Archive for the ‘Progress Report’ Category

Oroboros, or the snake that eats its own tail, a symbol for immortality. Has no bearing on this story, but it’s still darn cool. And look, it spins!

You know how you’re not supposed to hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers because you might encounter a crazy person or a dangerous runaway convict doing so? You also know how in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre they had a scene that illustrated very well why you shouldn’t pick up hitchhikers or hitchhike yourself?

I like to comapre this chapter to everything in the previous paragraph, except instead of hitchhikers it’s pulling over to help a motorist in distress. Roman Veretti, the latest member of the Camerlengo Mafia group to become the object of the Snake’s desire to kill, is on the road when he sees a guy on the side of the road. What happens next may make you consider never helping a motorist ever again (and if you knew what happened to the guy, you wouldn’t want to help any motorist even if it was your twin brother!).

Oh, I’m also considering adding a few scenes where the Camerlengo family has to deal with the instability caused by the Snake’s murders: other families are taking territory and killing members of the Camerlengos. But I guess that’s the fallout when a serial killer shows just how easily a formerly-invincible family becomes not-so-invincible. The only problem though is placement: where best do these chapters go if I add them? Probably after Roman Veretti meets his fate; that’s when the Snake shows just how hard he is to stop.

Well, I’ve rambled on long enough. Here’s Chapter 21 as promised; enjoy and please do not hesitate to tell me what you think.

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Roman Veretti was whistling as he turned off the main road and onto the scenic route to Connecticut. The sun was shining, the view was beautiful, the minivan was warm and toasty, the XM radio was playing some of Roman’s favorite jazz and big band songs, “A Gal in Kalamazoo” and “What a Wonderful World”, among others, and there were no other cars on this secret route Roman loved so much.

Best of all, taking the scenic route meant another hour until Roman got to Connecticut, a place Roman wouldn’t have even considered visiting if his wife hadn’t insisted they go and visit her parents that weekend. It wasn’t as if they were bad people—Roman thought that Lizzy’s father was a hilarious storyteller and philosopher—but the house smelled heavily of cleaning products, and Lizzy’s mother always found some way or another to suggest that Roman was a poor choice of husband for her daughter and that Lizzy could do better without actually coming out and saying it. In truth, Roman preferred making sure the prostitutes under his watch made enough money for him rather than spending an entire weekend smelling dish soap and hearing criticisms about his paycheck.

 Just wait till I get off pimp duty and get into a real position in the family. Roman thought, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel as he listened to the music. Mr. Camerlengo’s getting to be real fond of me, and I’m sure that once this whole serial killer thing blows over, I’ll be able to get a job with money enough to shut up that old bat.

Up ahead on the road Roman noticed a car pulled over, its hood up and the lights blinking. The driver was waving his arms in the air, trying to signal Roman as he approached. For a moment Roman considered driving on, but the possibility a few more minutes away from Lizzy’s mother excited him enough that he turned on his turn signal and pulled over to the side of the road next to the car. The driver of the car ran up to Roman as Roman turned off the engine and stepped out of the minivan.

“You saved me!” said the driver, a young man who looked unremarkable save for a pair of brilliant blue eyes. “I can’t tell what’s up with my car and my cell has no signal. Do you think you can help me?”

“Let me see the car.” said Roman. “My dad was a mechanic, so I used to help him out all the time.”

“Well, isn’t that a stroke of luck!” said the driver. “She’s right over there. I figured that son of a bitch was conning me when he sold me this piece of crap.”

“We’ll see about that.” said Roman, sidling on over to the open hood. Peeking in, he examined the engine. To Roman’s confusion, the engine looked brand-new, and nothing he could see indicated any maintenance issues or repair needs.

“I don’t see any problems with the engine.” said Roman, ducking his head out from under the hood. “What’d you say was wrong with it—?”

WHAM!

There was a bright flash of light and Roman felt a sharp pain in the side of his head. He staggered, his hand pressed to his temple, before he staggered and fell over. The last thing he saw was the driver putting on a strange-looking mask before Roman closed his eyes and the world fell away.

Snake Ch. 20

Posted: August 15, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
Tags: , , ,

Well, I finished chapter twenty of Snake, and let me tell you, it was different writing this chapter than previous chapters. For one thing, I had started writing the chapter with a scene of Angela Murtz, my forensic psychologist/federal investigator (you might remember her from a previous post in which she was included in an exerpt) interviews the mistress of the latest victim, Thomas Luiso.

I had this whole interview set up, created how Murtz gained the woman’s trust, and even had an emotional revelation that Mr. Luiso wasn’t all his mistress thought he was. But as I was writing that, I thought to myself, Hey wait a minute, what exactly does this add to the story? I can some up all this information that’s needed in a few words, and can have another character fill Murtz in. So I went back and deleted the whole interview and instead skipped ahead to where Murtz goes upstairs with her partner, Blake Harnist, to check out Luiso’s body. If you ask me, I made the right decision; the chapter looks better without the interview with Murtz and Luiso’s mistress.

I also realized that in the chapters featuring Murtz and Harnist, four in total, three have been from Murtz’s POV, while only 1 has been from Harnist’s POV. I think I’ll change that for the next chapter featuring the duo and have the reader see things from Harnist’s POV. It only seems fair, since the characters are partners and work together to stop the Snake.

Now, I wasn’t able to do a Lucky 7 meme, because page 77 of the story only has 5 lines on it. However, I’m pretty sure the next chapter, which has the Snake himself in it, doesn’t reveal too much about the character, so I’ll include as much of that as I can. Hope you like that.

See you next post.

Doll, clown, and evil all in one; can it get any creepier?

You heard it here folks, the first draft of my story of an evil doll is done. This was one of my more difficult stories to write, and I really struggled at certain points to keep putting down the words on the paper. However, last night I managed to finish it, and my sigh of relief and satisfaction was a loud one.

I’ll take another look at it in a couple of months; I know there’s a lot to improve upon, and I want to come at it anew when I do. Until then, I’ll see what sort of other stories I can come up and work on. I’m in one of those periods where I’m really productive with my short stories, so I plan to keep going for as long as possible.

Hey, how’s everybody doing? Remember I told you that a science-fiction story I wrote was getting published back in July, but the editor of the magazine wasn’t specific on when it would be published? Well, just got an email from the editor: he was waiting for a nice collection of short stories to come to him before he began the publishing process, but now that he’s reached his quota, my story Ripple should be hitting the net in November at some point.

Now, I know some of you are thinking, Isn’t that a little late in the year? Well if you ask me–and since you’re reading my blog, I’m assuming you already asked–if you ask me I’m just happy it’s getting published at all, so better late in the year than never. And until then, we know another short story I wrote, Aasif, is getting published next month, so that’s something to look forward to, right? Something to tide us over until we can read about aliens visiting Earth.

So until next time, have a great weekend, and try and stay cool!

 

Happy Birthday to the blog,

Happy Birthday to the bog,

Happy Birthday to the blog,

Happy Birthday to the blog.

Yes indeed, ladies and gentlebloggers, it was exactly one year ago that Rami Ungar the Writer hit the Internet. And what a year it’s been: including this post, I’ve written 108 posts, racked up 3,049 views (an average of 8.4 a day), at least 150 likes (I lost count after 100), 50 followers that I know of (there’s more than one way to follow a WordPress blog besides signing up through WordPress, and I have no idea how many people do that), and 122 comments. I survived my first year of college, found out two short stories I’d written are going to be published, and was even honored by Anne Rice at one point. But most of all, I’ve found some loyal readers and some great friends, whom I can always count on for an interesting and fun comment conversation.

I’d like to thank WordPress for being an awesome blogging website, and I’d like to thank everyone who’s been with me up till this point. I hope you stay with me while I continue blogging and working on achieving my dream of becoming a horror novelist.

Now before you go out and decide what gift to buy for me, please read the rest of this post:

1. I would appreciate it more if you donated money to an organization supporting LGBT rights, helping victims of assault and/or abuse, supporting Israel, or that gives funding to underfunded school. However if any of you want to help me pay for college, I would not mind at all.

2. I am giving you guys a gift or two instead today. Below are two videos off of YouTube. The first is from Disney’s 1951 film Alice in Wonderland, with a hearty rendition of “A Merry Un-Birthday”. I chose this because I wanted a video that doesn’t have the regular birthday song, and because I couldn’t find any birthday songs that sounded scary. Besides, even if I don’t care for this particular adaptation, I just love Alice in Wonderland!

The next video is from the people of HISHEdotcom, who are always to take the latest Hollywood blockbuster and tell you How It Should Have Ended. This is one of their latest videos, detailing all the problems of Prometheus and how they think it should have been done. You should really check out their other videos if you like this one, they’ve done stuff to just about every type of movie imaginable.

Hope you enjoy these videos. Have a lovely day. See ya!

Yeah, the Snake can be pretty vicious. Just like the basilisk, except without the whole eye thing. Still, very scary, isn’t it.

Ladies and gentlebloggers, I finally wrote a section of my novel-in-progress Snake with the Snake in it that I can post online without giving away too much of the character away. It only took sixteen chapters, but I finally wrote it. And I got to say, it came pretty easy to me; I didn’t have any writer’s block while working on it.

For a little context, here’s what’s going on right now: the Snake has followed his next target, loan shark Thomas Luiso, to the home of Luiso’s mistress. The Snake sneaks in and catches them in the middle of some fun (if you get my meaning). Luiso’s mistress faints from the shock, while Snake fights Luiso, who hasn’t realized he is dealing with the man who brutally murdered two other members of Luiso’s group.

Hope you like what you read, but just warning you, things are going to get violent. Also, I want to clarify something I said in the last post dedicated to the Snake: I said Part II was the longest part in Snake. Actually it’s Part III. Sorry about that.

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The Snake strode over to Luiso, who was just getting off the bed. Luiso looked at him and cursed in Italian. “You son of a bitch.” he growled. The Snake ignored him, reaching for Luiso’s neck.

Just then Luiso spun, kicking the Snake in the knee. The Snake stumbled backward, hitting his head against the wall. Luiso ran at him, swinging his fist. The Snake dodged, moving his head to the right to avoid Luiso’s fist, which went into the wall with a sickening crunch. Luiso pulled on his hand, but it looked stuck in the wall.

The Snake smiled from beneath his mask and grabbed Luiso’s meaty left nipple, giving it a hard twist. Luiso screamed in pain, grabbing the Snake’s arm weakly with the hand not stuck in the wall.

Letting go of the nipple, the Snake pulled back his fists and punched Luiso in the gut and face. Luiso groaned with each impact, looking more and more on the verge of fainting every time the Snake hit him. The Snake kept up the barrage, his excitement building. How much longer can you go? he thought. How much more can you struggle before I make you go through more pain?

Suddenly Luiso swung a fist at the side of the Snake’s head, hitting him right in the ear; the Snake fell over, holding his ear as if it were about to fall off. With a loud crunch, Luiso freed his other hand from the wall and turned to the Snake. “You are so morto, freak.” said Luiso. “Teach you to mess with me!”

The Snake saw Luiso take a step towards him and thought of an idea; as Luiso took another step forward, the Snake jumped and tackled Luiso’s large belly, sending the large man backwards and over. Luiso fell onto the ground with a loud thump, shaking the room as he hit the carpet. The Snake crawled onto Luiso’s chest, straightened himself up, and began punching Luiso’s face. Blood went flying as the Snake broke Luiso’s nose and knocked out a few teeth.

It was a while before the Snake realized that Luiso was knocked out. Standing up off the man’s expansive belly, the Snake looked at Luiso and wondered if he should steal a car and take him somewhere where they wouldn’t be disturbed or—

Then the Snake noticed there was a bathroom in the bedroom, one with a large bathtub and several fluffy white towels. An idea came to the Snake’s head, something he’d always wanted to try, and here was the perfect opportunity for it.

The Snake grabbed his gun from the vanity table and, hooking his arms underneath Luiso’s armpits, dragged Luiso into the bathroom.

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What happens in the bathroom that the Snake has been wanting to try? I’m not saying, except it will make you squirm. Hope you like what you read. If I can, I’ll post more excerpts. Until then, thanks for reading and have a nice day.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, another one of mine is getting published! Oh my god, so happy right now! The illustrious magazine Mobius, which deals with literature involving/revolving around social change, has decided to publish a short story I sent them, and it’ll be coming out in their fall edition in September (I’ll do a post then when it comes out).

“Aasif” was inspired by the Kony 2012 video, which I’ve covered before on Rami Ungar the Writer. I thought about doing a story involving child soldiers and the warlords who force them into killing, and then I started writing. What resulted was “Aasif”, and I’m so happy it’s getting published.

If you want to visit the website for Mobius, maybe see if you have anything that matches their criteria, the link’s below. Gotta go, I’m dancing in my kitchen.

http://mobiusmagazine.com/

Okay, so you guys know how on Thursday I wrote a review of Anne Rice’s new book “The Wolf Gift” and compared her work to food (I know, it sounds corny when I say it like that, but just bare with me)? Well, later that day I sent Anne Rice a letter in an email, telling her how much I enjoyed the book. I also included a link to the review, in case she ever got bored.

Not only did Anne Rice go to Rami Ungar the Writer, which is something extraordianry in itself and worthy of celebration, but hse posted a link to the review on her Facebook page (ironic, considering I wrote an article on how people’s opinions of Facebook vary, and how I prefer my blog to Facebook). Within an hour, I had nearly 400 views! At first I thought my stats counter was broken! And then I realized what had happened. The next few hours was a huge high, with me going “Holy crap” and “Oh my God” over and over and over.

To all those who visited, thank you so very much for reading; having you there reading what I write means so much to me. To the Lord Above, You are always there when I achieve something great. Thanks for always being around.

And to Ms. Anne Rice, to whom this is all owed to, if you come back to my blog and read this, I just want to let you know I cannot express my gratitude in words. To be recognized by one such as you, whom I admire and have loved for years…it’s a true honor, in every sense of the word.

Of course, I won’t be able to know if you’ve been reading this post, so just to make sure you know how grateful I am, I’ll send you another letter tomorrow.

And after that, I won’t send anything else lest I look like a stalker (something we should all want to avoid).

Once again, thanks to everyone involved. You light up my life in so many ways, just by coming on and reading a post or two.

I know thrillers are supposed to have short chapters but I never expected it to be this simple to finish! I mean, it’s just the prologue, and it’s only four chapters, but it still seemed to fly by. No wonder people like James Patterson can get several novels published in a year, averaging 1 novel per series they write in: they have the time of day to spend on several different projects!

Anyway, the first draft of the prologue of Snake is done. It seemed to flow through my fingers onto the keyboard, I tell ya, and I enjoyed writing it (though writing out the torture scene so as to arouse terror in a possible reader was difficult, I’ll admit). Overall, the entire prologue was 15 Microsoft Word pages, a little over 4,000 words, and the average amount of time it took to write a chapter was maybe an hour to an hour and forty-five minutes.

If you want to read a little of Snake, you can head back to about two days ago, where I printed a small excerpt from the first chapter. Warning, there are bad words in it, so if you object to such things, I suggest you ignore this final paragraph. Once again, happy 4th of July!

I and most of Central Ohio lost power Friday, so I haven’t had Internet all weekend. Plus when I tried to use a public computer, the Internet was soo slooow that before I knew it, I had to be at my next thing before I could finish reading posts or checking my dashboard. Well, I’m making up for that right now, and I’m doing it by first writing this post, which has a small excerpt from my new novel-in-progress Snake.

I managed to write this Saturday night, using what little power I had left on my laptop. As I wrote by candlelight and computer screen, feeling almost like a modern-day Edgar Allen Poe, I felt the words flowing through me, from my fingertips to the computer. It was exhilarating, and I managed to finish the chapter before I had to turn off my computer to conserve the battery.

I hope you like what you read. If I find any time or if I get my electricity back by this evening, I’ll do a little more work.

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(Warning: The following preview features some very bad words, so if you have kids, I suggest you make sure they’re not around when you read this post.)

 

Paul felt a buzz in his pocket and looked down. Through the fabric in his pants Paul could see the light from his phone shining through. Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and dove into a little alcove where he could take the call in peace. Without checking the number he pressed the talk button and brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” said Paul; on the other end all he could hear was a deep breathing. Paul raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Who is this?” He checked the caller ID, and saw only UNKNOWN NUMBER.

Suddenly the person at the other end of the phone spoke. “Men in your line of business have no right to be in a church, Mr. Sanonia.”

Paul stared at the phone, surprised. Glancing quickly around the church, he saw only three people, and none of them were on their phones. How did this person know where he was and how did he get his number? He looked back at the phone and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Who the fuck is this?”

The man on the other end laughed, a deep, hearty laugh that for some reason chilled Paul’s skin. “When your cousin James Sanonia died, he was shot in the head.” said the man, his voice deep and affected with a heavy Russian accent. “Then several bones were broken all over his body. He was then taken from wherever he was killed and thrown in the Hudson. Dockworkers saw his body floating and pulled him up out of the water. By the time they got him though, there was nothing to identify your cousin’s murderer. Except for one interesting detail, that is.”

Paul froze, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Who was this guy? How did he know all that? “And what was that detail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

The man spoke, and Paul froze. “You killed my cousin.” he hissed angrily. “You killed Jamie.”

“Horrible thing, wasn’t it?” said the Russian man. “I couldn’t get what I wanted out of your cousin. But I’m sure you’ll be much more helpful.”

Paul was only half-listening; he was looking around the Church, trying to find someone—anyone!—on a phone. One of the other worshippers, a teenage girl with a skirt too short for the cold February weather, got out of a pew while texting. Besides her, no one else seemed to have a phone.

“Where the fuck are you, you crazy shit!” Paul whispered into the phone. “Come on out and face me like a man!”

“But there is no fun in that.” replied the Russian man. “Besides, you’re so much more amusing to watch.”

Paul stepped out of the alcove, looking around the church. “Watch?” he repeated.

“Oh, didn’t I mention it?” asked the Russian man. “I’m right in the church with you.”