Posts Tagged ‘Snake’

Snake: 65 Edited, 27 To Go

Posted: March 7, 2013 in Novel, Writing
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I think this might have been in Harry Potter. What do you think?

I always think the editing process is going to be longer than it actually is. And yet I’m already done with Part III of the thriller novel Snake, which means I’ve only got a small stretch of the novel left to edit. I could be done by the end of the weekend if I don’t let myself get too busy or too distracted (though my homework could lead to some busy-work or distraction, so that’s something to calculate in).

So far, most of the editing has been taking out unnecessary words or changing certain things grammatically so that the story flows better. Also, I’ve noticed sentences that made sense to me three months ago at the end of the first draft make no sense to me now, so I have to do a lot of rewriting when I encounter those sentences, occasionally adding to my word count.

But I’m enjoying rediscovering the story I wrote from June to Decenber 2012, and seeing how fast-paced and at certain times shocking the story can be. I’m going to try to keep this up, and rewrite the final battle scene to be more exciting and less unrealistic, at least to me. But first, I have to get through Part IV, which has sone of the longer chapters in the story (and that’s saying something, considering the longest chapters are between 8 and 10 pages).

I’ll have more updates as time goes on. Wish me luck.

Snake: Editing the Prologue Through Part II

Posted: March 6, 2013 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Since Saturday night I’ve been working on editing Snake, my serial killer thriller that I wrote over a period of six months last year. I took a break from it after I finished the last chapter in December and worked on several other projects, including The Quiet Game, in order so that when I returned to Snake again to edit it, I could look at it with fresh eyes.

So far I’ve been happy with the eyes I’m looking at it. For example, I”m seeing some things I wrote last time that I’m not too satisfied with, particularly in terms of phrasing. I’ve had to rewrite a few sections just to make it sound right in my head. I’ve also realized how disturbing I’ve made that novel, as last night’s post proved. And I also learned how fast-paced my novel is. I mean, the novel takes palce over several weeks, but it seems to be going so fast, going from event to event to event with a rabbit-like swiftness. If you have the free time, you could probably get through Snake in a couple of days.

So far I’ve gotten through thirty-five chapters, and I’m onto Part III, which is the longest part of Snake with twenty-nine chapters. If I can get through it in the same amount of time as I did with the first thirty-five chapters, I might be done with the second draft by the end of spring break, give or take a day or two. After that, I’ll hand Snake off to my beta reader, who’ll hopefully have the time to get through all the chapters in a timely fashion.

I hope.

I’ll let you guys know as things develop. Wish me luck.

I Was Disturbed This Evening

Posted: March 5, 2013 in Novel, Progress Report, Reflections, Scary Stuff, Writing
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I was editing a chapter of Snake this evening, when the Snake is torturing his third victim for information (on what, you ask? Read the book when it comes out). At some point during this chapter, the Snake becomes incensed by something his victim says to him and retaliates in a most gruesome manner. The thing is, I didn’t remember that I’d written that part the way I’d written it, which was fast, unforeseen, and totally horrifying in its inhumanity. It disturbed me a little, and I wrote the bloody scene over the summer! (By the way, no pun intended when I say “bloody”)

This is pretty ironic, seeing as I pride myself on being immune to most scenes of horror and death in fiction. But it also points out something: if I can be disturbed by a scene I created in a story I wrote, even just a little, and I knew that scene was coming, then what would the reaction be of someone who didn’t see it coming, and isn’t as desensitized to these sort of things as I am? I get a little excited just thinking about it.

It makes me wonder if I’ll be disturbed by any other scenes I’ve written in this thriller novel of mine. There are quite a few more murder and torture scenes to go through, so the likelihood is high that I might see something and feel a little twinge of horror, disgust, or queasiness. But if I do, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, I write horror stories primarily, so if even I feel a little reaction from going over and editing a scene, I think that means I’m doing something right.

It can also point to how disturbed I am as a writer and possibly as a person, the way I have a character killed or how I describe the monsters in the story or how I build up to a terrifying conclusion in a certain scene. Critics will definitely wonder if I’m depraved (always possible), if I was traumatized as a child (yes I was, I wrote a post on it last year) or if I’m trying to corrupt my readers with this vile stuff I write (objection! I seek only to share and entertain while making a little money where I can).  But hey, if Stephen King and Anne Rice and Edgar Allen Poe can write some of the same stuff and survive the scathing criticism, why can’t I?

Besides, there are certain things those same writers above wrote that I do not plan to write (if you haven’t read Stephen King’s IT, please go to the Wikipedia page and read the last sentence of the second-to-last paragraph of the section titled 1957-1958 under Plot. You’ll understand what I mean). Even I have lines I won’t cross, though sometimes they don’t seem obvious to others.

Well, I’ll continue editing Snake and seeing what I find. Hopefully I’ll be able to find some more scenes, be disturbed when it’s necessary, and touch up some scenes to be more disturbing if I think it’s needed. Hopefully I’ll be able to create a novel that will catch on and cause a wave and be praised for its disturbing/thrilling/insert-advective-here aspects. That’s the dream, at least.

In the meantime though, I have to get ready for bed. I’ve got Abnomal Pyschology class in the morning, definitely one of my favorites, and I want to be awake when we discuss treating bipolar disorder. Good night, everybody.

Snake: Starting The Second Draft

Posted: March 3, 2013 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written about my serial killer thriller Snake, which is about a serial killer hunting down the members of a mafia family in New York City. But yes, as you can tell from the title, I’m working on the second draft. I’m happy to say, I’m getting through it rather speedily, clearing through fourteen chapters in a little less than twenty-four hours. Then again, most of the chapters are less than ten pages, so the fact that I’ve only cleared fourteen chapters in a single day may earn me some accusations of laziness.

Moving on.

So, I’ve gone through fourteen chapters, and so far it’s mostly been polishing up phrasing and grammar. Yes, there have been entire sections of the story that have been rewritten so far, but only one or two, and those entire sections have been small. I’ve also noticed some inconsistencies in what I’ve written at certain points and what I’ve written at certain other points, so I’ve been correcting that when I’ve seen it.

But I’m happy with what I have so far. The entire novel is ninety-something chapters, but I think if I work hard and don’t get too distracted, I should be done in a week or two (thank goodness spring break is coming up). Wish me luck, and I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Snake: Adding in the Russian

Posted: February 16, 2013 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything about my serial killer novel Snake, but I’m happy to announce I finally got around to doing something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now: add in the Russian.

For those of you who weren’t around during the six months from June-December 2012, Snake follows the Snake, a serial killer that goes after members of a Mafia family for reasons mentioned only in the novel (and not on this blog; that’d give away the whole darn plot). The Snake also speaks Russian, a language I have no heads or tails for, comrades. So I asked a friend of mine I know through OSU’s organization for Jewish students, OSU Hillel, to help me because he’s a native Russian speaker.

Yesterday, my friend sent me some translations and transliterations of the English phrases I sent him, showing me what the phrases I’d written in English looked like in Russian with English characters. I inserted them into the story, and now I don’t have to do anything till I actually start the second draft of Snake next month. I’ll probably add some more Russian in then, but until then, I don’t think I’ll bother my friend.

In hte meantime, I have to go out for a few minutes and take a photo that I’ll use and modify to create the cover for my upcoming collection of short stories, The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones. Sure it’s cold and it’s late, but this photo needs to be taken at night, I only just got done with everything else, and I have an hour until SNL, so I’m good. Time to take some photos.

Do svidanya until I write next. Have a good night.

It’s The Year of the Snake (Is That A Coincidence?)

Posted: February 12, 2013 in Living and Life, Novel, Scary Stuff, Writing
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As many of you know, the Chinese New Year was celebrated recently, ushering in the Year of the Snake. As many of you also know, I recently wrote and completed a thriller novel called Snake, which is about a serial killer hunting mafioso. Since Snake will probably be published sometime before this time next year (hopefully), I thought it was a pretty strange but otherwise wonderful coincidence. Of course, the serial killer whom the novel is named after, the Snake, was probably born in the Year of the Rooster like myself, but still it’s a pretty cool coincidence.

And since it’s the Year of the Snake, I thought I’d give you a small sample of Snake, something to let you get a sense of one of my best written works to date (at least in my opinion). It’s from the first chapter, when one of the Snake’s first victims makes contact with the Snake over the phone. It’s creepy and I love it. Enjoy:

            Paul felt a buzz in his pocket and looked down. Through the fabric in his pants Paul could see the light from his phone shining through. Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and dove into a little alcove where he could take the call in peace. Without checking the number he pressed the talk button and brought the phone to his ear.

            “Hello?” said Paul; on the other end all he could hear was a deep breathing. Paul raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Who is this?” He checked the caller ID, and saw only UNKNOWN NUMBER.

            Suddenly the person at the other end of the phone spoke. “Men in your line of business have no right to be in a church, Mr. Sanonia.”

            Paul stared at the phone, surprised. Glancing quickly around the church, he saw only three people, and none of them were on their phones. How did this person know where he was and how did he get his number? He looked back at the phone and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Who the fuck is this?”

            The man on the other end laughed, a rich, hearty laugh that for some reason chilled Paul’s skin. “When your cousin James Sanonia died, he was shot in the head.” said the man, his voice deep and affected with a heavy Russian accent. “Then several bones were broken all over his body. He was then taken from wherever he was killed and thrown in the Hudson. Dockworkers saw his body floating and pulled him up out of the water. By the time they got him though, there was nothing to identify your cousin’s murderer. Except for one interesting detail, that is.”

            Paul froze, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Who was this guy? How did he know all that? “And what was that detail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

            The man spoke, and Paul froze. “You killed my cousin.” he hissed angrily. “You killed Jamie.”

            “Horrible thing, wasn’t it?” said the Russian man. “I couldn’t get what I wanted out of your cousin. But I’m sure you’ll be much more helpful.”

            Paul was only half-listening; he was looking around the church, trying to find someone—anyone!—on a phone. One of the other worshippers, a teenage girl with a skirt too short for the cold February weather, walked out of the church while texting. Besides her, no one else seemed to have a phone.

            “Where the fuck are you, you crazy shit!” Paul whispered into the phone. “Come on out and face me like a man!”

            “But there is no fun in that.” replied the Russian man. “Besides, you’re so much more amusing to watch.”

            Paul stepped out of the alcove, looking around the church. “Watch?” he repeated.

            “Oh, didn’t I mention it?” asked the Russian man. “I’m right in the church with you.”

Is Someone Actually Searching For the Snake?

Posted: December 27, 2012 in Living and Life, Novel, Writing
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Remember when I said in my last post that it was possible someone was searching for articles about the Snake? Well, something interesting just happened: I went to my Stats page, and I find someone was referred to my blog after putting in the search terms “Camerlengo Mafia”. I was shocked, because Camerlengo–meaning “chamerlain” in Italian–is the name of the mafia family whose members the Snake stalks and attacks. Now, beyond this blog, I haven’t really discussed the Snake in great detail to anyone beyond that he’s a serial killer who hunts the mafia. I haven’t shown anyone the first draft, and I only told the psychologist the name of the mafia family when I gave him the Snake’s history in order to form a diagnosis (which, by the way, turned out that the Snake doesn’t fit a single diagnosis).

I wondered if this was some sort of strange coincidence, so I went to Google and typed in “camerlengo mafia” myself. To my surprise, the only other articles beside mine were Wikipedia articles about various mafioso and cardinals, and a few Italian dictionaries that involved words like “mafia” and “camerlengo” appearing in the same section. So someone’s been searching for the Camerlengo Family, possibly to see if there’s an actual family by that name (and if there is, they don’t have a website), and lately I’ve been getting a lot of hits from Russia that coincide on days when either Snake articles are being read and the search terms either involve the word “snake” or the Cyrillic word for snake. I’m no detective, but I’m starting to wonder if this is somehow all connected.

If it is, I find it a little flattering that someone’s looking for the Snake so much. Hopefully I ‘ll get the novel out soon, but I don’t plan to start editing for a little while yet. Be patient though; I’ll have something out soon, God willing, and perhaps it’ll feature a serial killer who speaks Russian and uses Russian torture techniques.

Oh, and if there is someone who is searching for the Snake, and that person stumbles across this blog post, thanks for visiting and feel free to leave a comment. Just make sure it’s in English when you comment, because I’m not sure if a comment in Cyrillic will be translated or sorted as spam.

The Things Most Often Looked At On My Blog

Posted: December 27, 2012 in Living and Life
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I’ve been writing this blog for about a year and a half, give or take a few weeks, and I’ve had plenty of people on my blog, especially after Anne Rice linked my review of The Wolf Gift to her Facebook. However since this summer I’ve noticed some trends on my Stats page that I have to share with you guys, just because they are searched often and because I think it’s interesting that so many people (or perhaps the same people) keep returning to these particular blog posts.

The first is that a lot of people are searching for “old dolls”, “evil dolls”, “creepy dolls”, “dolls with souls”, and other variations of those search terms. Now, this past summer I did write a short story that involved a living doll. Granted, it was a piece of crap compared to some of my other work, and I don’t think I’ll be taking another look at it any time soon. However I wrote a couple of blog posts about it, each with a photo of some spooky or scary-looking doll on it. I can’t tell for certain how many times people have done these searches, but I do think that it’s at least once a week. So are people trying to get their hands on these cursed dolls? Are people just researching them? Or is there a doll out there that’s very good at hunt-and-peck and is trying to find out more about itself? If it’s that last one, I’m sorry if you were offended by those scary pictures. I did not mean to characterize you as a monster, I was just giving my readers what they want.

The other thing I’ve noticed is that someone or someones from Russia are looking at some of the old articles for my serial killer novel Snake a lot. Every time I see that an old Snake article has been looked at, I’d say there’s a possibly fifty-fifty chance that Russia is a bright orange on my Stats page. In addition, I often see search terms like “snake basilisk outline” or “how to snake outline”, and even more interesting, I’ve been seeing search terms in Cyrillic lately, always the same four letters. I ran them through an online Russian dictionary, and I got the definitions “snake, serprent”. This morning in fact, three people from Russia have been viewing my blog, two search terms in Cyrillic were used that contained the word for snake, and there was even a search term that said “snake part iii done”, one of the posts that had been viewed this morning. I think this may have something to do with the fact that the Snake speaks Russian and uses old torture techniques associated with the Russian mob. Perhaps someone in Russia is trying to find out more about the Snake and is getting interested in the novel. Or perhaps someone in the Russian mob is mad I’m using some of their old history for my own use.

God, I hope it’s the first one. I’d rather not end up in the Ohio River or somewhere with a bullet in my head and concrete on my feet.

What’s the most searched for things on your blogs? And what do you think it signifies?

Snake: First Draft Done

Posted: December 16, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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I saved the best for last: a Biblical snake!

I don’t like doing online rants about gun control. It’s something I’m passionate about and that I wish more people backed, but I don’t like doing it. I prefer to talk about my writing, about the short stories and novels I write and the ideas I come up with. I love discussing the writing process and nitpicking my work and others’ work. Why else is my blog name Rami Ungar The Writer?

This is why I’m happy to say that this post isn’t about gun control or Newtown or asking people to contact their representatives. No, this post is about how I finally finished my thriller novel Snake, about a serial killer hunting mafioso in New York and the reason why he hunts them. It took me about six months and four days to write this novel, a personal best for me, and I’m really satisfied with this first draft. I think it starts out like a regular thriller in the respects of James Patterson or Stephen King, but then it morphs into something else, especially when we start to realize that the Snake, the titular killer, is actually the protagonist and not the antagonist!

How is this possible and why do I do this? Well, you’ll have to read the novel when it comes out to find out. However, that won’t be for a while; I first have to put off editing Snake for a few months. After I edit it, I’ll see if I can find someone who’ll take a look and critique it. If that happens, I’ll incorporate their suggestions into the text and then I’ll start the process of copyrighting the novel and then releasing it as an e-book online. Of course, no idea when that’ll happen, so don’t go onto Amazon looking for my name.

I enjoyed writing Snake; it was scary and exciting at the same time. The plot changed several times throughout the writing process, and it’ll probably change a bit more when I get to editing the story, but I think every change made the story better. I had the oppurtunity to write in ways I’d never written before, like writing a thriller instead of a regular science-fiction or horror novel and writing a sex scene that I planned to keep to the final draft. I also was challenged to write my female lead, whose head I sometimes had trouble getting into, and I got to practice writing fight scenes, which are not always my specialty.

All in all, this novel has a special place in my heart, and if I ever write a sequel (which I have an idea for), I will enjoy writing that too. Of course, it’ll be a long time before I write the sequel; my philosophy on sequels is to take a break and work on something else between books, or you’ll find yourself in a creative rut staying in the same fictional world for too long.

Now for the page and word count. Remember, I write my drafts in 12-point font, Times New Roman, and double-spaced. When the final version comes out, the page count will be a lot shorter. Now the Epilogue, the final part of the novel, was 23 pages and 5,164 words. Let’s add that to the other parts: the Prologue was 14 pages and 3,979 words; Part I is 41 pages and 10,177 words; Part II was 96 words and 23,801 words; Part III was 126 pags and 30,733 words; Part IV was 86 pages and 22,288 words; Part V was 29 pages and 7,576 words; and Part VI was 28 pages and 7,095 words. Total it all and…

Holy long thriller, Batman! This first draft ends at 443 pages and 110,813 words. Hope you like drawn-out storie, because I definitely succeeded in that capacity!

Well, I have to stop writing for now, because I have to get up early for work. But wait for tomorrow; I’ve got a special announcement to make. Thanks for staying with me so far and I hope to put Snake, my sci-fi novel Reborn City, and a whole bunch of other stuff, out soon.

Snake: Part VI Done!

Posted: December 14, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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I’M ON A ROLL!

Today, at around a quarter to four in the afternoon, I finished writing Part VI of Snake, two days after I finished the previous part! I had to cut out one chapter and combine two chapters as I was doing the writing, but that’s okay, because this part is awesome! I had an idea for a regular fight between the main antagonist and the Snake, but I changed it so that they fight not in an office or across the city, but in a controlled environment like in The Hunger Games. How did I do that? You’ll have to read the novel when I put it out to find that one out.

So now I have only four chapters in the Epilogue left, and then the first draft of this novel will be finished. Can I get a whoop-whoop?! Anyway, time to do a count-up (my favorite part of reporting the Parts are done). Remember, I write my drafts double-spaced, with 12-point Times New Roman font. When I finally publish this and Reborn City, they’ll probably be much smaller in terms of page count. Probably.

So, Part VI of Snake ends up being 28 pages and 7,095 words. Adding it to the rest of the Parts: the Prologue was 14 pages and 3,979 words; Part I was 41 pages and 10,177 words; Part II was 96 pages and 23,801 words; Part III was 126 pages and 30,733 words; Part IV was 86 pages and 22,288 words; and Part V was 29 pages and 7,576 words. Add it all up, and you get a staggering amount of 420 pages and 105,649 words. Does anyone want to place a bet on how long the first draft will be after I add the Epilogue?

Well, I’ll take a break till tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to spend time with my family and read some good books too.

Wish me luck.

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