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After Tonight’s Workshop

Posted: January 16, 2013 in Living and Life, Progress Report, short story, Writing
Tags: college life, editing, Ohio State University, publishing, short story, The Quiet Game, writing

Well, I got out of the workshop in one piece. And I’ve been given a lot of feedback on how to improve the story. I have a feeling that since the class is more literary focused, the suggestions will ultimately move the story in a more literary direction.

Oh well, I’m getting what I asked for, and there’s enough fantastical elements to this story to make it genre enough for me.

The story is called “Addict”, and it’s about a guy trying to get over his sex addiction. I wrote it in second person (“you walk into a bar, you see the man flirting with your girl, you snap”) because this story was inspired by the experiences of a friend of mine who battled sex addiction. Not everyone was thrilled with the second person thing, but I’m planning on keeping that. I may add a second character with a third-person perspective though.

I may also do some expanding of the plot to include some other elements, such as more weird hallucinations and a reason why the character tries to get off the sex and porn. This is going into my upcoming collection, The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones, so my classmates won’t know how this story evolved until the collection comes out. I hope they like it, but even if they don’t they’ll get a mention in the acknowledgements section.

I want to get to editing, but first I’ll head home, shower, and then relax a little before I do. Have a good night and wish me luck.

Tonight’s Workshop

Posted: January 16, 2013 in Living and Life, Progress Report, short story, Writing
Tags: college life, editing, Ohio State University, short story, The Quiet Game, writing

Tonight my creative writing class will be workshopping my short story “Addict”, one of the short stories going into my upcoming collection The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones. I’m looking forward to it, because I want these stories to be of the highest quality possible before I publish them. I also like feedback from neutral parties such as my classmates, because they point out stuff we don’t even see. That’s one flaw we writers have: we’re so proud of 0ur work, we don’t always see the flaws in it that others might see and point out.

Well, whatever the outcome is, I’ll let you guys know how it goes. There’s nothing on TV tonight that I’m interested in, so after class I plan to go on an editing binge. If any of the other short stories I’ve sent for critiquing get sent back to me, it’ll be all the better.

So watch out for my post tonight. Until then, have a nice day.

Review: “The Hunger Games” Trilogy

Posted: January 13, 2013 in Novel, Reflections, Review, Writing
Tags: entertainment, films, novel, Ohio State University, review, The Hunger Games, writing

Normally I wait a week before doing another review, but I think this time I’ll make an exception.

I decided to read The Hunger Games books for a number of reasons. One, because m sister was upset at how many things got changed between book and movie (the movie I saw first) and I wanted to know if it was really something to be upset over (I decided it wasn’t, but actually very clever). Another was that the second film is coming out later this yea and I wanted to be prepared for what I’d find, maybe be as upset as my sister (though that usually doesn’t happen). But finally, I decided to read the books because Ohio State’s having this mock-Hunger Games thing called the OSU Honor Games, a nonviolent contest based on Suzanne Collins’s twisted imagination, and I want to be a tribute for my dorm (go Jones Tower!).

So I read the books. And without going into what I thought of each separate book, I’ll give you my thoughts:

First off, I don’t read a lot of YA, so I don’t necessarily know the conventions that are associated with it. Still, I thought certain moments in the story, Collins relied too much on telling rather than showing. For instance, at the end of Books 2 and 3, Collins ties up events in only a short few paragraphs. At the end of Book 2 I was like, “There’s a rebellion in progress and Katniss was apart of it without knowing it, and yet you expect to tell me that in four little paragraphs and that I’d be satisfied with that? Puh-leaze!” And at the end of Book 3, after Katniss (spoiler alert!) kills Coin while Snow expires from being a sick, bloody old man, I tought Collins was rushing a bit to finish up the story, to have everything resolve itself without doing too much writing or exposition or lengthy conversation. Too much telling, and maybe a little lazy.

Not only was that a problem for me, but at certain points Collins puts us into dramatic moments without putting on the drama. When Katniss and her crew go into the Capital in Book 3 to take down Snow, it seems Collins is deliberately under-dramatizing it, making the mission seem as drawl as possible. I would’ve cued in on Katniss’s feelings as she stepped into the Capital with a gun and bow and arrows, looking around the snow-swept streets and the rising excitement and tension as she awaits her chance to kill Snow.

But Collins decides to just put us smack in the middle of the Capitol, and things only get dramatic when she actually feels like telling us in detail what’s happening instead of summarizing it for us.

And finally, the ending for Book 3 left me stunned. I mean really, Katniss kills Coin just like that? A little out of left field, if you ask me. Where’s the dramatic build-up, the chance to let the world know what Coin did, to refute it so that the world will see how cruel war can make us and make it stick that we shouldn’t fight like monsters? Nope, just kills the old hag after agreeing the Capitol children should participate in a Hunger Games. And speaking of which, did that ever happen? Or after President Coin’s death, did they just decide not to let the Capitol kids not die?

Whatever.

I thought the first book fantastic, but Books 2 and 3 were not as good. Sure, Collins made an effort to make Book 2 more than just a bridge between Books 1 and 3, but at times it dragged, and I thought it took too long to get to the Quarter Quell. And Book 3 alternated between me being interested and me being annoyed and bored.

Plus the resolution of the whole Peeta-Gale thing…Oy Gevalt! I feel like there were so much more to those characters. They were both capable of being great political and military leaders, especially Peeta. But all we really see is their obsessions with Katniss and perhaps a darker side of Peeta after he’s been hijacked. And then the way Katniss finally picks her man…was that Collins’s way of saying, “Oh yeah, this is who she finally picks and how it happens.” I definitely wouldn’t have written it that way, and I think I would’ve gone into Katniss actually weighing her feelings and what each boy represents to her. You know, make it seem like they’re both dreamy and she just can’t choose?

And by the way, what do those guys do at the end of the book? Does Peeta become mayor of District Twelve? Does Gale find a new girl while leading reconstruction efforts in other districts? A little explanation please! God, now I know why the movie went into further detail of the behind-the-scenes stuff: it was needed to make up for what was left out of the novel.

So finally, how about my ranking? For The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay, I give the whole trilogy a 2.6 out of 5. Great premise, great story overall, but there was room for improvement, if you ask me.

Done Researching, So Onto The Fifth Short Story

Posted: January 7, 2013 in Progress Report, Scary Stuff, short story, Writing
Tags: college life, Ohio State University, scary stuff, short story, writing

Today was my first day of class in the new semester, but I only have the one class on Mondays, and then the rest of the day I’m free. So I got my homework done, ran a few errands, put a load of laundry through, and spent the rest of the day doing research for that fifth and final short story for the collection I’ve been writing. The research was specificially about Native American cultures and their belief systems. I focused mainly on the belief systems of the Apache, Mojave, and Navajo cultures, mainly because they are all in the same area, at least two of these tribes share a common ancestral tribe, and because a good amount of myths involving dogs, coyotes, and wolves come from those areas.

This story will be the one I planned involving a black dog spirit. Black dogs, as you may guess, are symbols of death and destruction and usually derive from the myth of Cerberus in Greco-Roman mythology. Of course, the Native Americans probably only first encountered Cerberus in classrooms where they learned the myths of the Greeks, but the fact that they have their own myths involving black dogs, wolves, and coyotes points to how large a role these creatures played in their belief systems. Either that, or Jung was really onto something.

I also learned quite a bit on the Navajo belief of Hozho, or beauty, harmony, balance, and health. Many ceremonies in Navajo culture are meant to restore this in someone who is feeling ill, and there are a variety of ceremonies, chants, and methods to heal someone who is suffering from any number of maladies. If you ask me, Hozho sounds like a very Zen belief, so score another one for Jung.

Well, I’m going to get to work on this short story before dinner. Hopefully I’ll be able to get this all done by the end of the week, though with my school work and my job taking priority and it being the first week of the semester, anything could happen. Wish me luck.

Getting Ready For A New Workshop

Posted: January 6, 2013 in Living and Life, Progress Report, short story, Writing
Tags: college life, editing, Ohio State University, publishing, short story, writing

I signed up for another creative writing course this semester, though this one you have to apply and submit a portfolio to get in. The teacher was worried that I’d be unable to do well in the class because the focus of the class is literary fiction and genre fiction, which I prefer. But hey, some of my ideas straddle the border between literary and genre, so I might just survive.

In the meantime, I’m looking forward to the first class. I volunteered to write a short story and submit it to the class to be workshopped on the first day. The short story I’m submitting is “Addict”, one of the short stories I wrote during winter vacation. “Addict”, for those of you who don’t know, is based on some of the experiences of a friend of mine who was addicted to sex and pornography, and I plan on adding it to a collection of short stories I hope to put out by the end of the semester.

“Addict” is literary enough that I can submit it to the class and have them take a look over it. Just earlier today, I decided to take one more look at it before I submit it. I’m hoping they like this story; I wrote it out in a day, and it’s rare for me to be able to write any short story that quickly with that sort of flow. Whether they like it or not, I think it has potential, but I’m glad I’m having somebody look at it beforehand, because then I get an unbiased opinion.

I’ll let you know what the class thinks when I’m done with the workshop. Hopefully I won’t have to do too much editing, though that’s usually easier than the writing. At least I’ll get the workshop out of the way rather quickly, and on the plus side, I’ll be able to set the tone of the class for a bit with this short story.

All for now. Blog on you later.

Autumn Semester 2012: The Wrap-Up

Posted: December 18, 2012 in Living and Life, Progress Report
Tags: college life, Ohio State University

Well folks, I got all my grades back from this past semester, so you know what that means! Time to tell you how I did, what I wish I could’ve done, and what I hope for the coming semester. Oh, and this was Ohio State’s first semester, so the fact that I managed to survive the extra six weeks and did so well is a good sign. Oh, and for those of you who are new to Rami Ungar the Writer, I’m double majoring in both History and in English. I think those are great majors for a writer to have, don’t you?

Okay, so my classes: I had Documentary, Creative Fiction Writing, History, and Philosophy, and all but Philosophy I got A’s in. Documentary was a sort of experimental class, where we spent time around computers creating audio and video recordings about our writing styles, along with creative art projects meant to explain our connection to a certain book of literary renown (I did John Milton’s Paradise Lost). Creative Friction Writing, although more literary than I expected, was interesting, and it gave me a short story I plan to submit to a certain magazine right after I finish writing this post. History was about the discipline of Historical Studies and explain how historians went about their business. I probably did the best in that class, getting A’s on nearly all my assignments, and doing a kick-ass project on the history of Holocaust awareness in America. I passed Philosophy with a grade lower than I’d hoped for, but my final paper got an A-, which was higher than I expected, so hurray for me. Also, I’m now able to point out how a certain article may have dubious statistics in it, so that’s a useful skill.

I also went to my first home football game this semester, and I got to see President Obama speak. These were all very special occasions for me, and I totally enjoyed myself.

Next semester I’ll be taking four classes: another Creative Fiction Writing, which I had to apply for to get in (it’s that special, apparently); a History class on World War II, which is a part of my History focus; an American Literature course, which may encompass anything from Washington Iriving to Catcher in the Rye; and as an elective, I ‘m taking Abnormal Psychology (aka Where Everything We Learn Could Potentially Be Applied to My Family). I’m certainly looking forward to this coming semester, especially since as time goes by the weather will get warmer.

Or maybe it won’t get warmer; Ohio weather is often strange and unpredictable.

All for now. Tune in next semester to see how I’m doing.

Presenting My History Project

Posted: December 6, 2012 in Living and Life
Tags: college life, Ohio State University, WWII/Holocaust

Me next to my project; I'm not wearing my glasses because they were still getting used to the lack of sunlight. How do you like my poster?

Me next to my project; I’m not wearing my glasses because they were still getting used to the lack of sunlight. How do you like my project?

Today, my history class met one last time to show our final projects gallery-style. The subject of my history class was an overview of the Historical Studies discipline, which involves the history of history (yes, that does exist); how history is gathered; how we classify different types of history; and other fun and interesting topics for historians and History majors to talk about. For our final project, each of us had to demonstrate the research and detective skills we were supposed to have developed over the past semester, and create our own poster detailing a subject of our choosing. I chose to do the history of Holocaust awareness in America, since the Holocaust is the focus of my History major, and I used a book by Peter Novick, The Holocaust in American Life, as my main source of information.

My project went very well; I learned a lot and put it all into an interesting and colorful tri-fold that looked at the Holocaust in America from 1945 to now, and how the Holocaust was at first ignored in the US before gaining prominence in the sixties and becoming a part of our culture in the latter years of the twentieth century. There were also some other projects that were pretty interesting: several posters involved the second World War, including Ohio’s contribution to the war effort, the experiences of soldiers who participated in D-Day, and the US propaganda for the war effort. One guy did the history of the jazz industry here in Columbus (I didn’t know Columbus even had a jazz industry), while one girl looked at the founding of Israel from the perspective of Israeli-Arab relations of the times. One girl looked at the growth of Columbus over the years, and another guy did the history of white-tailed deer in Ohio. Each project though, was well-researched and the student put a lot of effort into their project’s presentation, so they all definitely deserve A’s.

Now, my teacher had us all go around and grade our projects from 1-5, with 5 being a bad grade and 1 being an awesome grade (we also had some guests who helped in the grading). The person(s) with the best grades will recieve a prize or two, so here’s hoping people liked my project. We also have to turn in a 5-page paper on our research subjects. Since I didn’t want to just rehash what I put on my tri-fold, I asked my teacher if I could do the problems associated with teaching the Holocaust in public schools (yes, such problems exist). He said yes, so I’m in the middle of working on a kick-ass paper. I’m about 2 1/2 pages in, so hopefully I’ll be done by Monday, when the report is due.

So to Dr. Kobo and my classmates, thanks for an interesting semester. Let’s do well in the future and make our own history. Good luck to you all.

NaNoWriMo’s Over Now

Posted: December 1, 2012 in Living and Life, Progress Report, Writing
Tags: college life, editing, Ohio State University, writing

It’s December 1st, so that means National Novel Writing Month is over. I was in it, then I was out, and then I was in again. I got over 30,000 words written of Snake written, which is not bad at all, especially when you consider all the breaks I had to take for class work and for my part-time job. But hey, I think next year I could make 50k. Who knows?

In the meantime, I’ll work on finishing Snake and publishing Reborn City; I’ll keep my grades up and do well at work; I’ll work on several short stories after Snake is finished; I’ll work on losing some unwanted weight I’ve accumulated over the semester; and I’ll just try to be a better person, I guess. Also, National Short Story Month is in May, about six months from now, so that’s something to look forward to.

And to the people who participated in NaNoWriMo, whether you reached your goal or not, congratulations and I hope you get 50k next year! Let’s work hard as writers and do our best.

My Last Creative Writing Class

Posted: November 30, 2012 in Living and Life, Writing
Tags: college life, editing, Ohio State University, short story, writing

Well today we had our last meeting in my English 2265 class, Introduction to Creative Fiction. I don’t think it’ll surprise that many people, but I did very well in this class. Still, it could be difficult at times, especially since I had to write a literary short story with only genre elements. That was rough. Luckily the second draft went very well, so I think that one I could potentially get published.

Well, we did our final critiques and revision exercises in class, someone passed around candy, we filled out some papers meant to grade the teacher (God I love that), and somehow at the end I managed to convince the entire class to join me in a singing of “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley. It was pretty funny, actually. After the class I had to listen to that song on my iPod.

I also turned in my final portfolio for the class, which included my initial draft of Doll’s Game, the revision exercise I had to turn in and read to the class, the global revision (or as I call it, the rewrite) and an essay where I went over how I incorporated the material from the critique session into my short story. I think I’m one of the person to turn their portfolio in, so hopefully my teacher will get to it first. I really would like that to be the case, because I want to send Doll’s Game (or as I renamed it, Animal Child) to a certain new magazine I’ve heard about.

Here’s to a good grade. Have a great weekend.

Rami Ungar The Writer

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