Posts Tagged ‘reflections’

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you might have noticed I’m blogging a lot less than I used to. Or you haven’t noticed because you have a life and are too busy to keep track of that sort of thing.

But I’ve noticed. I would. I write this blog. And I’ve noticed that I’m blogging less.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I’m disenchanted with blogging. I love it! I’ve been writing this blog for over fourteen years and I don’t intend to stop now! Besides, I’ve met some wonderful friends and readers through blogging. And it is still one of the main avenues of how I let people know when I have something new coming out.

But life keeps me busy. Not only do I have a day job that occupies a lot of my time, I have a lot of other responsibilities that come with being a functioning adult in this crazy society. And then I have to find time to eat, sleep, and relax. And then, after all that, there’s time to write. And I’m spending a lot of time on those stories so I can get them out there and hopefully get them published.

With all that happening, it cuts down on blogging time. And when I do blog, I want it to mean something. I want it to be more than just advertising for Rami Ungar’s books. I mean, I do want people to check out my books, but my blog should be more than that. It should be a way for my readers and friends to connect with me. So, what I post here should be important.

That being said, I just don’t have the energy to talk about politics or current events on my blog like I did in my college days. I mean, I could. I get angry like everyone else. But I feel like if I try writing my feelings out on my blog like that, I would be doing that every day for the rest of my life! Which would probably be short, because my blood pressure would skyrocket from the constant anger and anxiety and dealing with commenters who may not agree with my views.

So, I try and save those posts for when I feel it’s really needed and it can’t be said in just a Facebook post.

An accurate representation of me considering whether something is worth blogging about. Photo by Athena Sandrini on Pexels.com

And that’s another thing: if it can be said in a short post on one of my social media profiles, I probably won’t say it here. Whether that be politics, or Hollywood adapting the same Stephen King stories for the umpteenth time, or just a moment in my day that felt very impactful. If I can say it in just a short post on Facebook or Instagram or whatever, it probably won’t be said here. It needs to be worth filling a blog post for.

All that conspires to keep me from blogging more often. And part of me is not okay with that, because, as I said, I love blogging. I love the interaction and I love keeping this thing I’ve created going. But I have to accept that, as much as I love to blog, I don’t always have a lot to blog about. And if I try to force it, I will feel burned out and not want to blog any more. And I would hate that even more.

On the bright side, I have no intention to stop blogging. I still intend for this blog to be one of the main avenues for my Followers of Fear to get to know me and hear important updates on my life and career. I just won’t be averaging six or seven blog posts a month, like I used to. (Yes, I did the math.)

But hey, at least you know that when I do put something out there on this blog, it’s because I really feel it needs to be shared on this blog. And isn’t that why blogs exist in the first place? Because we have something worth saying? I think it is.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’m sorry if I worried one or two of you by my less-frequent posts. On the bright side, next week, I should have at least one thing to blog about. I’ve been sitting on an announcement since the beginning of the month, and I may finally be able to speak about it very soon.

But until that time comes, good night, my Followers of Fear, and pleasant nightmares. I’ll be seeing you very soon. Possibly by jumping out from under your bed and shouting “Boo!” I mean, would you put it past me?

See you soon.

So, for a couple of years now, I’ve had a few novellas lying around. Half of them were edited extensively and had even been sent out to publishers. The other half had only been edited so much and needed a lot more. And on-and-off, between The Shape of Evil and multiple short projects, I’ve edited and rewritten these novellas and even sent them off once or twice.

When did I decide to just turn them into a four-novella collection?

Honestly, I can’t remember. All I know is, I find something very special and prestigious about four-novella collections. It’s not a collection of multiple short stories or a full-length novel, but something in-between. Not to mention there’s been some really good ones over the years, like Four Past Midnight or Different Seasons, both by Stephen King. Or Ronald Malfi’s Ghostwritten (that one is so good!). And the idea of taking these novellas and making a collection out of them just took hold of me.

And some time last year, I started editing the two novellas that needed more editing with the goal of getting them edited to the point where I wanted to show them to others. I gave each of them another draft, then sent them off to beta readers. Once the beta readers finished with the stories and sent me their notes, I gave them both another round of edits. Which I finished doing last night.

So, now the collection of novellas is complete. And I’ve already sent it off to a publishing house. With any luck, they’ll want to publish it. If not, I’ll try elsewhere, though I have a good feeling about the place I sent it to in the first place (why else would I send it there?). Whatever happens, I’ll keep you guys posted. After all, you know how much I love letting people know when I have stories coming out.

For now, though, I have a couple of short stories to edit before I send them off to potential publishers. And after that, I’ll do something short and new for my critique group, followed by another draft of The Shape of Evil (still trying to find a home for that, but I think there are some ways to improve it while I’m waiting to hear back from a few places). In other words, I’m going to be busy.

But hey, I feel like all this is leading me closer to being able to write full time, which would be my dream come true. And if my Tarot readings lately are anything to go by, I might be on the cusp of realizing that dream (or opening up the path towards it). So, better keep busy and get it done.

Being busy and getting lots of stories out there is how I’m going to make my dreams come true.

And in the meantime, if you’re looking for something spooky to read, I already have six books and a few short stories out (including some that are free to download). From plant/human hybrids and strange gods to Mafia-hunting serial killers and carnivorous horses, I have something for every horror fan, so why not give it a try? I’ll include a link to my books page below. And if you like what you read, please consider giving what you read a review online. Positive or negative, I love reader feedback, and it helps me and your fellow readers in the long run.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’ll try to tune in again some time later this week. Until then, good night and pleasant nightmares.

Life has been weird lately. And I’m the one saying that!

I mean, first there’s the weather lately. If you didn’t know somehow, most of North America had a huge snow storm, known as Winter Storm Fern, that covered most of the US and parts of our neighbors in several feet of snow. It was so bad, we actually had to work from home for a couple of days (though I went into the office more days than most of my colleagues)! To illustrate, here’s what my yard looked like before the snow fell.

And here’s what it looked like the next morning.

Yikes! You can see why I didn’t go into work the following Monday. And how much trouble it was to shovel all that snow out of the driveway the night before I had to go back into work. And most of this snow is still there! It’s been shoveled away or to the side in some places, but there are still areas where the snow is still high and even the roads are blocked in areas. And with the temperature constantly below freezing and even into the negatives, I don’t see it going away any time soon.

And then there’s the deer. Last Sunday, the night before I was going to work from home, I looked out the window and saw a family of deer out in my yard. To say the least, I was astounded. I live near some wooded areas, and I’d seen deer walking around before, but this was the first time I’d seen them on my front lawn. I’m guessing that they were walking about because there were fewer vehicles out and they felt it was safe to wander.

So, naturally, I took some pics before they walked off.

So, on its own, that was cool. But then, just a couple days ago, on Sunday, I had an encounter with deer again! And this time, it was in Cleveland! Yeah, I was in Cleveland visiting friends and hanging with my dad and stepmom. And on Sunday, as I was about to leave for Columbus, I look out the window onto their back porch, and there was a deer!

Yeah, I was surprised. There it was, so close to me! Eating from my dad’s bird feeder! In the middle of the day! And three or four more showed up and then walked away. All of them tagged as part of some local tracking program (kid you not, one had a collar and earrings with the number 64 on them). Did not see that coming!

So, two Sundays in a row, I spot deer near where I’m staying. Is that a coincidence because both my home and my dad’s home are near wooded areas? Or is someone trying to send me a message? We’ll see if I spot any this coming Sunday. If I do, I’ll consider it a sign. Hopefully not from Nokotan, though.

Anime fans will get that joke and find it hilarious!

And there’s a whole bunch of other weird happening lately. Just today, I found out Columbus, where I live, is going to be hosting some soccer games for the Summer 2028 Olympics! Columbus, of all places! I know we have a couple of MLS stadiums, but I never would have thought we would be a host city or a satellite host city. Hell, I know we don’t have facilities for some of the events, so I never considered it a possibility.

Still, it looks like it’s happening. And given how many people are likely to show up in Columbus for the games, I think I will get out of town. Hopefully I will be writing full time by then and can leave town as needed. But if not, hopefully I’ll be able to take enough time off from work that I can get out of town for the duration of the games. As to where I’ll go, we’ll see where I am in life when I get there.

And that’s a good segue into another weird thing: my writing. It’s slowed down a bit lately.

I wish I knew why. I’m doing the self-care rituals I need to, and I’m leaving time in the evenings to write. But a lot of evenings I don’t have time to write. And when I do, it moves a lot more slowly than I would like. That might be partly because I’ve had to rewrite parts of the story I’m editing and finding the right way to tell the story takes time. Still, for a guy who’s trying to get a whole bunch of stories submitted for publication this year, this is frustrating.

Well, hopefully that changes soon. All my Tarot readings are showing February to be a good month for me, so perhaps things will speed up for me after Akronomicon this weekend. Maybe it’ll also warm up and the snow will melt, and I won’t get any malevolent messages from local deer populations. That would be nice!

Because let’s face it, life is already kind of mad, and I’m already an eccentric (and I have the stories to match). Making things even weirder in a way that just frustrates me and everyone else does nobody any favors!


One more thing, Followers of Fear: as I said, Akronomicon is this weekend. It’ll be at the Emidio Expo Center in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, just outside of Akron, on Saturday, February 7th, 2026. This is a fun day-long horror convention with celebrity guests, plenty of cool vendors, and this year, a film festival! If you can, please stop by. I will be signing books and doing Tarot readings, and would love to see you.

And if you can’t make it and would still like to support me, or if you’re in the mood for some creative horror stories, why not check out some of my books? From plant/human hybrids and strange gods to Mafia-hunting serial killers and carnivorous horses, I have something for everyone (including some free stuff). So, click the link below, and you’ll find all my books, as well as where to purchase them.

And if you like what you read, please leave a review online. Positive or negative, I love reader feedback, and it helps me and other readers out in the long run.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’m off to bed so I have energy to function tomorrow. Until next time, good night and pleasant nightmares.

Nothing says “self-care” like a cup of tea. Photo by Maria Tyutina on Pexels.com

Between the below-freezing temperatures, the overly gray skies most days, and a few other things, I’ve been feeling heavy and low. Some mornings, it takes me an extra ten or even twenty minutes just to get out of the condo and to work. And yesterday? Yesterday, I felt so tired after work, it was like I had multiple weights on my back and arms!

So, instead of writing, I took the night off for some self-care. I made matzo ball soup, watched a lot of anime, drank some tea, and went to bed early. I would have added more, but there was only so much time between when I got home and the time I decided to go to bed. The result: I felt great when I woke up this morning! I was even able to get to work a bit earlier and felt full of energy for most of the day. Hell, if I had more time tonight, I might edit up a storm before hitting the hay. (Ah time. You quick bastard!)

Self-care needs to be a bigger part of our routines as people living in the modern world. So many stressors attack us daily, and mental/emotional health can have a real impact on physical health (like those weights I felt on my body). Some days, like yesterday, I’m so out of sorts, not even writing can relax me like it usually does. And it’s times like those we need to indulge ourselves in some healthy comforts.

You know, another blogger I follow, journalist Caitlin Kelly, did a blog post not too long ago about what comforts her when times are tough. I think I will take a page out of her book and list some of the things that make me feel better when I’m stressed and in need of self-care. They are:

Watching a good movie. Especially a movie I really love. Doesn’t necessarily need to be horror, but more often than not, it is.

Bingeing good anime. Sometimes, the right anime can even help me process whatever issue is causing me anxiety.

Visiting some of my favorite places around Columbus, like Hofbrauhaus, Tensuke Market, or the Ohio Theater. It’s even better when I’m there with my friends or family.

Watching Law & Order/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit on a Thursday night with a glass of beer.

A good glass of wine.

Making wine at home and watching it become something beautiful and tasty.

This is some pumpkin wine I made not too long ago. The process of making it was a lot of fun.

A nice, hot cup of tea before bed.

A nice, hot cup of tea during the course of the day.

A relaxing massage. I have one of those scheduled soon, so I look forward to it.

Uninterrupted reading.

Sleeping in my nice, warm bed.

Watching anime or YouTube videos while cycling on my exercise bike. Fantasy anime and videos on media analysis or animals are especially nice.

A visit to the chiropractor. I always feel better after an adjustment!

Cuddling. I don’t mean romantic cuddling, but cuddling with an animal or platonic cuddling with someone I trust. Hell, there are actually professional cuddlers who help people who need that sort of contact regularly. Sadly, I don’t have the time/money/energy for a pet at this time, and there are no professional cuddlers in my area, so it’s not something I get to do often.

Doctor Who!

Something sweet to eat! Can’t be too sugary or too often for health reasons, but I still love when I can have a little indulgence.

Going ghost hunting! That might just be a me thing, but it works.

It may be very haunted, but all I ever feel when I’m at the Ohio State Reformatory is joy.

Writing! Working on my stories helps me most days relax after a long day of work. Though, like yesterday, there are days where I’m too tired to even do that.

And that’s all I can think of at the moment. Plus, this post is getting long. So, I’ll just say this: take care of yourself. When you need it, take some time for self-care. Otherwise, when you do have free time, you won’t even be able to do the things you normally love doing (such as me when I couldn’t write).

What do you do when you need some self-care? Anything on this list you’d add? Let’s discuss.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’m off to bed so I have strength for work tomorrow. Until next time, good night and pleasant nightmares.

Nobody likes feeling anxiety. The tightening chest, the quickening heartbeat, the cold sweat and the panicky thoughts. It makes us dread the future and even the present. You look anywhere online, you’ll find numerous articles about how to combat anxiety that range from medication to breathing exercises to a variety of cognitive exercises. And in our crazy world, there’s never been a higher need for those combat tools.

But what if I told you there’s a form of anxiety that’s good for you? A form of anxiety that helps you?

A growing body of research suggests that we might be looking at anxiety all wrong. Rather than treating everyday anxiety as a disease or a problem, as we’ve been doing for decades, we need to see how anxiety can positively affect us. Known as “positive anxiety” or “good anxiety,” this anxiety helps us in our daily lives. According to the articles I read (which I will link to below), anxiety reminds us of uncertainties in the future, how those uncertainties can affect us, and to plan how to deal with them.

In other words, anxiety can give you a to-do list against unknowns and negative scenarios, and even increase your productivity as part of dealing with those unknowns.

Now, I’m not saying all anxiety is positive. Anxiety disorders, which are when constant or reoccurring anxiety impairs your life and makes it hard to function (like what I’ve had since 2018), are serious medical diseases and should be treated accordingly. I know my GAD improved dramatically with medication, coping techniques, and talking therapy. And with anxiety being a daily occurrence, we all could use ways to cope, including avoiding sources of anxiety.

However, emotional regulation isn’t about avoidance or immediate pacification. Instead, it’s about feeling/recognizing your emotions, and engaging with them in a healthy manner. And using anxiety to motivate you, rather than paralyze you or force you into a safe zone, sounds like healthy engagement to me.

So, why am I bringing all this up? Because I’ve been feeling positive anxiety on a more frequent basis. With the pitch sessions back in June; with phone meetings with some of the people I pitched to; and when I’m about to start a big project. I felt it most recently when I had a couple of stories to edit. Overall, the beta readers liked the stories, but they had a lot of notes. And that kind of made me anxious. Would I be able to incorporate that feedback? Would I be able to bring out the full potential of these stories before I started shopping them around?

Rather than run away (AKA never work on those stories again), I decided to start small. At least get started on the projects and see what I can do, I thought. Then, if it goes well, keep going. Lo and behold, that worked and I was able to get started on the edits. And while I’m not sure any of the stories are as good as they could be, they’re definitely at a point where I wouldn’t mind sending them out to publishers.

And when I was doing the pitch sessions, I felt anxious, but I didn’t let that take control. Instead, I started making plans. I did research on all the agents/editors accepting pitches, learned from others what the pitches were like and what to expect, and practiced several times. And while I’m still working on finding The Shape of Evil a home, I’m happy to say that I made great progress on that front because of the pitch sessions and and the prep I did for them.

Anxiety can sometimes work with your writing career, rather than against it.

So as it turns out, anxiety can be a help when it comes to writing. It can also be a hindrance, no doubt (so many writers I know deal with mental health struggles, same as me). But we can use it motivate, plan, and accomplish our goals. How do we do that?

Well, first off, if you feel anxiety, take a deep breath (that really does work). And if the anxiety is negatively impacting your life, discuss it with a medical or psychological professional. Believe me, therapy and medication can work. But after those steps, do the following:

  • Identify what’s giving you anxiety. Is it starting a project? Trying to get it published? Once you figure it out, you can work on the next steps:
  • Figure out what you ultimately want to do. If you want to move forward, you need to state your goal.
  • Make a plan with steps on how to accomplish your goals. I would recommend doing that with any goal, but doing that to help with anxiety works. Especially if you factor in balancing your mental health with breaks and whatnot. And finally:
  • Go and do the thing. Once you get it done, your anxiety will become a thing of the past, and it’ll be easier to repeat the tasks that give you anxiety in the future.

Anxiety can be rough. But there are benefits to anxiety, and if you figure out how to use anxiety to your advantage, it can help you reach your goals. Just don’t neglect your mental health if you seriously need to care for yourself. After all, the most important thing is that you’re able to function and enjoy life to the fullest. Everything beyond that is just to enhance your enjoyment of that life.

Sources:
How we misunderstand anxiety and miss out on its benefits, University of California
Good Anxiety Does Exist. Here’s How You Can Benefit From It, NPR

I don’t usually do this. I usually try to keep my focus on this blog towards writing, horror, and my career. But as many of you know, occasionally things build up and at some point I need to vent. This is one of those posts. So strap in for another PSA bordering on a rant.

And this time we’re talking about: do people think the theater is their living room?

I go to the theater a lot. Not just the movie theater, but ballets and touring Broadway shows, too. And it just amazes me how few people know how to behave in such a setting! They seem to think that because they paid money to see this, they can act like they’re at home and use their voice at full volume or check their phone.

Yesterday, my mom and I went to go see Back to the Future‘s musical adaptation while it was here in Columbus (yes, there’s a musical adaptation of Back to the Future, and we enjoyed it). And the woman sitting next to me kept having conversations with whom I assume to be her adult daughter during the show. About the actors, their thoughts at the moment, about whatever. And they would do it at a volume you would reserve for your own home.

They would stop talking for a little while and I would be able to calm down enough, but I very nearly did snap and ask them to stop talking. The only reason I didn’t was because we were near the end of the show when I reached my breaking point, so I didn’t see the benefit of doing so.

No talking during the show, please! This isn’t your living room, after all! Photo by Rainaly Gonzalez on Pexels.com

Sadly, this hasn’t been a one-time thing. When I’ve gone to the theater, I’ve been seated near people who seem to think a conversation during the movie or performance in a normal tone of voice was perfectly fine. You know, instead of not talking and, if you have to talk, only doing it in a whisper, which you’re supposed to do!

Add in the people who get out their phones to text or check Instagram during a show, or who bring their small children to the show and are totally surprised when the kids can’t handle it (and I’ve written about that before, you can check here if you want to read that post), and you can see why I need to post about this!

In fact, I have posted about this! Last night, I posted about this on my social media, and the month before I posted about bringing small children to shows they’re not prepared for.* Both posts have blown up, and many people have replied talking about their own experiences with theatergoers who had no idea on how to behave in the theater. And some of these experiences have even gone viral: just recently, a man lost his temper at a bunch of women in front of him who were singing along during a performance of Mamma Mia, which lead to the women getting kicked out (you can see a news report about it here).

And who could forget Lauren Boebert getting kicked out of Beetlejuice because she was vaping and getting handsy with her boyfriend during the show? (Honestly, how did that woman become a congresswoman? She’s seven years older than me, but acts like a drunk 17-year-old on the best of days!)

So what’s causing this? I don’t know. It could be any number of things, or it could be that people just never were taught theater etiquette. Whatever the reason, here’s a quick reminder of theater rules for those who need it:

  • When the lights go down, kindly shut up. It’s that simple. Remember, everyone here paid a lot for these tickets, just like you did. And everybody paid to watch and listen to the actors, not to you. So, when the theater’s dark, if you have to talk, do it sparingly and in a whisper, if at all. Otherwise, reserve your voice for the appropriate moments of cheering and laughing.
  • Put your phones on silent or vibrate, and only check them during intermission. Yes, we see you checking your texts and Instagram. Yes, your screen is distracting. And yes, it is going to happen to you if you leave your ringer on, so better just be safe than sorry. Also, save the photographs and the videography for the bows or for special moments when it’s allowed. Seriously, the companies don’t put out that message for their health. Flashes are distracting, and recordings actually cut into show profits.
  • Know your kid before taking them. I know we all want our kids to have special experiences, but making sure they can handle the theater is important. Just because they can handle a half hour TV show or a movie at home doesn’t mean they’re ready for the movie theater. And just because they can handle a movie theater doesn’t mean they’re ready for live performance. Even if you think they are, talk to them about theater etiquette before taking them, and take them out of the theater if they can’t handle it. Especially if the show you want to take them to doesn’t have special performances for school groups or families that are designed with antsy kids in mind (yes, those exist. See if anyone local to you does them).
    And if your kid isn’t ready, hire a babysitter! Trust me, with the price you’re paying for some of these shows, you can afford it. And if you can’t stand to be separated from your child, then don’t go! Parenthood is about sacrifice. Perhaps a night out at the theater will have to be a sacrifice.
  • Finally, do some research before you go! Movies have ratings, and theaters and plays often have age recommendations and content warnings on their websites. But it seems some people still pay for tickets and are surprised when they come and find out the show is a bit spicier than they thought. This is especially true with live theater: people seem to think that Broadway hasn’t evolved since Sound of Music, and are shocked when they get to the theater and find it full of swearing and sex jokes (Book of Mormon, Beetlejuice), lots of suggestive content (Moulin Rouge), and/or serial murder (Sweeney Todd). And just imagine how awkward it is for the parents who bring their kids to these shows!
    So please, do your research before you go! Make sure the show is right for you and yours before purchasing tickets. Otherwise, you’ll take your eight year old to Heathers the Musical and you’ll both be traumatized by the bullying, murders disguised as suicides, and characters attempting suicide!
Just because a show doesn’t come with a rating doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for all ages.

And if someone nearby won’t behave, grab an usher. That’s what they’re there for! They can speak to the offenders and, if nothing gets fixed, have security escort them out. It’s that simple.

Look, I know there are a lot bigger problems I could be ranting about. Believe me, I pay attention to the news. But I go to movies and the theater for the experience and for self-care purposes. And it’s very hard to enjoy myself and heal when I have to deal with other people who can’t practice common courtesy for others. So please, the next time you’re at the movies or a live performance, think about all the other people in the audience with you. If you do, you may find that you can still have fun at the theater without disturbing other patrons.

Thank you.

*I went to see SIX the Musical last month, and someone brought their four year old to the show. The kid started screaming bloody murder about two-thirds of the way through and had to be taken out. Saw that kid before and after the show, and I could tell there was no way they were ready for the theater. Though what their parents were thinking, bringing their kid to a show which includes dick jokes and a song about how one of Henry VIII’s wives was groomed and raped her whole life, I have no idea.

This is what I look like when I’m editing.

So, we’re five days into the new year, and it already feels like it’s been super long and way harsher than it has any right to be. But that’s beside the point. What is the point is that we’re already five days into the new year, and I’m already hard at work on achieving my goals. And one of those goals is to get as many stories published this year as possible.

With that in mind, I’ve been continuing with the Second Great Editing, which has been going on for so long, I don’t even remember when it started. Only at this point, most of the stories have been looked over by or are with beta and alpha readers. Even the one I’m working on now, a novella about killer fairies, will be sent off to a beta reader once I’m finished with its third draft. And after that, it’s just a matter of incorporating beta reader feedback into the stories and either sending them out or keeping them on hand for future collections.

And so far, this plan has been going great. I’ve already sent off two stories. I’ve got one article waiting for the submission period of a certain magazine to open before I send it off. I have a beta reader who agreed to read the killer fairies story once I’m done with that, and three stories with reader notes to edit after that. Plus, I should be hearing back from another reader with their notes on a story for an anthology call in the next ten days or so.

But, you know, this is life we’re living in. And as they say, “man plans and God laughs.” That phrase applies to me, even if I’m only human in my outer form. And God, or whatever rules this universe, doesn’t just laugh; He/She/They throw curveballs that throw your whole life into chaos. Often the curveballs are somewhat ironic in nature.

Anyway, the point is, this is the plan for now. But who knows what’ll happen in the next several weeks? Two of the stories I wrote in 2025 were written last minute, upsetting all my plans, because there was a call and I HAD TO PARTICIPATE. Even if I only have an infinitesimal chance of getting into one of them, I had to participate. One of those stories is already submitted, and the other is the one that should be returned to me by the reader soon.

Who’s to say that another one of those calls won’t pop up and I’ll feel the overwhelming need to participate?

You never know when one of these are going to come and rock your life.

Or maybe I’ll get some piece of news, good or bad, but it’s so big, it makes me juggle my priorities. Maybe writing related, or work related, or homeowner related. Who knows? Only the force or entity running the universe. And as cosmic horror often points out, sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

But for now, this is what I’m working on. And I’m looking forward to seeing how many of the stories I’m editing I’ll be able to get published this year.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I just wanted to give you guys an update on what I’m doing lately before things get too crazy. I hope soon I’ll be able to share with you some good news. Until then, my Followers of Fear, good night and pleasant nightmares.

Writing is a lonely occupation at times. If any of you write, you know this. We lock ourselves up in our rooms or offices and spend hours with our imaginations. Sometimes, we go hours or even days without direct interaction with another person. In fact, the loneliness can get so bad, there was a whole panel about it at StokerCon earlier this year. I believe one of the panelists on that panel started an online meetup group so members of the community can get regular interaction.

And that’s the thing: while writing is a lonely endeavor, there can be a lot of people around you who make writing a little less lonely. Not only that, but the help they can provide in your career can make all the difference!

As you might know, I’m working on a lot of projects right now. This includes an essay or paper on the intersection of ballet and horror (come on, you know my interests!). And I was hoping to submit it to a particular publication once I’d edited it. Unfortunately, after taking another look at the guidelines, I realized that I would have to cut about thirty-five hundred words to submit it there. Needless to say, that wasn’t happening.

Instead, I posted to my social media about the situation. And within an hour, I had responses from some of my writing friends for potential venues. One of them, I’ll try submitting to in spring (and I may only need to cut 500 words. Much more doable).

And as many of you remember, a writing friend of mine, Matt Mason, passed away a little over a month ago. Matt created a whole community online, Horror Writers Chat, and the following Wednesday, during our weekly meet up, we all got together and dedicated the meetup to his memory. Afterwards, one of the members, who owns his own press, announced he was doing a charity anthology in Matt’s memory, with the deadline to submit a story to it at 11:59 PM on New Year’s Eve (AKA tomorrow).

Naturally, I wanted to submit something. So, I wrote up something, and a fellow member of Horror Writers Chat was kind enough to read it and provide feedback. She got back to me within a day, and I sent in the story after going over it one more time and considering her feedback. She sent me a copy of her submission, and I’m going to read it ASAP. (Don’t worry, she’s already submitted her piece; I’m just going to read it.)

Having this community is so wonderful. Photo by Dio Hasbi Saniskoro on Pexels.com

Working with my fellow Horror Writers Chat participants for this anthology for Matt was kind of healing. But more than that, just meeting every Wednesday online and participating in Horror Writers Chat can be so healing. Even with Matt gone, it’s still going on. We’re still discussing horror and writing, and we’re still cheering each other on. It’s a warm feeling, and even though I’ve never met any of these people in person, I don’t feel alone when I’m with them.

If I don’t make it into the anthology, I won’t be sad (though I do hope I get in). Because I know these people are going to be there one way or the other, and that we’ll continue to discuss writing and horror far into the future.

And there are just so many other instances I want to mention, quite a few of them from this month! And it’s been wonderful. Because when it’s been tough to get the words out, or work’s been driving me crazy, or I just feel like I’m not making the progress I should be, everyone’s here. My fellow writers (some of whom are Followers of Fear as well). Helping me. Supporting me. Like a thousand hands, giving me hugs while carrying me forward.

And as we move forward into 2026 (and who knows what hell that comes with it), I’m going to need these hugs and hands carrying me forward. Pushing back against the loneliness of writing and helping me reach for my goals.

Happy New Year, everyone.

So, if you’re a Follower of Fear, a fellow writer, or both, thank you. You guys make working through my struggles, the dark grey winter, and everything else that much easier. And I hope I never forget the gratitude I feel for you all.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I’m heading to bed and tomorrow I’m going to enjoy New Year’s. I’ll see you all in 2026. Until then, good night and pleasant nightmares.

My menorah tonight on the eighth night of Hanukkah. The holiday for celebrating miracles and fighting against erasure.

As I’m writing this, it’s the eighth and final night of Hanukkah. And this Hanukkah has been different from all other Hanukkahs before.

If you weren’t aware, on Sunday, December 14, a menorah lighting ceremony was held at Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia, only to be interrupted by two gunmen, a father and son. They killed eighteen people before the father was taken down by a nearby bystander and then shot by police. The father is now dead, and the son is now in critical condition and under arrest.

I first found out when I woke up that Sunday morning. I turned on my phone, and there was a message in the family group chat from my dad. He and my stepmom have been in Australia since before Hanukkah, and they were just in Sydney a couple of days before. They assured us they were fine, and that they were in a different part of the country when it happened. I went and looked up what happened. My first reaction was horror, followed by relief that my dad and stepmom were okay, and then more horror.

I spent the rest of the day in something of a slump.

Within a day, however, my feelings had changed. I was angry, but also, I was defiant. Because I remembered something important about the holiday of Hanukkah: why we celebrate it in the first place.

For those unaware, the events that inspired Hanukkah occurred about one or two centuries before Jesus walked the Earth. The land of Judea was ruled over by Seleucid Empire, and the Seleucid ruler suddenly decided the Jews had to leave their religion and worship the Greek gods. Instead of complying, the Jews started a guerilla rebellion so that their religion and way of life wouldn’t be erased.

A war against erasure.

The Triumph of Judas Maccabeus by Peter Paul Rubens

The attack on August 14th was an act of erasure. The attackers were terrorists seeking to cow Jews and drive us into hiding, or make us too afraid to practice our religion. And while the only thing that’s been confirmed about their motives is that they pledged allegiance to the Islamic State, there’s a strong possibility they were also motivated by antisemitism masquerading as anti-Zionism. Just like the Seleucid Empire years ago, they were trying to destroy who we are by destroying lives and shedding blood.

They won’t succeed. Over the past week, I’ve heard from many Jews who won’t let themselves to be erased. I’ve seen posts about celebrating Hanukkah, Jewish identity, and explaining what Zionism is go viral online, including a few of mine.* I’ve read of world leaders and normal people issuing their condolences and support for the Jewish people and even the State of Israel (though they still criticize Netanyahu’s government, which I totally agree with). I’ve heard from so many non-Jewish friends who have checked in on me and let me know they’re thinking of me.

And I’ve felt a renewed pride in Jewish identity and culture. Not just from myself, but from others. Like this incident, as horrible as it is, has galvanized us. Made us think, “No, we don’t care how loud the anti-Semites and those who want Israel destroyed are! We will continue to exist! We will be Jewish! And if people want to destroy us or the country that was created for us, they can try. We’ll fight back.”

It’s the last night of Hanukkah. Tomorrow at sunset, the holiday will end. But the holiday which started with such tragedy is ending with Jews embracing who they are and shouting it loudly to the world. And we will go forward not being afraid. We will stay vigilant and we will still keep security at our institutions, but we will not be afraid.

We are Jewish. We are proud. And we are not going away. Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Like the Maccabees who fought against the Seleucid Empire, we will fight to keep from being erased. And next year, we will light the menorah with renewed pride, love, and determination. Maybe even on Bondi Beach, just to show how not scared we are. And if anyone tries to stop us?

Well, screw them. We fought a war to keep from being erased once. And while I doubt we’ll need to fight another one, we’re more than willing to fight if we need too. Have no doubt about that!

*I may talk about what Zionism is in a future post, but to put the philosophy simply, it’s the belief that the Jews should have a nation of their own where they can exist, defend themselves, and determine their own fate. Preferably, that land should be in the Holy Land of Israel, also called Zion, where the Jews have had a continuing presence since centuries before Jesus existed, and continue to have a presence today.

It’s not a genocidal neo-Nazi death cult, which makes absolutely no sense (Nazis hate Jews!). That’s all, and I’m not taking and questions or criticism at this time, thank you very much. Like I said, that might be another post.

Well, here we are again, my Followers of Fear. 2025 is nearing its inevitable death, so I’m doing my annual review post. And can I just say, good fucking riddance? This year was fucking rough! How rough, you ask? Well, I would say the amount of swearing I do on a daily basis, as well as much I swear above a whisper or in mixed company, has risen by at least 100%. That rough!

I’m not even going to go into the negative current events of the last year, like I usually do. Because let’s face it, it’s been pretty awful.

And my personal life has had its fair share of troubles. Back in spring, some idiot hit their car with mine, totaling it. Even after their insurance company accepted fault and paid off the value of the car, I still had to pay off the rest of the loan and shell out for a rental! Add in buying a new car, plus the money I lost from the botched trip to Israel, and my finances took a hit I’m still recovering from.

Work was also really stressful. At my company, we were told to go back into the office five days a week, and like the return to three days in office in 2024, it caused my office’s workload to stay three times higher than previous years. Even now, when the workload has gone down again, we’re still dealing with a lot of people angry they can’t work from home (among other things).

Add in a few other things, and it’s no wonder I can’t wait to kick 2025 goodbye. At least it’s keeping my therapist employed.

But you know, 2025 wasn’t all bad. On the current events side, a peace deal was finally struck in Israel, and while there’s still a lot of work to be done, it’s still progress. Plus, here in the US, there has been a tide to fight back against the wave of fascism and authoritarianism that’s sweeping the country. There have been protests and victories in court and even election wins! Again, a lot of work that has to be done, but it’s still progress. Plus, around the world, there were all sorts of victories for democracy, LGBT rights, diversity, and more.

On a personal note, I had my good moments. In my writing career, I got to pitch The Shape of Evil to agents and publishers (and I’m still working towards getting that published, but progress has been made); I broke my personal record for most books sold at an event twice; I published one new book and a few articles, and re-released Hannah and a short story; I wrote and edited a bunch of stories I have high hopes for; and financially, this was my best year since I started keeping track.

Me and my fellow Ohio horror writers at StokerCon this year. Yeah, StokerCon was a definite highlight this year. And not just because of the successful pitch session.

Closer to home, my health has been doing well and work has gotten easier in some respects. I’ve had some wonderful experiences and met some great people. I’m working out more, seeing new places, and hanging out with people I like. I’ve been consistently studying my Hebrew, so whenever I do get to go back to Israel, I should be able to survive. Maybe 2025 wasn’t all bad.

Still glad to see the year change, though.

Now, as for 2026…well, I’m not getting my hopes up too high. Tarot card readings and hopes aside, it’s likely to be another rough year. Still, I’m going to aim for the sky. I’m going to try to get as many stories as possible written, edited, and published, and while I’ll scale back the number of events I’ll attend, I’ll still try to have a great time and get books to good homes. I don’t know if I’ll finally get to the point where I can write full time, but I’ll certainly get closer.

And in my personal life, I’ll hopefully be able to continue to improve health-wise and get my financials to recover. And who knows? Maybe work will finally calm down. Maybe the world stage will be kinder and a lot of what’s plaguing humanity and the Earth will be solved. Maybe we’ll get rid of those tariffs? Any or all of those would be nice.

I guess we’ll just have to take it one day at a time. And with a bit of bravery and a bit of luck, maybe 2026 will be a better year than 2025 ever was.

How was your 2025? Any hopes or plans for 2026? Let’s discuss.


One more thing, my Followers of Fear: we’re still in the holiday season. And if you’re looking for some Christmas horror to read, check out “The Wild Hunt,” one of the stories I re-released this year. Two sisters run away on Christmas Eve and encounter something within a blizzard. It’s a supernatural tale that you can read in one sitting and is perfect for the season. I’ll leave links below.

And if you’re looking for some horror for yourself, or a gift for a loved one, or you just want to support me, know that I have plenty of stories available. From plant/human hybrids and strange gods to Mafia-hunting serial killers and flesh-eating horses, I’ve got something for every horror fan (including some free stuff). I’ll leave a link to my books page below.

And if you like what you read, please leave a review online. Positive or negative, I love reader feedback, and it helps me and other readers out in the long run.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. Here’s hoping what’s left of 2025 is easy on us. And until next time, good night and pleasant nightmares.