#FirstLineFriday

Posted: November 20, 2015 in Scary Stuff, short story, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , ,

It’s Friday again, so you know what that means. It’s #FirstLineFriday! And it’s the 25th #FirstLineFriday done here on this blog. That’s right, 25 straight, continuous weeks of #FirstLineFriday since June. Which begs the question, how many of you are just sick and tired of this thing that I’m trying to turn into a blogging craze with mixed success?

Alright, here are the rules for #FirstLineFriday: you write a post titled “#FirstLineFriday” (hashtag included), you introduce the rules, and then you post the first one or two lines of a potential story, a story-in-progress, or a completed or published story. Then you ask your readers for their feedback.

This week’s entry is from the short story I finished earlier this week, “The Playroom.” As I said, this is a strange and creepy story, but I’m not sure you get that immediately from the way it starts. Anyway, enjoy:

Gloria Breck’s lower lip trembled as Todd Bruno regarded her pleasantly from the other side of his desk. On either side of Mr. Bruno’s office, his two imposing bodyguards—though Mr. Bruno called them his “assistants”—glowered at her, their giant hands looking like they would love nothing more than to wrap themselves around her throat.

Tell me, what do you think? Strong opening? Should I get rid of anything? Let’s discuss.

Well, that’s all for now. I may have some good news soon, and if I do I plan to post about it as soon as I can get on my computer. Until then, have a great weekend, my Followers of Fear. I know I plan to.

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Comments
  1. Whoo hoo! Congrats on 25! I need to schedule mine because I always remember on Saturday :p

    It’s a good opening. There’s a lot of description in the two sentences, so its not snappy, but I think you probably NEED that description for your story.

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