Posts Tagged ‘Nyarlathotep’

2020 has gotten off to a rocky start, to put it mildly. Threat of war with Iran, fires in Australia, and now the coronavirus, or COVID-19, has gone from an abstract threat we nervously made jokes about to a terrifying pandemic. It’s caused a lot of anxiety and terrified reactions, with people rushing to the store to grab supplies, turning to every supposed cure or preventive measure out there, and being afraid to go outside their homes.

And I know, the last thing you want to see is me talking about the virus. But you have to understand: I’m doing this for me. As many of you know, I have an anxiety disorder. And as much as I keep an upbeat attitude, wonder what everyone needs that much toilet paper for, and what we’re going to get for April (I’m hoping Cthulhu rises up from the Pacific), I have been feeling anxious over this virus. So anxious, in fact, that last night, instead of editing a short story like I’d meant to, I ended up binge-watching an entire series of anime till two in the morning. Escapism!

So what’s a guy to do? Well, in my case, I have to exorcise myself. Not literally, that’s a Friday night thing. No, I need to get my feelings out on COVID-19. Because I conquer what scares me, and in this case, this is how I do it.

Strap in, kids. This might be a long one.

My thoughts

What are my thoughts on this pandemic? Well, it’s almost Lovecraftian in how it’s inserted itself into our lives. First it’s this abstract and undefinable threat that we can’t imagine touching our lives. We even laugh at it. But pretty quickly, it becomes this thing that could not only affect us, but kill us. And our own species–loved ones, coworkers, the passerby on the street–are how it extends its invisible tentacles into the world.

The only thing to do is isolate ourselves, but that’s scary in and of itself. Even our most curmudgeonly need human contact of some sort. Can we survive without that human contact? And then there’s the economic toll, as people who rely on their jobs find themselves out of work or unable to make ends meet, relying on their dwindling savings to get by. It’ll be worse in more expensive cities to live in.

This pandemic can be likened to a Lovecraftian entity. And it’s just as ugly.

And depending on where you live, your leaders may be doing a great job at fending off the horror, or an inept one.

This may be the closest we get to actually experiencing a Great Old One invading our reality. And God, is it terrifying.

Good thing I have my collection of HP Lovecraft stories, plus four or five cosmic horror films on DVD and Blu-Ray in my collection. They’ll make great therapy. I should also see the movie Contagion again. It practically predicted this entire pandemic, so it’s worth another watch.

Anyway, there is a silver lining (and no, not the silver solution that con artist preacher is selling! That’s more likely to lead to heavy metal poisoning, the prick). Unlike Cthulhu or Nyarlathotep, there is a way to fight against this monster. As hard as it is, social distancing can limit infection and prevent further cases. So does extensive handwashing (no duh!) and other hygiene practices. And to avoid fake cures, keep this in mind: make sure to check with reputable sources like the CDC or National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. And if you don’t trust bureaucrats, remember this rule: if it sounds miraculous or too good to be true, IT PROBABLY IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!! Any fix to a medical problem always required hard work to achieve. Even aspirin took forty years to get from the labs to the pharmacy. Don’t go for the quick “cure” just because it seems Heaven-sent.

This virus is going to change things, and possibly have lasting effects on society. I hope that it teaches people to at least be more considerate of others. Because right now, that’s what we need to do in order to make it out of this pandemic with a minimal death toll.

Speaking of considerate…

Support your authors if possible

As I said, this pandemic is effecting a lot of people’s jobs and livelihoods. This includes authors. They rely on bookstores, conventions and in-person events to sell their books and support themselves. Those places are either closing down or cancelling, which is huge slash in revenue. I’m extremely lucky, even if I don’t write full-time: my job allows me to make a good living and put away savings. Other writers aren’t so lucky. This virus is going to bite into them pretty deeply.

Care about authors? Consider supporting their work during these difficult times, if you’re able.

Now, I’m aware not everyone can do this, and I completely understand and sympathize. However, if you are in a position to help your fellow writers, please do so. Buy copies of their books in your favorite format, tell people about their work in reviews or tweets or whatever. Especially if you enjoy their work. It might be small gestures, but for the writers you’ll be helping, it’ll mean the moon and stars.

And it will give us time to come up with some decent stories involving COVID-19. I’ve already had one or two.

Final thoughts

Thanks for reading this post. I needed to get this off my chest. And I think, once I’ve taken care of myself a bit, I’ll be able to get back to writing and scaring people like I normally do. As for the rest of you, remember that everyone else is in the same boat as you. They’re as scared as you, but they can also be as brave as you. And if you’re a Follower of Fear, you’re likely very brave.

This too shall pass. And we’ll make it pass faster by keeping each other safe.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’m off to set up and test my at-home workstation. Until next time, good night, pleasant nightmares, and REMEMBER, SWALLOWING OR GARGLING BLEACH IS GOING TO KILL YOU! Why would you think it would help you? It’s corrosive!

Last Monday, I announced that my novel, Rose, is getting published by Castrum Press. And amidst all the excitement and a little extra alcohol (because of course I’ve been celebrating), there has been a lot of correspondence between me and the publisher (and how cool is it that I can say that now?). Some of what we’ve talked about is how the publishing process works, what each of us can do in terms of marketing, etc. But one of the big things we’ve talked about in the past week is the fifth draft. And trust me, there’s going to be a fifth draft. Because as nice as the fourth draft was, it’s still got a few problems here and there that can be cleaned up.

I’ll be honest with you guys: as excited as I am about all this, I’m a little terrified. Okay, maybe a lot terrified. Before last Monday, this dream of being an author with a publisher was just that: a dream. And as much as we want our dreams to be accomplished, when they’re still dreams, there’s only so much damage that can be done to them. But once they’re brought into reality, like when a publisher wants to release your book, then there’s all sorts of damage that can be inflicted: negative reviews and/or poor sales, the process to publication can be beset with difficulties, etc. (I don’t think that those things will happen, but my overactive mind tends to consider every horrible possibility out there).

On Friday, my publisher and I agreed to catch up again in mid-May to see how my edits are going. After that, we’ll see where we go for there. And I’m scared that when they see what I’ve done there, they’ll feel I haven’t lived up to their expectations and rescind the publication deal. Again, I’m pretty sure this is more my fear than an actual possibility, but like I said, I have to consider all possibilities. And that one has gotten kind of big in my head.

Of course, me being me, I take what’s scaring me and turn it into a fuel for my confidence, motivation to produce good work, and a means to scare others (I believe psychologists call this sublimation). I even gave myself a pep talk a few minutes ago in front of the mirror, using a scary voice to convince myself how powerful I am and that I can accomplish what I set my mind too. And it worked very well. Weird what I can do when I tell myself that I am the Devil, Azathoth, Nyarlathotep, and Death all rolled into one, and that I can be my generation’s Stephen King while sounding like I’m possessed. Yes, I do that. Don’t judge me.

So I’ll get started on a fifth draft of Rose very soon, finishing up a couple of tasks before I do so. I’ll also be leaving for the library in a little bit to print out some of the editors’ notes. Hopefully I can take enough from those notes to better the manuscript before the deadline in mid-May. Fingers crossed.

As always, I’ll keep you guys informed of any developments that occur. Until next time, my Followers of Fear, pleasant nightmares! (I know it’s not even two in the afternoon yet. But that’s never stopped some people from having nightmares during the day.)