Archive for the ‘Scary Stuff’ Category

I and most of Central Ohio lost power Friday, so I haven’t had Internet all weekend. Plus when I tried to use a public computer, the Internet was soo slooow that before I knew it, I had to be at my next thing before I could finish reading posts or checking my dashboard. Well, I’m making up for that right now, and I’m doing it by first writing this post, which has a small excerpt from my new novel-in-progress Snake.

I managed to write this Saturday night, using what little power I had left on my laptop. As I wrote by candlelight and computer screen, feeling almost like a modern-day Edgar Allen Poe, I felt the words flowing through me, from my fingertips to the computer. It was exhilarating, and I managed to finish the chapter before I had to turn off my computer to conserve the battery.

I hope you like what you read. If I find any time or if I get my electricity back by this evening, I’ll do a little more work.

~~~

(Warning: The following preview features some very bad words, so if you have kids, I suggest you make sure they’re not around when you read this post.)

 

Paul felt a buzz in his pocket and looked down. Through the fabric in his pants Paul could see the light from his phone shining through. Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and dove into a little alcove where he could take the call in peace. Without checking the number he pressed the talk button and brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” said Paul; on the other end all he could hear was a deep breathing. Paul raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Who is this?” He checked the caller ID, and saw only UNKNOWN NUMBER.

Suddenly the person at the other end of the phone spoke. “Men in your line of business have no right to be in a church, Mr. Sanonia.”

Paul stared at the phone, surprised. Glancing quickly around the church, he saw only three people, and none of them were on their phones. How did this person know where he was and how did he get his number? He looked back at the phone and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Who the fuck is this?”

The man on the other end laughed, a deep, hearty laugh that for some reason chilled Paul’s skin. “When your cousin James Sanonia died, he was shot in the head.” said the man, his voice deep and affected with a heavy Russian accent. “Then several bones were broken all over his body. He was then taken from wherever he was killed and thrown in the Hudson. Dockworkers saw his body floating and pulled him up out of the water. By the time they got him though, there was nothing to identify your cousin’s murderer. Except for one interesting detail, that is.”

Paul froze, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Who was this guy? How did he know all that? “And what was that detail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

The man spoke, and Paul froze. “You killed my cousin.” he hissed angrily. “You killed Jamie.”

“Horrible thing, wasn’t it?” said the Russian man. “I couldn’t get what I wanted out of your cousin. But I’m sure you’ll be much more helpful.”

Paul was only half-listening; he was looking around the Church, trying to find someone—anyone!—on a phone. One of the other worshippers, a teenage girl with a skirt too short for the cold February weather, got out of a pew while texting. Besides her, no one else seemed to have a phone.

“Where the fuck are you, you crazy shit!” Paul whispered into the phone. “Come on out and face me like a man!”

“But there is no fun in that.” replied the Russian man. “Besides, you’re so much more amusing to watch.”

Paul stepped out of the alcove, looking around the church. “Watch?” he repeated.

“Oh, didn’t I mention it?” asked the Russian man. “I’m right in the church with you.”

Boy, doesn’t that sound like the title to a slasher sequel! But don’t worry, there won’t be any part 3 or 4 or 11 or anything. After all, I’m just doing Part 2 to cover three killers I missed last time. I also wanted a new category of posts to devote to horror-related stuff, so here’s the new category: Scary Stuff. Not exactly original, but the only thing original about slashers is what you put into them (if you think about that it does ring true).

DEATH

The film poster for “Final Destination” because as I’ve said, there’s no picture of Death.

Of all the slashers I’ve ever seen, this one has got to be the most supernatural of them all. I mean, how can you top Death Itself? And the kicker is you never see Death, except for a shadow reflected in certain surfaces. Most of the time you only see his handiwork, Rube Goldberg-like plots that kill anyone who evades Death when it deems you have to die. So creepy.

I’ve only seen the first Final Destination and parts of the second, but definitely see the first. It will blow your mind (not literally!).

THE MINER

Also known as Harry Warden, this killer hails from the Canadian film My Bloody Valentine and its remake. Nobody knows who is really behind that miner’s mask; is it the madman Harry Warden, who went on a rampage one Valentine’s Day and threatened to kill anyone should they try celebrating Valentine’s Day again? Or is it a copycat, someone demented enough to dawn that miner’s suit and kill all the teens in town?

I’ve only seen the remake so far, which but for the ending was good. However, I hear the good one is the original, which I hope to get my hands on soon. Hopefully before the next Valentine’s Day.

The Miner in the remake. Freaky!

GHOSTFACE

Ah, the Scream movies. Wait…let’s start that over. AAAAAAH! The Scream movies! Much better.

Bringing a renaissance to the slasher genre, Ghostface was the killer in every Screamfilm, and each time the person (not just the actor, but the character too!) behind the mask was a different character and had different reasons for wanting to kill main character Sydney Prescott and everyone around her. The killer wears a Grim Reaper cloak and a mask based on Edvard Munch’s The Scream (oh, that makes so much sense), which in the Scream universe is a costume available at any costume store. Also, the killer uses a special device that changes his/her voice to a single, murderous voice and calls the victim before killing them.

Ghostface; he’s much scarier than he looks.

The Scream films were part slasher, part mystery (who was doing the killing and why?) and part satire, as they examined all the conventions of previous famous slasher films, used them, and made fun of them. Still, don’t think these films are comedic–they’re anything but. If you want comedy, see the parody film Scary Movie, which is mostly based on Scream.

I reccommend the first two films, as they were good and scary. The other two just feel recycled, unfortunately.

CONCLUSIONS

So, here are my favorite slashers. If you want to know what makes a good slasher film, let me know. Otherwise I plan to not write again on this subject for a while so as not to scare off any conservative readers. All for now. Bye.

Oh, and check out my last post so as to vote in the poll I’ve set up, if you haven’t already.