Well, I got out of the workshop in one piece. And I’ve been given a lot of feedback on how to improve the story. I have a feeling that since the class is more literary focused, the suggestions will ultimately move the story in a more literary direction.

Oh well, I’m getting what I asked for, and there’s enough fantastical elements to this story to make it genre enough for me.

The story is called “Addict”, and it’s about a guy trying to get over his sex addiction. I wrote it in second person (“you walk into a bar, you see the man flirting with your girl, you snap”) because this story was inspired by the experiences of a friend of mine who battled sex addiction. Not everyone was thrilled with the second person thing, but I’m planning on keeping that. I may add a second character with a third-person perspective though.

I may also do some expanding of the plot to include some other elements, such as more weird hallucinations and a reason why the character tries to get off the sex and porn. This is going into my upcoming collection, The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones, so my classmates won’t know how this story evolved until the collection comes out. I hope they like it, but even if they don’t they’ll get a mention in the acknowledgements section.

I want to get to editing, but first I’ll head home, shower, and then relax a little before I do. Have a good night and wish me luck.

Tonight my creative writing class will be workshopping my short story “Addict”, one of the short stories going into my upcoming collection The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones. I’m looking forward to it,  because I want these stories to be of the highest quality possible before I publish them. I also like feedback from neutral parties such as my classmates, because they point out stuff we don’t even see. That’s one flaw we writers have: we’re so proud of 0ur work, we don’t always see the flaws in it that others might see and point out.

Well, whatever the outcome is, I’ll let you guys know how it goes. There’s nothing on TV tonight that I’m interested in, so after class I plan to go on an editing binge. If any of the other short stories I’ve sent for critiquing get sent back to me, it’ll be all the better.

So watch out for my post tonight. Until then, have a nice day.

I’d say so far, yes.

So far, I’ve gotten 240 Facebook friends, 22 likes on the Facebook page for The Quiet Game (http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheQuietGameFiveTalesToChillYourBones), and 13 followers on Twitter. Plus 149 followers through WordPress, plus numerous others who register through whatever they use to tage blogs or whatever the term is. I don’t know how many will actually download a copy of The Quiet Game, or any of my other works that might get published. But I think I have a good chance. I have so much support from so mnay people, I can’t help but be confident.

So thanks to you all. You are the source of my confidence, of my optimism. And I know, with your continued support, I’ll get somewhere in the writing industry, especially the self-publishing industry.

The shooting at Sandy Hook that took 20 children and six adults was a tragedy that should never have happened. But thankfully, it seems that something good may be coming out of the tragedy: today, New York leaders passed the first new gun control laws since the tragedy in early December. The bill was signed by Governor Andrew Cuomo, a Republican who has embraced gun control and made it a central part of his agenda, saying “At what point do we say, ‘No more loss of innocent life’?”

Frankly I agree, so I’m glad that the new law comes with so many provisions meant to protect our citizens (not take away guns as 2nd Amendment fundamentalists believe). In addition to an assault weapons ban that prohibits the further sales of any guns with one military feature and the registration of those already in private ownership, the law requires immediate background checks, bars assault weapon sales over the Internet, and, because of the shooting of firefighters in Webster last month, lengthens the sentence of those convicted of shooting first responders.

Plus, the number of rounds in a magazine has been decreased from 10 to 7, put tougher restrictions on the sales of ammunitions and guns and, in what I see as a very good move, requires therapists to notify authorities if they feel a patient made a credible threat to use a gun illegally would be required by law to report it to the authorities.

That last part I see as the basis for a new episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

As other states are considering bills with new gun control measures, I hope they follow New York in example. I’m talking to you, Ohio Governor Jon Kasich. Seriously, you signed a bill that allows firearms in the garage of the statehouse. Do you want to play a video game or reenact a movie scene in the statehouse garage with actual guns? Are you insane?

However, not everyone seems to be thrilled with the new spirit of gun control. Representative Steve Stockman, a Republican from Texas whose last term of office was in the 1990s, says that he’s willing to go as far as filing articles of impeachment if President Obama threatens his Second Amendment rights with new gun control legislation. Hate to break it to you, Mr. Representative, but the last time you were in term, there was an assault weapons ban, and the world did not end and the 2nd Amendment did not die during the ten years it existed. If anything, it came out stronger after the law expired.

Oh well. Here’s to a safer country and less lunatics running around trying to kill us or arm us all.

Posted: January 15, 2013 in Uncategorized

A friend of mine interviewed me for my upcoming collection, “The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones”. I hope you check out the interview, and also check out my friend, Pat Bertram, who is a published novelist herself.

Pat Bertram's avatarPat Bertram Introduces . . .

cimg1481Hi, Rami. Good to talk to you! What is your book called?

It’s “The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones”, and it’ll be available later this year as an e-book.

Have you always wanted to be a writer?

At least since I first read “Harry Potter”, though I didn’t realize it till I was around ten or so. At that age you want to be a scientist, a superhero, a firefighter, President. But at ten I realized I wanted to write, and I’ve been writing since.

What writer influenced you the most?

I’d have to say Anne Rice, Stephen King, and James Patterson. I discovered the first two when I was in junior high and high school, and they blew my mind. I knew after reading them, horror was what I wanted to focus on. I discovered James Patterson shortly before graduating high school, and I think he…

View original post 582 more words

I’ve written once or twice about having an idea for a story or wanting to write a story with a certain sort of theme/creature/character/whatever in it. Usually those sorts of stories are short stories. However recently I came up with an idea for a novel, and although I had enough for a blurb on the back cover, which is usually what I put down on my Ideas list on my flash drive, I felt it was lacking somehow. I wanted more, because I had a feeling this was the sort of novel (or perhaps series–who knows?) where I might play around with it in my head for years before I got around to writing it.

However, nothing came to me. I knew I wanted one more element, something that wouldn’t be on a blurb but would be central to the story in my head as I played around with it. It was annoying as heck, not being able to come up with something. Romantic rival? Too YA for my tastes. Romantic problems anyway? That’s definitely going to be a part of the plot, but it won’t be the main focus! Some special history to the main character’s special powers? I need something to drive the plot, not enhance it; I didn’t come up with the powers for the main characters of Reborn City till after I knew what sort of story I was writing, so I need to hold off till I have something to work with. Politics? Maybe, but it can’t drive the tale. Family troubles?

Finally, while I was getting ready to take a shower and get to bed, something came to me. Just like that. And I knew how it would connect to the full story and drive the plot and ultimately make it fun for me to work with. I felt such a hit of relief, I very nearly started to sing. Good thing I didn’t sing though; the windows might’ve broke on me! In Columbus in January, you don’t want broken windows.

Now, you know I’m not going to tell you what the story’s about or what I added into it (I’ve told a few people, but I know they’re not going to brag about it or reveal anything they shouldn’t). I will say that I take a classic fairy tale by a Danish author (start Googling…now!) and that I give it the usual Rami Ungar treatment…which means it’ll be distorted and made creepy and possibly a little gory and/or sexual. Hey, I am what I am.

I’ll also tell you that it’s not uncommon for me to come up with an idea for a novel and let it rattle around in my head for a year or more. That’s what happened with Reborn City and what happened with Snake. But when I look at how they turned out, I know that was the right decision; my friend who’s helping me edit RC says he thinks it’s very interesting, and usually his critiques are limited to grammar or extraneous words in the writing, which I can only take as a good thing. As for Snake, I think that’s some of the best writing I’ve ever done, and I’ve only done the first draft!

So this works for me. Maybe by the time I sit down to write this story that I’ve been devoting this post to, it’ll be something so spectacular that maybe I’ll ruin–or enhance–high school and college literature courses with it.

I can dream, can’t I?

In the meantime, stick with me and let’s see how I do in the writing world. I’ve got a lot of ideas, and I’m looking for the right oppurtunities to put each and every one out. I hope you all will be with me as I write them, because your support is what helps me get the words out on paper and eventually, to you.

At Ohio State, we have an annual charity drive called Buckeyethon. Those who volunteer collect money for research at Nationwide Children’s Hospital here in Columbus and after collecting $100, get to participate in a 12-hour dance marathon. My family can attest, I love to dance, and I also love supporting charities when I can. Today I collected my last donation for Buckeyethon, and I wanted to thank the people who made that possible in a uniquely Rami Ungar way. So thank you to all my sponsors:

Wendy Ungar and Wendy Mohr, also known as Ima and Wendy. You guys are wonderful teachers and you’ve raised me well. Plenty of blessings upon you and the cats.

Rabbi Michael Ungar, also known as Abba. You took time out of your busy schedule to donate online when I couldn’t figure out how to use the online portal. Plenty of Shabbos naps for you, which I know you’ll appreciate.

And Sudip Roy and Ankit Gupta, the two who taught me how to do Sahaja meditation. Jai Shri Mataji, and I thank you so much for all your support and teaching.

Thanks to these four, I managed to get well over my needed amount. I can’t wait to turn in the donations tomorrow. So thanks everyone, and now I can’t wait for Buckeyethon’s dance marathon! I know you’ll be partying with me in spirit.

Normally I wait a week before doing another review, but I think this time I’ll make an exception.

I decided to read The Hunger Games books for a number of reasons. One, because m sister was upset at how many things got changed between book and movie (the movie I saw first) and I wanted to know if it was really something to be upset over (I decided it wasn’t, but actually very clever). Another was that the second film is coming out later this yea and I wanted to be prepared for what I’d find, maybe be as upset as my sister (though that usually doesn’t happen). But finally, I decided to read the books because Ohio State’s having this mock-Hunger Games thing called the OSU Honor Games, a nonviolent contest based on Suzanne Collins’s twisted imagination, and I want to be a tribute for my dorm (go Jones Tower!).

So I read the books. And without going into what I thought of each separate book, I’ll give you my thoughts:

First off, I don’t read a lot of YA, so I don’t necessarily know the conventions that are associated with it. Still, I thought certain moments in the story, Collins relied too much on telling rather than showing. For instance, at the end of Books 2 and 3, Collins ties up events in only a short few paragraphs. At the end of Book 2 I was like, “There’s a rebellion in progress and Katniss was apart of it without knowing it, and yet you expect to tell me that in four little paragraphs and that I’d be satisfied with that? Puh-leaze!” And at the end of Book 3, after Katniss (spoiler alert!) kills Coin while Snow expires from being a sick, bloody old man, I tought Collins was rushing a bit to finish up the story, to have everything resolve itself without doing too much writing or exposition or lengthy conversation. Too much telling, and maybe a little lazy.

Not only was that a problem for me, but at certain points Collins puts us into dramatic moments without putting on the drama. When Katniss and her crew go into the Capital in Book 3 to take down Snow, it seems Collins is deliberately under-dramatizing it, making the mission seem as drawl as possible. I would’ve cued in on Katniss’s feelings as she stepped into the Capital with a gun and bow and arrows, looking around the snow-swept streets and the rising excitement and tension as she awaits her chance to kill Snow.

But Collins decides to just put us smack in the middle of the Capitol, and things only get dramatic when she actually feels like telling us in detail what’s happening instead of summarizing it for us.

And finally, the ending for Book 3 left me stunned. I mean really, Katniss kills Coin just like that? A little out of left field, if you ask me. Where’s the dramatic build-up, the chance to let the world know what Coin did, to refute it so that the world will see how cruel war can make us and make it stick that we shouldn’t fight like monsters? Nope, just kills the old hag after agreeing the Capitol children should participate in a Hunger Games. And speaking of which, did that ever happen? Or after President Coin’s death, did they just decide not to let the Capitol kids not die?

Whatever.

I thought the first book fantastic, but Books 2 and 3 were not as good. Sure, Collins made an effort to make Book 2 more than just a bridge between Books 1 and 3, but at times it dragged, and I thought it took too long to get to the Quarter Quell. And Book 3 alternated between me being interested and me being annoyed and bored.

Plus the resolution of the whole Peeta-Gale thing…Oy Gevalt! I feel like there were so much more to those characters. They were both capable of being great political and military leaders, especially Peeta. But all we really see is their obsessions with Katniss and perhaps a darker side of Peeta after he’s been hijacked. And then the way Katniss finally picks her man…was that Collins’s way of saying, “Oh yeah, this is who she finally picks and how it happens.” I definitely wouldn’t have written it that way, and I think I would’ve gone into Katniss actually weighing her feelings and what each boy represents to her. You know, make it seem like they’re both dreamy and she just can’t choose?

And by the way, what do those guys do at the end of the book? Does Peeta become mayor of District Twelve? Does Gale find a new girl while leading reconstruction efforts in other districts? A little explanation please! God, now I know why the movie went into further detail of the behind-the-scenes stuff: it was needed to make up for what was left out of the novel.

So finally, how about my ranking? For The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay, I give the whole trilogy a 2.6 out of 5. Great premise, great story overall, but there was room for improvement, if you ask me.

Review: Zero Dark Thirty

Posted: January 12, 2013 in Review
Tags: , ,

A most excellent film, on the greatest manhunt in history.

(The following review contains spoiler alerts)

This movie is like Valkyrie in that we all know how it’s going to end, with the death of Osama bin Laden. But even so, you still feel a chill not borne from the winter air as you watch it, wondering what’s going to happen, how it’s going to happen, and what will happen when it does.

Zero Dark Thirty, which manages to compact the decade-long hunt for the notorious leader of al-Qaeda into two-and-a-half hours, follows Maya, the determined to a fault CIA agent played by Jessica Chastain (who looks like my RA with the same first name). Maya is relentless, and willing to go to all sorts of lengths to find bin Laden. Throughout the movie, we see her start from a naive junior agent unnerved by the torture of a captured terrorist, to a capable interrogator and strategist, to a woman who, as her boss says, knows better than to mess with her when it comes to getting bin Laden. Besides that, we know nothing else about Maya, but we don’t need to; that’s not the point of this story.

The movie is dark, brilliantly told, and has none of the emotional stuff we usually associate with movies revolving around the CIA. Don’t expect Maya to strip down and have sex with an agent she finds very attractive; “I’m not that kind of girl”, she tells a friend right before a bomb blast in a restaurant. Also notice that there isn’t a lot of music, but the music that is there is awe-inspiring, and sometimes it’ll remind you of The Dark Knight trilogy.

The final scenes are the most amazing, as we follow the troops who go in and shoot bin Laden. The only problem with these scenes is that despite helicopters in suburban Aboottabbad and several blasts from explosives, there are only spectators after twenty minutes. What took so long? Still, the final death of Osama is quiet and not laid with any melodrama or huge emotion. Instead, he is killed, we see them hightailing it out of the compound (an excellent reproduction of the actual one, by the way), and then Maya confirming that Osama is dead, and the mission of the last ten years is over.

For all of the above, I give Zero Dark Thirty a 5 out of 5. Hats off to director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal for some excellent handiwork.

If the me of a year ago knew what I was doing these days, he may have a heart attack. Or possibly slap his future self. Or some combination of that.

Yes I, Rami Ungar, resistant to new technology and social media crazes, have gotten a Twitter. Why? For the same reason I got a Facebook: to spread my writing to those who may not be on this blog but may be on other social media websites. This twitter account of mine, @RamiUngartheWriter, will focus exclusively on my writing. Already I’ve published a couple of tweets advertising my upcoming collection The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones. I’m very excited and I hope I gain a followship soon. You’re welcome to follow me if you like. Just know this: I’ve got a scary picture as my profile pic and it may cause some nightmares.

And no, it’s not of my face. Much scarier than that.

Also, I don’t know if any of my blog followers got a notification (do they send notifications for pages?), but I set up a new page that lists my upcoming books. Which means of course at this point only The Quiet Game is on that list, without even a picture, but I plan to rectify that soon. Check it out if you like, and have a great weekend.