Posts Tagged ‘living and life’

Reborn City

I didn’t get to do this with The Quiet Game (I forget why), so I’m doing it with Reborn City. Guess what:

Yes, seven days! Reborn City will be coming out November 1st in both print paperback and e-book formats. It’s been a long process, but it’s finally almost time! And I could not be more excited. Well I could be but I’m pretty sure it would involve illegal drugs, so I’ll stay at my normal levels of excitement.

You know, it’s been over four years since I first sat down and started writing Reborn City. I had an idea for a novel–possibly one with a sequel or two–on the way home from the library while listening to a CD with a lot of rap and rock music. I stopped by a Dairy Queen for a treat and started thinking about how to develop this idea, which had street gangs at the center of it and a sci-fi twist. Then at my sister’s birthday, after the cake and presents had been put away, I started writing some notes down in a journal. Then I started researching, and typing a manuscript, and then after many breaks and a lot of painstaking work over the course of two years, I finished the manuscript. Another year and a third of editing, eight months spent emailing chapters to my dear friend Matt Williams and making more adjustment based on his suggestions and the final copy was done. Finally I created a cover on CreateSpace (which you can see above) and I sent it all off to the copyright office.

A few months pass by, a book trailer comes out, and now we’re finally at the end of this long journey. I’m hoping for wonderful things to happen with this book. I’ve poured a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into RC, and I hope people really like reading it. It’s not as scary as some of my other work, so that may appeal to less fear-loving readers. And it’s sci-fi dystopian fiction, so considering today’s market that’s good to have.

But there’s more to it than that. The novel tackles some powerful themes, like racism and Islamaphobia, drugs and gang violence, and a number of other issues. And I’m hoping its those themes that will resonate with readers and help them fall in love with characters, rather than some dashing heroine and a couple of good-looking guys rebelling against a government that’s pure evil (how many franchises did I just describe there? I think I got Twilight in there too).

So without further ado, I’m going to give you guys a treat in honor of RC coming out. The first treat is the RC book trailer, which is right underneath the next paragraph. Immediately following the video is an excerpt from Chapter One of RC, for all your reading pleasure. I hope you like the video and the excerpt and that you’ll be interested in reading the actual book afterwards.

Also, if you haven’t already read them, please see my interviews with Zahara Bakur, Rip, and Jason Price, three very important characters from Reborn City. They’re very amazing people…though two of them did threaten to kill me for various reasons.


Reborn City, former Nevada

28 Anno Bombus (2056 CE)

June 28

Zahara and her family had decided to eat out at a restaurant in North Reborn that served kosher meat, the closest they could get to halāl. “I know it’s for Jews mostly, but it’s a very nice place and the Jews were very nice to us in New York.” Zahara’s father, Emir Bakur had said when he’d suggested it. “They know they don’t have to fear Muslims anymore. And the Chaplinsky family in 4F was nice enough, right?”

However Emir had taken a wrong turn on the still-unfamiliar streets and highways and they had somehow ended up in West Reborn. The sight of the place gave Zahara chills, and it just wasn’t the reports of gang violence: the area had a grittiness that Zahara didn’t like. The cold brown houses, the rusty lamp poles, the cracked, light-grey concrete. West Reborn looked unkempt, uncared for, like the city had kept up the other areas of the city but had forgotten about this one. The only buildings that looked in any good condition were casinos, bars, and strip clubs, displaying three-dimensional holograms of cash prizes and sexy women drinking beer while looking at passerby with bedroom eyes. The sight of them disgusted Zahara.

In the front of the car Emir and Aaliyah were arguing, trying to figure out how to get back to where they were going. Zahara closed her eyes and tried to let the music from her filepiece filter into her right ear. Surrendering to the small device, she wondered if she’d ever get out of this city and get back to New York where she belonged. Somehow, Zahara had a feeling she would never come to like Reborn City, no matter how much she lived here.

After a few more minutes of her parents arguing about which direction, Zahara opened her eyes again, prepared to tell them they should just check their phones for the directions. Her eyes widened as she saw an arm swing up from the sidewalk and throw a rock at the windshield. The glass cracked as the rock rebounded off the windshield and into the road. Aaliyah and Zahara screamed as Emir braked the car and jerked at the steering wheel. The car skidded to a screeching halt, the nose pointing towards the middle of the road.

Zahara saw her father unbuckle his seatbelt and before she could stop him, stepping out to inspect the damage. “What in the name of Allah—?” he said, but stopped as he heard the click of a jackknife being opened. He turned around and saw two men, one of whom was holding a long, deadly-looking blade. Leaning forward in her seat, Zahara could make out the details of the two men: both of the men had a ruddy tan complexion, were wearing green clothes, and had looks on their faces that said they did not like making new friends. On the neck of one Zahara could make out what looked like a tattoo of a pitchfork with a sombrero hung over the right prong.

One of them, who was large and muscular, spoke to Zahara’s father. “Hand over yo’ fuckin’ money an’ yo fuckin’ car.” he said with a Spanish accent. “Ya got that?”

“Sure!” said Zahara’s father, holding his hands up defensively, looking so unlike the corporate lawyer he was. “Just take it easy, okay? Just take it easy—!”

“Hurry the fuck up!” said the other man. “Who ya think yo messin’ with, estupido?” This man was thin and gangly and had a strange leer on his face, like he would rather punch Emir than talk to him.

“Okay, okay!” said Emir, backing back up to the door and turning off the engine. Zahara’s mother Aaliyah saw this and as her husband stood back up out of the car, unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door.

“Mother!” said Zahara in English. Aaliyah looked behind her to where her daughter was sitting on the edge of her seat, fists balled in her lap, chewing her lower lip. “Don’t go out there!” Zahara hissed; Zahara rarely used English with her parents and she was only using it now because she didn’t know if these two men in green were fans of Muslims or not. Either way, it was not a good time to find out.

Zahara’s mother looked at her daughter as if she’d gone mad. “I don’t have a choice, Zahara.” she said in Arabic, pushing a loose lock of hair back under her hijab. “Our car is being stolen.” She opened her door and slid out of the seat. Zahara watched with disbelief as her mother closed the car door. Did her mother think things would go peacefully?

Suddenly the skinny gangster stared at Zahara’s mother and pointed at her hijab. “Hey Manny!” said the skinny gangster. “Check out the headscarf. Musulmàns!”

The fat gangster, Manny, stared at Zahara’s mother, then turned back to Emir, his expression livid. “So, you thought you’d get the jump on us, huh?” he said, thrusting the knife at Zahara’s father. “Fuckin’ terrorist! Let us jack ya car an’ explode us too?”

Zahara winced. Fuckin’ terrorist. She had been right, these two men hated Muslims.

“No, that’s not it at all!” said Emir, looking terrified as the skinny gangster pulled out a gun. “Please, you have to believe me—!”

“Shaddup!” yelled Manny, stabbing Emir in the belly. Emir went rigid as the knife plunged into his belly, then collapsed as Manny pulled the blade out. Blood poured out of Zahara’s father, pooling around him in a big red circle.

Aaliyah screamed in horror, staring at her husband as tears flooded down her cheeks. “Emir!” she cried. “Emir—!”

The skinny gangster pulled out his gun and shot Aaliyah in the forehead; her eyes rolled into the back of her head as Zahara’s mother fell lifeless to the ground. Zahara gasped, trying to keep her tears and screams inside herself. If the gangsters saw her they’d kill her too. And maybe…just because she was a teenager and a girl…they’d do other stuff to her, too. Zahara shuddered to think of what they’d do to her if they did that too.

Manny was kicking Emir’s lifeless body casually, making sure he was dead. “Think they’d play us, did they?” he said to his companion. “Fuckin’ terrorists.”

“Yeah, well they’re shittin’ in hell now.” said the skinny gangster. “Shows what happens when ya mess with Diablos.”

“Yeah.” said Manny, looking up from Emir’s body. “Come on, let’s go—wait a minute.” Manny’s piggy little eyes fixed on Zahara in the backseat of her parent’s car. Zahara squeaked as Manny took two steps towards her. “Yo, Che. Come check this out.” Manny called to his friend, followed by something in Spanish. Zahara nearly froze up as she realized she’d been discovered.

Quickly Zahara unbuckled her seatbelt, threw open the car door and ran, throwing her filepiece as a distraction. Manny and Che jumped back as the filepiece hit the ground, probably thinking it was a grenade or something. By the time they realized their mistake, Zahara already had a head start on them. They set off after her, angrily yelling in Spanish at her. Zahara turned around, saw them catching up, and ran faster, determined to get away.

As Zahara ran, bumping into people and flying past holograms, she began to cry; her parents were dead, she was miles away from any familiar place and with no familiar people to help her. The heartache she was feeling was so intense that she could just keel over and die, but she wouldn’t die here, and she would not let herself be caught by the gangsters chasing after her. She’d get out of West Reborn, find the house (she still hadn’t thought of it as “home” yet), and then she’d call New York and get help. Or maybe kill herself. Either way, she had to get out.

The gangsters were only a few feet behind her. But a few blocks ahead there was a police station. Maybe, if she was able to get there, she’d be safe. She could tell the police what was going on, they’d arrest her parents’ murderers, and then she could go back to New York—

Suddenly Zahara tripped on a shifted slab of concrete and fell. Thrusting her hands out in front of her, Zahara cried out as she scraped her hands and knees. She tried to stand up again but then someone grabbed her shirt from behind and yanked her up. Zahara stared into the faces of Manny and Che, the Hispanic gangsters who had murdered her parents. Che grabbed Zahara’s arms and twisted them into a painful armlock.

“Hello, Little Miss Terrorist.” said Manny. “Thought ya could get away so easily. Thought the po-po would help ya out. Wrong!”

Both of them laughed cruelly, and Manny brought out his knife, holding it close to Zahara’s jugular. The blade gleamed with the blood of Zahara’s father still fresh on it. Che and Manny laughed harder at the expression on Zahara’s face. “The po-po are just pussies.” said Che. “Fuckin’ pussies. They couldn’t catch us an’ throw us in the clink, an’ they would never help a fuckin’ Musalmàn. Besides, even if they would, them assholes can’t see us. It’s dark out, ya know.”

Manny pressed his face close to Zahara’s, grinning wickedly. The foul smell of his breath wafted over Zahara’s face, making her want to puke. “And the nearest streetlamp is right ovuh there.” he added, cocking his head in the direction of the lonely streetlamp.

With a great effort Zahara twisted her head away from the knife. “Somebody help me!” she screamed.

“No one’s gonna fuckin’ come to your rescue, Little Miss Terrorist.” said Manny, pressing the blade to Zahara’s neck; a little bit of Zahara’s blood trickled onto the knife, mixing with Emir’s. Zahara whimpered as Manny pressed his face even closer than before, so close she could see the pupils in his beady eyes. Behind her Zahara could feel Che’s hot breath on the nape of her neck.

Suddenly Manny’s free hand swooped down and grabbed the button on Zahara’s pants, undoing it in an instant. His hand reached into her pants and began feeling around.

“No, please.” said Zahara, tears spilling from the corner of her eyes. “Please don’t do this—!”

“Shaddup!” said Manny, looking up from what he was doing; Zahara felt the blade of the knife dig a little deeper into her neck. “Ya shaddup an’ try ta enjoy it. Maybe aftowards we’ll let ya kill yoself, got it? But no bombs; ya might hurt someone.”

Che giggled as Manny worked Zahara’s pants off, exposing her white underwear. As he did Zahara felt the fight go out of her. She was going to die and painfully too and at the hands of her parents’ murderers. She’d never see her friends again, she’d never see her parents again, and like the two men had said, no one was going to help her—

“What ya mothas doin’?” said a voice. Zahara looked away from Manny as a figure dressed in a black hoodie and jeans stepped into the lamplight. Manny paused and then stood up, pulling the knife away from Zahara’s neck.

As he did Zahara felt her energy disappear. Black edged into her field of vision as Zahara strained to discern the face of the newcomer. But the darkness took her and Zahara couldn’t see his face. The last thing Zahara thought before she fainted was that she would’ve liked to see the face of her potential rescuer.

That, and how embarrassed she was that her pants were lying uselessly around her ankles.

It may break some hearts, but I’m taking a break from writing. And believe me, I don’t want to. I’d rather be sitting on the couch writing short stories, novels, articles, and blog posts, celebrating afterwards with whatever book or TV on DVD I have at hand at the moment.

Just a couple problems. One is that I’m a full-time student with five classes all assigning a ton of homework at the same time. I hate it, but I have to attend class and get my homework done on time. And that’s time consuming. Plus I work about ten to twelve hours a week, and I have responsibilities as resident manager of my building, and I have a ton of reading that’s piled up so I want to get through it before it’s all due back at the library and–somebody stop me!

In any case, I have too much to do to write my fiction regularly. So for the time being, I’ll be restricting my non-school writing activities to some light editing, the occasional blog post, and Weekly Exercises. Yes, I know it’s terrible. I know you want to cry. But dry your tears, it’s only temporary. I’ll probably be free to write again soon. And Reborn City is coming out soon, so there’s no reason to fret. There, all better right?

Honestly, I have no idea who I’m comforting. I’m just trying to see if I can make someone laugh.

Well, until the next post (whenever that may be), have a good evening folks.

tqg cover

Last night a review for The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones appeared on Amazon. This was a very nice 4-star review, keeping the average on Amazon a 4 out of 5. And it was written by my dear old father, affectionately called Abba. Here’s what my dad had to say:

This is not my genre, but since I know the author [:-)], I read the stories.  Each one was very unique and created its own atmosphere and mood.  My favorite story was the Quiet Game but I found the ending a little confusing since I didn’t really know the literary reference at the end; what I loved was the world created in the story and the message it conveyed.  I look forward to the author’s improving his craft, and I will certainly read more.

Well Abba, since you didn’t know the reference, let me tell you that Puck is a fairy or spirit from English folklore who’s considered a very nasty trickster. Don’t cross him if you ever meet him, because he’s just as likely to give you a winning lottery ticket as he is to give you an atomic wedgie. And I’d rather not see that on Facebook.

Also, thanks for uploading that review. It means a lot to me, and there’s good news. Since Reborn City is coming out soon, you can look forward to me hounding you to read that in two weeks’ time! Yay more fiction from your son to read out of obligation as a father! I’m kidding, I bet you can’t wait to read it.

I’m always happy to hear from readers, so whether you liked The Quiet Game or hated it, I don’t mind hearing from you about it. And if you’re interested in reading The Quiet Game; Five Tales To Chill Your Bones, you can read it on Amazon and Smashwords. Have a lovely day.

tqg cover

It’s been exactly three months since I uploaded The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones onto Amazon and Smashwords. I’ve done a sort-of-but-not-quite second edition to fix the typos in the first couple of books, I’ve told people all about it, and now I’m marking the passage of time again, as I cannot believe how well it’s doing.

I didn’t really have any expectations when I first published The Quiet Game. I mean, I wanted it to do well, but with the volatile market that is self-publishing, I could be totally obscure and sell only a few copies or maybe it’ll be some strange explosion and a lot of copies will sell and plenty of people will write reviews. Turned out to be somewhere in the middle, where in the past three months I’ve sold a little under fifty copies and recieved four reviews (there are supposed to be two more but for some reason neither have appeared on Amazon’s website). The average rating right now is still 4 out of 5 stars incidentally, which I’m very happy about. My one five-star review came from Jason Haxton, author of The Dybbuk Box and owner of a box believed to be possessed by an evil spirit. It meant so much that another published writer thought so highly of my work. Then again, The Quiet Game has a dybbuk* in one of its stories, so that might explain a bit of it.

*A dybbuk, for those of you unfamiliar, is a spirit in Jewish folklore. To find out more about it, please go to Wikipedia, see various films about them, or read my book or Jason’s book.

I’m really looking forward to seeing how The Quiet Game does from here on out. And who knows? With Reborn City coming out in fifteen days, sales may increase. Wait, fifteen days? Jeez, that’s soon!

If you’d like to check out The Quiet Game, you can find it on Amazon and Smashwords. Both offer previews into what the book is like, so take a look if you’re interested.

Oh, I wish Jon Stewart wasn’t on a break this week. I have to wait till Tuesday morning to see what he has to say on it.

The Senate just voted to end the shutdown, 81-18. and the House is expected to follow suit. President Obama said he sign the measure immediately. And Obamacare still stands.

And guess what this mostly symbolic self-flagellation of a protest got us? Absolutely nothing.

Well, not true. Apparently the shutdown cost about twenty-four billion dollars taken out of the US economy, according to Standard & Poor. Yeah, 24 billion. Plus another 200 million lost every day the federal government was closed due to so many offices being closed, which comes up to about 3.2 billion dollars added on. That’s 27.2 billion dollars lost, and that’s all we know at the moment. There may be more effects due to this shutdown, and not just economic.

Why did this happen again? Oh wait, I remember. The GOP decided that if Obamacare, signed into law and verified by the Supreme Court as constitutional, was going to go into effect, they were going to shut down the government. They said it was an evil law, and it was going to cost billions. Guess what? Stoning women for being raped is an evil law! Giving healthcare to those who can’t afford it is something I’m pretty sure Jesus would approve of. Oh, and the only thing I saw costing billions of dollars was the shutdown. So…what’s your excuse, elected Republican officials? Because I’m sure you have one.

And don’t say it was to prevent government panels from making medical decisions for you. This isn’t the T-4 program in Nazi Germany or something along those lines. That wasn’t even legal in Germany, it just happened. And don’t say it was to prevent the government from invading something that should be a private matter, because the GOP pushes for that all the time.

Whatever your excuse though, I don’t think most Americans will buy that. The current approval ratings of the GOP (and of Congress in general, mind you) is lower than it has ever been in my lifetime. They know where the blame goes on this one, and they know this shutdown accomplished absolutely nothing. So good luck spinning this one to your favor! Because what you set out to do didn’t happen. Obamacare still stands, and we just barely missed defaulting on our debt because of this shutdown meshuggas!

But if you really want to make yourselves look better, then how about doing your jobs? Fixing the economy, getting rid of the debt! Making sure Americans are safe at home and abroad, not just from terrorists but threats that occur each and every day. Oh, and here’s an original idea, how about less filibusters and working with the other party every now and then? Because let’s face it, both parties could use a little image-sprucing right now, especially since we’ll be seeing the effect of this idiocy more and more as time goes by. And I’m not looking forward to it one single bit.

UPDATE 10/16/13 10:42PM: Congress has signed the bill to end the shutdown and it is being sent to the President for his immediate signature.

UPDATE 10/17/13 9:11AM: President has signed the bill into law and the government has reopened. Federal employees can now return to work, including the idiots we elect.

If anyone tries to leave a hateful comment, please know that I’ll be deleting your comments if they prove rude or offensive. This may be a blog for a horror writer, but I don’t always approve of crude language or behavior.

For the kids, is the motto.

Some of you may remember back in February I participated in something called Buckeyethon. It’s a charity event here at my lovely Ohio State University that’s done every winter that raises money for juvenile cancer research. It ends with a dance marathon lasting twelve hours and where the guests of honor are kids we are helping.

I had a wonderful time last year, raising money for the event, dancing and seeing friends, and meeting the kids I was actually helping out. And at the very end of it, everyone who raised money–over two-thousand students–learned we’d raised over six-hundred and eight thousand dollars for charity. And I want to do it again. Only this time, I’m going to raise a hell of a lot more than I did last year.

Now I know that self-published authors asking their readers for money is considered really tacky. I avoid doing anything like that. I don’t even tell people to buy my books! I encourage it, but I don’t say “buy it or something bad will happen, even something just as minor as I not being able to write anything in the future.”

But this isn’t for me. It’s for charity purposes. it’s for helping children. It’s for curing diseases that takes kids and puts them through hell they shouldn’t have to go through. So that’s why, although I have serious misgivings about going on my blog and asking for people to help me meet my goal and beyond, I’m going to ask. I just hope that afterwards, nobody who reads this blog regularly will be put off and decide not to follow me anymore because I asked for help in this.

Okay. Here I go.

Will you please help me raise money to cure juvenile cancers? If you want to donate, please follow this link to donate. If you don’t want to donate, that’s your choice and I totally respect that. And if you don’t want to read this blog anymore because I asked for money on a blog, I disagree with you but it’s your choice.

Thanks for your help, and I really appreciate it. All donations are accepted up till (as far as I can tell, because I haven’t received a deadline date yet, and I’m sure donations will be accepted up until the last minute) February 14th. Yep, February 14th. Valentine’s Day.  What a way to show kids that you love them no matter what.

So thanks for the help. I really appreciate it. And I hope you continue to read this blog, no matter what.

It is Wednesday of Week 8 of the semester here at Ohio State, putting us squarely halfway through the semester. And as is my custom on this blog, I’m letting people know how I’m doing right now.

Love it at my school!

Right now I’m at work taking my lunch break. Work’s going well, by the way. I work between ten and twelve hours a week, and now that busy season is over, we’ve kind of fallen into a routine that’s quieter than the summer and early fall but stil busy and full of things to do. Actually some of my biggest fans are at work. The head of the Financial Aid department keeps telling me she’s going to buy two print copies of The Quiet Game when she shops on Amazon next, one to read and one for me to sign and keep in pristine condition forever and ever. She just has to find time to shop on Amazon, which is hampered by her very busy schedule. She’s also looking forward to reading Reborn City when it comes out in November, as well as some of my coworkers. I’ve got to love the people who work here!

My classes are also going well. I’m taking five courses right now, and my favorites are without a doubt my Science Fiction and Fantasy literature course and my Holocaust in History course. I learn a lot from my teachers and the discussions are always stimulating and we all have fun, especially in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy course. My one class I’m struggling with is my Biology course, but I’m meeting with my TA a lot to talk about points I’m having trouble with and improve my grades. Hopefully by the next midterm in that class I’ll be Super-Student.

Not likely, but I’ll get as close to it as possible.

I’ve also applied for a Study Abroad trip in May to Europe to see some of the more important sites of World War II Europe. I don’t know if I’ll get in yet (I won’t find out till next week at the earliest), but my GPA is high enough and one of my former teachers wrote me a stunning letter of recommendation, so I’m hopeful. I’ll let you know if I get in.

And at my apartment things are also peachy-keen. My roommate Morgan and I get along very well and we divide up our duties both as housemates and as resident managers for our complex very well. Sometimes I even cook for the both of us, though that doesn’t happen often because Morgan’s studying to be an engineer and has a bigger courseload than I do, so he’s often on his own schedule and I’m on mine. It’s sad that we can’t hang out as often, but I’m okay with it. Besides, there’s something on every night on TV, so I’ve got pleny to occupy my attention.

If I could change one thing about this semester though (besides how much I have to work on my Biology coursework or get a winning lottery ticket), I’d like to attend clubs more often. I attended a couple of club meetings for the English Undergraduate Organization and the Science Fiction club at the beginning of the semester, but somedays my homework load piles up and I just don’t have the time or the energy to go. Especially when some club meetings, like for the sci-fi club, are on the south side of campus and I live north of campus. The only place I can regularly go to that can be considered club-like is OSU Hillel for Friday night services and dinner, but beyond that nothing much. Hopefully for the second half of the semester I might find more time though. Depends on a number of factors, but I’m hopeful.

And finally, some updates on my writing. Video Rage has less than twenty chapters left till it’s completed, so I’m trying to get as much done as possible when I have the time. Laura Horn is still a long way from being completed, but the chapters are shorter than the ones for Video Rage, so I should complete that by midway through the spring semester. The Quiet Game is doing as can be expected for a first-time writer being published, which means it’s close to reaching 50 copies sold. Reborn City is still coming out on time, so that’s something to get excited about. In fact, I plan on doing a bit more advertising for it as the week goes on, so get prepared. Also, Snake is still getting its final draft looked over by author Angela Misri of a Portia Adams adventure, but it should be ready by spring or summer 2014. There’s something to look forward to. And last but certainly not least, I’m already planning what to write after I finish the first drafts of Video Rage and Laura Horn. I’m thinking I’ll do a lot of short-story writing, maybe put out another collection. I also want to write something with a big supernatural influence that is longer than a short story. We’ll see what happens when I finish the WIPs, though.

Well, my lunch break is just about over, so I’m signing off. I’ll let you know if anything happens when it happens, and I hope you have a nice day. Blog on you later!

Some of you may be wondering what the scariest chapter I’ve ever written so far must be. I write scary stories, so it must be something gruesome. What could it be? Monsters? Evil spirits? Something not of this world or any other world we know of?

If you guessed pure, human evil, then you were correct.

I’ve written several times on this blog that one of my works-in-progress, Laura Horn, has a teenage girl and a survivor of sexual assault as its protagonist. Naturally, the question came up of whether or not to actually show her sexual assault in the novel. I’m not sure when I decided on that issue, though it was probably when I wrote the outline for the novel. But I decided to show her assault, devoting Chapter 17 of the book to it.

The past few weeks, where I knew it was only a matter of time till I reached that chapter, were not terrifying, nerve-wracking, or exciting as I expected writing a sexual assault would be. Instead, I just felt a sort of…acceptance, I guess. I’d committed to writing that sort of scene, and when I finally got to it, I got to it.

And last night, after finishing Chapter 17 of Video Rage, I took a short break, and then I started writing Chapter 17 of Laura Horn. Today, after finishing up my homework and meditation class, I did the last of it. and now the first draft of that chapter is complete.

I don’t know if what I’ve written will resonate with readers or feel real to them. I wrote this scene based on testimonies and memoirs by rape victims that I’ve read, the articles I’ve read on the statistic and psychology of rape, more Law & Order: SVU episodes than I dare mention, and my own overactive and sometimes unhealthy imagination. (Those last two I’m not sure you can count as credible sources). But if I’ve done my job right, then I will be able to put the reader directly into Laura’s state of mind at the time of her assault, make them understand what she’s been through and how it’s affected her three years after the event when the story takes place. And only then will the readers really understand who Laura Horn is, and truly be able to empathize with her.

And speaking of which, I’ve had trouble at certain points of writing this story getting into Laura’s head and understanding her both as a character and as a person. But having just written the formative event of her young life, I now can truly get into her head, understand her motivations, her thoughts, were obsession with avoiding drawing attention to herself. So hopefully writing the rest of Laura Horn will be a little bit easier.

However, that doesn’t change the fact that this is the scariest chapter I’ve ever written. In fact, it scared me personally, because I was terrified of the fact that I could conceive this scene and then write it down without losing my stomach. Even now, I’m wondering how screwed up I truly am to write such a scene. Considering how many times Stephen King’s written that sort of scene, I can say I’m fairly f***ed up.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever do such a scene again. However I do believe that when Laura Horn makes it to print, whenever that is, if I’ve done my job right, then the readers will feel the fear I wish to convey. And maybe they’ll understand the terror and trauma of rape victims. Maybe the book will help people who’ve experienced sexual assault. Maybe it’ll cause some people to think before they say someone deserves to be raped. I don’t know if any of that’ll happen, but it’s my hope that it will.

And now I’m going to take a break from writing. I’ve done a lot in the past 48 hours, and I’d like a little break before I pick up with Video Rage Ch. 18. I’ll need to recharge my batteries, especially after writing that sexual assault scene.

Until next time.

Had a pretty interesting experience today. This morning as I was getting ready to leave the house for my meditation class when I had an idea for a short story. I wanted to write it down, but I was about to leave the house though, so I couldn’t write it down. Instead I made a promise to write it down as soon as I had the opportunity to do so.

Just one problem: a good percentage of what passes through our five senses and through our thoughts gets forgotten pretty quickly if we don’t really grab onto the details and keep it in the short-term memory. And guess what? I didn’t seize a hold of this idea and now I’ve completely forgotten it! (I have a feeling it has something to do with the movie Pacific Rim, but other than that I cannot remember a single detail). And when I realized that, you know my beat myself up over losing it.

So I spent my meditation class trying to meditate my idea back to myself. I went over my morning, trying to find the moment where I had that spark of inspiration. However, I didn’t catch it. Whatever that idea was, for now it’s been lost to the darker recesses of my memory.

However, the day and the meditation wasn’t a total wash. I did manage to come up with a second idea that was just as good as the first (I think). I remembered a story I read last night, about a man from my state who had chained up his German Shepherd to a tree for four years and had neglected, abused and tortured the poor thing during that time (as hard as it is to read, I urge you to check out here). I thought to myself, what if the police hadn’t intervened and something happened to the dog? I recalled a certain belief from Southeast Asia about what happens when you abuse certain dogs, and I decided to turn that into a short story.

So while I would like to still get that idea back (and maybe someday I will), I think this idea is pretty cool as well. And it gust goes to show how ideas keep bubbling up in a writer’s imagination. It also shows you need to write them down as soon as you get them, but I think I already mentioned that. If I have any other good ideas, I’ll let you all know.

By the way, has anything like this happened to you? How did you feel about it?

The life of a college student can be really crazy sometimes. Some days I just want to sit down and write, to finish the next chapter in one of my works-in-progress, or maybe a blog post or an article, or a short story. But first I have classes to take care of, and the homework that comes with them can’t be put off until the last second, and I work ten hours a week, and I have to cook my dinner and do my laundry, and I like to watch TV and read a book in the evenings, and I finally managed to find time to get a haircut today, which took some time from homework, but I got that done–where the heck is this train of thought going?!

Suffice to say, I’ve been crazy busy lately. And what’s the worse is that I just want to sti down and write. I’ve been hammering away at my computer on a chapter of Video Rage for about three days now, and I’m not halfway from finishing it. And I just WANT TO FINISH IT! And after that, I want to do another chapter of Laura Horn, followed by Video Rage or a Weekly Exercise, I don’t know. It depends on the day.

But you know, I got my priorities, and until those are out of the way, becoming the next HP Lovecraft will have to wait. The good news is I’m used to working on stories while being swamped with work, so I should still be on the usual production schedule (the first draft of a novel being done in six months to a year). So for now, I’ll keep working as hard as I can, when I can, where I can, and hopefully I’ll be able to get everything I want to get out as soon as I can.

At least in theory. I can’t get copyrights right now, thanks to the federal government shutting down here in the United States (thank you Congress! You’d all fail kindergarten if you had to go back there for a day!). And you know me, I like being insured in case of plagiarism or theft.

Well, I’m off to make a simple dinner and settle down for a nice, relaxing evening of writing and watching The Big Bang Theory and Scandal. Hopefully I’ll get this chapter of Video Rage done too!