Posts Tagged ‘novel’

Since Saturday night I’ve been working on editing Snake, my serial killer thriller that I wrote over a period of six months last year. I took a break from it after I finished the last chapter in December and worked on several other projects, including The Quiet Game, in order so that when I returned to Snake again to edit it, I could look at it with fresh eyes.

So far I’ve been happy with the eyes I’m looking at it. For example, I”m seeing some things I wrote last time that I’m not too satisfied with, particularly in terms of phrasing. I’ve had to rewrite a few sections just to make it sound right in my head. I’ve also realized how disturbing I’ve made that novel, as last night’s post proved. And I also learned how fast-paced my novel is. I mean, the novel takes palce over several weeks, but it seems to be going so fast, going from event to event to event with a rabbit-like swiftness. If you have the free time, you could probably get through Snake in a couple of days.

So far I’ve gotten through thirty-five chapters, and I’m onto Part III, which is the longest part of Snake with twenty-nine chapters. If I can get through it in the same amount of time as I did with the first thirty-five chapters, I might be done with the second draft by the end of spring break, give or take a day or two. After that, I’ll hand Snake off to my beta reader, who’ll hopefully have the time to get through all the chapters in a timely fashion.

I hope.

I’ll let you guys know as things develop. Wish me luck.

I was editing a chapter of Snake this evening, when the Snake is torturing his third victim for information (on what, you ask? Read the book when it comes out). At some point during this chapter, the Snake becomes incensed by something his victim says to him and retaliates in a most gruesome manner. The thing is, I didn’t remember that I’d written that part the way I’d written it, which was fast, unforeseen, and totally horrifying in its inhumanity. It disturbed me a little, and I wrote the bloody scene over the summer! (By the way, no pun intended when I say “bloody”)

This is pretty ironic, seeing as I pride myself on being immune to most scenes of horror and death in fiction. But it also points out something: if I can be disturbed by a scene I created in a story I wrote, even just a little, and I knew that scene was coming, then what would the reaction be of someone who didn’t see it coming, and isn’t as desensitized to these sort of things as I am? I get a little excited just thinking about it.

It makes me wonder if I’ll be disturbed by any other scenes I’ve written in this thriller novel of mine. There are quite a few more murder and torture scenes to go through, so the likelihood is high that I might see something and feel a little twinge of horror, disgust, or queasiness. But if I do, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, I write horror stories primarily, so if even I feel a little reaction from going over and editing a scene, I think that means I’m doing something right.

It can also point to how disturbed I am as a writer and possibly as a person, the way I have a character killed or how I describe the monsters in the story or how I build up to a terrifying conclusion in a certain scene. Critics will definitely wonder if I’m depraved (always possible), if I was traumatized as a child (yes I was, I wrote a post on it last year) or if I’m trying to corrupt my readers with this vile stuff I write (objection! I seek only to share and entertain while making a little money where I can).  But hey, if Stephen King and Anne Rice and Edgar Allen Poe can write some of the same stuff and survive the scathing criticism, why can’t I?

Besides, there are certain things those same writers above wrote that I do not plan to write (if you haven’t read Stephen King’s IT, please go to the Wikipedia page and read the last sentence of the second-to-last paragraph of the section titled 1957-1958 under Plot. You’ll understand what I mean). Even I have lines I won’t cross, though sometimes they don’t seem obvious to others.

Well, I’ll continue editing Snake and seeing what I find. Hopefully I’ll be able to find some more scenes, be disturbed when it’s necessary, and touch up some scenes to be more disturbing if I think it’s needed. Hopefully I’ll be able to create a novel that will catch on and cause a wave and be praised for its disturbing/thrilling/insert-advective-here aspects. That’s the dream, at least.

In the meantime though, I have to get ready for bed. I’ve got Abnomal Pyschology class in the morning, definitely one of my favorites, and I want to be awake when we discuss treating bipolar disorder. Good night, everybody.

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written about my serial killer thriller Snake, which is about a serial killer hunting down the members of a mafia family in New York City. But yes, as you can tell from the title, I’m working on the second draft. I’m happy to say, I’m getting through it rather speedily, clearing through fourteen chapters in a little less than twenty-four hours. Then again, most of the chapters are less than ten pages, so the fact that I’ve only cleared fourteen chapters in a single day may earn me some accusations of laziness.

Moving on.

So, I’ve gone through fourteen chapters, and so far it’s mostly been polishing up phrasing and grammar. Yes, there have been entire sections of the story that have been rewritten so far, but only one or two, and those entire sections have been small. I’ve also noticed some inconsistencies in what I’ve written at certain points and what I’ve written at certain other points, so I’ve been correcting that when I’ve seen it.

But I’m happy with what I have so far. The entire novel is ninety-something chapters, but I think if I work hard and don’t get too distracted, I should be done in a week or two (thank goodness spring break is coming up). Wish me luck, and I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything about my serial killer novel Snake, but I’m happy to announce I finally got around to doing something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now: add in the Russian.

For those of you who weren’t around during the six months from June-December 2012, Snake follows the Snake, a serial killer that goes after members of a Mafia family for reasons mentioned only in the novel (and not on this blog; that’d give away the whole darn plot). The Snake also speaks Russian, a language I have no heads or tails for, comrades. So I asked a friend of mine I know through OSU’s organization for Jewish students, OSU Hillel, to help me because he’s a native Russian speaker.

Yesterday, my friend sent me some translations and transliterations of the English phrases I sent him, showing me what the phrases I’d written in English looked like in Russian with English characters. I inserted them into the story, and now I don’t have to do anything till I actually start the second draft of Snake next month. I’ll probably add some more Russian in then, but until then, I don’t think I’ll bother my friend.

In hte meantime, I have to go out for a few minutes and take a photo that I’ll use and modify to create the cover for my upcoming collection of short stories, The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones. Sure it’s cold and it’s late, but this photo needs to be taken at night, I only just got done with everything else, and I have an hour until SNL, so I’m good. Time to take some photos.

Do svidanya until I write next. Have a good night.

As many of you know, the Chinese New Year was celebrated recently, ushering in the Year of the Snake. As many of you also know, I recently wrote and completed a thriller novel called Snake, which is about a serial killer hunting mafioso. Since Snake will probably be published sometime before this time next year (hopefully), I thought it was a pretty strange but otherwise wonderful coincidence. Of course, the serial killer whom the novel is named after, the Snake, was probably born in the Year of the Rooster like myself, but still it’s a pretty cool coincidence.

And since it’s the Year of the Snake, I thought I’d give you a small sample of Snake, something to let you get a sense of one of my best written works to date (at least in my opinion). It’s from the first chapter, when one of the Snake’s first victims makes contact with the Snake over the phone. It’s creepy and I love it. Enjoy:

            Paul felt a buzz in his pocket and looked down. Through the fabric in his pants Paul could see the light from his phone shining through. Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and dove into a little alcove where he could take the call in peace. Without checking the number he pressed the talk button and brought the phone to his ear.

            “Hello?” said Paul; on the other end all he could hear was a deep breathing. Paul raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Who is this?” He checked the caller ID, and saw only UNKNOWN NUMBER.

            Suddenly the person at the other end of the phone spoke. “Men in your line of business have no right to be in a church, Mr. Sanonia.”

            Paul stared at the phone, surprised. Glancing quickly around the church, he saw only three people, and none of them were on their phones. How did this person know where he was and how did he get his number? He looked back at the phone and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Who the fuck is this?”

            The man on the other end laughed, a rich, hearty laugh that for some reason chilled Paul’s skin. “When your cousin James Sanonia died, he was shot in the head.” said the man, his voice deep and affected with a heavy Russian accent. “Then several bones were broken all over his body. He was then taken from wherever he was killed and thrown in the Hudson. Dockworkers saw his body floating and pulled him up out of the water. By the time they got him though, there was nothing to identify your cousin’s murderer. Except for one interesting detail, that is.”

            Paul froze, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Who was this guy? How did he know all that? “And what was that detail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

            The man spoke, and Paul froze. “You killed my cousin.” he hissed angrily. “You killed Jamie.”

            “Horrible thing, wasn’t it?” said the Russian man. “I couldn’t get what I wanted out of your cousin. But I’m sure you’ll be much more helpful.”

            Paul was only half-listening; he was looking around the church, trying to find someone—anyone!—on a phone. One of the other worshippers, a teenage girl with a skirt too short for the cold February weather, walked out of the church while texting. Besides her, no one else seemed to have a phone.

            “Where the fuck are you, you crazy shit!” Paul whispered into the phone. “Come on out and face me like a man!”

            “But there is no fun in that.” replied the Russian man. “Besides, you’re so much more amusing to watch.”

            Paul stepped out of the alcove, looking around the church. “Watch?” he repeated.

            “Oh, didn’t I mention it?” asked the Russian man. “I’m right in the church with you.”

My calendar tells me that today is the birthday of Mohammad, the founder of Islam, and I thought I’d mark this on my blog. Why? Because the main character of my science fiction novel Reborn City, Zahara Bakur, is a Muslim teenager, and one of the thintgs I do with her is try to show a side of Muslims not always portrayed in the media.

Muhammad lived in the 6th and 7th centuries in the Arabian peninsula. Around the year 610, he recieved revelations from the Archangel Gabriel, and began preaching in Mecca, stressing the importance of monotheism and lessening the divide between the very rich and the very poor in Mecca. This and a bunch of other events led to Islam, which means “submission to the will of Allah”, spreading across the Middle East and eventually around the world. Today, there are 1.57 billion people who identify themselves as Muslims, and they all look to Muhammad’s example and preachings in order to live life they believe Allah wants them too.

But what I like most about Muhammad is that while I know he felt obligated to carry out the Divine Will, he was mainly motivated by a desire to help others. In fact, before he saw Gabriel, Muhammad was looking into many spiritual practices and ways in order to better himself and those around him. In fact, the reason he went to the cave he met Gabriel in was because of this desire, though he had no idea he’d recieve a revelation there.

In a way, Zahara is very similar in this desire: although she follows many of the edicts of her faith because she believes it is Allah’s Will for her, she also does it because she feels it makes her a better person. Consequently her view of life, molded partially by her faith, allows her to exact a positive change over some of the other characters over time. Of course, she has to get herself about neck deep into trouble to accomplish this, but it’s a science fiction story, so what do you expect?

The point is though, Muhammad tried to help others in ancient Arabia, Zahara tries to help others in a fictional dystopic world, and billions of Muslims across the globe try and help people just by following their faith and being kind to others, as opposed to the images we are sometimes bombarded with depicting Muslims as dangerous. And it is the factual image stated above that I want to remind people of as Muslims everywhere observe the Prophet’s birthday.

Aasalam Ailakum, and thanks for reading.

I’ve written once or twice about having an idea for a story or wanting to write a story with a certain sort of theme/creature/character/whatever in it. Usually those sorts of stories are short stories. However recently I came up with an idea for a novel, and although I had enough for a blurb on the back cover, which is usually what I put down on my Ideas list on my flash drive, I felt it was lacking somehow. I wanted more, because I had a feeling this was the sort of novel (or perhaps series–who knows?) where I might play around with it in my head for years before I got around to writing it.

However, nothing came to me. I knew I wanted one more element, something that wouldn’t be on a blurb but would be central to the story in my head as I played around with it. It was annoying as heck, not being able to come up with something. Romantic rival? Too YA for my tastes. Romantic problems anyway? That’s definitely going to be a part of the plot, but it won’t be the main focus! Some special history to the main character’s special powers? I need something to drive the plot, not enhance it; I didn’t come up with the powers for the main characters of Reborn City till after I knew what sort of story I was writing, so I need to hold off till I have something to work with. Politics? Maybe, but it can’t drive the tale. Family troubles?

Finally, while I was getting ready to take a shower and get to bed, something came to me. Just like that. And I knew how it would connect to the full story and drive the plot and ultimately make it fun for me to work with. I felt such a hit of relief, I very nearly started to sing. Good thing I didn’t sing though; the windows might’ve broke on me! In Columbus in January, you don’t want broken windows.

Now, you know I’m not going to tell you what the story’s about or what I added into it (I’ve told a few people, but I know they’re not going to brag about it or reveal anything they shouldn’t). I will say that I take a classic fairy tale by a Danish author (start Googling…now!) and that I give it the usual Rami Ungar treatment…which means it’ll be distorted and made creepy and possibly a little gory and/or sexual. Hey, I am what I am.

I’ll also tell you that it’s not uncommon for me to come up with an idea for a novel and let it rattle around in my head for a year or more. That’s what happened with Reborn City and what happened with Snake. But when I look at how they turned out, I know that was the right decision; my friend who’s helping me edit RC says he thinks it’s very interesting, and usually his critiques are limited to grammar or extraneous words in the writing, which I can only take as a good thing. As for Snake, I think that’s some of the best writing I’ve ever done, and I’ve only done the first draft!

So this works for me. Maybe by the time I sit down to write this story that I’ve been devoting this post to, it’ll be something so spectacular that maybe I’ll ruin–or enhance–high school and college literature courses with it.

I can dream, can’t I?

In the meantime, stick with me and let’s see how I do in the writing world. I’ve got a lot of ideas, and I’m looking for the right oppurtunities to put each and every one out. I hope you all will be with me as I write them, because your support is what helps me get the words out on paper and eventually, to you.

Normally I wait a week before doing another review, but I think this time I’ll make an exception.

I decided to read The Hunger Games books for a number of reasons. One, because m sister was upset at how many things got changed between book and movie (the movie I saw first) and I wanted to know if it was really something to be upset over (I decided it wasn’t, but actually very clever). Another was that the second film is coming out later this yea and I wanted to be prepared for what I’d find, maybe be as upset as my sister (though that usually doesn’t happen). But finally, I decided to read the books because Ohio State’s having this mock-Hunger Games thing called the OSU Honor Games, a nonviolent contest based on Suzanne Collins’s twisted imagination, and I want to be a tribute for my dorm (go Jones Tower!).

So I read the books. And without going into what I thought of each separate book, I’ll give you my thoughts:

First off, I don’t read a lot of YA, so I don’t necessarily know the conventions that are associated with it. Still, I thought certain moments in the story, Collins relied too much on telling rather than showing. For instance, at the end of Books 2 and 3, Collins ties up events in only a short few paragraphs. At the end of Book 2 I was like, “There’s a rebellion in progress and Katniss was apart of it without knowing it, and yet you expect to tell me that in four little paragraphs and that I’d be satisfied with that? Puh-leaze!” And at the end of Book 3, after Katniss (spoiler alert!) kills Coin while Snow expires from being a sick, bloody old man, I tought Collins was rushing a bit to finish up the story, to have everything resolve itself without doing too much writing or exposition or lengthy conversation. Too much telling, and maybe a little lazy.

Not only was that a problem for me, but at certain points Collins puts us into dramatic moments without putting on the drama. When Katniss and her crew go into the Capital in Book 3 to take down Snow, it seems Collins is deliberately under-dramatizing it, making the mission seem as drawl as possible. I would’ve cued in on Katniss’s feelings as she stepped into the Capital with a gun and bow and arrows, looking around the snow-swept streets and the rising excitement and tension as she awaits her chance to kill Snow.

But Collins decides to just put us smack in the middle of the Capitol, and things only get dramatic when she actually feels like telling us in detail what’s happening instead of summarizing it for us.

And finally, the ending for Book 3 left me stunned. I mean really, Katniss kills Coin just like that? A little out of left field, if you ask me. Where’s the dramatic build-up, the chance to let the world know what Coin did, to refute it so that the world will see how cruel war can make us and make it stick that we shouldn’t fight like monsters? Nope, just kills the old hag after agreeing the Capitol children should participate in a Hunger Games. And speaking of which, did that ever happen? Or after President Coin’s death, did they just decide not to let the Capitol kids not die?

Whatever.

I thought the first book fantastic, but Books 2 and 3 were not as good. Sure, Collins made an effort to make Book 2 more than just a bridge between Books 1 and 3, but at times it dragged, and I thought it took too long to get to the Quarter Quell. And Book 3 alternated between me being interested and me being annoyed and bored.

Plus the resolution of the whole Peeta-Gale thing…Oy Gevalt! I feel like there were so much more to those characters. They were both capable of being great political and military leaders, especially Peeta. But all we really see is their obsessions with Katniss and perhaps a darker side of Peeta after he’s been hijacked. And then the way Katniss finally picks her man…was that Collins’s way of saying, “Oh yeah, this is who she finally picks and how it happens.” I definitely wouldn’t have written it that way, and I think I would’ve gone into Katniss actually weighing her feelings and what each boy represents to her. You know, make it seem like they’re both dreamy and she just can’t choose?

And by the way, what do those guys do at the end of the book? Does Peeta become mayor of District Twelve? Does Gale find a new girl while leading reconstruction efforts in other districts? A little explanation please! God, now I know why the movie went into further detail of the behind-the-scenes stuff: it was needed to make up for what was left out of the novel.

So finally, how about my ranking? For The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay, I give the whole trilogy a 2.6 out of 5. Great premise, great story overall, but there was room for improvement, if you ask me.

I’ve talked about it several times in the past, how much I loathe sequels when the only reason the sequel is being made is for more money and you can see it in how shoddy the final movie is (Hangover 2, anyone? Spider-Man 3? How about Grease 2?). But my science fiction novel Reborn City is part of a trilogy, which means eventually I’ll have to write the second book, which is a sequel.

Now, I have a general idea for the sequel and the final book as well. I also have an idea for a sequel for my serial killer novel Snake. However instead of telling you guys about those when nobody’s read them, I think I’ll tell you about what I think about when I make sequels, with various examples to illustrate my points. So here we go, with my points and tips for writing a sequel:

1. Give them what they want, but give them plenty of what they don’t expect. This is the core of my philosophy in making a sequel. For instance, the movie Aliens was markedly different from Alien. Sure, there were the Xenomorph aliens, it took place in space, and there were gun battles and death. Heck, we could’ve called that there’d be more than one alien the moment we heard there was a sequel. However, nobody could’ve predicted the colony they made, with the Queen leading the pack. Even better, there were a ton of soldiers instead of miners, so we actually got to see some battles, some resistance from the humans. We even had some connections made between Ripley and Newt, Ripley and the cyborg, Ripley and that one living soldier at the end. And the way the Queen showed up on the ship in the end, pissed as any mother when her kids are threatened? Awesome, and nobody saw any of it coming! It’s why the movie is still such a success; people never see it coming the first time they see the movie!

Then look at Taken 2. We have the gunshots, the killing and the kicking ass from Liam Neeson, we have his family reunited (we all saw that coming from the trailers, didn’t we?). But…did it add anything? Was there anything that really stood out for that film? Anything that set it apart from its predecessor? Not really, besides a location change and the daughter Kim doing some more than being a prisoner. The rest was boring and predictable.

2. Don’t recycle. This is an extension of what I said in the last point, but it’s a good point, and too many filmmakers make this mistake when they make sequels. Take the remake of the Friday the 13th franchise (not exactly a sequel, but you get the point). There were five good, scary minutes where we weren’t sure what was happening, where Jason slashed and we were left freaked. But the rest? It seemed like we’d seen it before in previous films. Plenty of stabbing, plenty of sex, all stuff we’d seen before. Nothing that makes this film stand out from any other Friday the 13th film, except how bad it was. So the lesson here kids, is don’t recycle. It’s unoriginal and annoying.

3. Ask yourself, is a sequel necessary? This is a problem with plenty of films these days. In fact, my dad says there are no original films these days, just sequels, remakes, and book adaptations, and to an extent he’s right. I mean, was The Hangover 2 necessary? Kristen Wiig declined a Bridesmaids sequel, which some saw as genius and others saw as ungrateful, but in the end it was a good decision. And remember the fiasco that was Miss Congeniality: Armed and Fabulous? And don’t get me started on Carrie 2: The Rage. Yes, there was a sequel, in the 90’s. It sucked.

4. Add some human tension if you can. By this, I mean that there should be something that puts the characters off their game, like they can’t trust each other or even trust themselves! For example, in Chamber of Secrets, Harry is suspected of being the Heir of Slytherin, tarnishing his reputation at Hogwarts and alienating him from other students. Sure, Ron and Hermione are loyal almost to a fault, but everybody’s suddenly scared of Harry. Harry even starts to suspect that he might be a danger! Then in the 4th book, Goblet of Fire, for several chapters Harry and Ron aren’t speaking, which causes Harry great amounts of anguish because he loses his best friend in the process. You see how this dark aspect adds so much to the story? It gives it so much weight and makes the story stand out more in our minds. Plus afterwards the characters become so much more relatable. So if you can, add this human tension, or other forms of it, because it’ll add so much to the plot.

5. Find a way to make the deus ex machina work. I’ll have to use Harry Potter again, this time Deathly Hallows. Remember how Harry died and then came back to life simply because he was the 7th Horcrux and everybody was sacrificing themselves for him and vice versa (spoiler alert? It might’ve not been the best way to resolve a plot, but it was clever and it sure as heck worked. In fact, JK Rowling was very good at using deus ex machina and making it work in her HP books. If you can figure out how to pull of a deus ex machina and make it work, you’ve got a great tool in your writing arsenal.

6. You don’t have to connect the sequel’s plot to the last story. In Die Hard 2, John McClane is facing a colonel trying to bring a South American dictator back to his country. In no way was this movie about getting revenge against John McClane for killing Alan Rickman’s character in the original Die Hard. It was an entirely different story, the only connections to the last film a few choice characters, especially John and Holly McClane, and a few passing references to the Nakatomi Tower of the first film. And Die Hard 2 was awesome, almost better than Die Hard! If you can do this with your story, it’ll be original, and you’re readers will respond positively to it, in most cases.

Usually, anyway.

7. Know your limit. This is important, because a lot of series, books and films, keep producing new entries when they’ve long since expired. It’s difficult to keep coming up with an original plot to add to a series, and only a few, like the James Bond films, can do it with any sort of success. Others, like Nightmare on Elm Street or the Halloween series, kept making sequels that got worse and worse, and eventually only hardcore fans watched them, if just to put them in their memories because the entries are part of their favorite franchises. So if you plan on making a series, make sure how many entries you plan to put in before you start to sound repetitive and are grasping at straws in order not to recycle old stories. Trust me, your fans will thank you for it.

That’s all I have to say on the subject. If you have any other tips you want to contribute, I’ll add them in a sequel post. I hope you found this helpful and you gain something from it. Oh, and for those of you wondering when Reborn City is coming out, I’m working on it, I’m having a friend critique it, and it’s taking a little longer than I expected. Please be patient, I hope to have it out before the summer.

Remember when I said in my last post that it was possible someone was searching for articles about the Snake? Well, something interesting just happened: I went to my Stats page, and I find someone was referred to my blog after putting in the search terms “Camerlengo Mafia”. I was shocked, because Camerlengo–meaning “chamerlain” in Italian–is the name of the mafia family whose members the Snake stalks and attacks. Now, beyond this blog, I haven’t really discussed the Snake in great detail to anyone beyond that he’s a serial killer who hunts the mafia. I haven’t shown anyone the first draft, and I only told the psychologist the name of the mafia family when I gave him the Snake’s history in order to form a diagnosis (which, by the way, turned out that the Snake doesn’t fit a single diagnosis).

I wondered if this was some sort of strange coincidence, so I went to Google and typed in “camerlengo mafia” myself. To my surprise, the only other articles beside mine were Wikipedia articles about various mafioso and cardinals, and a few Italian dictionaries that involved words like “mafia” and “camerlengo” appearing in the same section. So someone’s been searching for the Camerlengo Family, possibly to see if there’s an actual family by that name (and if there is, they don’t have a website), and lately I’ve been getting a lot of hits from Russia that coincide on days when either Snake articles are being read and the search terms either involve the word “snake” or the Cyrillic word for snake. I’m no detective, but I’m starting to wonder if this is somehow all connected.

If it is, I find it a little flattering that someone’s looking for the Snake so much. Hopefully I ‘ll get the novel out soon, but I don’t plan to start editing for a little while yet. Be patient though; I’ll have something out soon, God willing, and perhaps it’ll feature a serial killer who speaks Russian and uses Russian torture techniques.

Oh, and if there is someone who is searching for the Snake, and that person stumbles across this blog post, thanks for visiting and feel free to leave a comment. Just make sure it’s in English when you comment, because I’m not sure if a comment in Cyrillic will be translated or sorted as spam.