Archive for the ‘Novel’ Category

I Was Disturbed This Evening

Posted: March 5, 2013 in Novel, Progress Report, Reflections, Scary Stuff, Writing
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I was editing a chapter of Snake this evening, when the Snake is torturing his third victim for information (on what, you ask? Read the book when it comes out). At some point during this chapter, the Snake becomes incensed by something his victim says to him and retaliates in a most gruesome manner. The thing is, I didn’t remember that I’d written that part the way I’d written it, which was fast, unforeseen, and totally horrifying in its inhumanity. It disturbed me a little, and I wrote the bloody scene over the summer! (By the way, no pun intended when I say “bloody”)

This is pretty ironic, seeing as I pride myself on being immune to most scenes of horror and death in fiction. But it also points out something: if I can be disturbed by a scene I created in a story I wrote, even just a little, and I knew that scene was coming, then what would the reaction be of someone who didn’t see it coming, and isn’t as desensitized to these sort of things as I am? I get a little excited just thinking about it.

It makes me wonder if I’ll be disturbed by any other scenes I’ve written in this thriller novel of mine. There are quite a few more murder and torture scenes to go through, so the likelihood is high that I might see something and feel a little twinge of horror, disgust, or queasiness. But if I do, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, I write horror stories primarily, so if even I feel a little reaction from going over and editing a scene, I think that means I’m doing something right.

It can also point to how disturbed I am as a writer and possibly as a person, the way I have a character killed or how I describe the monsters in the story or how I build up to a terrifying conclusion in a certain scene. Critics will definitely wonder if I’m depraved (always possible), if I was traumatized as a child (yes I was, I wrote a post on it last year) or if I’m trying to corrupt my readers with this vile stuff I write (objection! I seek only to share and entertain while making a little money where I can).  But hey, if Stephen King and Anne Rice and Edgar Allen Poe can write some of the same stuff and survive the scathing criticism, why can’t I?

Besides, there are certain things those same writers above wrote that I do not plan to write (if you haven’t read Stephen King’s IT, please go to the Wikipedia page and read the last sentence of the second-to-last paragraph of the section titled 1957-1958 under Plot. You’ll understand what I mean). Even I have lines I won’t cross, though sometimes they don’t seem obvious to others.

Well, I’ll continue editing Snake and seeing what I find. Hopefully I’ll be able to find some more scenes, be disturbed when it’s necessary, and touch up some scenes to be more disturbing if I think it’s needed. Hopefully I’ll be able to create a novel that will catch on and cause a wave and be praised for its disturbing/thrilling/insert-advective-here aspects. That’s the dream, at least.

In the meantime though, I have to get ready for bed. I’ve got Abnomal Pyschology class in the morning, definitely one of my favorites, and I want to be awake when we discuss treating bipolar disorder. Good night, everybody.

Snake: Starting The Second Draft

Posted: March 3, 2013 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written about my serial killer thriller Snake, which is about a serial killer hunting down the members of a mafia family in New York City. But yes, as you can tell from the title, I’m working on the second draft. I’m happy to say, I’m getting through it rather speedily, clearing through fourteen chapters in a little less than twenty-four hours. Then again, most of the chapters are less than ten pages, so the fact that I’ve only cleared fourteen chapters in a single day may earn me some accusations of laziness.

Moving on.

So, I’ve gone through fourteen chapters, and so far it’s mostly been polishing up phrasing and grammar. Yes, there have been entire sections of the story that have been rewritten so far, but only one or two, and those entire sections have been small. I’ve also noticed some inconsistencies in what I’ve written at certain points and what I’ve written at certain other points, so I’ve been correcting that when I’ve seen it.

But I’m happy with what I have so far. The entire novel is ninety-something chapters, but I think if I work hard and don’t get too distracted, I should be done in a week or two (thank goodness spring break is coming up). Wish me luck, and I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Snake: Adding in the Russian

Posted: February 16, 2013 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything about my serial killer novel Snake, but I’m happy to announce I finally got around to doing something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now: add in the Russian.

For those of you who weren’t around during the six months from June-December 2012, Snake follows the Snake, a serial killer that goes after members of a Mafia family for reasons mentioned only in the novel (and not on this blog; that’d give away the whole darn plot). The Snake also speaks Russian, a language I have no heads or tails for, comrades. So I asked a friend of mine I know through OSU’s organization for Jewish students, OSU Hillel, to help me because he’s a native Russian speaker.

Yesterday, my friend sent me some translations and transliterations of the English phrases I sent him, showing me what the phrases I’d written in English looked like in Russian with English characters. I inserted them into the story, and now I don’t have to do anything till I actually start the second draft of Snake next month. I’ll probably add some more Russian in then, but until then, I don’t think I’ll bother my friend.

In hte meantime, I have to go out for a few minutes and take a photo that I’ll use and modify to create the cover for my upcoming collection of short stories, The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones. Sure it’s cold and it’s late, but this photo needs to be taken at night, I only just got done with everything else, and I have an hour until SNL, so I’m good. Time to take some photos.

Do svidanya until I write next. Have a good night.

It’s The Year of the Snake (Is That A Coincidence?)

Posted: February 12, 2013 in Living and Life, Novel, Scary Stuff, Writing
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As many of you know, the Chinese New Year was celebrated recently, ushering in the Year of the Snake. As many of you also know, I recently wrote and completed a thriller novel called Snake, which is about a serial killer hunting mafioso. Since Snake will probably be published sometime before this time next year (hopefully), I thought it was a pretty strange but otherwise wonderful coincidence. Of course, the serial killer whom the novel is named after, the Snake, was probably born in the Year of the Rooster like myself, but still it’s a pretty cool coincidence.

And since it’s the Year of the Snake, I thought I’d give you a small sample of Snake, something to let you get a sense of one of my best written works to date (at least in my opinion). It’s from the first chapter, when one of the Snake’s first victims makes contact with the Snake over the phone. It’s creepy and I love it. Enjoy:

            Paul felt a buzz in his pocket and looked down. Through the fabric in his pants Paul could see the light from his phone shining through. Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and dove into a little alcove where he could take the call in peace. Without checking the number he pressed the talk button and brought the phone to his ear.

            “Hello?” said Paul; on the other end all he could hear was a deep breathing. Paul raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Who is this?” He checked the caller ID, and saw only UNKNOWN NUMBER.

            Suddenly the person at the other end of the phone spoke. “Men in your line of business have no right to be in a church, Mr. Sanonia.”

            Paul stared at the phone, surprised. Glancing quickly around the church, he saw only three people, and none of them were on their phones. How did this person know where he was and how did he get his number? He looked back at the phone and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Who the fuck is this?”

            The man on the other end laughed, a rich, hearty laugh that for some reason chilled Paul’s skin. “When your cousin James Sanonia died, he was shot in the head.” said the man, his voice deep and affected with a heavy Russian accent. “Then several bones were broken all over his body. He was then taken from wherever he was killed and thrown in the Hudson. Dockworkers saw his body floating and pulled him up out of the water. By the time they got him though, there was nothing to identify your cousin’s murderer. Except for one interesting detail, that is.”

            Paul froze, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Who was this guy? How did he know all that? “And what was that detail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

            The man spoke, and Paul froze. “You killed my cousin.” he hissed angrily. “You killed Jamie.”

            “Horrible thing, wasn’t it?” said the Russian man. “I couldn’t get what I wanted out of your cousin. But I’m sure you’ll be much more helpful.”

            Paul was only half-listening; he was looking around the church, trying to find someone—anyone!—on a phone. One of the other worshippers, a teenage girl with a skirt too short for the cold February weather, walked out of the church while texting. Besides her, no one else seemed to have a phone.

            “Where the fuck are you, you crazy shit!” Paul whispered into the phone. “Come on out and face me like a man!”

            “But there is no fun in that.” replied the Russian man. “Besides, you’re so much more amusing to watch.”

            Paul stepped out of the alcove, looking around the church. “Watch?” he repeated.

            “Oh, didn’t I mention it?” asked the Russian man. “I’m right in the church with you.”

Happy Birthday To Islam’s Founder

Posted: January 24, 2013 in Novel, Reflections, Writing
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My calendar tells me that today is the birthday of Mohammad, the founder of Islam, and I thought I’d mark this on my blog. Why? Because the main character of my science fiction novel Reborn City, Zahara Bakur, is a Muslim teenager, and one of the thintgs I do with her is try to show a side of Muslims not always portrayed in the media.

Muhammad lived in the 6th and 7th centuries in the Arabian peninsula. Around the year 610, he recieved revelations from the Archangel Gabriel, and began preaching in Mecca, stressing the importance of monotheism and lessening the divide between the very rich and the very poor in Mecca. This and a bunch of other events led to Islam, which means “submission to the will of Allah”, spreading across the Middle East and eventually around the world. Today, there are 1.57 billion people who identify themselves as Muslims, and they all look to Muhammad’s example and preachings in order to live life they believe Allah wants them too.

But what I like most about Muhammad is that while I know he felt obligated to carry out the Divine Will, he was mainly motivated by a desire to help others. In fact, before he saw Gabriel, Muhammad was looking into many spiritual practices and ways in order to better himself and those around him. In fact, the reason he went to the cave he met Gabriel in was because of this desire, though he had no idea he’d recieve a revelation there.

In a way, Zahara is very similar in this desire: although she follows many of the edicts of her faith because she believes it is Allah’s Will for her, she also does it because she feels it makes her a better person. Consequently her view of life, molded partially by her faith, allows her to exact a positive change over some of the other characters over time. Of course, she has to get herself about neck deep into trouble to accomplish this, but it’s a science fiction story, so what do you expect?

The point is though, Muhammad tried to help others in ancient Arabia, Zahara tries to help others in a fictional dystopic world, and billions of Muslims across the globe try and help people just by following their faith and being kind to others, as opposed to the images we are sometimes bombarded with depicting Muslims as dangerous. And it is the factual image stated above that I want to remind people of as Muslims everywhere observe the Prophet’s birthday.

Aasalam Ailakum, and thanks for reading.

Playing With An Idea Until It Drives Me Wild

Posted: January 14, 2013 in ideas, Novel, Writing
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I’ve written once or twice about having an idea for a story or wanting to write a story with a certain sort of theme/creature/character/whatever in it. Usually those sorts of stories are short stories. However recently I came up with an idea for a novel, and although I had enough for a blurb on the back cover, which is usually what I put down on my Ideas list on my flash drive, I felt it was lacking somehow. I wanted more, because I had a feeling this was the sort of novel (or perhaps series–who knows?) where I might play around with it in my head for years before I got around to writing it.

However, nothing came to me. I knew I wanted one more element, something that wouldn’t be on a blurb but would be central to the story in my head as I played around with it. It was annoying as heck, not being able to come up with something. Romantic rival? Too YA for my tastes. Romantic problems anyway? That’s definitely going to be a part of the plot, but it won’t be the main focus! Some special history to the main character’s special powers? I need something to drive the plot, not enhance it; I didn’t come up with the powers for the main characters of Reborn City till after I knew what sort of story I was writing, so I need to hold off till I have something to work with. Politics? Maybe, but it can’t drive the tale. Family troubles?

Finally, while I was getting ready to take a shower and get to bed, something came to me. Just like that. And I knew how it would connect to the full story and drive the plot and ultimately make it fun for me to work with. I felt such a hit of relief, I very nearly started to sing. Good thing I didn’t sing though; the windows might’ve broke on me! In Columbus in January, you don’t want broken windows.

Now, you know I’m not going to tell you what the story’s about or what I added into it (I’ve told a few people, but I know they’re not going to brag about it or reveal anything they shouldn’t). I will say that I take a classic fairy tale by a Danish author (start Googling…now!) and that I give it the usual Rami Ungar treatment…which means it’ll be distorted and made creepy and possibly a little gory and/or sexual. Hey, I am what I am.

I’ll also tell you that it’s not uncommon for me to come up with an idea for a novel and let it rattle around in my head for a year or more. That’s what happened with Reborn City and what happened with Snake. But when I look at how they turned out, I know that was the right decision; my friend who’s helping me edit RC says he thinks it’s very interesting, and usually his critiques are limited to grammar or extraneous words in the writing, which I can only take as a good thing. As for Snake, I think that’s some of the best writing I’ve ever done, and I’ve only done the first draft!

So this works for me. Maybe by the time I sit down to write this story that I’ve been devoting this post to, it’ll be something so spectacular that maybe I’ll ruin–or enhance–high school and college literature courses with it.

I can dream, can’t I?

In the meantime, stick with me and let’s see how I do in the writing world. I’ve got a lot of ideas, and I’m looking for the right oppurtunities to put each and every one out. I hope you all will be with me as I write them, because your support is what helps me get the words out on paper and eventually, to you.

Review: “The Hunger Games” Trilogy

Posted: January 13, 2013 in Novel, Reflections, Review, Writing
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Normally I wait a week before doing another review, but I think this time I’ll make an exception.

I decided to read The Hunger Games books for a number of reasons. One, because m sister was upset at how many things got changed between book and movie (the movie I saw first) and I wanted to know if it was really something to be upset over (I decided it wasn’t, but actually very clever). Another was that the second film is coming out later this yea and I wanted to be prepared for what I’d find, maybe be as upset as my sister (though that usually doesn’t happen). But finally, I decided to read the books because Ohio State’s having this mock-Hunger Games thing called the OSU Honor Games, a nonviolent contest based on Suzanne Collins’s twisted imagination, and I want to be a tribute for my dorm (go Jones Tower!).

So I read the books. And without going into what I thought of each separate book, I’ll give you my thoughts:

First off, I don’t read a lot of YA, so I don’t necessarily know the conventions that are associated with it. Still, I thought certain moments in the story, Collins relied too much on telling rather than showing. For instance, at the end of Books 2 and 3, Collins ties up events in only a short few paragraphs. At the end of Book 2 I was like, “There’s a rebellion in progress and Katniss was apart of it without knowing it, and yet you expect to tell me that in four little paragraphs and that I’d be satisfied with that? Puh-leaze!” And at the end of Book 3, after Katniss (spoiler alert!) kills Coin while Snow expires from being a sick, bloody old man, I tought Collins was rushing a bit to finish up the story, to have everything resolve itself without doing too much writing or exposition or lengthy conversation. Too much telling, and maybe a little lazy.

Not only was that a problem for me, but at certain points Collins puts us into dramatic moments without putting on the drama. When Katniss and her crew go into the Capital in Book 3 to take down Snow, it seems Collins is deliberately under-dramatizing it, making the mission seem as drawl as possible. I would’ve cued in on Katniss’s feelings as she stepped into the Capital with a gun and bow and arrows, looking around the snow-swept streets and the rising excitement and tension as she awaits her chance to kill Snow.

But Collins decides to just put us smack in the middle of the Capitol, and things only get dramatic when she actually feels like telling us in detail what’s happening instead of summarizing it for us.

And finally, the ending for Book 3 left me stunned. I mean really, Katniss kills Coin just like that? A little out of left field, if you ask me. Where’s the dramatic build-up, the chance to let the world know what Coin did, to refute it so that the world will see how cruel war can make us and make it stick that we shouldn’t fight like monsters? Nope, just kills the old hag after agreeing the Capitol children should participate in a Hunger Games. And speaking of which, did that ever happen? Or after President Coin’s death, did they just decide not to let the Capitol kids not die?

Whatever.

I thought the first book fantastic, but Books 2 and 3 were not as good. Sure, Collins made an effort to make Book 2 more than just a bridge between Books 1 and 3, but at times it dragged, and I thought it took too long to get to the Quarter Quell. And Book 3 alternated between me being interested and me being annoyed and bored.

Plus the resolution of the whole Peeta-Gale thing…Oy Gevalt! I feel like there were so much more to those characters. They were both capable of being great political and military leaders, especially Peeta. But all we really see is their obsessions with Katniss and perhaps a darker side of Peeta after he’s been hijacked. And then the way Katniss finally picks her man…was that Collins’s way of saying, “Oh yeah, this is who she finally picks and how it happens.” I definitely wouldn’t have written it that way, and I think I would’ve gone into Katniss actually weighing her feelings and what each boy represents to her. You know, make it seem like they’re both dreamy and she just can’t choose?

And by the way, what do those guys do at the end of the book? Does Peeta become mayor of District Twelve? Does Gale find a new girl while leading reconstruction efforts in other districts? A little explanation please! God, now I know why the movie went into further detail of the behind-the-scenes stuff: it was needed to make up for what was left out of the novel.

So finally, how about my ranking? For The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay, I give the whole trilogy a 2.6 out of 5. Great premise, great story overall, but there was room for improvement, if you ask me.

Is Someone Actually Searching For the Snake?

Posted: December 27, 2012 in Living and Life, Novel, Writing
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Remember when I said in my last post that it was possible someone was searching for articles about the Snake? Well, something interesting just happened: I went to my Stats page, and I find someone was referred to my blog after putting in the search terms “Camerlengo Mafia”. I was shocked, because Camerlengo–meaning “chamerlain” in Italian–is the name of the mafia family whose members the Snake stalks and attacks. Now, beyond this blog, I haven’t really discussed the Snake in great detail to anyone beyond that he’s a serial killer who hunts the mafia. I haven’t shown anyone the first draft, and I only told the psychologist the name of the mafia family when I gave him the Snake’s history in order to form a diagnosis (which, by the way, turned out that the Snake doesn’t fit a single diagnosis).

I wondered if this was some sort of strange coincidence, so I went to Google and typed in “camerlengo mafia” myself. To my surprise, the only other articles beside mine were Wikipedia articles about various mafioso and cardinals, and a few Italian dictionaries that involved words like “mafia” and “camerlengo” appearing in the same section. So someone’s been searching for the Camerlengo Family, possibly to see if there’s an actual family by that name (and if there is, they don’t have a website), and lately I’ve been getting a lot of hits from Russia that coincide on days when either Snake articles are being read and the search terms either involve the word “snake” or the Cyrillic word for snake. I’m no detective, but I’m starting to wonder if this is somehow all connected.

If it is, I find it a little flattering that someone’s looking for the Snake so much. Hopefully I ‘ll get the novel out soon, but I don’t plan to start editing for a little while yet. Be patient though; I’ll have something out soon, God willing, and perhaps it’ll feature a serial killer who speaks Russian and uses Russian torture techniques.

Oh, and if there is someone who is searching for the Snake, and that person stumbles across this blog post, thanks for visiting and feel free to leave a comment. Just make sure it’s in English when you comment, because I’m not sure if a comment in Cyrillic will be translated or sorted as spam.

Snake: First Draft Done

Posted: December 16, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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I saved the best for last: a Biblical snake!

I don’t like doing online rants about gun control. It’s something I’m passionate about and that I wish more people backed, but I don’t like doing it. I prefer to talk about my writing, about the short stories and novels I write and the ideas I come up with. I love discussing the writing process and nitpicking my work and others’ work. Why else is my blog name Rami Ungar The Writer?

This is why I’m happy to say that this post isn’t about gun control or Newtown or asking people to contact their representatives. No, this post is about how I finally finished my thriller novel Snake, about a serial killer hunting mafioso in New York and the reason why he hunts them. It took me about six months and four days to write this novel, a personal best for me, and I’m really satisfied with this first draft. I think it starts out like a regular thriller in the respects of James Patterson or Stephen King, but then it morphs into something else, especially when we start to realize that the Snake, the titular killer, is actually the protagonist and not the antagonist!

How is this possible and why do I do this? Well, you’ll have to read the novel when it comes out to find out. However, that won’t be for a while; I first have to put off editing Snake for a few months. After I edit it, I’ll see if I can find someone who’ll take a look and critique it. If that happens, I’ll incorporate their suggestions into the text and then I’ll start the process of copyrighting the novel and then releasing it as an e-book online. Of course, no idea when that’ll happen, so don’t go onto Amazon looking for my name.

I enjoyed writing Snake; it was scary and exciting at the same time. The plot changed several times throughout the writing process, and it’ll probably change a bit more when I get to editing the story, but I think every change made the story better. I had the oppurtunity to write in ways I’d never written before, like writing a thriller instead of a regular science-fiction or horror novel and writing a sex scene that I planned to keep to the final draft. I also was challenged to write my female lead, whose head I sometimes had trouble getting into, and I got to practice writing fight scenes, which are not always my specialty.

All in all, this novel has a special place in my heart, and if I ever write a sequel (which I have an idea for), I will enjoy writing that too. Of course, it’ll be a long time before I write the sequel; my philosophy on sequels is to take a break and work on something else between books, or you’ll find yourself in a creative rut staying in the same fictional world for too long.

Now for the page and word count. Remember, I write my drafts in 12-point font, Times New Roman, and double-spaced. When the final version comes out, the page count will be a lot shorter. Now the Epilogue, the final part of the novel, was 23 pages and 5,164 words. Let’s add that to the other parts: the Prologue was 14 pages and 3,979 words; Part I is 41 pages and 10,177 words; Part II was 96 words and 23,801 words; Part III was 126 pags and 30,733 words; Part IV was 86 pages and 22,288 words; Part V was 29 pages and 7,576 words; and Part VI was 28 pages and 7,095 words. Total it all and…

Holy long thriller, Batman! This first draft ends at 443 pages and 110,813 words. Hope you like drawn-out storie, because I definitely succeeded in that capacity!

Well, I have to stop writing for now, because I have to get up early for work. But wait for tomorrow; I’ve got a special announcement to make. Thanks for staying with me so far and I hope to put Snake, my sci-fi novel Reborn City, and a whole bunch of other stuff, out soon.

Snake: Part VI Done!

Posted: December 14, 2012 in Novel, Progress Report, Writing
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I’M ON A ROLL!

Today, at around a quarter to four in the afternoon, I finished writing Part VI of Snake, two days after I finished the previous part! I had to cut out one chapter and combine two chapters as I was doing the writing, but that’s okay, because this part is awesome! I had an idea for a regular fight between the main antagonist and the Snake, but I changed it so that they fight not in an office or across the city, but in a controlled environment like in The Hunger Games. How did I do that? You’ll have to read the novel when I put it out to find that one out.

So now I have only four chapters in the Epilogue left, and then the first draft of this novel will be finished. Can I get a whoop-whoop?! Anyway, time to do a count-up (my favorite part of reporting the Parts are done). Remember, I write my drafts double-spaced, with 12-point Times New Roman font. When I finally publish this and Reborn City, they’ll probably be much smaller in terms of page count. Probably.

So, Part VI of Snake ends up being 28 pages and 7,095 words. Adding it to the rest of the Parts: the Prologue was 14 pages and 3,979 words; Part I was 41 pages and 10,177 words; Part II was 96 pages and 23,801 words; Part III was 126 pages and 30,733 words; Part IV was 86 pages and 22,288 words; and Part V was 29 pages and 7,576 words. Add it all up, and you get a staggering amount of 420 pages and 105,649 words. Does anyone want to place a bet on how long the first draft will be after I add the Epilogue?

Well, I’ll take a break till tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to spend time with my family and read some good books too.

Wish me luck.

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