Posts Tagged ‘editing’

It’s been a while since I posted on my books that are in the process of getting written/edited/published/whatever, so I thought I’d write up a quick post to just let you all know about how those projects are going and when we can expect them to be in print. Spoiler: not any time soon.

Video Rage

The long-awaited sequel to Reborn City (especially by my sister and my stepmother). Last I was working on it, I’d made considerable progress on the book and had made it about halfway or so through the manuscript. Of course, senior year started, and I had to switch gears to work on Rose (more on that below). So I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to that, but it’ll probably be when I don’t have classes, a thesis, and a job search to deal with all at once. So hopefully at some point next year. Yes, I know, it’s sad and frustrating. But when you’re working with my busy schedule, what can you do?

Actually, there is plenty you can do: offer me a job that matches my qualifications if you got one. Either that, or come by and do my homework for me. I’ve got an 8-10 page Shakespeare paper due December 9th. Any volunteers? No? Good, that’s cheating and I could get expelled for that.

Laura Horn

I’ve been thinking a lot about this novel lately. For those of you who haven’t seen me post about it before (it’s been a while), Laura Horn is a thriller about a teenage sexual assault victim who comes across information that threatens the United States and finds herself the only one who can stop it. At the same time, she must confront her demons and the man who assaulted her. The thing is, after I finished the first draft, I realized that certain parts of the story required too much suspension of disbelief. There was so much going on, some of it involved a stretch of the imagination to actually imagine happening, and at times I felt like there were glaring errors in the plot that I was missing. And then I found some of them!

All in all, the whole thing is unwieldy. But, I love the characters, especially my protagonist. I love the journey she goes on, and how it makes her go from a scared little girl to…well, she’s stronger. In a better place. And I liked the idea of the story very much.

So I think when the opportunity presents itself, I may try rewriting the story (because apparently a second draft for me is rewriting the whole damn thing, at least lately anyway). I’ve already got an idea for a new storyline that makes a lot more sense, it’ll be a bit shorter than the original version, and I think I’ll still get the story I want without facing those problems of believable storytelling. I just need the time to write it (what else is new?). So don’t expect LH to come out any time soon. I know, I know. It looks like nothing will be coming out soon, and that’s a fair opinion. But you never know. Something may change.

Rose

Last I updated you guys on my novel-that-doubles-as-my-thesis, I had to rewrite the outline again because the direction would’ve made the whole story a little crazy. So I sent the new outline to my advisor, and I was supposed to meet with him Friday. Sadly, the meeting got cancelled, so I’ll be emailing him this coming week to see if he would just send me his thoughts in an email. It might make it a bit easier since carving out a time for three busy people to meet up for even half an hour or more and just talk. If I hear anything, you guys will be among the first to know.

Self-Published Authors Helping Other Authors

Hope to get a new article out some time soon. That’s all I’m saying on this.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ve got a bit of editing to do tonight, so I’m going to get on that. Wish me luck, my Followers of Fear. These days, I need all the luck I can get my hands on.

 

Boy, has this short story been something of a saga for me. For this second draft, not only did I have to go back twice to redo it because I didn’t like where it was going, but I also changed the name of the short story about…six times? I settled with “What Happened Saturday Night” after a while as the new title. So maybe this post should be called “What Happened Saturday Night: Finished”.

Anywho, for those who don’t know, for my creative writing class I have to turn in two original short stories and a revised short story for the class to critique. Having previously done a short story about fallen angels and one about a woman who turns into a wolf, I decided to do a revision of the latter story. And just like the first draft, where I went back several times because the plot was going nowhere fast, I had to go back several times on this one. The first time was because I realized the story’s ending would resemble that of a previous story, and I didn’t want to be repeating myself. The second time I added in a cult element, but then things got really complicated and I decided I didn’t need that.

So for this third round, I decided to simplify things, go in a new direction I hadn’t thought of before, and see what I got. I also turned off the Internet so I wouldn’t get distracted (it worked). And finally, four days before it was due, I finished the new draft of “Frauwolf”, which is now called “What Happened Saturday Night”, and I incorporated a lot of the suggestions I got from my peers. So now it’s done, with a little over five-thousand words. A little wordy should I try to get it published, but I’m sure after my next critique in two weeks I’ll get some great suggestions on how to improve it and maybe trim it down if necessary. It still incorporates the main elements though: a girl who turns into a werewolf, and her relationship with her lover, also a woman. Can’t argue about that.

For now though, I’m tired and I want to go to bed. I’ve got a big week starting tomorrow, including midterms on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I’d rather be well-rested for those.

I’ll try and blog later this week, my Followers of Fear. Until then, a terrifying sleep, and a good week to you all.

Today in my creative writing class it was my turn to get critiqued. And as you may recall, my short story was about a woman who turned into a werewolf. Or as she preferred because of her gender, frauwolf, which became the title of the story.Unlike other stories, I thought this first draft was a piece of crap. And it was, too. But it was the only draft I could finish, so it was the draft I ended up sticking with. And last week I bought sugar cookies to bribe my classmates with, so that when they tore my story into little pieces they would be nice about it.

Well, the bribe didn’t work. Apparently cookies that are about 90% sugar don’t work on college students, because  only half of them got eaten, and mostly by the students with sweet tooths. But they were nice while they tore my story apart, I’ll give them that.

Anyway, the biggest problems with “Frauwolf” seem to be that I throw way too much in and that the readers felt yanked along by all that was happening. Well, that’s not surprising, considering it’s me writing this story. I like to write novels, especially long, expansive novels that may in fact involve into series. So I tried to add a huge amount of stuff into 5,000 words and the result was a story that was rushed along so as to get to everything happening in the story. The result is an overly-complicated and insane story that deviates from what I originally intended (as you read two posts ago, that was the problem I had with Rose).

My classmates also had some trouble with the relationship portrayed in the story. They couldn’t get why my main character’s girlfriend still stuck around with her, among other things. Well, I guess that makes sense. I don’t delve that deep into the foundation of the relationship. For the next draft, I think I will do that thoug.

And speaking of next draft, I’ve got one more story to turn in this semester, and it has to be a revision of a previous story. I’m thinking I’ll work on this one, maybe change the setting and the story line and see what comes of it. Besides, I’m not nearly satisfied with this story as I should be, so I’ll put off editing my other short story, “Evil Began in a Bar”, until another time. Besides, my critique gave me some great ideas of where to go with this story, so I really want to see what I can do with them. I might even write something worth publishing.

I’ll let you know what comes of all this editing, and what my classmates say at my final critique. In the meantime, I’ve got to get dinner ready before my evening class, so that’s all for now. Have a great day, my Followers of Fear.

I would’ve written this yesterday when my last thesis meeting occurred, but I was pressed for time, and then I had homework up the wazoo, and then I got up late today, and then I still had homework, and then…what was I typing about? Oh yeah. Well yesterday I met with my advisor M and fellow thesis-writer P (he’s not working on Rose, of course. He’s got his own thing). I told them some of the changes I wanted to make with the story, and they liked some of my ideas once I’d taken the time to explain them.

But the conversation took a different turn when it came to the latest work I’d sent them. They began asking about all these fantastical elements I’d been adding to the story, wondering where I was going with the story and maybe if I was taking the focus off of Rose and the antagonist. Up until then, despite several offers to show them what I’d planned for the rest of the novel and even show them the outline I’d written, they’d said no. But today, in order to give them more of an idea of where I was going with this story, I gave them the basic idea of where Rose was going.

They had issues with the course of the story, to say the least and told me why.

Basically, the plot of the story would have gone with a powerful Japanese god joining the story and trying to kill Rose. They pointed out that my antagonist would’ve been relegated to barely secondary antagonist and that the story would’ve gotten too complicated for a single book. And I had to admit, they were right. It would’ve gotten pretty complicated, maybe unnecessarily so, if I went down that path.

So I took all that in, realized they had some definite points, and worried that maybe I still have a ton to learn as an author (good thing I’m still pretty early in my career). I’m now going to start a new outline for Rose (the fifth, by the way), and see where I go with it. I’ve got some ideas, so I’m going to brainstorm some more. However, I’m going to try and focus it on those two characters, Rose and the antagonist, and keep the focus on their topsy-turvy life. After I write the new outline, I plan on sending it to my advisor and getting his feedback on it. Hopefully he’ll like what he sees.

So for now, I’m off to read some manga, watch some TV, and see what comes to mind. Hopefully it’ll be something really great that will impress readers. Wish me luck, Followers of Fear.

And remember, there’s a huge sale on Reborn City and a giveaway going on right now. Click here for more details.

Reborn City

One whole year. One whole crazy, kooky, lovely, exciting, frustrating, magical, mystical, marvelous year. Can you believe how much time has passed since then?

Actually, yes I can. I’ve had that sort of crazy life. But yeah, it’s amazing that an entire year has passed since Reborn City was first published. It’s my first novel and I’m especially proud of it. And the reception to it has just been great. I’ve had a lot of people who’ve told me how much they’ve enjoyed reading RC, how they thought it was really original and that they couldn’t wait to read the sequel.*

For those of yo who are unfamiliar with RC, let me tell you about it. Reborn City is the first in a science fiction trilogy I started writing in high school, and that I’ve been working and polishing on and off since then. It follows Zahara Bakur, a Muslim teenager who lives in the titular city, a Las Vegas-like entertainment town in the year 2056. After the death of her parents, Zahara is forced by circumstance to join the Hydras, an interracial street gang whose leaders have special abilities and powers. Zahara finds a new home with the Hydras, despite the constant violence in her neighborhood and the discrimination she faces because of her religion. However, when tragedy strikes, Zahara learns that there are people in the government interested in the Hydras for very specific reasons, and the choices she makes will influence not only her life, but the lives of those she cares about.

Currently, Reborn City holds a 4.7 rating based on seven reviews on Amazon, and people have been mostly very positive with what they’ve had to say. Take a look:

This is an extremely commendable effort by a new young writer, whom I believe we will see much more of in the years ahead. Rami Ungar’s vision of a frightening dystopian future is peppered with those elements that make us all human. There are quite a few surprises in the book, and I am anxious for the next volume in the series to be released.

–Marc M. Neiwirth

This is not a genre I typically delve into, but I took this book on vacation and couldn’t put it down. The plot had me turning pages at quite the clip. The characters were unique and interesting and the imagery had me creating my own visual of what Rami’s interpretation of the future looked like. For first time novelist, Rami Ungar, this was an outstanding showing of talent and commitment to his passion of writing. Looking forward to seeing what he comes up with next!

–Michele Kurland

As a reader who does not read books in this genre, I must admit that I could not put down the book. I attribute this to the talent of the author. I am looking forward to reading the next books published by Ungar. I recommend this book to readers who enjoy action with features of supernatural powers and sci-fi.

–Enjie

And in honor of a full year since Reborn City was published, I’m doing a couple of special things to celebrate. First, I’m doing a two-week sale. All e-books of Reborn City will be only $0.99 and the print paperback will be $6.50, down from their usual prices from $2.99 and $8.99, respectively.

In addition, I’m holding a contest. From November 1st-November 14th, you have the opportunity to win an autographed copy of Reborn City, sent to wherever you may live. This contest is available to all, except to those who are closely related to me or had some hand in the creation of Reborn City. All you have to do is leave a comment below with your name, where you’re from, and a superpower you would like to have. Easier questions than what was asked at the Bridge of Death, right?

If you would like to check out Reborn City, you can buy a print or digital copy from Amazon and Smashwords (the latter only has the e-book version). And if you like (or hate) what you read, please let me know what you think, whether in a comment or in a review. Positive or negative, I love feedback, so please let me know your thoughts on the book.

Good luck to all contest participants and fun reading, my Followers of Fear. And thanks for a wonderful year, everyone. I couldn’t have done it without you.

*Speaking of which, I’m sorry editing and publishing Video Rage is taking so long. I’ve been busy with my thesis and school, so there hasn’t been any time to work on it. But I’m hoping that with a slightly easier next semester in the spring, I might be able to actually put in some time finishing up the second draft of VR. Of course, I’ll deep into the job search at that point, so that could get in the way.

It’s been a while since I updated everyone on my novel-that-also-doubles-as-my senior-thesis Rose, but I have the opportunity to do so now. Especially since I can’t do my job search without updating my resume, and I’m waiting to hear back from a couple of people on whether I can use them as references.

Well, if you’ll remember my post on my first thesis meeting, you know I ended up switching to first person and rewriting some of the early chapters to make them darker. Well, this past Wednesday there was another meeting with my advisor and the other student I’m working with (I keep meaning to ask if I can use their real names, but I keep forgetting. Oh well, I think I’ll stick to M, my advisor, and P, the other student I’m working with). They had a lot of suggestions for me:

  • Probably a hold over from writing Reborn City and Video Rage, but I have a tendency to explain the stranger elements of the story. Works great for science fiction, but terrible for horror. So I’m trying not to explain the stranger aspects and let the story tell it through what happens.
  • There are a few comedy elements that I’m trying to cut out. We’ll see how that goes.
  • There are some things I will need to change for the first couple chapters, but that’ll wait for the second draft.
  • Most importantly, I’ve switched to narrating in present tense.

That last one is a big one for me. In a previous post, I mentioned that I probably shouldn’t narrate in present tense because I’m not very good or familiar with it and because I have the tendency to switch back into past tense. I explained that to M, but he insisted that I at least try it. His reasoning was that since I’ve been narrating the story in past tense with a first person narrator this whole time, it’s pretty much assumed that things will turn out for the best (probably true). Putting the story in first person would probably serve to add a little mystery and uncertainty to the story.

So I thought, might as well give it a shot. I’d switched from third to first person already, and that had brought about a definite improvement, though I have to work harder to make sure that Rose’s constant state of terror doesn’t start to sound boring. On the other hand, I was already comfortable with writing in the first person. One of my early attempts at writing a novel was in the first person, and for a story written in my early-to-mid teens I did a pretty good job. Writing in the present tense was something I’d hardly ever done before.

So I rewrote parts of Chapter Three to start with, the parts that needed some holes to be plugged so that the story could continue to flow.Then I wrote Chapter Four, and over the past twenty-four hours or so I wrote Chapter Five. Both of those chapters and the parts of Chapter Three I rewrote were written in present tense. And it is weird for me. I don’t know many other authors who write that way, so I don’t have an example to refer back to. I’m basically feeling it out as I go.

But I somehow managed to do it. And it’s been a rather dramatic shift, like the DNA of the story has been altered. I keep thinking back to that scene from the first Sam Raimi Spider-Man film, when Peter Parker’s DNA gets rewritten by spider-DNA, causing his whole self to change. It’s that dramatic a shift, like the whole thing has changed in a very important way while still remaining the same basic story. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it before.

Well, I’ll keep writing it in first-person present tense, hopefully gaining a knack for writing stories like this along the way (it could be useful for a future story). I just hope that when we meet again on Halloween, I don’t have to do another major change to the story. Writing this thing’s been hard enough as it is with just a busy schedule. Writing in unfamiliar styles and with so many new rules or ideas to incorporate certainly makes the job a bit tougher.

Well, it’s late, so I’m going to bed. Hopefully I’ll start Chapter Six tomorrow after classes and homework. Wish me luck, my Followers of Fear.

Before I start, I just want to make sure everyone is aware that I’m not actually showing you how to curse someone. I do know how to do that, but I don’t want to share the method lest someone use it on me. That would suck. No, I’m talking about creating a curse for a story, one that would terrify all who read your work.

The thing about curses is that they are relentless and awful. A curse doesn’t discriminate based on how nice you are, how much money you make, what religion you belong to, or any other factor. No, once a curse locks onto you, it’s like you have a target on your back that you can’t get off, and you won’t get that target off until the curse has run its course (usually this means death). That’s what makes them so scary.

So how do you create a curse? First you need to decide on this:

Person, place, and/or thing. A curse is usually associated with a specific object, location, or person, though sometimes a curse can be associated with more than one of these (such as with an entire family, multiple houses, or a person who lived in a house). In the movie The Conjuring and its spinoff/prequel Annabelle (which I just saw recently), a curse was placed on the doll, allowing a demon to possess it and make havoc for anyone who came into contact with the doll. That’s an example of a cursed object. The house in The Grudge is an example of a cursed location, as well as an example of a cursed person (Kayako, the woman who lived in the house, is the one who carries out the curse). Another example of a cursed person is simply someone who has a curse placed upon them, making interaction with others difficult, if not impossible. Boy, would that suck!

This brings me to my next point, though:

The well is essential to Samara’s curse and origin story.

The origin story. Every curse has its story of how it came to be, and often that the basis of how the curse can be warded off (more on that later). Generally this involves some horrific event happening, causing the curse to manifest or be cast. For example, in the Buffy universe Angel’s curse was caused when he killed the beloved child of a tribe of gypsies, who restored his soul to him through magic. Another example is when Samara/Sadako from the Ring movies was trapped in the well and died, her soul was filled with rage and she infected a blank video cassette. And in The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, Freddy’s curse came into being when he was killed in a fire by the parents of the children he’d killed/molested (depending on if you’re going with the original movie series or the remake).

 

The trigger. For a curse to take hold of a target, something specific has to happen. For instance, in the popular Bloody Mary legend (which I’ve tested numerous times, by the way), you have to say Bloody Mary three times in the mirror in order to summon her. In the Stephen King story Bag of Bones, the curse was triggered when a child descended from one of any of the families involved in a gruesome murder, whose name usually began with a K, got to a certain age (in the TV miniseries, this was simplified to just the daughters). And in the popular story The Monkey’s Paw, one had to make a wish on the titular paw in order to start the curse. Which leads to the fun part:

How the curse manifests. A curse manifests after the trigger has been…well, triggered. In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (yes, I’m pulling Harry Potter out), Katie Bell was put in unimaginable pain when she touched the cursed necklace. Touching the necklace was the trigger, and the pain was the manifestation. Another form of manifestation would be the Tecumseh curse, which was that any President elected in a year divisible by twenty would die in office (though Ronald Reagan and President Bush managed to get away). The election year is the trigger, while the death of the President is the manifestation.

How to ward it off. This is optional for literary curses, but it’s something you want to consider in creating a curse. In Jewish folklore, the demon Lilith tries to take the souls of newborns or eat them. However, if one has a mezuzah, a marker on one’s doorpost  that has the name of three angels on it, Lilith cannot enter the home and attempt to take the child. The angels whose names are on the mezuzah were the same angels who tried to get Lilith to return to Adam when she was still his wife. When she refused, they cursed her to become a demon and made it that she could not enter a home with their names on it (that’s how the origin story relates to warding off the curse).

The hamsa, a symbol prevalent in Judaism and Islam, is also good at warding off evil. It’s no good at warding off taxes though.

In another example, there’s a curse among some actors about saying the name Macbeth in a theater which leads to bad luck. Depending on who you ask, there are different methods to dispelling the curse, a popular one being to leave the theater, walk around the building three times, spit over one’s left shoulder, say an obscenity, and then wait to be invited back into the theater.

Containing/canceling the curse. This is also optional in writing fiction, but it should be considered. Two things one should consider when figuring out how to cancel or seal a curse is that it should be difficult, and that it doesn’t necessarily have to do with the origin story. In the movie The Unborn, the dybbuk couldn’t be stopped until it was exorcised. A similar thing happened in the third movie in the American Grudge movies, in which case an exorcism that sealed Kayako into a little girl was needed before she could be stopped. In Japanese onryo legends, the spirit needs to have whatever is disturbing it resolved or it will continue to seek revenge.And in Bag of Bones, Sarah Tidwell did not end her curse until her bones were dissolved with lye, thereby releasing her from Earth.

That’s how you create a curse. As for creating a terrifying story involving that curse…well, that’s up to you. I’m not going to give you directions on that. Not in this post, anyway.

Oh, and one more thing: I saw Dracula Untold and Annabelle at the movies today with a friend. Both were excellent, getting 4.5 out of 5 from me. But something in the latter film really stuck with me: near the end, the priest character says that evil can only be contained, it’s not created or destroyed (or something like that). I think that when you’re writing a scary story, especially one involving curses, that’s some pretty good stuff to keep in mind. True evil is not something you can easily be rid of. At least, not in my experience.

What advice do you have for creating curses?

Have you written anything with curses recently?

Are there any stories of curses that are your favorite or that I didn’t include? Tell me a bit about them.

It’s Week 8 of the semester, which means it’s time I update you on how I’ve been doing so far in the semester. So if you haven’t heard the news so far, I’m extremely busy. I’ve got five classes and a thesis I’m working on, and a part-time job on top of that. I’ve got barely any time for blogging, and I’ve completely cut out television. And if I didn’t manage to find time most evenings right before bed, I’d think pleasure reading was some sort of drug the young people are on these days (though from what I hear that’s not the case at all).

Anyway, I’ve somehow managed to keep my grades up, though I’ll definitely try harder for the next exam in my History of War class, I’m not satisfied with the grade I got on the first one. My History of Pre-Modern East Asia course is going well, though the recitation class is a pain in the butt, even if it is somewhat helpful. Shakespeare is pretty interesting. The teacher is a fun character, and I’ve enjoyed reading Taming of the Shrew and The Merchant of Venice (we start Othello tomorrow as well as take our midterm). And remember that Biology course where we mainly watched movies about human anatomy? It’s like what I expected and then it’s not: most of the films we’ve watched deal with a lot of aspects of human health, so we’ve watched documentaries on our healthcare system and vaccines, a biopic on Louis Pasteur, and films on mental conditions like autism, addiction, and schizophrenia, among others. I think this week we watch a film about an English professor with cancer, but I’m not sure.

My creative writing class has been where I’ve learned the most, probably. I think I’ve made it clear that short stories are not my forte, but I’ve gotten some ideas on how to improve my short stories and my work in general. Already I’ve posted on some of the advice I’ve gotten from my classmates for one of my other short stories, and I’m looking forward to what they say about my next short story when I turn it in two weeks from now.

I’m also learning a lot from working on my thesis. My advisor, the other guy who’s also working on a thesis, and I don’t always have a lot of opportunities to meet up due to everyone having busy schedules and just the craziness of life, but I’ve found our sessions so far illuminating. While work on Rose has been slow due to the short story I’ve been working on for class, I’ve gotten some good advice on how to improve it, including making sure that the tone and atmosphere of the novel is consistent throughout. When it’s finished, I feel like it will have already have been edited a little bit due to the feedback I’ve gotten in the sessions we’ve had together.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ve got work to do, so I’m going to do it. I’ll update everyone again on how my semester is going when it’s over, so have a good 8-10 weeks until then. Until then, Followers of Fear. Wish me luck with the rest of the semester!

I just finished the second short story I’ll be submitting to my creative writing class. This one is titled “Frauwolf”, and it’s about a woman who turns into a werewolf–or as she prefers, frauwolf, meaning “woman wolf”. Werewolf mean “man wolf”, so my character thought she’d coin a term for the ladies out there. Anyway, she turns into a werewolf, but at a certain point she can’t tell whether she’s actually changing into a wolf creature or if she’s nuts, and I write it so I make it hard for even the reader to figure it out either.

This story’s also significant because the main character and her partner are both women, and it’s been a long while since I’ve written any characters that were LGBT (I originally intended to make 011 from Reborn City gay, but I didn’t think it fit with the story I was trying to create, so I mase him just creepy and sadistic and possibly asexual). I’m wondering if having two women in love will influence how anyone sees or likes this story. As far as I’m aware, non-hetero couples are still not very prominent in horror fiction, and it’s common for those that are to die pretty early on or be shunted to the side where they won’t make that much impact in the story. Perhaps having them at the forefront will make a difference.

This particular short story was probably one of the hardest I’ve ever had to work with ever. I had to go back three times to the beginning and start over because I didn’t like the way the story was going. Thus, about two or three weeks that could have been devoted to my thesis were devoted to this particular short story. Finally on the fourth try I came out with a version I happened to like.

Still, considering how I’m more suited for writing novels, I doubt “Frauwolf” will come away from critique day without a lot of comments and plenty of edits to make. I say, bring it on. I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of stuff I could do to improve the story, and if I decide to try to publish it in a magazine or something, plenty of the story I could cut out and rewrite to be shorter. And considering how much I love this story’s concept, I’m really hoping to find ways to improve it.

In any case, I’m putting this story away until it’s actually time to deal with it. I’ve still got a thesis to work on and I’ve taken too long of a break from it to get this thing done. If I finish my homework early (and that happens a lot on Tuesdays, for some reason), I’ll get right on the next chapter. Wish me luck, because I’ve got a meeting with my advisor on Wednesday and I don’t want to tell him I have nothing new to send him!

Well, I’m exhausted, so I’m going to rest and relax till bed. You have a good night, my Followers of Fear. Sweet nightmares to you all.

0471a-fallenangels

I would’ve written this post earlier in the day, but…well, you probably can guess.

Anyway, today was my first critique day in my creative writing workshop. There were three others in the class getting their short stories critiqued, and mine was the third. And it was one of the best critiques I’ve ever had, because they pointed out numerous problems with “Evil Began in a Bar” and gave some really good suggestions on how to improve it. Yeah, the best way to judge a critique is not on how much they praise or hate a story, but on what the critics say that will help you better the story.

As I said, my classmates felt there was a lot that could be improved upon with “Evil Began in a Bar”, which is a retelling of the story of the Fall a la Milton (or a la Ungar, I guess) Some of the big ones were:

  • The tone seemed to shift wildly between dark and comical, serious and light.
  • They couldn’t tell whether this was a dystopia story or a religious fantasy.
  • People unfamiliar with the story of the Fall might be confused by this.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but short stories are not my greatest strength. I’m much better at novels.

Still, there’s a bright side to this. After hearing from my classmates and talking to my teacher after class (in which she agreed with me on my predilection for novels: “You seem to be very expansive in your writing”), I got a better idea of what I can do to modify this story. And like a lot of short stories I seem to be working with lately, this one is going to be rewritten entirely during the second phase. I’m fine with it, really. At this point I’m becoming very used to it, and I like where I could go with this short story on the second draft. I just hope I can keep it under five-thousand words, or it’ll be more difficult to get it published in a magazine.

But before I do any revisions, I’m going to work on the next short story I’m going to write for my creative writing class. That one’s due on the Wednesday before Halloween, so you know I’m going to be bringing the terror. And as the hint I gave a while back indicates, this time it’s going to be a werewolf story. Though if I’m able to pull it off, it’ll be a very unusual werewolf story.

Here’s what’s coming next from creepy ol’ me.

And after the werewolf story…well, I may resubmit “Evil Began in a Bar” for the third time around, when I submit a revision. I guess it’ll depend on how my classmates react to the werewolf story, and how much work I have going on then, among other things. In any case, wish me luck with this and all the other projects I’ve got going on at the moment. It’s because of your support that I’m able to keep working even when stressed out.

Oh, and before I forget, this evening starts Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. According to the Jewish calendar, the Earth is now 5775 years old. So for everyone out there, I hope you have a happy and healthy new year, and I hope you’re inscribed in the Book of Life for the coming year. Also, if I did anything to upset or offend you this past year, I hope you’ll forgive me, because I’ve already forgiven you.

Have a good night, my Followers of Fear!