Archive for the ‘Reflections’ Category

My First Tarot Reading

Posted: June 14, 2015 in Living and Life, Reflections
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For a while now I’ve been wanting to try Tarot. Not because I actually believe in the ability of the cards to actually tell me my future (I’m a bit more skeptical of fortune-telling than most people would think), but because as a horror writer I have a few story ideas where the Tarot is either a central part of the story or comes up once or twice, so I want to be sure I know what I’m talking about before I start writing. Plus it’s very easy to learn with the right tools, and I’ve always found Tarot to be strangely beautiful and mystical. And who knows? Tarot might actually have something to it. In which case, best I learn it well.

So, if you’re actually unfamiliar with what Tarot is, it’s a form of divination using a deck of 78 cards, each having their own special meaning. The cards, when laid out in a certain spread, can act as signposts on the journey of life when you ask them a certain question. This evening, after reading an instruction book I got online and opening my own deck, I did my own reading. My question was pretty simple, as it should be with Tarot*: since I turned 22 recently, how will the coming year go for me?

The answer, according to the cards, is that I’ll rise to megastar fame, get married and divorced, have a baby, and then die saving the world from terrorists, cementing my legacy in history. And all this before May 2016.

Done laughing yet? Yeah, I wish some of that would happen to me. And even if that were possible, Tarot is never that specific. Like I said, the cards are meant to act as signposts or guides. They hint and rarely, if ever, give the full story. Also, the whole spread has to be used in interpreting the cards, so no one card can give you full insight into the future. It’s not an easy art to learn, especially when each card can have multiple meanings. You learn through trial and error

So what actually happened is that I used a spread known as the Celtic Cross, which uses 10-14 cards to indicate the answer to your question. I looked over the spread, wrote it down in a notebook I got for the very purpose of recording my Tarot spreads, and tried to interpret that. My conclusion is that I either shuffled the deck wrong or I’m still very new to this and it’ll take a while to understand what, if anything, the cards were trying to point me to (or none of it’s real, got to stay open to the possibilities).

The Hanging Man. I might actually be in a state of suspension like it hints at.

Some of it actually did seem on the dot though. The first card was of The Hanging Man, which can literally mean being in a state of suspension, which I am at the moment, waiting for this delay to go to Germany to end. The third card, The Eight of Wands, indicates fast progress after delays and travel, which could pertain to the whole Germany thing, as well as traveling from my apartment to my dad’s house (the third position deals with the past), and the fourth position, the Knight of Wands, seems to complement this. And the fifth position points to recovery after a strain, which is interesting seeing as I strained my hamstring not too long ago and I am working to make it better.

A couple of other things were pretty on the dot, but for the most part there’s a lot of stuff I don’t understand. It’s interesting, and makes me realize how much of this art I still have to learn. Even if I’m on the fence about whether or not there’s actually anything to Tarot, my curiosity is piqued by how some of the cards did point to things I’m actually feeling or thinking about. So I’ll definitely be doing another reading one of these days, seeing what I can learn from this and maybe improve my skill before I actually write a story having to do with Tarot.

In the meantime, has anyone reading this gotten a reading or regularly done readings for themselves and/or for others reading this? If so, I’d love to get your take on this, so hit me up in the comments below.

Also, what do you, my Followers of Fear, think of Tarot and divination in general? Had any memorable readings that turned out to be strangely accurate or just plain off? Loved to hear your thoughts.

Still so much to learn here.

All for now. The Big Birthday Sale is ending in less than an hour from now, so I’ll write a post about how that went in the morning. Though if you hurry, you might still be able to get one of my books from Amazon or Smashwords marked down or for free. It’s still a good opportunity to get a good book at a great price for the next forty minutes.

Until next time!

*By the way, I know there are those who want to tell me Tarot is dangerous, that it involves devils, that I’m going to Hell for using it. I’ve heard it all, and I don’t really care. So if you’re going to comment about how I’m putting my immortal soul in danger or I’m being a bad Jew or something, please stop, because I’ll just use the opportunity to make a snarky joke about it. And trust me, you don’t want to be on the receiving end of my brand of humor. Just ask my folks, they hate it!

The Nicer Side of YouTube

Posted: June 11, 2015 in Living and Life, Reflections
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Yesterday was my birthday, as you probably already knew. Lot of good things happened, but there’s one thing I’d like to focus on in this post. I’m on YouTube a lot (some argue it’s typical of my generation, and to some extent I agree), and yesterday Doctor Who’s official channel uploaded a short video featuring Sarah Dollard, who’s writing an episode for the upcoming season (you can watch the video here). Me being me, I comment on the video that someday I’d like to write for Doctor Who despite being an American. And that opened the commenter floodgates.

Now, YouTube has acquired a reputation where commenters can be the nastiest people around. I’ve seen this side of YouTube before. I once was called gay for commenting on a video of an old anime’s theme song that I used to love watching that show (wrong asshole, I’m bisexual. There’s a difference), one troll told me all the stuff in a video series I was watching was staged despite proof that it all actually happened (he was easy to fend off though once it was pointed out that he had only his belief to back him up), and infamously one guy joked I’d been raped by meditation music when I commented on how a meditation video really relaxed me (you can read my post condemning that joke here). With these sort of experiences, you learn to be a little guarded in what you comment. You filter yourself so that people don’t gang up on you, strangers using their anonymity to just be awful to you or take your words out of context or a hundred other nasty things.

Which is why yesterday’s experience was so heartening and uplifting. Throughout the day, I had people replying to my comment, telling me that I had to just be a very good writer and get on the DW team’s radar in order to work for them, that nationality had nothing to do with it (later I found out that Sarah Dollard is Australian, so there’s the proof right there). I replied that I was a writer, that I had a few books out and that they were on sale in honor of my birthday (and that sale’s still going on through Sunday, by the way. You should seriously check out my work on Amazon and Smashwords for marked down or even free books).

And that’s when it starts getting really awesome. People are wishing me a happy birthday, they’re wanting to know what sort of books I write, one guy even asks for the titles of my books so they can purchase them himself! All told, there were twenty-something replies to my original comment, some of them by me but others by the complete and total strangers I’d learn to be wary of over the years.

You know, the way YouTube is, they’re not very good at policing their comments sections for abuse. Believe me, Google’s tried, but the systems they use often miss the really nasty stuff and sometimes persecute commenters for relatively harmless stuff. Some content creators on YouTube even moderate each and every comment or don’t allow comments whatsoever on their channels because of these problems. And for those viewers like myself, we have to learn to cope with this, either by not commenting in fear of the replies we’ll get or just to learn to grow a thicker skin and develop tools to deal with it ourselves.

So I comment, but I sometimes wonder if on YouTube there’s only so much civility, that comments are on a spectrum from respectful and somewhat nice to just downright awful. Yesterday surprised me and made me very happy. Within those twenty-something replies was a level of kindness and support and love that I didn’t know I could experience outside of Facebook or blogging. I got to learn that people online, especially on YouTube, can still be decent human beings even with the protection of anonymity around them, so easy to abuse sometimes.

And perhaps maybe my faith in humanity was bolstered a little.

So from now when I’m on YouTube, listening to music videos or watching funny content or whatever, I might not be so jaded. I’ll remember this little birthday surprise and I’ll know that not everyone on YouTube has the potential to be a jerk. Some have the potential to be really, really awesome people (and not just because they’re probably Whovians, though that can sometimes play a factor). And I wish the best for the people who were so kind to me yesterday, because what they did was just so overwhelmingly positive and unexpected that it deserves special mention in a time when so many people are using the Internet for awful reasons.

Bravo folks. Bravo. And thanks. You made my birthday that much more special, and I appreciate the encouragement. Here’s hoping I’m writing with the BBC someday!

Villain Songs

Posted: June 8, 2015 in Living and Life, Reflections, Scary Stuff, Writing
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It goes without saying, I love villains. They’re often the most memorable part of a story or among the most memorable parts. Everyone recognizes the killer clown from Stephen King’s IT or Dr. Lecter tied up and wearing a mask in Silence of the Lambs. And in certain musicals, when they have a song about the villain, it can become the best part of the entire show. In fact, in some cases it’s the only good part of some musicals.

I guess I’m a little obsessed with villain songs, particularly “In the Dark of the Night” from the movie Anastasia (perhaps the only good part of an expensive Disney rip-off) and “Be Prepared” from The Lion King. I’ve even written my own villain song about me as a horror writer called “Eater of Fear” (boy, would I love to get that thing produced into an actual musical track) and I came up with an idea for a short story involving a villain song. And I’m not the only one. You’ll find plenty of people who like villain songs and even create lists for them (you can find examples of other people’s lists here, here, and here).

What’s with the love of villain songs? Well, I can think of several reasons. One is that everyone likes a catchy song. It’s part of the reason why we can’t get some of Taylor Swift or Carly Rae Jepsen’s songs out of our heads sometimes (I’ve been there more than once). Villain songs are among the catchiest because they are often used to explain the plans or motivations of the villains, so a lot of thought is put into making the lyrics and tune exciting while explaining these plans/motivations. It’s a lot more fun than you’re average monologue about the villain’s plans or beliefs, right? Nobody downloads those on their iPods!

Tell me you weren’t wiggling a little in your seat when Dr. Facilier started doing this fun little song and dance.

 

Another reason is that–and this is my own opinion, but I think it has merit–most people want to indulge in their dark side every now and then, they want to have a little fun being evil. How many times have we wished we could get revenge on our bosses or on that nasty kid on the playground? Probably a lot, but we don’t because most of us are good people who would never do something so horrid or we’re afraid of the consequences. A villain song is a sort of trip to the dark side. You get to indulge in being bad and have fun singing about it. And when the song is over, what’s the worst that comes back to haunt you? Maybe someone sees you singing and goes to warn somebody else, but that might be it. Usually, the song ends and we move onto the next part of the story.

In addition, villain songs are packed with dark visuals. Even non-fans of horror like the dark and the creepy every now and then, they just don’t like being assaulted with it in the books or movies or shows they read or watch. No, they prefer to dip their toes, and a villain song is a perfect way to do it. If you’ve ever watched “Hellfire” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame or “Be Prepared”, you know they’ve got some arresting visuals. The former has some freaky Gothic and hellish imagery, the latter has freaking Nazi hyenas marching in front of Fuhrer Scar. It’s kind of creepy, it stays with you, and it’s a lot of fun to watch.

Anyone who didn’t find this scene a little chilling is either lying or possibly has ties to dangerous organizations or groups.

 

These and a bunch of other reasons could be why villain songs resonate with us so much as an audience. Whether it’s because we love a villain, indulging safely in our dark side, or we just like a catchy tune, villain songs are just a ton of fun and as long as people are writing musicals, they’re bound to show up again and again in our shows and, if they’re good, in our consciousnesses.

Do you have a thing for villain songs? Which are your favorite? And why do you think they tend to stick in people’s minds so much?

Oh, just a reminder that my Big Birthday Sale is in 2 days. From June 10th to June 14th, all my titles–The Quiet Game, Reborn City, and Snake–will be marked down or, in the case of the e-books, free to download from Amazon and Smashwords. So if you’re looking for something new to read and want to get it at a good price, this might be the opportunity for you. Get excited, because it’s coming soon!

That’ll be all for now, Followers of Fear. I’ve got to go and sing some “Eater of Fear” in my head. Have a good one.

Pushing Your Boundaries

Posted: May 31, 2015 in ideas, Living and Life, Novel, Reflections, Writing
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In case you’re not friends with me on Facebook or you don’t follow me on my author page or Twitter feed, my trip to Russia has been delayed. I won’t go into the reasons why, but just know we’re working hard to get a new date and as soon as I know, everyone else will know, including you, my wonderful Followers of Fear. In the meantime, I’m doing what I’d been doing before the delay: preparing, practicing German, packing, and of course, writing and blogging and editing (bet you expected something beginning with a “p”, didn’t you?). Which leads to this post, which is something I’ve been contemplating quite a bit:

It’s considered healthy in your personal life to get out of your comfort zone and try something new, whether that be a new hobby, a new group of friends, or just a change in routine or attitude. I think at times it’s the same thing with the stories you write. Sometimes you want to stick to writing content you feel is safe, that you as the author feel comfortable dealing with. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing–I’d say most writing is writing in an author’s comfort zone–but occasionally as an author you have to get out of that area and go in directions you normally wouldn’t go.

When we authors try to push our boundaries like this, we may do it for several reasons. On a personal level, an author may want to push themselves in the hopes that they won’t become boring or stale staying in what feels like safe territory, or they might want to see how far they can go. On the level of the story they’re working on, an author might feel he or she is helping to make things more exciting or keep it from becoming too much like some of their other works. Another reason could be for the audience’s sake: authors may feel that something different has to be done with the story, something untried and maybe even a little scary, so that either the audience stays interested or so that they too are pushed out of their safety spots.

An example of this happened to me while writing Rose. In one of the later chapters, my protagonist Rose Taggert remembers some of the formative events in her life. In the first draft, the first flashback in that chapter  ends with Rose being traumatized but not seeing any of the things that would cause the trauma. The flashback after that, while Rose does see and experience some traumatic stuff, it was all things I felt comfortable writing about, nothing that made me personally squirm.

While I won’t post excerpts here on the blog (too much space would be taken up and besides, the book’s still far from ready), I can tell you that in the second draft things changed quite a bit. I looked at that scene, those flashbacks, and I thought to myself, “You know Rami, this is supposed to be horror. You’re not horrifying enough in this part. Perhaps you should go deeper, show more and maybe try to go places you normally don’t. Besides, some other authors you admire would add some very nasty and hurtful dialogue in that second flashback. You should at least try it and see how it works.”

And I did. I expanded the first flashback so that Rose, rather than experiencing her trauma from afar, experiences it up close and personal. With the second flashback, I added a bit more dialogue that was meant to make Rose (and possibly myself) a little uncomfortable, just a bit more afraid than she normally would be. And you know what? It actually worked out pretty well. The flashbacks were much more intense, the tension and terror were heightened, and you got much more of a sense as to why these moments affected Rose so much in her later life.

This experience taught me that sometimes you had to push yourself and your boundaries and be bold, try writing stuff you might not at first be comfortable with, see how it fits with you, your story, and what you’re trying to do with the story. I think that’s especially important to me as a horror writer. Often I’m diving into subjects or going into directions meant to scare people, to make them afraid of what might be lurking outside the house or what is underneath their beds. If I’m scared to go someplace with my story, then perhaps that means I should try it and see how it fits in the story. If it scares me, imagine what it’s doing to my readers!

And I think for a bunch of other writers, from many different genres, backgrounds, and training, pushing those boundaries can be a good thing. It can lead to new and interesting stories, or within the stories themselves bring new twists that make what you’re writing (and what hopefully people are reading) that much better. It also can be considered part of the continual evolution that writers go through, constantly learning and getting better as they craft new stories to tell. And by going outside your comfort zone, an author grows not only as an author, but as a person too.

So I’ll keep pushing boundaries when I feel it’s necessary, see if it works out like it did with the second draft of Rose. Heck, maybe when I get to the third draft, I’ll push some more boundaries, add what happens from doing that to all the other edits my advisor and second readers suggested for me. You never know what could happen. But I think it could make the story much better much better than it already is.

Do you push your boundaries a little or maybe even a lot while writing? How so?

What was the results of pushing those boundaries? Would you do it again if given the chance?

Outlining Short Stories & Novelettes: A Writing Experiment

Posted: May 19, 2015 in Living and Life, Novelette, Reflections, Writing
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I might’ve mentioned this a few times on this blog and on my Facebook and Twitter pages, but I’ve been trying something new with my writing. As you probably know, I’ve been working on a couple of shorter works, a short story and what will likely turn out to be a novelette, since I finished the second draft of my thesis/novel Rose. Unlike previous shorter works, where most or all of the story has been laid out in my head and I’m just transmitting it to the page, I’ve been actually outlining these stories on paper so I have a better idea of where I’m going and to see if doing so improves the stories overall.

I decided to try this because of two things I’ve noticed with my shorter works. For one thing, I’m always worried about the final word count. Many fiction magazines only accept stories of a certain length, and I’m always worried I won’t be able to tell a compelling story within that space, so I try to wedge it in. Usually that doesn’t turn out the results I wish.

Another reason I’m trying outlining is that when I usually write shorter works, most of the story is mapped out in my head. But when I try to get the rest on the page, I sit there wondering which direction to go, how to tell the story just right. And depending on the story, this sitting and wondering can take a while before I actually figure something out and start writing.

For both of these reasons, I’m trying to outline my shorter works. The outlines themselves are just basic summaries of the events of the story, which works for me. It’s just enough information that I can work with it to write the actual story.

And the results have been very interesting. Having a clear direction of where I’m going by writing it all down beforehand not only cuts down on the time I spend on sitting wondering where to go, but having a definite idea of where I’m going makes me less anxious over the word count. It’s kind of…decompressing, in a strange way. I can just write the story as I intend it in the outline and not worry how long or short it is.

As for the stories themselves, the results have been rather mixed. For the first story Streghe, which I finished not too long ago, the outline didn’t help as much, but that was mostly because I kept going back and rewriting or changing the direction of the story. I’d like to write another outline for the second draft though, especially since I think there will be a lot that will change between the first and second drafts. We’ll just have to see what I come up with in-between drafts though and what direction I want to go with that story.

As for the story I’m working on now, a science-fiction story currently at about sixty-seven hundred words, the outline has been very helpful so far. I have a very good idea of where I’m going with the story, and in-between sessions of writing I’m able to lay out what I’m going to put down on the page next in my head, rehearsing whole scenes before I write them down. It’s been a lot of fun working on this one.

Based on what’s happened so far, I think I’ll continue to outline my shorter works along with my longer works for now. As long as it works for me, why not use it? It just goes to show that no matter what stage of your writing career you are in, you’re never too old or too late to learn a few new tricks. And boy, am I glad I learned this one.

Do you or have you ever outlined your shorter works?

What’s been the effects of doing so on your stories?

Where’s Your Creative Space?

Posted: May 15, 2015 in ideas, Reflections, Writing
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I’ve been away from the blog for the past few days. Between working on a really awesome new story and the job hunt and everything else, I’ve been a busy guy lately. But since I’m here, I have a question for you all: where do you go when you want to feel creative?

Now, I define being creative as two different things: either when you’re having a lot of ideas for stories and projects you’d like to do, or when you have the energy to produce those ideas into reality and you can’t stop writing/painting/whatever it is you are doing. And with those definitions, you might have multiple places where you go to have either of these happen. For me, if I’m stuck for an idea or if I’m having trouble moving forward in a story I’m working on, I go take a shower (I might also do that because I’m sweaty or it’s been a long day but that’s beside the point). For some reason my mind unwinds in there and I’m able to come up with new ideas for stories or on how to modify existing stories so that they’re better on the next draft. I also often come up with new ideas during and after a group meditation. If you’ve known me for a while, you know I’m a big believer in the benefits of meditation, and I often find the energy produced during a group session helps my mind make new connections, perfect for coming up with stories.

As for the the latter definition, I like to spread out on either of the couches I have in my apartment and work on my laptop. Usually that’ll get me producing a couple of pages per session, depending on how into the story I am that day and how many distractions there are to keep me from writing. I also tend to favor one couch over the other, depending on the time of day. Not sure why, but I think it might have something to do about where the sun is shining during the day.

But how do we creatives find our creative spaces? That’s something that each individual has to figure out on their own. Some people make a single room in their home their creative space or map out a single space as the place where they get the most ideas and/or work done. I heard one novelist liked to sit on the rim of her bathtub while worked through her stories. Others go out of their homes to coffee shops or parks. And some will make do with anywhere they can get a moment, be that on the way to work each morning or on an airplane or in the laundry room while the kids are zoned out watching TV. A lot of it depends on the person in question, their circumstances and temperament, the places they go to write or whatever they do, the time of day, and a whole bunch of other factors.

It’s really interesting when you think about it. Where someone goes to be creative–either of the definitions I supplied above–can tell you a lot about what sort of person they are. The places I go are at home and where I might try and unwind after a long and stressful day, so you could say I like to be relaxed or unstressed when I’m working on something. And frankly, that’s true. When I don’t have a lot on my mind, I tend to find it easier to tell a story or come up with a new idea.

Where do you go when you’re trying to have a new idea or when you’re trying to create something extraordinary? Why do you think that place resonates with you so well?

By the way, working on a new science fiction story right now, and it’s coming along great. I’ll post about it when it’s done. I think a lot of people will enjoy this one, it’s got a very interesting premise to it.

Spring Semester 2015: Post-Semester Wrap-Up Report

Posted: May 7, 2015 in Living and Life, Progress Report, Reflections, Writing
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Well, finals are done and I’ve gotten all my grades back. You know what that means? It’s time for my last ever post-semester report (unless I decide to go to grad school, but at this point I wouldn’t bet on it). Normally I’d have to wait another week or so to receive all my grades back, but I’m a graduating senior and our teachers have to give us our grades earlier than others so that we can graduate without any problems.

And you know what else? I ALMOST GOT ALL A’S THIS SEMESTER! I was so close, but I got a B+ in British Literature. Little annoyed about that, but in all my other classes I got A’s, so I guess I can let it slide. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s ever been to college and never gotten all A’s. Besides, if you count my study abroad trip, which counted for class credit during the summer session, I got all A’s–or only one A–that term.

Anyway, back to the report. I had a really good time this semester. I had three classes–Restoration and 18th Century British Literature, Business & Professional Writing, and History of Witchcraft in Medieval Europe–and they all had something to offer that made them interesting and fun. Yes, even the British Lit course had something to offer. You’d be surprised how risque 18th-century plays and novels can actually be. And I got a lot of inspiration for stories from these classes, especially the History course (as my post from last night made apparent). I’m glad I got through them okay, and I’m sure some of what I learned will help me in the future.

This semester I also finished the first and second drafts of my novel-as-a-thesis Rose and argued it in front of my advisor and one of my teachers. Working on Rose was both a joy and a pain in the ass. It took up a lot of time, and I had to change so much of the story over the course of the year. And judging from some of the feedback I got, I’ll have to do some more editing. But besides giving me credit and looking good on my resume, Rose is a very good novel, even though it’s still not ready, and I had a lot of professional help that got it to this stage of its development. I can’t wait to see what happens when I work on the third draft (whenever that may be. Trust me, I’ve got a heavy schedule, so it might take a while to get to the third draft, let alone through it. Them’s the breaks of the biz, I guess).

And work…oh my God, I nearly cried at the office this week. The staff came up to us yesterday, me and this girl who had both worked at the Financial Aid Office for our entire college careers and gave us signed cards and little gifts. It was the sweetest thing ever. I’m so glad that I got to meet these people. The office has been more than just a job, it’s been a place where I’ve grown and made great friendships. Heck, these guys helped get me to Europe a year ago! You have to love them for that. I hope we can stay friends even after I’ve left the office for the last time.

Graduation in the Stadium. It’ll be here soon. And I can’t wait.

 

And on that front…well, someone recently advised me not to speak too much online about my job search, and there was some truth to their reasoning. I will say though that there is hope on the horizon, and the moment I have something, I’ll be screaming it from the top of a mountain, you can trust me on that.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m going to get started on a short story, so let’s hope I make some progress on that. Have a good one, my Followers of Fear.

One Week Till Graduation

Posted: May 3, 2015 in Living and Life, Progress Report, Reflections
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It’s coming soon.

It’s coming.

Well actually at the time I started writing this post it’s six days, eighteen hours, and 18 minutes till graduation. But who’s counting?

Still, it’s amazing that this milestone in my life is coming so quickly. I’ve been looking forward to it for nearly a year, and by he time I turn around, it’s probably going to be here. I’ll see my whole family (and I mean my whole family, around ten or so people are showing up for this), I’ll walk down that aisle for my diploma, my mother will cry her eyes out and then be grateful that for mother’s day she’s got one kid graduated and three to go. There will be tears, photos, selfies galore. I’ll get my diploma and meet President Drake for the first and possibly only time. Afterwards there will be more photos and congratulations, I might have time to change my clothes, and then we’ll go out to dinner.

Oh, and alcohol. Pleeeenty of alcohol will be consumed. It’s graduation, it’s to be expected.

You know, I’m really going to miss Ohio State. So much happened here. I took so many fun classes, a few ones I wish I could do over or never took at all. I made great friends, some of whom I’ll stay friends with for life. I met so many great professors and learned so many awesome things from them. I published my first three books and wrote two or three more while I was here. I published some articles and short stories, started working for Self-Published Authors Helping Other Authors. I went to Europe on a study abroad trip. I worked in a really wonderful office with really awesome people. I got my first apartment and started to really become an adult (paying bills, creating a credit history, etc.). And while I was here, I grew an audience of readers who enjoy my posts, love giving me feedback, and even read my books from time to time.

I think what I’m going to miss the most though, more than the excitement and surprises of learning something new each and every semester, is the challenge. Each and every year, and each and every semester, I’ve had new challenges to overcome, new obstacles to tackle and fight against. This has ranged from getting used to college, to getting used to semesters, living in my first apartment with a new friend, going abroad, doing a thesis, and a million other things. I like to think I met and beat challenge successfully.

Well, depending where I get my next job, there will definitely be new challenges to deal with, so that won’t be a problem. Hopefully I’ll know where I’m going soon (still working on my first job, but hopefully I’ll have more news soon). And you know what? As much as I love OSU, I feel it’s time to move on and see what’s next for me. I can’t remain as a student forever, and I don’t think I’d want to, even if I could and it cost me next to nothing. College is meant to be temporary anyway, so why stick around?

And I’m actually looking forward to getting away from a few things. Classes I hate, huge reading assignments, that sort of thing. Enough with that. And I’ll definitely be glad to see the last of those preachers on the Oval who keep telling us we have to become proper Christians (whatever that means) or we’ll go to hell. Honestly, I heard one of those guys claim the Girl Scouts are going to turn us into hedonists. I was like, “Whuuuuuuut?”

Well, I’ll make sure to post about graduation after it happens in one week. Or as a certain ghost I know likes to say:


Sorry, could not resist. You know, I once joked on Facebook that I’d married the ghost in that movie and that one post got so many likes and hilarious comments. And then some people thought it was true. Yeah, that was the awkward icing on the cake. Still, hilarious story. Might post about it some day.

Anyway, I’d like to thank everyone for sticking with me through all of my undergraduate career. I hope you guys continue to stick with me as I take on whatever comes next and as I continue to work on becoming the next big horror writer.

Until the next time, my Followers of Fear. Hope you’re not as busy as I am.

The Super Dilemma: Women, Race, and The Marvel Cinematic Universe

Posted: May 1, 2015 in Living and Life, Reflections, Writing
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[Writer’s Note: The following post does contain some slight spoilers about the new Avengers movie, but it’s all very minor stuff, nothing that would ruin your viewing of the film if you plan to go and see it. Just wanted to let you know.]

So last night I went with a friend of mine to catch Avengers: Age of Ultron. It was fantastic, great action scenes, some really dark moments of character development, and plenty of that humor we’ve come to enjoy from the MCU films. If I were to give this film a rating, I’d probably put it between a 4 and a 5.

However, there were some things that bothered me, and I want to talk about them here. One of those things, as said by Maria Hill during that party (which we’ve known about for months, so it’s not a spoiler): “Where are all the women?” Yes indeed, where all the women? If you think about it, while there are plenty of women in these movies who hold their own against the men, the women are still underrepresented in the MCU. Black Widow has shown up in four films so far and set to appear in the next Captain America film, but a solo film isn’t even in the works (though a treatment apparently has been written) and she’s only got 24 action figures compared to over a hundred various Iron Man toys.

It’s even more sad when you consider how she’s such a great, well-rounded character who can be a great role model for girls, and Scarlett Joahnnson’s costars make fun of her and call the character “a slut” and “a whore”. Yeah, they did that. Women are so much more than their sexuality and gender, and yet these guys reduce a character to being sexually promiscuous just because she’s comfortable around a bunch of testosterone-high males. Seriously, half or more of the audiences of these films happen to be female, as I understand. At least half the people in the theater with me last night were women, and I don’t think they were there just for Captain America and Thor’s good looks. You’d think the people making these films would remember that more often before saying something so hurtful and wrong.

Seriously, where’s her time? Where’s her solo film?

 

Now, there is a Ms. Marvel film in the works, Agent Carter was a real hit when it came out as a TV miniseries earlier this year and AKA Jessica Jones is being made into a series on Netflix, but the Ms. Marvel film isn’t due out until late 2018, a full year after DC plans to release a Wonder Woman film. Really Marvel? You’ve been doing this for way longer than the other studios, and you’re going to let DC get a superheroine flick out before you? I’m ashamed. You could’ve at least put more priority on getting more female characters out there.

Another thing that gets my goat (and again, this won’t ruin your experience of the movie, so don’t bite my head off), is that while Nick Fury, James “Rhodey” Rhodes/War Machine and Sam Wilson/Falcon make appearances, the latter two’s involvement in this film is minimal at best. War Machine shows up near the very end but ends up contributing very little. And Falcon is maybe in the film for a little over forty seconds, making me wonder why he was in the film at all if they weren’t going to really use him.

Really? Look, by 2050 minorities are going to be the majority in this country, and shows like Scandal or How To Get Away With Murder and movies like the Fast & Furious franchise are popular partially because of their extremely diverse casting. People like seeing characters like them that they can look up to in these stories, and these franchises and shows give that to so many people who have been shut out of the entertainment industry for years. Yet the most diverse casting so far in these films is the group from Guardians of the Galaxy. And I think with so many different non-white heroes in the Marvel universe, the filmmakers are making a big mistake by not trying to have more diverse casts in their movies.

Then again, there is room for hope. A Black Panther film is in the works with Chadwick Boseman as the character, there are rumors that the new Spider-Man might be black or Latino*, and hints from Age of Ultron that the next couple of movies will feature more diverse casts, which I can only say is a good thing. And with Marvel planning on putting out more of these films at least through 2028 as long as people are still willing to see them (my God, this franchise will never end!), so there’s still opportunity to make sure the women of the MCU get their chance in the spotlight as well.

They’ve got plenty of time, so I hope thy use that to put out a few films with more diverse casts.

 

We just have to hope that Kevin Feige and the folks producing these films take the hints their audiences are sending them.

What’s your take on this? Is it a big problem, or are critics taking this issue way too seriously?

Which character would you like to see given a solo film?

*I’m sorry, I’m going to take the end of this post to rant a little and blow some steam. I kind of liked the Marc Webb Spider-Man films with Andrew Garfield. He was funny, they were clearly setting up a cinematic universe of their own, and I liked the characters very much. But Rise of Electro makes less than $750 million at the box office and what does Sony do? Cancel all immediate plans for a sequel and sell out to Marvel so that Spidey can join the Avengers! I mean really! Why even bother making the films in the first place? I just hope Spidey 3.0 is funny and engaging, otherwise one of my childhood heroes is going to be ruined for me.

Arguing For Equality: Gay Marriage Before the Supreme Court

Posted: April 29, 2015 in Politics and Leadership, Reflections, Social Activism
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Yesterday, arguments on four consolidated cases relating to same-sex marriage began in the Supreme Court. The cases mostly have to do with the legality and constitutionality of same-sex bans in certain states, and if states have to recognize same-sex marriages from out of state, that sort of thing. According to the New York Times article I just read, things went about as expected: the justices were divided along the traditional party lines, though Justice Kennedy seemed to show some sympathy towards the couples opposing the ban. Not a bad start, in my opinion. And considering how the Supreme Court ruled in 2013 and the recent tide of marriage victories in states across the country, LGBT advocates have good reason to be hopeful.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you already know that I am openly bisexual (if you’re new here and this is your first time hearing this, surprise!). I also have friends and family who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender, as well as many different straight people. I’ve written an article about how the Bible could actually allow homosexuality rather than demonize it and I wrote a follow up article to that defending my beliefs. And from my perspective on this, these cases are about more than just marriage, though that’s a big part of it. It’s about making people feel equal to everyone else. It’s about acknowledging that LGBT are people, and deserve to be treated as people.

I first started realizing my sexual orientation during the fall semester of 2013, though I’d had inklings of it over the years. You know what the first emotion I felt was upon realizing I was bisexual? Fear. Because even though I knew so many LGBT people, that they and many others are accepted by the general populace, that the country is moving towards being more accepting and that by the time I had kids LGBT people will be fully-accepted members of society.

I was afraid. Because in many places, including places where the LGBT community is strong and loved, there are people who are scared to come out, that there are places where being out or suspected of being LGBT can get you ostracized or even killed, that there are plenty of people who hate me and the LGBT community because of our very existence, maybe even kill us in some cases.

And that scared me. Nobody wants to be hated, to be cursed to death for our existence, We all want to be accepted. But I had to accept myself and eventually I did. And then I came out, and I was loved and supported. But what about other people, those who can’t come out or be themselves because they’re afraid of how the people in their lives will treat them? Where they’re considered less than human, monsters masquerading and mistreating the human body? Why should they be unable to accept who they are?

Now I know that granting a marriage license won’t solve homophobia in America or worldwide overnight. But it’s a good start. Marriage is something that every kid knows about before they grasp the concept of death or where babies come from. It’s one of those things that’s made to be something magical, powerful, a bond that is not easily questioned or taken for granted without consequences. Imagine the good that can do if we as a nation extend that to everyone no matter their genetic predisposition (yes, it’s genetic, they’re finding more and more evidence of that every damn day, and no amount of praying is going to change that, just as no amount of praying is going to turn me into Vin Diesel) towards whom they’re attracted.

And extending marriage to same-sex couples isn’t going to cheapen marriage, or negatively impact heterosexual marriage, or hurt kids. All the research that says it will has been proven false or doesn’t actually exist. Clergy aren’t going to be forced to perform marriages they don’t believe in, because there is always going to be a clergyperson who does want to perform such a ceremony or there’s a courthouse where the marriage can be performed. And traditional marriage won’t be thrown out the window, because traditional marriage isn’t really a thing to begin with. Marriages used to be business deals between the heads of two households, with the creation of a new family as part of the deal. It was only during the late 17th and early 18th centuries that daughters had any say in their spouses, and only much later on that love became a major consideration in marriage arrangements. So marriage as we know it might only be 100 years old or so.

And believe it or not, there have been partnerships in this country between people of the same sex that were considered like marriage or as marriage. Several Native American tribes allowed for same-sex marriages (people attracted that way were considered special in the tribe) and after America was established there were same-sex marriages by their neighbors, including James Buchanan. Yeah, one of our Presidents. Prior to his time in the White House, Buchanan had a ten year partnership with a man named William Rufus King (later Vice President to Franklin Pierce) and in later years wrote to a member of the Roosevelt family about wooing several gentlemen without much success.

With all this, I think it’s important that the Supreme Court make a decision that reflects what I know is true: that just because someone is born a certain way doesn’t mean they are wrong or evil or they need to be changed. They just need to be given the same protections and opportunities as everyone else. In other words, they need to be treated like everyone else. And making that the law of the land with one of the most beautiful bonds one can create between two people is a good way to begin with that.

Thank you for reading.

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