Posts Tagged ‘horror’

People from outside the horror genre think it’s pretty easy to scare people. Just add a monster/ghost/serial killer, people running in terror, and a creepy forest that is called “creepy” by the author, and it’s terrifying.

Bullshit. It’s actually really tough to make things scary. It takes more than a bunch of scary words, a dark forest, and a monster to make something scary. I should know, every time I get on the laptop to write I’m struggling to set atmosphere and arrange words and try to make something old new and terrifying again.

That last bit is one of the toughest things to do. Horror is a genre that’s full of cliches, and we enthusiasts and creators are both proud of it and trying to subvert or get around them while writing. Part of that is trying to make an old monster–a ghost, a serial killer, an evil house, etc.–seem different, seem new, seem like it hasn’t been done before. Remember my review of It Follows? That movie had taken an old concept in horror (sex equals death) and had found a brilliant way to reinvent it. To some degree, all authors of horror are trying to create that, a story that takes an old concept or monster and make it scary in a brand new way.

Sounds easy, right? Wrong. You have to look at all these other works dealing with the concept and wonder to yourself, what can I do that hasn’t been done? And sometimes the idea you’re running with has been done hundreds of times over already. Vampires, werewolves, zombies, witches, aliens, serial killers, ghosts, etc. They’ve all been done and you’re trying to find some new angle, something that hasn’t been tried or done before with them. It’s made even more difficult when you consider that there are probably piles and piles and piles of other novels that you haven’t read and they might have done the same things you’re considering doing. With all that, looking for something old to make new and scary again is quite the challenge.

It’s even more difficult to make entirely new things scary. Every writer wants to do a Cell or a Night of the Living Dead or a Paranormal Activity, to make something scary for the first time. It’s even better than taking something old and making it scary again, because you’re making a mark, you’re doing something that all those afterwards will have to measure themselves by. It’s just about any novelist’s dream, but in genres like horror where you see a lot of the same stuff over and over again (and a lot of it is trash), it’s only a few degrees away from striving for the Holy Grail.

Yesterday I had an idea for a novel involving a small town in Texas and a secret surrounding flooded rivers. As far as I’m aware, the particular angle I’d be going with this novel has not been done before. I’d like to think it’ll make for some interesting fiction, make some people wish they could do something similar. Honestly, I don’t know. But I’m excited that I have something like Night of the Living Dead or Cell or Paranormal Activity, something that hasn’t been done before and others might have to measure up to someday. That’s how big a deal it is to me and to other authors in my position. And when I finally begin to write this story, I’ll do it so that not only will I strive not to disappoint my readers, but I won’t disappoint myself.

How do we come up with these ideas? There’s no set way. We just read a lot, write a lo. We go to the films and watch the TV shows, we look at what’s been done, what hasn’t and what could be done. Is it easy? Not in the least. This is a genre where the road is well worn most of the time, where many have trod before. We’re looking for new ways to trod and for a path hidden behind foliage that we can cut a path through with our pens like machetes. And we don’t stop looking, no matter what. That’s just how we are as writers of all things dark and creepy.

Ultimately, we are not doing what we do because it’s easy to do. We’re doing it because we love it and because we love it we want to make it good. To do that we have to try to make our stories fresh, new, unpredictable, something we haven’t seen done before. It’s a difficult job, but if we do it right, then we’re doing something right as horror writers.

Do you have tips for making something old seem new and scary again?

What’s something you’ve seen not done before? What stuck you about it that made it seem original?

I am Sheldon Cooper.

I’m great in my field, or perhaps I’m narcissistic enough to think that I’m great. I can talk on and on about writing and horror until I realize it’s too late, I’ve made the person or persons I’m talking to feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I don’t even realize it. But then I find myself talking about how much I hate the Friday the 13th remake and I forget I’m supposed to be having a conversation.

I have odd habits that make no sense to others. I laugh at jokes only I find funny. Sometimes they don’t even leave my head and I’m in hysterics. I talk to myself, I trace shapes in the air with my mind. I hold imaginary conversations with my characters and with other people’s characters. Whatever leads to an idea, right?

Social situations can confuse me. I’ll say something that seems totally innocent in my head, and not realize most people will find a second, possibly offensive or disgusting meaning to it. If I’m lucky, I’ll realize within the next couple of hours this faux pas and never repeat it. Occasionally I never notice though, and I worry about those times, because I’m not sure when or where or why they happened. I only know that they probably have.

If someone says I shouldn’t do or say something, I will ask why if the answer isn’t immediately obvious to me (which is usually sixty percent of the time). If you only say “Just because” or “It’s bad”, I won’t believe you or listen to you. If asked why, I will reply “Once some nasty peers of mine asked me if I was gay before I knew what that meant and they wouldn’t tell me. I said yes just to see what would happen and was the laughingstock for the rest of the day.” So you either tell me what’s so wrong and you walk me through it to make the point, or I’ll just assume that it’s not so big a deal because you don’t want to spell it out.*

Sometimes I’m resistant to changes or new things that seem great but I just don’t feel comfortable with yet. I was horribly opposed to social media like Facebook for years because I just didn’t want to have to try it, an to a certain extent it just wasn’t necessary. I’m only now considering a smartphone. A sudden change in schedule can also annoy me to no end every once in a while. And if I can’t watch my shows? Oh, it’s going to bug me. And don’t make me try that thing I have preconceived notions of. I’m sure I’m going to hate it until I try it and I form new opinions.

I like fun, but sometimes I’m happiest in front of the TV with a drink and a show, writing during the commercial breaks or slow parts of the show. If there’s a cat on my lap, even better. I don’t date much, if at all. I sometimes feel that the whole dating/mating/courting process is such a waste of energy and an unnecessary cause of stress. And why go out? The indoors of the world are so friendly, comfortable and familiar.

Oh, and I’m very pale. Can’t forget that.

But I do have my differences from Dr. Cooper. I write fiction and tell stories. I like touching and hugs and I like to be social, though sometimes I prefer it on my own terms. And my roommate and I don’t banter about in such a way that audiences would laugh if they heard us. Plus I definitely believe in God and ghosts, so that’s another important difference.

But yeah, very much like Sheldon Cooper. It’s not always a bad thing–some people say my eccentricities are part of my charm–but it does have its pitfalls. Still, I wouldn’t change me for the world**, because then I wouldn’t be able to do what I love and do the things I’m able to do. It just would be too different.

*I remember when I was eleven or twelve I learned from a camp friend there was an N-word. Being that age and in an environment where swearing was as plentiful as breathing, I wanted to know what it was, but no one would tell me and they wouldn’t tell me why they wouldn’t tell me, which upset me to no end. I didn’t find out until a year later and read Stephen King’s IT why that word was so bad. So way to go, camp kids, you let a horror writer explain to a kid why he shouldn’t use the N-word. And if that doesn’t take the cake, years later some of those same campers would use the N-word casually, calling each other that when we were the whitest Jewish kids you’d ever seen. By that time I was the one trying to keep them from saying it, but up until the end of summer they never stopped, even when a black man nearly heard them say it. I tell you, talk about ironic reversals!

**Unless of course it’s for the suave spy/bad boy personality that’s at ease in almost any situation and draws people together for a common cause, usually defeating some awful evil. I might go for that.

Well ladies and gentlemen, it’s official. I stayed up too late working on it, and then I finished and did a word count, which took up more time, then I sent an email, and then I did a dance routine to one of my favorite songs to celebrate. Yeah, I’ve eaten up a lot of time to celebrate. And I think I miscounted on that word count.

But yes, the second draft of Rose is finished, thank God. I knew I’d get it done by late March, but I didn’t think I’d be so down-to-the-wire with it. And these last couple of days, I got through chapters like…what’s an original metaphor? Fellow Star Wars fans go through the movies on May 4th? That’ll work.

Anyway, if you don’t know much about Rose, it’s a novel I wrote as my senior thesis. I didn’t need to do a senior thesis, but I felt like doing it. And let me tell you, it’s been a challenge. I had to rewrite the plot at one point, and at times with school and work it was difficult getting through it all. But I managed to do it somehow, and I got through the second draft. Now all that’s left is the thesis discussion with my advisor Manny and one of my teachers who has agreed to read it (I have a feeling she’s going to be pretty terrified over the next week or so). The novel centers around a woman named Rose, who is brought back from the dead through very powerful magic by a man who claims to be her lover but isn’t all that he says he is. And that’s just the start of her problems!

Trust me, it’s as creepy as it sounds.

Anyway, here’s the page count and word count for the second draft. In terms of pages (as always, 8.5″ x 11″, double-spaced, 12-point Times New Roman) is 164 pages, about ten shorter than the first draft. In terms of word count (which I’ve recounted), it’s novella-length at about fifty-thousand words, or a thousand words shorter than the first draft. And still much shorter than the shortest Harry Potter novel, so pretty manageable.

Tomorrow, I’ll send a full manuscript to my teachers so they can prep for the discussion. I meet with my advisor on Thursday, so hopefully he’ll give me some tips for the third draft (though it feels like I’ve gotten a third draft thanks to all the help I’ve gotten with this story). After that, nothing to do until I take the next step, whether that be another draft or if I decide to go straight to publication.

In the meantime, I think I’ll take a short break, work on a few blog posts I’ve been meaning to do, read some books, and write a short story bfore I get back to what I was doing before the school year started. That’s right, I’ll get back to work on Video Rage. Rejoice, fans of the Hydras, because I’ll be back on it faster than Speedy Gonzalez.

In the meantime though, it’s late and I’m tied. You all have a good night, my Followers of Fear (or a good day, if you’re reading this over your morning coffee). I know I am.

Here’s an impression of some of my reactions while watching this film:

“Aah!”
and “Yikes!”
and let’s not forget “Oh my f***ing God!”

Yeah, it was a really good movie. It’s like watching the movie version of a Stephen King novel without actually having anything to do with Stephen King. Inspired by childhood nightmares of writer and director David Robert Mitchell, It Follows…well, follows Jay, a young woman who has recently been seeing a handsome young man named Hugh. One night they have sex in Hugh’s car, which leads to all sorts of trouble. Apparently Hugh’s passed on a curse, making Jay the target of a creature that can only be seen by those affected by the curse and follows them at a walking pace with the intent of killing them, and then going after whoever was the previous bearer of the curse. The only way to pass the curse on is to have sex with someone else.

The “sex equals death” trope has been part of horror since perhaps before Dracula or Frankenstein, but it’s so rare to see a well-worn theme reinvented like this, making the film a very strange metaphor for STDs and the overwhelming power they have on our lives. There’s also the fear of intimacy, alongside a fear of strangers and what they can do to us. That last theme is exploited pretty well in this movie, where every unknown character or extra could be It. Heck, at one point I was wondering if It was a squirrel, and I was afraid!

But that’s not all that makes this film awesome. For instance, the writing is phenomenal, starting slow but mysterious and quickly getting exciting. There’s barely any gore, and the jump-scares, rather than relieving tension, enhances the tense atmosphere that just builds throughout the film. The few moments of humor in this film seem to fit right in, giving us a short break from the constant suspense that characterizes It Follows throughout. And the way it ends is terrifyingly awesome, the perfect satisfactory ending (who knew I’d get that sort of ending just hours after my last post?). And the monster, so undefined and strange, is guaranteed to cause you terror, even at its strangest (and arguably slightly goofy) moments.

Not to mention the acting from the small cast, who are extremely talented! Special mention goes to Maika Monroe, the gorgeous actress playing Jay, shows wonderful breadth and ability despite still being very early in her acting career. I think I fell in love with her a little while watching her performance, it was that good. Also worth mentioning is Keir Gillchrist as Paul, a young man who obviously is crazy for Jay, and his earnest manner is so wonderful that you really want to support him no matter what happens. I definitely empathized with him, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who will.

I can say more about this film–it is phenomenal–but I don’t want to give away any more. Instead, I really encourage horror fans to go see this movie if you can. It’s creepy, it’s fresh, and you’ll have second thoughts about one-night stands forevermore. Just a wonderful example in the continuing trend of great horror films from the indie scene and made on smaller budgets that scare us more than any bigger-budget franchise film.

I’m giving It Follows a 4.5 out of 5. This film is a new gem in the horror genre, so much that I tried to get the poster from the box office after the movie (unfortunately they don’t give those away anymore, darn it). I’m almost kind of hoping for a sequel. God knows the film leaves open the possibility for one, and I wouldn’t mind having some questions answered and seeing Jay and her friends grow in the face of this threat. On the other hand, why risk the possibility of ruining a great story by making a sequel that might fail to live up to the original? It’s quite the dilemma.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m going to bed. Maybe I’ll have a nightmare that’ll lead to an awesome story of my own. One can only hope, right?

“I love a happy ending.”

You hear that a lot. People go to the movies or read books or watch TV shows or plays and they tell you that the happy ending is the best part. Some people won’t even check something out–movie, play, book, whatever–unless they know there’s a happy ending in the story, as if their whole enjoyment of this creative work hinges upon how it ends and nothing else.

But what is a happy ending? What is the definition of a happy ending? If you think about it, it’s not as easy a question to answer as it seems. It can actually vary between genres. In romance, a happy ending is that after many trials and tribulations the hero and heroine finally end up together, madly in love, and the villain, if there is one, either realizes the errors of their ways and repents for it or they suffer for the misery they’ve caused. In fantasy, usually the quest the characters set out upon is accomplished, though sometimes that has its own consequences (the hero dies or, like Frodo in LOTR, has been too affected by the events of the story to truly be happy). And in horror, happy endings aren’t easily achieved. If you’re lucky, you’ll survive and have most of your psyche intact. Anything else is up in the air.

And in some cases, happy endings don’t come at all. Take about a third of Shakespeare’s plays, or movies like Oculus, or the movie Godfather (everyone gets brought low in that film). How about stories where the enemy is defeated but someone dies tragically (Moulin Rouge). Or maybe, as in one of my favorite indie horror film I Am A Ghost, you are left with more questions than answers.

I think happy endings are actually pretty subjective and hard to define. Does everyone but the bad guy win? Do the lovers end up together? Does nobody come away with traumatic experiences? I think it’s easier to look for a satisfactory ending than a happy ending. A satisfactory ending is a conclusion that resonates with you, that you feel is the natural conclusion of this long story you’ve been reading/watching and brings out an emotional response in you that doesn’t involve disappointment. It makes you say, “I like how this ends.” And it’s much less likely to make you burst out crying because you’re so happy that all has turned out well.

How do you feel about happy endings or satisfactory endings?

What’s your definition of either?

Once again, I’m updating everyone on the various projects I’ve been working on. God knows I’ve got many at various stages of completion. And only God knows why I’ve gotten myself stuck in these crazy projects. It is insane. Well anyway, here’s my updates:

Rose

I’ve just gotten two-thirds of the way through the second draft. I’d say I’ve got about two or three weeks before I’ve finished the draft. After that, I may or may not do a third draft (though I’ve gotten advice throughout the first two drafts, so that feels like a third draft). Once I’ve finished the editing process though, I’ll start the publication process (copyright, cover, what have you). Might get it out later this year or early next year. Either way, it should scare the pants off of people.

Video Rage

I’ve got a lot of people–most of them my family, I’m afraid to say–pissed at me because of the delays in this one. Sorry, my thesis has taken up a lot of my time, so I haven’t been able to devote any energy to Reborn City‘s sequel. However, I plan to get right back into VR as soon as I’m done with Rose. After that, I have a friend who gave me a great amount of help for RC, and after that it’s all publication. Like Rose, I’ll hopefully get this out late this year or early next year. Fingers crossed.

Laura Horn

I still plan to rework and rewrite this book, to make it better than the draft I finished last year. Not sure when I’ll get to it, but hopefully before the year is out. We’ll just have to wait and see.

The Dead and Dying (plus other short stories)

I know I said I’m working on another collection of short stories, but I’ve been busy with…everything and unable to actually do that much collecting. But I plan to get more short stories written after Rose and maybe include them in the collection. I’m still working on that short story involving witches, but it’s taken time to get it right. I’m exacting that way, I want as close to perfection as possible for this story. I might try to take a break with it though, work on some other ones. I have an idea for another witch story that’ll be a bit easier to pull off, so I’ll work on that instead.

Self-Published Authors Helping Other Authors

Got a new article coming out tomorrow morning, a very special one. I’ll write a post and include a link tomorrow. Trust me, it’s going to be great.

 

Well, that’s my updates. I’ll let you guys knows if anything comes up that’s worthy of knowing. And with school ending for me in a little over seven weeks or so, I’m sure there will be plenty of things worthy of posting about, my Followers of Fear. Good night everyone (or if you’re reading this over your morning coffee, good morning).

Otherwise known as a pretty amazing Korean horror film.

I first heard about this film from Rare Horror and was very interested (they’ve turned me onto a couple of interesting films). It took a while, but I finally tracked down and got my hands on a copy of this very strange Korean fantasy/horror film, directed by Yim Pil-sung and starring Chun Jung-myung. I have to say, I’m surprised this one hasn’t been given an American remake yet. It’s definitely the sort of story that makes you think of the success of The Ring or The Grudge.

Hansel and Gretel (or in its Romanized form, Heljelgwa geuretel; don’t ask me for the Hangul, I  don’t know how to get it on this blog) is about a salesman named Eun-soo who has learned that has gone on a trip to visit his sick mother, which may also be an excuse to get away from his girlfriend, who is four weeks pregnant. On the highway he gets into an accident and wakes up in a forest. He meets a young girl who takes Eun-soo to her home, where he meets her parents and her older brother and younger sister. At first glance, they seem like a 1950’s TV family from Korea. But from the moment he arrives, Eun-soo has senses something very strange about the house and the family here, confirmed when the parents up and leave, asking him to watch over the kids. Unable to leave the forest, Eun-soo tries to figure out the mystery of the house and the children and find a way to escape. And when he finally finds out the secret, it’ll change him forever.

This is definitely an interesting film. The sets and cinematography are excellent, like looking at a Christmas tableau with a horror hidden within it (which makes sense, considering Christmas is a running theme in this story). And the acting, especially from the child actors, is amazing. I forgot that these were actors, but thought they were their characters. This film is practically gore-less (yay!), doesn’t have many jump-scares (sad, but whatever), and works hard on building an atmosphere of dread, which works for it (especially if you turn off the lights and watch it in the dark like I did).

There are only two things I don’t like about this film. One is that it’s two hours long and may feel like a drag to people who like fast-paced stories with plenty of jumps and scares.The other is that when we finally find out how this whole creepy thing gets started, it seems a little riddled with cliches. But other than that, it’s a pretty creepy film with lots of dark, fantasy-based beauty. There’s plenty of character development and growth, which can be rare in horror films, and in the end you find yourself being very impressed with this journey you’ve gone on with the character.

I’m giving Hansel and Gretel a 3.5 out of 5. It’s a very strange movie, a lot of fun, and if you get a chance, check it out.  It’s already given me a few ideas for stories, so that’s definitely a good sign. I’ll definitely check out a few more Korean horror films if I can find some. Should be fun and inspiring.

saturation [n]: the act or result of supplying so much of something that no more is wanted.

–courtesy of Merriam Webster Online

Lately Hollywood is all about the franchises. Disney announced recently that they are making a Frozen 2, that they’ve set release dates for a Star Wars spin-off and Episode VIII, and for some reason they’re doing a live-action Dumbo remake. Sony recently announced that alongside the new female-led Ghostbusters reboot they’re making a male led one as well to even things out (because three male-led films vs. one female-led one is true equality), plus a production company to come up with all sorts of Ghostbusters-related stuff, and a Zoolander 2 is on its way as well.

Look, I’m looking forward to some of these sequels and prequels and remakes and reboots and spin-offs and franchises. Try and keep me away from the Poltergeist remake, the new Star Wars episode, and a few other upcoming films. However, I think that all this emphasis on creating major film series and franchises is actually working against Hollywood rather than helping it. I know that place is run by money primarily, with the idea of making memories and memorable films being a far second, and all these mega-franchises has everyone wanting to have their own moneymaker. But to pursue all that without investing in new material, to me anyway, is not smart business practice.

Not that there haven’t been original films this year. Seventh Son, Jupiter Ascending, and Chappie all are original films (one’s based on a novel, but whatever), so studios aren’t totally ignoring original ideas. However, the former two were panned and didn’t do well at the box office, while the latter…well, it did well at the box office, but the critics don’t seem to like it. I didn’t either. And that isn’t good, because it might make movie studios more wary about greenlighting new projects.

Does this seem a little excessive to you?

This means more superhero movies, more film series and franchise, more reboots and remakes and God only knows what else. And that’s likely to continue. The question is, how long will it continue? Marvel and DC have films scheduled through 2019 and 2020 respectively, but will we feel like watching them by that time? Will we feel like we’ve seen these films so many times that it takes something rare to make us enjoy the film, like it is for so many horror fans today? Are we going to reach saturation point soon? And when it does, what will the film industry do?

Luckily, there’s the indie scene, which is producing original and wonderful stories all the time (particularly horror: I Am A Ghost, The Babadook, and the upcoming It Follows, though I haven’t seen that last one yet). And the comedy genre keeps churning out with originals, probably because they know that pulling off sequels are difficult in that genre. There’s a growing number of biopics coming out each year (not exactly original, but not exactly overly done either), and most of the movies nominated for the Oscars each year are meant to be stand-alone films. Maybe we won’t reach saturation too soon.

But if we do, I think we might have enough filmmakers out there who aren’t so concerned with money and sequels, and want just to tell good stories. Heck, I might even join in then: I’ve got a few idea for screenplays, so I might write one too one of these days. We’ll see.

Do you like the way Hollywood is these days? Why or why not?

Do you think we’ll reach saturation point soon? What’ll happen when we do?

Many authors these days start blogs or websites or Facebook pages or Twitter accounts or any of the other five-thousand different forms of social media, hoping that not only will doing so let them connect to potential readers, but these said readers will go out and buy their books. It was certainly my reason for starting this blog: I began a blog in August 2011 in order to build an audience so that by the time I published my first book I might have some readers willing to buy a copy. It’s also the reason why I started a Facebook page and a Twitter account.

Contrary to this popular belief though, having a blog or any of the other things I mentioned doesn’t actually lead to decent book sales. There are numerous reasons for this, but I’d like to quote a friend of mine who recently posted about this on her own blog:

It’s like going to a movie theater and trying to sell your books to the people around you when all they want to do is watch the movie. Even worse, there are other writers in the theater trying to do the same thing you are, so the viewers are not just focused on the movie, they are purposely shutting out everything else. The challenge is to get their attention and make them more interested in you and your book than in the movie.

And like Pat, I’m not really sure how to get people interested in my book rather than the movie. While I’m lucky in that I’ve got a decent amount of followers (thanks for following, by the way!), if I charged for every time someone read one of my posts, I think my readership would be much smaller. My books cost anywhere between one to three dollars (if e-books) and a little under six to thirteen and a half dollars (if paperback). Plus I mainly write horror and science fiction, which don’t appeal to everyone.

Still, those aren’t the main reasons that I don’t make a lot of sales through social media. Other authors have had this problem as well, from romance and erotica authors to masters of mystery to sci-fi and fantasy lords and your literary connoisseurs. Like Pat said, every author is trying to get you to buy their books. I just happen to work in a genre known for its dark and macabre nature.

I think that’s the problem though. So many authors are using social media to promote their books that it’s difficult for any single one to get heard and make a lot of sales. The first few people who used blogs, Facebook, Twitter, and any other platform did make plenty of sales (or so I hear), but so many people have caught on that social media doesn’t sell as much as it promises.

It’s not easy to get sales through social media. But you can try.

 

Still, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be on my blog, let alone Facebook or Twitter. Each author discovers success on their own. I’ve known authors to gain many readers of the books and many more readers on their blogs. It depends on how you go about writing your posts, what you write about, and how you promote it, among other things.

Do I know what those things are? Well…I’m a bit better at writing a terrifying story. I don’t know all the tricks. But I’m learning them here and there. I let my readers know about important updates, what’s going on in my life, my viewpoints on important issues. I often share funny or reading and writing-related photos on my FB page.Most importantly, I let people know when I get a new review on Amazon, and use direct links to Facebook and Twitter in case anyone wants to look.

And it pays off. Literally: I got two tax forms from Amazon–one for paperbacks, the other for e-books–and together it wasn’t too bad. And I’ve only been published for a little over a year and a half!

So maybe social media isn’t the direct way to bestselling novels like it bills itself to be. But with practice, hard work, and a lot of luck, you can do some amazing things through it. #BelieveIt

Do you find social media helpful for selling books? Why or why not?

What tricks do you have for selling books through social media?

I wanted to see this movie in theaters, but the one near my place wasn’t playing it (or it might have but forgot to post it on their website. Believe me, they did that once). So when I got it recently, I was hoping it would break the string of  bad horror films I’ve seen lately. Sadly, Ouija has only become the latest dud on my list. Even the great horror producer Jason Blum couldn’t make this project terrifying. I blame the fact that Michael Bay also produced this film, and most of what he touches blows up in his face, even if it does make tons of money.

Ouija is about a group of teenagers who try to contact their friend after she kills herself using the titular board game. This causes them to get marked by an angry spirit that seems intent on killing them. From there, it’s a race against the clock to stop the spirit before it gets strong enough to kill them all.

This movie’s good on jump scares, but it fails to keep up an atmosphere of suspense and dread, making the movie a long drag towards the end without even gore or sex to try to make up for it all. The acting is passable, though most of the “teens” in this movie look college age or older. Two of the characters are sisters and that’s supposed to mirror the ghost’s relationship with a living relative, but they don’t go into it enough to actually make the connection more than scant at best.

Still, Lin Shaye from the Insidious films and Shelley Hennig from Teen Wolf both have minor roles in this film, so that livens up the film slightly. Slightly.

I’m going to give Ouija a 1.3 out of 5. If you want to see a horror film and tell your friends that even though you’re a scaredy-cat you weren’t scared, this is the perfect film to be the foundation of that lie. I doubt it’ll ruin Ouija boards for enthusiasts of the game, which is something considering Michael Bay’s track record and possibly the one true positive thing to say about this film.

Still, I can’t say it’ll bring anyone joy to know that there’s a sequel in the works. Not surprising, considering that it made nearly a hundred million dollars at the box office and was made on only five million. Let’s hope the sequel will be several years off and direct-to-DVD, right? And in the meantime, I hope a good horror film comes out soon. I could use one!