Archive for the ‘Scary Stuff’ Category

Tigress Lizzy Is Going To Be Published

Posted: July 1, 2015 in Progress Report, Scary Stuff, short story, Writing
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I’m very proud to announce that one of my short stories, “Tigress Lizzy”, is going to be published this October in a very special Halloween anthology. This anthology is going to be published by the same people who published Strange Portals, the anthology I was featured in back in December. I’m very excited that I’m getting published with them again and very grateful that they liked my work so much. I’m looking forward to seeing what they produced this time.

“Tigress Lizzy” can be considered my tribute to Stephen King’s Carrie, which is still one of my favorite works by the author. It’s the story of a teenage girl who’s school life is incredibly difficult, but one day she is offered a gift that allows her to get back at everyone who has hurt her. It’s a dark and bloody work, and like Carrie it shows that when you push someone repeatedly, sometimes you cross a line and release a whole ton of horror.

At this point, the anthology is still being assembled, and it doesn’t have a name or a cover yet. However as my work’s been accepted, I’ll be getting updates regularly and posting them either here on the blog or on my Facebook or Twitter pages. In the meantime, if you’ve got something you think could go into the anthology, you can click here to get the details. They’re accepting submissions till the end of August, so you’ve got some time till then. Good luck!

All for now. I’ve got some writing to do, so I’m going to get to it. Wish me luck, my Followers of Fear!

My Top Villains 2015 #5-1

Posted: June 25, 2015 in Review, Scary Stuff, Writing
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2015: 10-6
2014: 10-6, 5-1
2013: 10-6, 5-1

Well, it’s time for the Top 5 Villains of 2015. These are the baddest of the bad, the freakiest of the freaky, the ones you have to watch out for. Are you ready to take on this list? Then let’s dive in!

A reminder that these villains are fictional and none of them were created by me. Otherwise it’s me taking a swing at politicians I don’t like or plugging me own books.

5. Mary Wells/The Weeping Lady (Sleepy Hollow)

People had some differing opinions on Season 2 of Sleepy Hollow, but honestly I think we can all agree this is one of its best episodes, and one of its most memorable villains. Mary Wells was Ichabod Crane’s fiancee, their marriage arranged for them as children. However while Mary was infatuated and obsessed with Ichabod, the latter only felt brotherly feelings for her. When she died in an accident involving Ichabod’s future wife Katrina, she became a ghost forever weeping for her lost love. When she is raised by Henry, the Horseman of War, to cause chaos, she goes after every woman close to Ichabod, including Katrina and Lieutenant Abby Mills. When she reveals Katrina’s role in her death, it is the wedge that begins the end of the Cranes’ marriage. Sad and spooky, we love this woman, feel for her and can’t get her out of our heads. Her spot on the Top 5 is well-deserved.

4. Annabelle (Annabelle)

I love creepy dolls, but even I would hesitate to have this one in my house. Originally from The Conjuring and based on a real haunted doll, Annabelle was popular enough to get her own prequel movie exploring how she was a woman in a satanic cult who died and possessed a rare collectible doll along with her demon master. The result was that she got the chance to cause chaos for a young family, with the intent to take an innocent soul and send it to Hell. And she nearly succeeds too. Creepy to look at and dangerous to have in your house, Annabelle will inhabit your nightmares for years, which is why she’s Number 4 on this list.

Oh, fun fact: the real Annabelle doll is actually a large Raggedy Ann doll. However the makers of Raggedy Ann (or whoever owns the copyright these days) would never consent to have one of their dolls portrayed in a horror movie like that, so the filmmakers designed a creepy looking doll for the part. And that doll has been creeping us out ever since. Yikes!

3. Ultron (Avengers: Age of Ultron)

Actually more like Couple Days of Ultron, but that’s another story. No matter how long he was around though, Ultron is still a terrifying force to be reckoned with. He seems genial and funny at times, but his humor and reasoning, along with his fascination for religious philosophy, are only a cover for his true sinister nature and his plan to cause an extinction event that will wipe out humanity and allow his clones to take over the Earth. With a silky smooth voice provided by James Spader, you won’t want to be anywhere near him when he starts singing classic Disney songs. Definitely deserving of the Number 3 spot.

2. Isaac Heller/The Author (Once Upon a Time)

Now, if you watch the show you may not think he’s much of a villain. But in actuality he’s definitely real villain material. A wannabe F. Scott Fitzgerald who is chosen to become the chronicler of great adventures through out the many different worlds, he abuses his power and starts directing events, earning himself the punishment of being sealed in his own book. When he escapes, he uses his weak attitude and his power to weasel his way out of any situation, not caring who gets hurt or what has to happen in order for him to receive his fifteen minutes of fame. And the crazy thing is, he still considers himself one of the good guys! Yeah, he does. Even when he traps the residents of Storybrooke in a fiction novel and tries to kill the one guy who escaped, he still thinks he’s a good guy. This sleazy character will justify his actions no matter what, and his spot at Number 2 is perfect for him.

1. Meredith Walker/The Benefactor (Teen Wolf)

Sometimes the greatest villain is someone who is sweet and innocent, but has been influenced by the wrong people. Meredith Walker is a banshee, one who predicts death. Years ago she overheard the thoughts of Peter Hale, one of the show’s recurring villains, where he had an insane plan to kill off the weaker members of Beacon Hills’ supernatural community and remake it in his own image. Meredith, who is already a little unhinged but normally very nice, carries out his plan, paying assassins and hunters to go after the supernatural community. Even worse is she doesn’t think this is wrong, she just thinks she’s doing what she’s supposed to do because Peter implanted the idea in her brain. Only when she realized that she’s caused the deaths of many innocent people and that Peter was more unhinged than her does she regret her actions. Kind and afflicted, Meredith’s turn as a villain was terrifying and stunning and I’m seriously hoping she has a role in Season 5. Bravo Meredith, you’ve earned the top spot.

What are your thoughts on my Top 5 villains this year? Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments below. Tune in next summer for 2016’s Top 10 villains. By then we might have a few new entries or maybe some old ones will resurface. One can only hope.

Until next time, my Followers of Fear!

My Top Villains 2015 #10-6

Posted: June 24, 2015 in Review, Scary Stuff
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2014: 10-6, 5-1
2013: 10-6, 5-1

It’s that time of year again! When I list the top villains who have scared and/or impressed me over the past year. And this time around we’ve got some pretty interesting and unexpected entries on this list. So let’s dive into the first half of the list and see who was the baddest of bad guys this year! Remember, these villains must be fictional and they can’t be any of mine (otherwise it’d just be me plugging my books, and this isn’t where I want to do that).

Honorable mention goes to Dandy Mott from American Horror Story: Freak Show. That guy was a psychotic man-child with a love for attention and a greater love of killing. I’m looking forward to what his actor will be up to next season.

10. The Mummy/The Boneless (Doctor Who)

Yes we have a tie for entry #10! And both from the same show, well done. Appearing in the episodes Mummy on the Orient Express and Flatline, these creatures are scary and mysterious and their spots are well deserved. First, let’s start with The Mummy: an ancient warrior from a long-ago war, the Mummy has since become a legend, a moving skeleton wrapped in bandages who can only be seen by those it targets. They then have 66 seconds to live, during which the Mummy will get them. And kill them. It is a very creepy creature, and the Doctor was only just able to stop it, making Mummy on the Orient Express my favorite episode of that season.

The Boneless, as the Doctor names the species, is a 2-D alien species from another dimension who invade our world with the intention of taking over and becoming three-dimensional as well. The moment they or their energies touches anything, it’s as good as two-dimensional and (if it’s living) it’s dead. Heck, the Doctor nearly dies facing them, which goes to show how much of a force they are to be reckoned with. These unfathomable monsters are simply amazing and terrifying to watch, which is why they go alongside the Mummy to earn the Number 10 spot.

9. Missy/The Mistress (Doctor Who)

Another DW villain, and definitely one of the most lovably bad! If you’re unfamiliar with the show, Missy is the female version of the Master, one of the Doctor’s oldest and greatest enemies (yeah, characters on this show can change their genders). Watching from the shadows, she only reveals herself at the end with a plan to convert the world’s dead into Cybermen and then give the Army to the Doctor. Why? Because she wants to see if she can make him as bad as her! I know, crazy right? But that’s Missy’s charm: she’s playfully mad and wants nothing more than to rope her best friend into some crazy fun scheme, and will do anything bad to get her way. Plus she has an awesome theme song, which makes her spot at Number 9 well deserved.

Okay, I said something nice Missy, please don’t kill me, okay?!

8. Kim Jung-Un (The Interview)

I know, I said fictional villains, but this is a fictional version of the character, so I think I can make an exception. Plus he’s just so funny! In this controversial and provocative movie, Kim Jung-un at firsts comes off as a shy and sweet guy who had a lot of responsibility thrust upon him at a young age and occasionally just wants to rock out to some Katy Perry in a Russian tank. However as you get to know him, you realize that he’s about as nice as sulfuric acid, and that he’s actually quite the sociopathic tyrant. Seeing him go from a crying wreck to having a tantrum to trying to murder the world and then get blown up is well worth watching, and secures his place at Number 8 on the list. So North Korea, please don’t hack me, okay? There are some things the world is not ready to learn about me!

7. The Babadook (The Babadook)

If it’s in a word it’s in a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook. Thus starts the picture book out of Hell, as depicted in this creepy Australian indie. The Babadook is a terrifying reimagining of the boogeyman, a creature that wears a top hat and sticks to the shadow, stalking its victims until it drives them mad and kills them dead. When it sets its eyes on struggling single mom Amelia and her behaviorally-challenged son Samuel, you’ll experience ninety-four minutes of pure terror! And the freakiest part of it is, you can’t tell if the Babadook is a real monster or if it’s all in the heads of the characters! Even all this time later I still can’t tell! Yikes!

6. The Creature (It Follows)

The writer/director of this creepy gem said he based the story on nightmares he had as a child. Indeed, the Creature is nightmarish. Only seen by those affected by the curse and able to take any form, the Creature delivers a promise: that no matter how long it takes, no matter how far you go, it’ll follow you. It will find you. And it will kill you, one way or another. And this promise is delivered to everyone affected by the curse, going from the latest victim and heading down the line to the beginning of the curse. We don’t know why, but to say the least, the how of it is enough to make us all stay away from one night stands forever.

 

Like the list? Have any thoughts? Let me know in the comments! And join me for the Top 5 later on, when we’ll see who 2015’s Baddest of the Bad are! Until next time!

Review: “Prince Lestat” by Anne Rice

Posted: June 21, 2015 in Novel, Review, Scary Stuff
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My crazy, busy life finally gave me time to read the continuation of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, so I downloaded it to my Kindle at the first opportunity and started reading. And it was awesome, and shows that even over a decade later and after a fad of sparkly vamps that many wish had never surfaced, Anne Rice and her vampire characters, particularly that rascal Lestat, can still tell a mesmerizing and heart-pounding story.

In Prince Lestat, the vampires have proliferated all over the world and the vampire world is in chaos. There is a need for the Children of Darkness to come together, and Lestat’s name has been floated as someone who could lead the change. Of course, the Brat Prince, between wandering in isolation and trying to figure out his iPhone, would rather not have that sort of responsibility thrust upon him. That is, until a horrific tragedy, worse than when Akasha rose from her sleep, strikes the global vampire community, and Lestat may be the one to put an end to this cataclysm, whether he wants to or not.

The book starts out with a quick guide to the world of the Vampire Chronicles (perfect if you’re like me and you haven’t read the books in a number of years) before sliding into the story. And at once, you are transported by Anne Rice’s storytelling, which is poetic, prosaic, melodic, sometimes erotic, and a few other -ics all at the same time. It’s wonderful seeing all these characters again and how they’ve changed over the years, and meeting a few new ones who impress themselves upon your hearts almost immediately.

The plot is also fun, exciting and mysterious, with each twist and revelation making you pause to take it in. And it’s interesting to read how the vampires have adjusted to the Internet Age. Some have adjusted quite well: Benji Mahmoud from The Vampire Armand has his own Internet radio show, which has become like a staple of vampire culture in this day and age. Others, like Lestat…well, you saw my summary above.

It’s also interesting to see some of the evolutions taking place in Rice’s style. In previous reviews of her books, I’ve mentioned how she’s incorporated science into her books where before she’s preferred to use magic and the supernatural. In Prince Lestat, she brings science into the story through two new characters who act as vampire doctors and scientists with the goal of studying vampires. You read that right, she has vampire scientists! Not what I expected either, considering how many vampires have been or are musicians or patricians or artists or whatnot. They and their work are a fun twist in the whole saga that lead to some interesting plot points, as well as making the reader rethink the whole series through their perspective.

There’s much more I could say about the book, but I’ll wrap up by saying that if Anne Rice is looking to write a whole new series of vampire books, she’s done a great job launching it with Prince Lestat. As magical as any of the other books, with enough characters to make you think you’re having a reunion with old friends and a plot that not only is intriguing and holds up on its own but with an ending that sets up for future books, which from what I hear we can look forward to.

On a scale of 1 to 5, I’m giving Prince Lestat a perfect score of 5. It’s a moving cannonball back into an intriguing universe, and I cannot wait to find out what happens in Blood Paradise when it comes out.

And I wouldn’t mind another werewolf novel. And I would really like to know what happens next to Toby O’Dare, so when can we expect the next book in the Songs of the Seraphim series? Just asking.

Character Depth in Horror Stories

Posted: June 21, 2015 in Reflections, Scary Stuff, Writing
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Last night as I was dropping off to sleep and feeling happy about setting up that new blog of mine (thanks to everyone who’s already signed up to follow that, by the way), my mind started to wander, as it usually does right before I fall asleep. This time around my mind went to horror stories (yeah, it does that quite often too), and I started to ponder character depth and development in horror stories. At some point I realized that in horror, you often have either characters who are very well-rounded and developed, or you have characters that are little more than archetypes, e.g. the Skeptical Dad, the Final Girl, The Psychic Child, The Expert, etc. And you know what else I realized, what made me get up out of bed and write this revelation down before I fell asleep and forgot? Sometimes these stories require different level of character development, depending on what the story is.

Let me explain. In certain scary stories, such as Stephen King’s The Shining (the book, not that poorly adapted Kubrick film), the characters are more than just archetypes and we get to know them very well. This is because their inner conflicts are just as important to the story as is the outer conflicts happening with the hotel. Jack Torrance is trying to keep his cool and be a good husband and father for his family after so many screw ups, while also fending off his desire to drink and the mental assaults of the hotel. His wife Wendy is trying to keep her family together while also keeping an eye on Jack in case he reverts to bad habits. And Danny, psychic and wise beyond his years, is trying to stay strong and endure the hotel’s attempts to kill him because he knows a lot is riding on his father taking care of the hotel through the winter. How they react to situations and grow as characters is just as important as what is happening within the hotel, so King makes sure they are well-developed.

Part of the terror (in the book, anyway), comes from the conflicts these characters wrestle with inside themselves as well as the ones the hotel sends them.

Meanwhile other stories don’t need as much character development. Take Insidious 3, for example (yes, I’m using the third entry in a horror film series, but bear with me). Besides main character Elise Rainier, most of the characters in the film do not get much character development. In the Brenner family, who are experiencing all these supernatural happenings, you don’t see much beyond the roles they play in the story: Quinn is a pretty girl with dreams of acting and is being victimized by a spirit, her dad Sean is the scatter-brained parent trying to keep his family together through grief and tragedy, and the annoying younger brother Alex is…well, the annoying younger brother. Despite not getting a lot of characterization though, these three characters do actually get some growth in the story: Quinn’s car accident and the spirit attacking her causes her, her brother, and her father to get out of their own little worlds and come together as a family to save Quinn’s life.

And of course, there are those stories that require little or no characterization or growth at all. This is common in slasher films, where the characters are often reduced to archetypes or roles (anyone who’s seen Cabin in the Woods knows what I’m talking about). This also happens in a short story I had an idea for recently (and that I might write as soon as I finish editing Video Rage). In this story, I decided that I wouldn’t spend time going over why the protagonist’s younger brother is a bratty kid or why the antagonists are as freaky as they are. The reason I decided this is because the events of the story are where the terror and intrigue come from, not from any inner growth. This is usually the case with slasher films as well: the events of the story are where we get our terror and excitement from, so more attention is pointed towards telling the story than going over any inner conflicts of the characters.

Half the fun of this show is seeing these two interact with each other.

What I’m driving at here is that how much character development is required from a story depends a lot on where the excitement and fear is coming from and how essential developing a character is in order to keep a reader or viewer invested in the story. In the case of a Nightmare on Elm Street film or the story I mentioned above, we’re reading or seeing the story because we know that the story’s events is where we’re going to get the excitement we paid to read/see. In the case of stories like The Shining or most episodes of Hannibal though, a major reason why we’re investing time into the story is because of the characters, not just what’s happening around them. This is especially so in Hannibal, because most of the conflicts and intrigue comes from the characters, their psychological states, and how they play against one another. We’re there not just because Hannibal Lecter is a famous and charismatic serial killer, we’re also there because we like seeing how Will Graham’s relationship with Lecter changes and evolves over time.

And knowing how much to balance of these two elements–character development and story-focus–is very important. Look at the remake of Poltergeist that came out recently. It was an awful film, and one of the many problems it had was that they tried to insert character development near the beginning of the film and failed miserably. Early on it focused on the dad losing his job and trying to find a new one, as well as mentioned something about the wife being a writer. I think the filmmakers were trying to translate this into an arc where the family tries to stay together and come together through rough circumstances, but ultimately the whole thread of the dad looking for a job and the parents trying to keep the family together fails to really get resolved or come together and ends up feeling unnecessary to the story. You’d think that it would just be enough to say the dad got promoted or transferred or a new job and leave it at that!

So whether it’s a zombie flick, a novel about a haunted house, or a psychological horror TV show, knowing the balance between character development and story-focus is just as important as creating a memorable and creepy villain or writing the story in such a way so that the story actually remains scary rather than goofy or just plain stupid (*cough* Friday the 13th remake *cough*). If you do, you’re more likely to write a good story worth remembering than you are to write garbage that horror fans sift through trying to find a nugget of gold.

I’ll certainly keep the balance in mind with the next story I write.

The Big Birthday Sale!

Posted: June 10, 2015 in Living and Life, Novel, Scary Stuff, short story, Writing
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22 years ago, a powerful being of a higher plane burst forth out of its hellish home with the purpose of spreading terror and chaos to the world. It found a human host and came forth from her, bringing insanity wherever it went and making things interesting at parties. This being, known by a thousand names in just as many worlds and cultures, became known in this one as Rami Ungar the Writer.

At least, that’s how I like to tell the story of my birth. It’s better than the one my mother tells, anyway.

But back on point. Today’s my 22nd birthday, and I’m celebrating it by giving a gift to you, my Followers of Fear. From today, June 10th, to Sunday June 14th, all my published works–The Quiet Game, Reborn City, and Snake–will be available at marked down prices or–in the case of the e-book versions–free of charge! And you’ll be able to get them all from Amazon or Smashwords (reminder that Smashwords only does e-books).

All my books, on sale through Sunday

All my books, on sale through Sunday

In case you’re not really familiar with my works, I’ve included descriptions of each book along with the links below. I hope you like what you read and decide to check out one of my books for your reading pleasure. And if you do decide to get one or more of my published works, I hope once you read them you’ll be kind enough to let me know what you think, either in a review or just a comment on a blog post. Positive or negative, I love feedback. It helps me improve the stories I write so that more people get entertaining and thrilling books.

Well, that’s all for now everyone. I’m off to do some writing and try out a new hobby and if I get a chance later today I’ll write another post. Until then, have fun at the sale, my Followers of Fear! And happy reading!

The Quiet Game: Five Tales To Chill Your Bones
Are you ready to face your own inner demons? Or perhaps you are ready to face the dybbuk’s wrath. Maybe you’ll even jump into the lady ogre’s den. And if you’re brave enough, you may end up in the deadliest game of all, a game where if you die, no one will hear you scream. In his debut published work, Rami Ungar takes you through five terrifying tales of darkness, suspense and fear. Get ready to play The Quiet Game.
Amazon link
Smashwords link

Reborn City
When Zahara Bakur moves to the gambling town of Reborn City, she finds her life flipped upside down when her parents are killed in a hate crime and she is forced to join the interracial street gang the Hydras. From the start this gang is different. Its leaders, including the silent and stern Rip, all have powers that defy imagination. And as Zahara becomes closer to the leaders, she becomes aware of a shadowy government organization that has a sinister interest in the Hydras. It will take all that Zahara has to make sure she and her new friends make it out alive of Reborn City, and the choice she makes will affect not only her, but maybe the world itself.
Amazon link
Smashwords link

Snake
How far would you go for love and revenge? When a young man loses the love of his life and afterwards witnesses a horrific murder, he descends into insanity and decides to hunt down the men who took his lover away from him. Styling himself as the Snake, he goes after New York’s most powerful mafia family, and he won’t stop till he finds his love and makes the monsters who took her pay. Even if that means becoming a monster worse than the ones he is hunting.
Amazon link
Smashwords link

Villain Songs

Posted: June 8, 2015 in Living and Life, Reflections, Scary Stuff, Writing
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It goes without saying, I love villains. They’re often the most memorable part of a story or among the most memorable parts. Everyone recognizes the killer clown from Stephen King’s IT or Dr. Lecter tied up and wearing a mask in Silence of the Lambs. And in certain musicals, when they have a song about the villain, it can become the best part of the entire show. In fact, in some cases it’s the only good part of some musicals.

I guess I’m a little obsessed with villain songs, particularly “In the Dark of the Night” from the movie Anastasia (perhaps the only good part of an expensive Disney rip-off) and “Be Prepared” from The Lion King. I’ve even written my own villain song about me as a horror writer called “Eater of Fear” (boy, would I love to get that thing produced into an actual musical track) and I came up with an idea for a short story involving a villain song. And I’m not the only one. You’ll find plenty of people who like villain songs and even create lists for them (you can find examples of other people’s lists here, here, and here).

What’s with the love of villain songs? Well, I can think of several reasons. One is that everyone likes a catchy song. It’s part of the reason why we can’t get some of Taylor Swift or Carly Rae Jepsen’s songs out of our heads sometimes (I’ve been there more than once). Villain songs are among the catchiest because they are often used to explain the plans or motivations of the villains, so a lot of thought is put into making the lyrics and tune exciting while explaining these plans/motivations. It’s a lot more fun than you’re average monologue about the villain’s plans or beliefs, right? Nobody downloads those on their iPods!

Tell me you weren’t wiggling a little in your seat when Dr. Facilier started doing this fun little song and dance.

 

Another reason is that–and this is my own opinion, but I think it has merit–most people want to indulge in their dark side every now and then, they want to have a little fun being evil. How many times have we wished we could get revenge on our bosses or on that nasty kid on the playground? Probably a lot, but we don’t because most of us are good people who would never do something so horrid or we’re afraid of the consequences. A villain song is a sort of trip to the dark side. You get to indulge in being bad and have fun singing about it. And when the song is over, what’s the worst that comes back to haunt you? Maybe someone sees you singing and goes to warn somebody else, but that might be it. Usually, the song ends and we move onto the next part of the story.

In addition, villain songs are packed with dark visuals. Even non-fans of horror like the dark and the creepy every now and then, they just don’t like being assaulted with it in the books or movies or shows they read or watch. No, they prefer to dip their toes, and a villain song is a perfect way to do it. If you’ve ever watched “Hellfire” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame or “Be Prepared”, you know they’ve got some arresting visuals. The former has some freaky Gothic and hellish imagery, the latter has freaking Nazi hyenas marching in front of Fuhrer Scar. It’s kind of creepy, it stays with you, and it’s a lot of fun to watch.

Anyone who didn’t find this scene a little chilling is either lying or possibly has ties to dangerous organizations or groups.

 

These and a bunch of other reasons could be why villain songs resonate with us so much as an audience. Whether it’s because we love a villain, indulging safely in our dark side, or we just like a catchy tune, villain songs are just a ton of fun and as long as people are writing musicals, they’re bound to show up again and again in our shows and, if they’re good, in our consciousnesses.

Do you have a thing for villain songs? Which are your favorite? And why do you think they tend to stick in people’s minds so much?

Oh, just a reminder that my Big Birthday Sale is in 2 days. From June 10th to June 14th, all my titles–The Quiet Game, Reborn City, and Snake–will be marked down or, in the case of the e-books, free to download from Amazon and Smashwords. So if you’re looking for something new to read and want to get it at a good price, this might be the opportunity for you. Get excited, because it’s coming soon!

That’ll be all for now, Followers of Fear. I’ve got to go and sing some “Eater of Fear” in my head. Have a good one.

Review: Insidious Chapter 3

Posted: June 5, 2015 in Review, Scary Stuff
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It wasn’t a dud! It wasn’t a dud! IT WASN’T A DUD!!!

Sorry, had to get that off my chest. I’ve seen so many bad horror films lately, it felt necessary to shout praise of a good one. And I’m not surprised that this one is so good. Leigh Whannell, James Wan, Jason Blum, and Oren Peli all worked together on this film. These guys are known for great, scary films, so when they come together you know you’ve got something worth getting excited for.

The third chapter in the Insidious saga takes place a few years before the events of the first two films. Quinn Brenner, played by Stephanie Scott, believes she’s being contacted by her dead mother, and encourages this contact. This tragically leads to a car accident that breaks both Quinn’s legs and puts her at the mercy of the spirit after her, The Man Who Can’t Breathe. At the same time, Elise Rainier, the medium from the first two movies, reappears to try and help Quinn, while facing her own darkness and a loss that has made her afraid to do what she does best.

There’s a lot to be said on this film, so I’ll try and keep it to the things I think everyone should know before going to see this one. First, the actors all handle their roles very well. Scott, along with Dermot Mulroney and Tate Berney as her harried father and annoying preteen brother, have great chemistry as a family crippled by a devastating loss and pulled together again by the dark events surrounding them. Best of all though is Lin Shaye as Elise, whose personal journey to recover her confidence is extraordinary and heart-wrenching. I almost cheered in the theater when she had finally regained her former airy manner from the first two films. Plus it’s fun to see her first interactions with Specs and Tucker and how they formed the team we met in the first film.

And speaking of the first film, there’s a notable change between Insidious 3 and its predecessors. In the first two films, they built a mythology based around astral projections and the realms of the dead (aka the Further), but Chapter 3 seems to eschew that mythology for the most part in favor of creating a good old-fashioned ghost story, and a great one too. The suspense is powerful, the atmosphere tense and the creepiness of the whole movie, coupled with the amazing visuals and sets, the jump-scares and the screeching violins in the background music, will keep you on the edge of your seat throughout the movie.

Creepiest of all, of course, is the villain, The Man Who Can’t Breathe. Honestly, even when you see him fully in the light near the end of the movie, he’s still one of the freakiest looking villains I’ve seen in recent memory. What makes him even scarier than his appearance is that you’re not sure exactly why he’s menacing this girl or where he came from. There’s mention of him living in Quinn’s building long ago, and something about “pets” is also mentioned, but we’re never really sure what his reasons are. And that just adds to the horror factor here.

There are only two major complaints I have with this movie. One is that the character of Hector, the lovestruck boy-next-door, seems like he was going to be a bigger part of this movie than he was. Were most of his scenes cut for time? That, and I feel that the climax was a little cliched and a little too short to be truly frightening, though the ending makes up for that. Other than that, I had a really good time.

All in all, I’m giving Insidious Chapter 3 a 4.3 out of 5. A scary good movie that’s put out of my mind all the bad horror films I’ve seen lately and make me want to tiptoe through the tulips with terrified glee. And if the critics and the box office agrees with me, I think we can expect a Chapter 4 someday. And you know what? Even if it might be a little unnecessary (ah horror, the original junkie for unnecessary movie sequels), I might just be okay with that.

8 Problems Horror Fans Have That Nobody Else Gets

Posted: May 26, 2015 in Living and Life, Scary Stuff
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I’ve mentioned it before, but being a fan of horror (let alone a writer of horror) can be very difficult sometimes. We’re not even in the Top 10 Most Popular Genres. We might be in the Top 20…I think. Such is the fate of a group that likes to be scared, when most people would rather avoid the feeling of having something evil and murderous lurking over your shoulders. Because of that, I thought I’d make a list of problems that is mostly unique to the horror genre. Here it is for your humor edification.

1. You’re not dangerous or creepy, you’re actually well adjusted. For some reason the popular image of horror fans is that we’re a dark, moody bunch who got bullied a lot as kids and we’re just looking for the opportunity to get our revenge on the world in the most depraved of ways. Why does anyone think that? Is it because we like movies where serial killers find half-naked girls in the woods, throw them against trees, and then cut them in half?

I don’t know. But if I’m anything to go by, I’m not that image. True, I was bullied a bit when I was younger, but it definitely didn’t affect me that badly! People tell me I’m a funny and really nice kind of guy whom they generally like. And most other fans I know are good people, we just like a good ghost story or slasher flick on the weekends rather than the latest Sandra Bullock comedy or have a fantasy football league. I mean, some of us do those things as well, but we also like to shout “Redrum” when we’re angry or go see Slipknot when we’re in concert. It’s just how we roll.

2. It’s hard to get people to go to the movies with you. Is there a new Avengers flick out? You’ll probably find someone to go with you by simply sending a text message. Comedy or romance film? If no one in your immediate social circle is available, chances are someone at the office will go with you. Horror movie? Yeah, unless your date or your friend is super brave or tolerant of scary stuff, you’ll be sitting in that theater alone for the most part. I speak from experience.

And speaking of which…

3. You can’t make people see why Cary Fukunaga’s departure from the new adaptation of IT is such a disaster. In case you didn’t know, Fukunaga, who’s directed True Detective among other things, was set to direct a two-part adaptation of the Stephen King classic. Sadly he split after he and New Line couldn’t see eye-to-eye over certain aspects. To which many say, “NOOOO! Why?” Most people just assume we’re being drama queens, especially since there’s already an adaptation of IT out there that scared them as children.

Really not scary.

Really not scary.

Yeah, as children. Truth be told, you watch it again, it’s a crappy adaptation, sanitized for TV audiences and with so much changed from the original story fans of the novel are left with a bad taste in their mouths. And Tim Curry as Pennywise the Clown isn’t even that terrifying. Mostly he just laughs at a distance and talks about making corpses float. The kids are never shown in real danger. I’ve seen scarier things in a college final (for more reasons why the IT TV miniseries sucks, watch this review by the Nostalgia Critic and laugh yourself silly at how you ever thought this could be scary).

So naturally, we were hoping that we would get the adaptation IT deserves. Without Fukunaga, it’s about as dead as a corpse floating in a sewer, and we’re all disappointed.

Hey, maybe I did make you see why Fukunaga’s leaving is such a disaster. Go me!

4. You can’t wear your horror fan badge with pride on first dates. Horror fans do date, and a lot of us have great relationships and families. However, declaring you’re a horror fan on the first date and several subsequent dates is like romantic suicide. People assume that, if you’re male, you’re some wannabe serial killer creep who spends too much time peeping on girls, looking at graphic porn, and practicing killing in a dark and moldy basement. If you’re female, they think you were one of those goth girls in high school whom nobody got along with and who has anger and break-up issues.

Like I pointed out above, we’re not. Most of us stay out of those basements, get along with plenty of different people, and would never dream of hurting anyone. Not as if we can point that out on the first date though. Maybe pull out a Stephen King novel when you start staying over at one another’s places, and that’ll signal that you like to dip into terror every now and then. After a few more sleepovers or whatever and the books consistently stay scary, they’ll realize that yes, you like horror, but you’re not going to hobble them with an axe or mallet and chain them to a bed in your house.

As you can see, Halloween's a big deal for me.

As you can see, Halloween’s a big deal for me.

5. Halloween is more than just a single day of the year for you. No, it’s an entire freaking month, and a lot goes into it. You want the perfect scary costume, the perfect creepy decorations. You have to decide what scary movies coming out you’re going to see, what scary movies you’re going to revisit on DVD, what books you’re going to read. You’re going to want to discuss how the new season of American Horror Story is doing leading up to the two Halloween episodes. And you’re going to want to find the perfect party to show off your Halloween love.

You see, Halloween for us is kind of like how moms treat their daughters when they enter beauty pageants for children. We want to show the world how good we are, we want it done right, and you all better cooperate with us and with our zeal for this or there will be plenty of hell to pay! Happy Halloween, bitches! You just try and beat me at my own game!

6. Our love of metal is probably much healthier than being a fan of Justin Bieber. Again, we’re back on that negative image. Most horror fans have a pretty wide-ranging taste for music. Stephen King’s a rock fan, and I have an eclectic mix of J-Pop to classical on my iPod. Yes, I like metal too and so do a lot of other people, but it’s all just fun. We’re not actually looking to submit to Satan or in danger of turning into gunmen. Most metal artists are apparently pretty decent people when you meet them too. They have normal lives like you or me, they just are good at reaching our inner angst through music. It’s much better than listening to an overgrown toddler still going through puberty and acting like a total idiot when he’s not on tour, anyway.

7. It’s hard to discuss serial killers, fictional or real, in the company of others. I learned this the hard way, and to this day I still wish I’d shut my mouth before it made people give me stares. Sorry if I’m a little passionate about explaining how Ed Gein helped inspire Hannibal Lecter, Norman Bates, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. You’re the one who asked if that last one really was based on anything real.

 

8. Most importantly, we go to great lengths to find gold in a pile of shit. I mean that metaphorically, of course. But it applies so well. There’s a lot of horrible horror novels and films out there, and horror fans will go to great lengths to find a film if they think it’ll be interesting to watch, much more than fans of other genres. Fear for us is like a drug, and we’ll try the gamut of bad films if it’ll give us the high we’re looking for. And even if we get a couple of bad ones, it’s well worth it when we find a really awesome one that scares us to our core.

Like Fukunaga’s IT would’ve been. And now I’m sad.

~~~

If anything, this post is meant to show you that horror fans are normal people, just like you or bronies. Are we perfect? No. Are some of our interests very macabre? Yes. Have I been to a morgue? Once or twice, but in the long run, does it really prove anything? Not really. It just shows, like everyone else, we’re all a little different and have our own special quirks.

So the next time you meet a horror fan, do us all a favor. Don’t discuss serial killers with us until we know you better. Instead, talk about the IT adaptation we wish we had and about how hard it is to get a good scare these days. Or the economy, that works just as well.

Was there any particular problems about being a horror fan that I missed?

Do any of these items stand out to you at all?

Review: Poltergeist (2015)

Posted: May 22, 2015 in Review, Scary Stuff
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I’m going to tell you right now, I’m a little disappointed with this film. That might be because I hyped myself over this film due to the trailer being so awesome. However, I think a lot of it was because…well, it was a bad film. Not kidding. There was a little girl in the audience, I thought she was brave for coming to see this. She didn’t need to be brave. It just wasn’t scary.

I should’ve known a Poltergeist remake wouldn’t be good.

We all know the story, so I don’t think anyone will mind if I spoil this movie. If you don’t know the Poltergeist story, then spoilers ahead, and I wonder what rock you’ve been living under. Basically the filmmakers decided that since almost everyone knows the story about a family moving into a haunted house and the cute, innocent kid being abducted by the dead and her family having to go after her, they’d just update it for 2015, change some minor details, and throw the mythology at the audience, who will hopefully find it scary. Really, they would’ve done better going in a new direction, which Insidious did with a new mythology and some slight twists on the familiar formula, adding atmosphere, mystery, and surprise to scare us to death.

Here, like I said, they just throw the mythology at the audience. We’re drowned in it so that we  aren’t scared at all and the moments that actually halfway close to being scary were either included in the trailer and don’t have the same impact, or the sense of danger is just not there. For instance, there’s a moment with a power drill that could’ve been very scary, but the way it’s done you just know things will turn out fine before it does.

The thing about the original Poltergeist was that it took its time. It slowly built up the strangeness and horror and helped us wade into a mythology that would be expanded in the later two films. Here, the filmmakers are so concerned about paying homage to the original film that they rush us into it and pay homage to all that made the original scary in ways that just don’t terrify. “Look here!” “Here’s this reference!” That’s literally what they do.

Another thing is the humor in this movie. They try and insert humor at various times in the movie, and while humor in horror does help in some horror stories in-between terrifying moments, the ones here are all at the wrong places and seemed forced. They’re only barely funny. I think they would’ve done better not to insert humor at all the wrong places and instead try and expand on the character development of these barely-developed characters. Maybe show how the dad is trying to be a good provider even though he’s jobless and refuses to allow his wife to get a job and then show how he fixes that?

Also, why does the the little boy have a sink in his attic bedroom? There’s no bathroom up there, so why’s there a sink? Is it an unfinished bathroom or something? And I don’t care how much wiggle room there is on a house in a neighborhood with plenty of foreclosures and that was built on a cemetery. You don’t buy a freaking huge house like that when you have no steady income! Move into an apartment until you can find something better! You’ll avoid the ghosts too!

There are some good points to this film though. The few variations they make from the original are inventive and interesting, and the scene in the afterlife is much more visually interesting and creepy than the weird green screen effect they had in 1986’s Poltergeist II. And I like how the movie incorporates the ghost-hunting field and how some ghost hunters have become famous through reality TV. As a fan of some of those shows, I had a little laugh at that. Plus I don’t think this version has a curse on it (unless the curse either left the movie alone because it was so bad or it made the movie bad, in which case it’s a very intelligent curse we’ve got here).*

But other than that, not much going for this film. Even the “They’re here” falls flat where it should soar, which is just sad. On a scale of 1 to 5, I’m giving the Poltergeist remake a failing grade of 1.4. It’s almost as bad as the Friday the 13th remake. Almost as bad. Poltergeist wasn’t ruined by Michael Bay, and it didn’t use sex to try and utterly fail to liven things up (which is good, because two of the main female characters are under the age of 18).

All for now, my Followers of Fear. I’m signing off for the night. Let’s hope I find a good horror film next time around. I’ve gotten so many duds lately.

*If you didn’t know, the original Poltergeist is supposedly cursed because during one scene it cost too much to make fake skeletons and instead they used real ones dug up from actual graves. Between the first and third films, several members of the cast and others associated with the film died strange and/or violent deaths. Well, if you let monetary considerations overshadow your respect for the dead, you have to expect some sort of karmic backlash. Too bad it came down on the ones who didn’t deserve it.

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