was so changed from the book to the movie he was an entirely different character. However, there were others I couldn’t: like first, the location of the movie is Detroit instead of Washington DC. No offense to Detroit, but part of the fun of the books is that when the plot takes place in DC, you’ve got politicians, government agencies, and so much sleaze you need a raincoat on a sunny day just to avoid it all. There’s not enough of that in Detroit. Second, Alex Cross’s partner is not the humongous, African-American, tough-but-sweet John “Two-John” Sampson but by a fast-talking white guy named Tommy Kane. Seriously, what’s wrong with two black cops working together, huh? It just seems wrong not to feature Alex’s partner-of-choice from the books. And finally, what’s with Alex going rogue cop? He doesn’t do that in the books until Kill Alex Cross, and only in the hopes of saving the President’s kids! I was seriously upset by how the filmmakers made the noble Dragonslayer of the books into an easily-corruptible man for a movie!

However, there were some good points, I do admit. For instance, Tyler Perry is not what I imagined Alex Cross to be (I see Alex more like Denzel Washington in my head, with a less prominent forehead), but he does a good job playing the character. Just needs a better screenwriter. And Cicely Tyson, while not looking like my conception of Nana Mama, does a very good impression of her, being strict but sweet. And Matthew Fox as Picasso, now that was a piece of work. Very nice psychopath, I’m impressed.

All told, I give this film a 2.8 out of 5. Let’s hope that when the sequel they’re making, Double Cross, comes out, they do a better job. After all, Double Cross is a great book, but there are so many ways the filmmakers could mess it up in the making it, especially with all the liberties they’ll have to take with it!

And speaking of sequels, the new Alex Cross book, Merry Christmas Alex Cross, is due out next month. I’m looking forward to it, though I hope it’s not a disappointment like this movie, or like the new book’s predecessor, Kill Alex Cross; now that was a disappointment!

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