Posts Tagged ‘blogging’

Followers of Fear, I just want to make you aware of one thing: ten years. Do you know how long that is in terms of Internet existence? In human life? Ten years ago, I was still fresh out of high school, so naive and with no idea about what the future may hold for me. I just hoped blogging would give me an audience so that when I finally released some fiction, there would be people eager to read it.

Well, that did end up happening. Over ten years, I did cultivate an audience who like what I write. If you’re reading this post, you’re one of them.

That being said, I got so much more from blogging. This blog, and the people who read it, have been here for all those ten years. Through college, first publications, trips to Europe, anxiety and depression and mental health struggles, job searches, jobs found, ups and downs, accomplishments and failures, and so much more. And I don’t know if I could’ve done all I did without you guys. This amazing community who have supported and encouraged me in my writing. I’m so thankful for all of you and can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me this past decade.

That being said, let me take a moment to brag and post some stats. Over ten years, this blog has acquired:

  • 1,840 posts
  • 123 thousand views
  • 1,324 followers (not counting those who come from other social media platforms)
  • Around 6,900 likes
  • Over 5,100 comments
  • And over 1.1 million words!

I guess no one can ever say I was lazy, can they?

But now, onto the juicy bits. I asked my Followers of Fear to participate in an Ask Me Anything, or an AMA, with one lucky participant getting a prize. And guess what? I got a few responses. So without further ado, let’s see what everyone wanted to know. After all, I promised.

Just don’t scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page to see if you won. Believe me, it won’t end well for you.

Okay, onto the questions!

Priscilla Bettis asks, “Where do you see your writing headed in the next five years? You know, like more Goth, more slasher, short stories, etc.”
Good question. Honestly, I’m hoping my writing allows me more time for writing. And if possible, I’d like to be able to work on a lot more short stories and novelettes, with at least a novel a year. As for what those novels and short stories are about, I can’t say right now. All I can say is, I have some fun ideas I can’t wait to work on. And I hope you’re excited to read them someday.

Alain Davis asks, “What is your most favorite/prized memory from visiting haunted attractions?”
You know, that’s a tough one. But I think my entire stay at the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast would have to be my choice. As much fun as my other experiences have been (and as much as I’m always up to visiting the Ohio State Reformatory), that one night at the Lizzie Borden House was a big deal for me and I keep wishing I had more time there. As well as more opportunities to experience ghostly phenomena.
Well, who knows? Maybe someday I’ll hold an event there. A book reading followed by an all-night ghost hunt. Anything’s possible, right?

Ronald Gillepsie asks, “Many authors create one character to base an entire series around (e.g. Ian Fleming with James Bond). This helps to ensure book sales and retain a readership. Are there any characters you’ve created which you would plan on expanding into a series? Alternatively, do you plan on writing a series?
PS I probably already know the answer to this with your Arthur character in Mother Of the King.”

Yeah, still working on that one. I’ve made progress on a sequel, but it’s something that I only do every now and then when I have the energy. As for other stories, maybe the Snake from the novel of the same name. I loved that character, I have ideas for sequels, and I would love to work on them. However, I’ll need a lot more demand for sequels of Snake to even consider writing another Snake story.
That being said, I can see a shared universe being a thing. Characters from some stories appearing in other stories in varying capacities. It could be a lot of fun. I’ve actually already taken steps to do that. We’ll just have to see if any of those stories get published.

Iseult Murphy asks, “What keeps you writing on the days when you’re ready to give up? (Mounting rejections coming in, or a bad book review, or just a dark day when everything seems pointless and impossible).”
Well, as the beginning of this post made clear, my Followers of Fear keep me writing. Their love of my work and eagerness to read more keep me writing even at low points.
Also, while I love my day job, it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to write full-time, so you need to keep writing to make that happen. That’s a good motivator.
And I think if I stopped writing, I might die. At this point, it’s just a compulsion. I need to get these stories out if I’m going to survive.

Allen Huntsman asks, “what is the most useful writing advice you’ve ever received?”
I think it might be, “Don’t be afraid to try new stuff. Follow your interests. You never know what it’ll lead to.” Did my dad tell me that? I think he did. Thanks, Abba. You do have the odd pearl of wisdom every now and then, don’t you?

Well, those are all the questions I received. Now onto the winner.

IF YOU SCROLLED DOWN HERE TO FIND OUT WHO WON THE PRIZE WITHOUT READING WHAT CAME BEFORE, THEN GET BACK UP THERE! YOU HAVE A LOT TO READ BEFORE WE GET TO THAT POINT, AND THE WINNER ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE. SO SCROLL UP AND GET READING! THAT CLEAR? GOOD. SEE YOU WHEN YOU’RE DONE READING.

Okay, if you actually read through all that, then let’s talk about the winner of the special prize. The winner is…Alain Davis! Congratulations Alain, you have won the following prize.

That’s right, you’ve won a copy of each of my chapbooks and an Aztec death whistle. I own one myself that’s not too different from this one, so you and I can both summon dead Aztec spirits now. I’ll be contacting you soon to get your mailing address.

And to all the other participants, thank you for your questions. I had a lot of fun reading and answering them. And thank you all once again for continuing to support me through thick and thin. It means a lot to me.

And if you’d like to continue to support me beyond just following and reading my blog/social media, I’ll leave links below for my stories. That’ll include “Into the Deep,” “The Dark Sire,” and “House of Stitched” magazine. After all, purchasing and reading those ensure those publications and their publishers continue to release new work, which just benefits everyone.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’m so glad you could celebrate this major milestone with me. Now if you need me, I’ll be drinking some good wine later and just generally having a good time. Until next time, good night and pleasant nightmares!

House of Stitched Magazine Fall 2021 Issue: Blurb.com, Amazon

The Dark Sire, Issue 8: Print

Into the Deep: Ebook, Paperback

The Quiet Game: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iBooksSmashwords, and Kobo.

Rose: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Audible

Snake: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Barnes & Noble, iBooksSmashwords, and Kobo

Agoraphobia: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada

Mother of the King: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada

Last night, I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a while and record myself reading aloud from one of my stories. Why? Because I have two stories coming out one after the other, so I thought it would be a good way to drum up interest in them. However, because longer (and effect-laden) videos take longer to upload to YouTube, this is the first chance I’ve had to post about it.

So, without further ado, here’s me reading from “Cressida,” which is in Into the Deep, and “Blood and Paper Skin,” which will be The Dark Sire starting with Issue 8 on July 31st.

How about that, huh? I still can’t figure out how to have multiple texts throughout the video, but I managed to add music and other effects throughout. Did what showed up at the end surprise anyone?

And if you weren’t able to watch the full video, here’s a quick rundown of all the pieces of news I mentioned after the reading from “Blood and Paper Skin:”

  • Into the Deep is available now for download. Last I checked, the ebook is still the only version available. If the paperback version isn’t available by Tuesday, I’ll email the publisher and see what’s up. In the meantime, you can check out the ebook of Into the Deep now with this link. If you decide to read it, please let the publisher and me know what you thought (especially of my story “Cressida”).
  • “Blood and Paper Skin” will be released in The Dark Sire, Issues 8-10. I’m very excited about this. The first issue, Issue 8, will be released on Saturday, July 31st. I really hope you’ll check out the magazine when the story comes out and will let people know what you think. I’ll post a link when the time comes.
  • As previously stated, an essay I wrote will be in House of Stitched Magazine next month. This is an essay on a trope I’ve noticed in horror, the broken child, and I’m very excited for the issue to feature my essay. Especially considering the great authors whose stories are in the issue as well. I’ll be sure to post a link when the time comes, so keep an eyes out!
  • My short story “The Divorce from God” will be in The Jewish Book of Horror this holiday season. I’m very excited to be contributing to Jewish literature this way! And obviously, I hope you’ll pick the book up once it’s available later this year. After all, Jewish-influenced horror is pretty rare. Especially when so many writers have been influenced by Christianity, let alone horror writers. I’d love to see what you think.
  • The Pure World Comes is getting published!!! I know you’re very much aware of this, but it bears repeating. My novel The Pure World Comes will be released through the Readict novel app hopefully in the near future. I don’t have an exact date, but I’ve been communicating with Readict’s staff this whole week, so we’re chugging along. Hopefully things continue to go well and I can update you in the near future.
  • I’ll be at Bibliophile Books in Dover, OH, on July 31st for an author event! Turns out, the editor of The Dark Sire is from Ohio, as are several of the authors in Issue 8. And in order to draw up some more interest, they’re hosting an author event at the bookstore. Authors who can make it will read short excerpts from their work, answer questions, and sign copies of Issue 8, as well as their own books. I’m looking forward to heading out there and maybe meeting some new readers. Not to mention meeting some of my fellow writers! Be there from 11 AM – 1 PM if you can!
  • I’m still going to Indie Author Book Expo Aurora this September. Remember, this will be held in Aurora, Illinois on September 11 at the Prisco Community Center from 10 AM – 3 PM. There will be all sorts of awesome authors to check out, as well as great books. I hope you’ll be able to come if you can. You can find out more here.

In addition, I inserted another reminder that I’ll be celebrating my ten-year blogging anniversary next month and will be hosting an Ask Me Anything, or AMA, in honor of the occasion. If you would like to participate, you can submit questions to my email address, ramiungar@ramiungarthewriter.com, until 11:59 PM on July 28th. One lucky participant will even win a prize! I look forward to reading and answering your questions.

Anyway, that’s the content of the video. I hope you enjoyed it if you watched it, and I hope the updates were helpful.

I’ll be back later tonight with a review, so I hope you check that out when it’s released. Until next time, my Followers of Fear, good night and pleasant nightmares!

Another summer, and another Riley Sager novel has released. Not surprisingly, they’re kind of best when they’re a once-a-year treat. Still, leading up to getting his latest novel, Survive the Night, I heard a lot of mixed reviews on this one. Some loved the novel, other thought it wasn’t as good as his previous novels. When I got the novel, I started as soon as I could, eager to see what my own opinion was.

Taking on the horror trope of driving with a serial killer this time around, Survive the Night follows Charlie, a college student who loses her best friend in the worst way imaginable. Wanting to get away from school and all the reminders, Charlie signs up to share a ride with someone heading to her hometown in Ohio (woo-hoo!). However, she starts to wonder if her driver might not be all he says he is. If he might be a notorious serial killer. And if she might be his next target.

I’m not going to lie, I didn’t enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed Sager’s previous works.

The opening third is quite good. There’s great setup for Charlie and her situation, as well as some great tension. When Charlie’s mental health is brought into the equation, it adds to the tension (though not in a negative way). And there’s a strong sense of unreality here. What’s real and what isn’t?

Plus there are the usual Riley Sager twists and reveals that we don’t see coming, and some of those are quite good. And the final fifty pages has some great scenes that kept me from putting the book down. Especially the second-to-last reveal.

However, the second and third halves really faltered. Some of the twists and reveals came too early or just felt silly, ruining the tension of the story and making me roll my eyes. One of the early reveals made me say out loud, “Really? Really? Way to ruin the mood!”

Other stuff just undid my suspension of disbelief, especially near the end. And in the early chapters, I felt like there were abrupt changes from past to present tense, which distracted me.

On a scale of 1 to 5, I’m giving Survive the Night by Riley Sager a 3.1 out of 5. Not the best of his work by any means (that goes to Lock Every Door, and I hope the adaption of that book comes sooner rather than later). Still, it’s not terrible. Some of the choices Sager makes in the book that didn’t work for me might work for other readers. And he definitely kept the novel from becoming a cliched story given what trope the story is based on.

And it got me interested in checking out the movie Shadow of a Doubt, which is where Charlie’s name comes from. Can’t complain about that.

It just didn’t work for me as a novel. And while that’s not a bad thing, it is what I’m reporting.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’ll surely have two more blog posts out by the end of this week. Hopefully you’re not sick of me crowding your inbox by then.

Until next time, pleasant nightmares and be careful when driving with strangers.


Again, a reminder: I’ll be celebrating my ten-year blogging anniversary next month. To celebrate, I’ll be doing an Ask Me Anything, or AMA, on my blog. And one lucky participant will win a prize for participating! Just submit your question to ramiungar@ramiungarthewriter.com by 11:59 PM on July 28th, 2021. Looking forward to reading yoru questions!

Some of you may recall a few months back that I wrote a story called “Cressida,” a horror story centering around a mermaid. Yeah, you read that right. A horror story centering around a mermaid. Specifically, the story revolves around a young man finding out his uncle is keeping a mermaid in his basement. I can now say that Cressida will be published this month in the anthology Into the Deep from Jazz House Publications!

Ooh, look at this cover! It’s so scary and cool, it’s kind of sexy. I’m honored to have a story being released in a book with such a cover.

Also, fun fact: I got the acceptance for “Cressida” on my birthday last month. Yeah, really. I was really surprised by the timing. I had just gotten out of my birthday party at the bowling alley, got to my car, and was about to pull up the GPS app on my phone when I saw the response from the publisher. I think I almost screamed in my car. Definitely one of the best birthday presents I got that day.

Anyway, I’m really excited for all of you to read “Cressida.” While I wasn’t comfortable saying so when I finished the first draft, I can confidently say this story is some of my best work so far. Hopefully, you’ll think so too.

Not only that, but I’m excited to read the anthology! I’ve read some of the tweets other authors in Into the Deep have put out, and their elevator pitches of their stories have me excited. They’ll make you do what the tagline above says, and “beware what lies below.”

Ooh! I think I just felt a shiver up my spine!

So, as the graphic above states, Into the Deep will be out in less than two weeks. I’ll post links then if you want to get a copy. And if you like what you read, please make sure to post a review somewhere so others know what you think and can decide if they want to check out the anthology too.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. It’s late, so I’ll be heading to bed soon. Big thank you to Jazz House Publications for making “Cressida” part of this anthology. I can’t wait to crack open a copy and “dive” right in. Come on, that was good and you know it!

Until next time, good night, pleasant nightmares, and may Lord Cthulhu, the High Priest of the Deep Waters, bless you from his throne in R’lyeh.


One more thing: I’ll be celebrating my ten-year blogging anniversary next month. To celebrate, I’m having an Ask Me Anything, or an AMA, on this blog. If you want to participate, send an email to ramiungar@ramiungarthewriter.com with your question and where you’re from and I’ll answer it. And one lucky participant will win a prize for submitting a question!

All questions should be sent no later than 11:59 PM on July 28th, 2021. I look forward to receiving your questions, Followers of Fear. Knowing you all, you’ll come up with some good ones.

Netflix has been marketing this as the movie event of the summer, a trilogy of films based on the books by RL Stine (which I have not read, so I can’t tell how faithful it is to the books). While I’m more tempted to call the movie adaptation of In the Heights the movie event of the summer (prove me wrong!), I was willing to dive in and check the first film of the trilogy out.

It also gave me an opportunity to remind you all that in 1994, I was only a year old. Yeah, that’s right. I turned a year old in 1994. Plenty of you reading this blog are old! And you’re welcome for the reminder.

Taking place in 1994, Fear Street Part One takes place in the town of Shadyside, which is famous for its bloody massacres every 10-20 years. After a massacre at the local mall, teenagers from Shadyside get into a dispute with their counterparts from the more prosperous city of Sunnyvale. This has deadly consequences, as the violence ends up waking the spirit of Sarah Fier, a witch who cursed Shadyside over three centuries ago. And if they’re not careful, all of them will end up dead.

For a slasher, it’s not just a lot of fun. It’s well-written! For one thing, the characters are given quite a lot of development, given the film is less than two hours. I honestly forgot these kids were actors and actually believed they were these characters. Thus, I felt their pain and emotions when they went through interpersonal drama, as well as their own terror.

Not to mention, the writing for this movie was above-average. After a certain point in the plot, the film could have done a very simple, by-the-numbers plot, but they managed to include several plot twists and new directions that I wasn’t expecting. Combined with the great actors, the film not shying away from some seriously brutal violence, and a lack of distracting CGI, and the film ends up pretty good.

That being said, it wasn’t anything extraordinary. It was fun, but it won’t become anything classic like other horror films I could name. And some parts of the plot were kinda predictable by their tropiness. Not a bad thing, but still rather predictable.

On a scale of 1 to 5, I’ll give Fear Street Part One: 1994 an even 4. I would give it a higher score, but I don’t want to make this movie seem bigger than it is. Still, it’s an enjoyable slasher and I look forward to seeing how they continue the story in Part Two: 1978 (yeah, you’d think it’s a prequel, but technically it’s not). I’ll let you all know as soon as I see it what I think of it.


Just a reminder, Followers of Fear: my ten-year blogging anniversary is coming up, so I’m marking the occasion with an AMA! Between now and 11:59 PM on July 28th, 2021, I’ll be accepting (almost) any question you send me. And one lucky questioner will be given a special prize for submitting their question! Just send an email to ramiungar@ramiungarthewriter.com with your question and where you’re from. I look forward to reading and answering your questions very soon.

I look forward to hearing from you all. Good night, pleasant nightmares, and remember to look up the local fireworks ordinances in your area before setting them off this weekend. For all you know, your patriotic celebration could be illegal because you don’t have a license, like in Ohio. Some of my neighbors are going to learn that the hard way.

Damn, that title’s a mouthful!

Still, it’s the truth. In one month, on August 2nd, 2021, I will mark the ten-year anniversary of when I started this blog. And in honor of this momentous occasion, I thought I would do something fun. An Ask Me Anything, or AMA. All you Followers of Fear will have the opportunity to ask me questions and get some answers (assuming the questions are appropriate, of course).

But this isn’t just any AMA. Oh no, that would be too dull. No. This will be an AMA with a prize!

That’s right. One lucky Follower of Fear will receive a special prize for submitting a question to the AMA. And no, Iseult, it’s not a dragon bat! Not even a baby one. Trust me, even small ones would be too much for most people to handle.

Rather, this prize will be a surprise (or is that sur-prize?). You’ll have to wait till August 2nd to find out what the prize is and who the winner will be.

As for how to participate in the AMA, here are the directions. Just send an email with your question (just one question per person, mind you) and where you’re from to my email address, ramiungar@ramiungarthewriter.com. Use the subject “Ten Year Anniversary AMA.” Send them in by 11:59 PM on July 28th, 2021. Prize winner will be announced at the end of the AMA post.

Or posts, if this thing gets a lot of questions. You never know.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I hope you’ll participate and ask some awesome, silly, mysterious, thoughtful, penetrating, strange, and/or universe-destroying questions.

Until next time, good night and pleasant nightmares!

Across the plains of the imagination,
What terrifying creature
With head and neck of snake and body of a thousand arms and eyes
Slithers forward to the realms of reality,
Waiting to be spread?

Anticipation builds.
Come forth, child, pathogen of the mind.
You are wanted and desired.
Naglaeria fowleri, this imposter, envies how you burrow
Into the heads of all who come upon you.

The poem reappears, and the poem grows. It’ll be done when a certain project comes to fruition. Whenever that is. So the longer the poem gets, the longer this project is taking. Let’s hope I can post the final verse soon, shall we?

Also, sorry I’ve been so quiet since last Sunday and haven’t posted anything since. There’s plenty going on behind the scenes that I can’t speak of yet, including the above project. Doing so before it’s time would just be problematic. But I’m hard at work on stories and finding them home.

And I can guarantee, this July will have several blog posts. Announcements and anniversaries, reviews and maybe even a musings on various aspects of writing and horror. Also, probably one essay on an issue this country is facing right now, but I’m having someone check that one over before I publish it.

Anyway, plenty coming up, so get excited. Until next time, my Followers of Fear, good night and pleasant nightmares!

Me and my roommate Jonesy in my old apartment.

Funny story: earlier this week, I found out I lost some weight, even though I hadn’t expected it (if anything, I thought I gained). I’m talking to my dad about it and say, “I’ve no idea what happened. I’ll have to watch my weight carefully for a while. Make sure I’m not going through something like out of Stephen King’s Thinner.”

My dad has never read a Stephen King novel in his life. His response was, “…okay.”

Me: “Trust me, it did not end well for the guy suddenly losing weight in that book.”

And if you count that as a spoiler, remember that book is nine years older than me. What were you doing these past thirty-seven years?

Okay, onto the meat of this post. The audience on this blog has been growing by leaps and bound lately. So first off, hi everyone. Thank you for joining the Followers of Fear. We don’t (normally) sacrifice members and there are hidden benefits to joining. Namely you’ll likely survive when I start the Apocalypse. Maybe.

Second, since there are so many of you, I thought you should know something about me and my works. First off, me: I’m a novelist from Ohio specializing in horror and dark fantasy. I like reading and writing, anime and horror movies, and being an unabashed eccentric. I also have three books and a short story on e-book available right now, so if you don’t mind (and if it doesn’t make you want to unfollow me), I’d like to tell you about those books. You know, in case you’re interested.

I won’t mention the e-book, though. I did that last post.

The Quiet Game: Five Tales to Chill Your Bones

In his publishing debut, Rami Ungar brings us five terrifying stories of darkness in magic. You can experience the strange visions of a man battling sex addiction in “Addict”. Or feel the wrath of an enraged dybbuk in “Samson Weiss’s Curse”. Face your fears in Gene Adkin’s Murder House in “I’m Going To Be The Next James Bond” and then journey with a young autistic “In The Lady Ogre’s Den”. But most of all, prepare to play the most insidious game of all: The Quiet Game.

My second foray into self-publishing. While a lot of these stories aren’t as scary or as well-polished as some of my later work, I think they’re still enjoyable to a degree. Plus, I had a lot of fun writing these stories. Give it a shot if you’re interested.

Available on Amazon, Createspace, Barnes & Noble, iBooksSmashwords, and Kobo.

Snake

How far will you go for love and revenge? When a young man’s girlfriend is kidnapped by the powerful Camerlengo Family, he becomes the Snake, a serial killer who takes his methods from the worst of the Russian mafia. Tracking down members of the Camerlengo Family one by one for clues, the Snake will go to any lengths to see the love of his life again…even if it means becoming a worse monster than any of the monsters he is hunting.

A homage to my burgeoning love to slashers, too many James Patterson novels, and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, this was another one I had fun with. It’s also, too date, my longest book, over 100,00 words! And yet, people still find it a quick read. Must be the fast pace. Anyway, check it out if you like unusual tales about serial killers in your diet.

Available on AmazonCreatespace, Barnes & Noble, iBooksSmashwords, and Kobo

Rose

Rose Taggert awakens in a greenhouse with no clear memory of the past two years and, to her horror, finds her body transformed into an unrecognizable form.
Paris Kuyper has convinced Rose that they are lovers, and as Paris could not bear for her to die, he has used an ancient and dark magic to save her from certain death.
But the dark magic Paris has used comes at a price. A price which a terrible demon is determined to extract from Rose.
As Rose struggles to understand what is happening to her, she must navigate Paris’s lies and secrets; secrets that Paris will do anything to protect.

I wrote this novel back in my last year of college as my thesis. It took five years, and more rewrites than I care to remember, but the novel was accepted by Castrum Press, my first novel with a publisher (and hopefully not the last). And you know what? Nearly two years later, it only just got its first one-star review! Yeah, that’s a record (and something I hold as a badge of pride). I think that makes it worth a try, don’t you?

Rose: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Audible


So, those are my published works. And I hope to follow them up with plenty more. And while I work on those, I hope you’ll consider not only checking out these stories, but letting me know what you think once you’ve read them. I love getting reader feedback, no matter what that feedback is, and it helps me out in the long run.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m off to get a lot of sleep. Followers of Fear, stay safe, have a great weekend, and pleasant nightmares!

What a mouthful of a title. Let me explain:

Back in college (I want to say 2012), when featured blog posts were advertised to WordPress users under the feature “Freshly Pressed,” I read a blog post from a father who recently had a run-in with someone else’s spawn. I can’t remember much about the blog post in question. I can’t remember the blog or blog post’s name, the blog’s general theme, or anything of that sort. However, one detail stands out in my memory and it’s why I’m writing this blog post:

After reprimanding another person’s child for selfish (and maybe violent? I can’t remember that well) behavior at a children’s playground, the child’s mother came to apologize. And the parent described the mother’s face as “crunchy.” You read that right, crunchy. For someone’s face.

I tried pressing the author in the comments about what he meant by “crunchy.” What makes a woman’s face crunchy? But no matter how much I tried or he tried, he couldn’t describe it better than “crunchy.” I’m guessing he doesn’t spend a lot of time trying to understand the meanings of adjectives in order to mix and match them in stories and not use the same word over and over again. That’s more of a creative writer thing, not a parent blogging about their experiences kind of thing.

Anyway, I put the issue aside, but every now and then, I would come back to it and wonder how you could describe someone’s face as “crunchy.” About two weeks ago, I decided to finally search for answers and decided to discuss it with my various writers’ groups online. And I got some feedback that proved quite helpful.

Among my writer friends and colleagues, there were three main responses:

  • The author really meant “scrunchy,” not “crunchy.” This would make more sense, as it’s easier to visualize someone’s face scrunch up.
  • He meant she was a crunchy-type person, as in a sort of neo-hippie that eats granola and lots of other natural foods that are crunchy when eaten (hence the nickname).
  • The person’s face was so covered in lines, that you could almost hear those lines crunching whenever their face moved.

Honestly, given that I mainly asked horror authors for their feedback, I’m surprised that only one person made a wisecrack about cannibalism, and the woman’s face looking like a crunchy snack. Like a Cheetos snack or a Crunch bar.

And now I’m hungry. Dammit.

What people tend to think of when they hear the word “crunchy.” Not in regards to people’s faces.

Anyway, of the responses listed above, it was a variation of the last one that rang right to me. One author commented that she’d seen people whose skin texture was like cornflakes due to too much exposure to the sun and applying too much beige make-up to “make up” for it. Given my vague memories of the original blog post and the context the author used for the woman he was conversing with, this felt right. In fact, it lines up with the image I conjure in my head when I think of the woman from this blog post.

So, that’s the description I’m going with. In fact, I’ve already figured out how I could work it into a story someday, as well as which story I’d like to use it in. And perhaps which foolish person who got on my bad side and received the ultimate punishment of getting a hateful character based on them to use the description on.*

But damn, it was a crazy trip just to get to the right description. At least I finally found a description that works for me and I can work into a story someday. And I got to write a blog post that hopefully was edifying and enjoyable. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday morning, right?

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I hope this post was amusing. So, until next time, what are some other weird or mystifying descriptors you’ve come across in your reading? Any that you’ve struggled to find an answer for? Let’s discuss.

And until next time, stay safe, pleasant nightmares, and no eating people’s faces off. It’s generally frowned upon in Western society.

*Don’t mess with me. My retribution is not only dangerous and eternal, but safe from lawsuits owing to that little clause in the copyright section stating it’s a work of fiction and that any connections to real persons, places or events are just coincidences.

My friend and fellow blogger whose tastes are way different than mine, Kat Impossible, tagged anyone who was interested in doing this tag. It sounded fun and informative, so I thought I would give it a try. It took me a while to get around to writing my own version and answering the questions–Kat’s post came out right after I got back from my trip, and I had a few posts to write before this one–but it’s finally out.

All credit goes to The Long Voyage for the original version of this tag. You can read it here.

NEVER HAVE I EVER…

…started a novel that I did not finish.

Before age 12 or 13? All the time. I wrote maybe five or six novels (which probably had word counts of short stories or novelettes at most) that didn’t get finished. There was a pirate story, a Frankenstein story, a caveman story, and a few zombie stories. Finally started getting some vampire stories to completion in middle school. I think it was a problem of focus and interest, rather than the story themselves. Then again, I was so young. Youngsters aren’t very good at staying focused on goals without seeing immediate gains from all their hard work.

More recently, I have some short stories and novelettes that I started in the past two years and stopped working on after awhile. Still figuring out why, but I think they may have leaned a little too far from horror and into dark fantasy to keep my interest. It’s sad, but what are you going to do?

…written a story completely by hand.

I did once! And it wasn’t one of those cute, two or three-page school assignments, either. One of my teenage attempts at novel-writing, a vampire novel called Mahiro, was written entirely by hand for its first draft. I had, like, seven notebooks filled with vampire fighting. And subconscious exploration of my sexuality through homage to Anne Rice and the movie Van Helsing, but that only occurred to me after I realized my sexuality.

…changed tenses in the middle of a story.

I think the first couple of attempts at Rose were in the past tense. But on advice from my thesis advisor, I changed to present tense. It worked out in the end.

…not researched anything before starting a story.

Most of my earliest stories started out that way. It wasn’t until maybe high school that I started to do research, and I only got good at it around college, when research became important for passing classes and getting my degree.

…changed a protagonist’s name halfway through a draft.

I don’t think I have, actually. Maybe the surname of a minor character, but never a protagonist’s name, personal or surname.

…written a story in less than a month.

Several times. Especially this past year or so.

…fallen asleep while writing.

Never. When I get tired, I’ll just go to bed.

…corrected someone’s grammar in real life or online.

Too many times to count. It’s a bad habit of mine.

…yelled in all caps at myself in the middle of a novel.

Um…I don’t think so. Is that something people do?

…used “I’m writing” as an excuse.

I think so. I didn’t want to go somewhere with my dad and sisters, even though a friend of mine would’ve been there to play. I just had to write that day. I hope the friend didn’t take it personally!

…killed a character based on someone I know in real life.

More than once. In fact, it’s something I warn people I’ll do if they get on my bad side. In fact, there are two people on there now. I just have to find the right stories to place them in…

Don’t ever mess with me.

…used pop culture references in a story.

Oh, all the time! Game of Thrones was mentioned once or twice in Rose, the 1960s Batman TV show gets a mention in River of Wrath, and I include so many references to some of my favorite anime in Toyland. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

…written between 1 AM and 6 AM.

Plenty of times. I’m actually thinking of changing my sleep schedule so I could do it more often (like Franz Kafka did), but I worry about the effects on my health should I need to get back on a normal schedule.

…drank an entire pot of coffee while writing.

I hate coffee, so that’s a no. I’ll usually have tea or, if it’s a weekend, beer or wine.

German wheat beers are my favorite kind of beer.

…written down dreams to use in potential plots.

Yes. One early story from college, Daisy, was inspired by a dream. And I think a couple more have been, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head.

…published an unedited story online/Wattpad/blog.

Oh hell no! I know the importance of editing. It can literally save a story from being thrown into the trash.

…procrastinated on homework because I wanted to write.

I don’t think so. I’m pretty good about getting that stuff done so I have time to write later. Besides, that stuff can creep up on you if you’re not careful.

…typed so long my wrists hurt.

Only if I’m wearing my watch. Which is why I normally type with it off.

…spilled a drink on my laptop while writing.

Not while writing, but once. I aim to never let it happen again.

…forgot to save my work/draft.

Never! How dare you insinuate I have!

…laughed like an evil villain while writing a scene.

Um, yeah! All the time! And sometimes when I’m not writing. It’s me, come on!

…cried while writing a scene.

Not my thing.

…created maps of my fictional worlds.

No, because more often than not, my stories take place in this world. All I need is a Google search and I’m good.

FOLLOWERS OF FEAR, I TAG YOU!!!

If you want to try this, go right ahead. Just make sure to link back to me and to The Long Voyage. And, as always, have fun with it!

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I hope you’re having a good weekend so far. If I got at least twelve hours of sleep, I know I did. If you need me, I’ll be doing what I do best on weekends…whatever that is. Until next time, stay safe and pleasant nightmares!