Posts Tagged ‘memory’

A Tribute To Maya Angelou

Posted: May 28, 2014 in Journalism, Living and Life, Reflections, Social Activism, Writing
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Dr. Angelou, reading her poem “On the Pulse of Morning” at President Clinton’s 1993 inauguration.

As I booted up my laptop today and logged onto the Internet from my hotel room in Germany, I was greeted by the most depressing news: author, poet, activist, and just plain wonderful human being Dr. Maya Angelou had passed away. Dr. Angelou, who had been teaching at Wake Forest University since 1982 and was a prolific writer and poet throughout her life, had been experiencing health problems recently and had had to cancel several scheduled events because of it. She was 86 years old at the time of her passing.

Immediately I felt  a horrific sense of loss. I never met Dr. Angelou, nor have I read as much of her work as I’d have liked to. But I remembered very vividly reading I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings one summer for school a few years back, along with The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Both books impacted me very deeply and I remember feeling powerful emotions reading Dr. Angelou’s book as I read the events based on her early life experiences, sadness and sympathy and anger and several others depending on what story she was relating to me through her words. It left a very deep impression on me.

And so when I heard that Dr. Angelou had died, I immediately felt the loss that people around the world are probably feeling at this moment. I took to Facebook to write that the world has lost a guiding light in Dr. Angelou, that her passing was swift and painless, and that her memory, words and deeds will last for centuries. But somehow I felt it wasn’t enough, so I decided to write this post about her as soon as I could. Hence this post you are reading now.

Dr. Angelou was an influence for good throughout the world. She worked her way up from a variety of jobs, including a cook, prostitute and nightclub dancer, to become a writer and journalist. Active in the Civil Rights movement, she worked with both Dr. King and Malcolm X, and has also influenced the feminist movement. Her writing has been hailed as “a work of art that eludes description”, and helped bring memoirs from African-American women writers from the margins of literature to the forefront. She made on average eighty public appearances a year, even as she reached her eighties, and was given numerous doctorates and awards, including reciting a poem of hers at President Clinton’s inauguration in 1993, and she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama in 2011. In addition to poetry and autobiographies, Dr. Angelou wrote plays, screenplays for TV and film, essays, cookbooks, children’s books, spoken word albums, and also did acting and directing work on stage and in film and TV.

But most importantly, she gave people a voice. Dr. Angelou gave voices to many African-Americans, women, and others who had been pushed to the margins of society. Caged Bird, probably Dr. Angelou’s most famous autobiography, has been translated into many different languages. This is not only a testament to the popularity of the book, but also to how relatable it is to people of other nations and cultures, how many different peoples can relate to Maya’s own struggles and see it in themselves, or in their people’s struggles. Some have even credited it with allowing black women writers to finally have center stage in the world of literature, instead of on the side where for far too long they’d been ignored and underappreciated.

President Obama said a few hours after the news came out of Dr. Angelou’s death that she reminded us “we all have something to offer”. Whether it be in words (written or oral), in action or just in being there for someone, we all have something to offer. Dr. Angelou offered many a voice, a way to speak about the struggles of the underappreciated and marginalized. Her words resonated with many throughout her lifetime, and I’m sure that they will continue to do so for years to come. And as the years go by, as Dr. Angelou’s works are read and dissected and discussed and debated by readers of all kinds and stripes, as movie adaptations and TV specials and new stories and poems recreate her for a new generation, and as the occasional politician or news commentator tries to appropriate her legacy for some political cause or another, I hope that one fact shines through it all, that she gave the world her voice, and allowed others to speak through it and with it.

And speaking of having something to offer, I decided on the spur of the moment to create a tribute video to Dr. Angelou. It’s not very good, and at the very most it showcases that I’m slowly getting more comfortable with video-making on computers (a valuable skill these days, it seems). But the song I put in, “Bye Bye” by Mariah Carey, is heartfelt and speaks to the emotions of many, and I think it shows my sincerity. What do you think?


You know. about five or six days ago, Dr. Angelou sent out this tweet:

I think this tweet says a lot about Dr. Angelou, because it seems that her words were definitely sent by somebody to make a difference in the world.

So to all those who were close to Dr. Angelou in life, I wish you my deepest condolences. To those who only knew her through her words, her reputation, or through her actions and influence in the world, you probably feel the same as I and many others do: like we’ve all lost someone important. And to the good Dr. Angelou herself, wherever you may be, I hope you’re doing well and that you know that your legacy will continue to influence and help us all for years to come. Thank you.

The Power of Bad Memories

Posted: August 20, 2013 in Novel, Reflections, Writing
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Some philosophers and psychologists will say that memory is what makes us who we are, and it’d be hard to say they’re wrong. The retention of past experiences plays a great deal in shaping our personalities, our sense of selves, and how we interpret and react to the world around us. As I’m writing Laura Horn, one of the novels I’m working on at the moment, I’m beginning to understand this concept of memory and what it has over us.

My protagonist and titular character Laura Horn is a victim of sexual assault. Her dark experiences have never been dealt with and she’s still affected by not only the experience of what she went through, but by the memories she has of the assault.

I think for most people, good memories tend to sleep below the surface of our consciousness, always there but not at the forefront of our thoughts until we need them. For example, someone could be driving down a road they hadn’t traveled down in a long time could remember the last time they travelled down the road, maybe with a lover or someone they really liked and what they did that day. Immediately they may feel happy. less stressed, or more excited about their life and their day as the memory returns to the sea of our consciousnesses.

Bad memories though, tend to act like monsters. Fresh memories or those that were formed relatively recent, tend to be worse. They latch onto your consciousness with their teeth and claws, reminding you of their presence, of dark experiences and horrible mistakes, and they never let go, upsetting your day and causing you terror, anger, anxiety, and other negative emotions.

I have more than a few memories I would rather forget, and this is reflected in the way I write Laura’s interactions with her memories. Whenever her memories surface,  she tries to push them away and berates herself for bringing those memories forward in the first place. I feel the same way whenever my bad memories surface, though I learned that instead of pushing them away and berating myself over them, I’ve learned it’s just much healthier to accept the memories as they are and not get too upset over them.

Like I said, Laura hasn’t dealt with her experiences and her memories of those experiences, let alone how to healthily deal with her memories. Because of this, she’s still very stuck in the state of mind she had when she was attacked. She’s terrified of the world around her and most of the people in it. She wishes for the past to change and to return to a happier time, even though she knows this will never happen. Her life is dark and she is terribly unhappy.

I’m hoping as time goes on and I continue writing, I hope I can help Laura move past her experiences to a happier state. To me, this story is more like Laura telling me what her story is about rather than me making up events as I go along, so I’m hoping as time moves along, our collaboration on her tail will yield some positive results.

Until such a time, I have to examine how Laura interacts with her memories of her assault and how those memories be affected as she gets ever closer to the main events of the story, which will change her life forever. And maybe, while doing so, I’ll come to understand my own life and experiences, especially the bad ones, a little bit better.