Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

Wow, how quickly a month can go by. Are we already in December? Hold on, let me check outside….yes, it’s December. The chill and decorations confirm it!

Anyway, if you don’t remember, early last month I released my Christmas short story, “The Wild Hunt,” as an ebook from the major retailers. Originally published in Hellbound Books’ 2023 anthology Happy Hellidays, the story follows two sisters who run away on Christmas Eve, only to encounter something ancient and mythical in a blizzard. And no, they did not encounter Krampus. There are enough Krampus stories out there to begin with!

Anyway, during this past month, several people have taken an interest in this little story. In fact, it’s been a bestseller in some of Amazon’s subcategory lists, and a few people have even been kind enough to leave reviews! Considering it was kind of a whim to release this story as an ebook, this is more than I could have asked for.

Then again, writing the story in the first place was kind of a whim. I simply desired to contribute to the number of Christmas stories and songs written by Jews. But not only was it published, but people really enjoyed it and even put it on the Bram Stoker Recommended Reading List for that year. So, I guess these whims do turn out some good results every now and again.

Anyway, because I feel obligated to share them, here are the reviews people have been leaving for “The Wild Hunt:”

I felt the cold wind. I felt the biting pain of the snow on Tatum’s exposed face. I thought at any moment the girls’ father would track them down. This is a Christmas story, right? So maybe Santa would come rescue them.

I won’t say exactly what happens, but Ungar cleverly combines Santa with the Wild Hunt legend. So creative, so unexpected, and so Ungar-like. Loved it!

Priscilla Bettis, Amazon

This story is weighty in its themes and definitely not for the faint of heart. That said, it’s pretty fast-paced and has some creative mythology-inspired monsters. If you like having a quick read, this is worth the purchase.

Rose Black, Kobo

It’s always fun to see how an author will work on something familiar in the horror genre. In this case, it’s the wild hunt where mythical creatures are out there, hunting. This was a fun and enjoyable read that is nice for the Christmas season.

Ruth Ann Nordin, Amazon

Incredible, aren’t they? I’m happy so many people enjoyed the story enough to leave their thoughts. And I’m glad they all find it so creative! In a world where nothing under the sun is truly original, that is truly a compliment.

Speaking of which, it’s the holiday season. So, if you’re looking for a Christmas horror story, “The Wild Hunt” might be a good place to start. After all, it’s got Christmas spirit, and some terrifying spirits as well. Plus, it’s a short and affordable read, which is always nice. I’ll include links below.

And if you like what you read, I would be delighted if you left a review. Positive or negative, I love reader feedback, and it helps both me and other readers out in the long-run.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’ll be sure to get back with you very soon (probably with my annual reflection of the past year and hopes for the coming year). But until then, good night, pleasant nightmares, and watch out for Krampus. His big day is on Friday!

Halloween has passed. Outside my condo, the decorations down. Meanwhile, the music stations and the big box stores are putting up the Christmas trees and the tinsel. People are planning their Turkey Day celebrations as preludes for the holiday season. What’s a horror author who basically lives every day as if it’s Halloween to do?

Simple: get in on it!

Some of you may recall two years ago a short story of mine was published in the anthology “Happy Hellidays” from Hellbound Books. The short story, called “The Wild Hunt,” followed two sisters who run away from home on Christmas Eve and come across a group out of ancient myth. I wrote the story because I wanted to follow in the tradition of Jews adding to Christmas music and literature,, though obviously it was a horror story. And, because Krampus stories have been done to death, I decided to focus my story on The Wild Hunt, a mythical group of supernatural hunters, monsters and spirits from legend and mythology.

Now, I decided to release the story as an ebook. It’s been a while since I released a single story like this, and I heard Christmas stories are enjoyed year round, so I thought, “Why the heck not?” Thus, I had a cover commissioned, and put the story out.

Here is the blurb that I’m using for the story:

“Happy Hellidays” from Hellbound Books, where “The Wild Hunt” was first published.

Tatum and Mia have lived under the oppressive thumb of their abusive father for years. But when their father threatens to separate the two sisters, Tatum makes the risky decision to run away on Christmas Eve and take her sister with her. But the blizzard raging isn’t the only danger out there this Christmas Eve. Something ancient and powerful is riding through the blizzard tonight. An army of hunters out of myth and legend.
Will these mythical hunters be the sisters’ salvation? Or their doom?

If you’re at all interested, I’ll leave links below so you can check the story out. It’s a short story, after all, so it should be a quick read, and I remember people really enjoying the story at the time it came out. So, if you decide to check it out, I’m sure you’ll love it.

(Please be aware due to a mistake with the setup on Apple Books, it won’t be available there till Wednesday, November 5th. However, it is available for preorder there.)

And if you end up reading it, I hope you’ll leave a review. Positive or negative, I love reader feedback, and it helps both me and your fellow readers out in the long run.

Now, if anyone needs me, I had a long day and I might be getting sick, so I’m going to go indulge in some self-care. I just wanted to make sure people knew this story was available to read this holiday season.

So until next time, my Followers of Fear, good night, pleasant nightmares, and have a lovely holiday season.

The mythological Wild Hunt, and the inspiration for this forthcoming tale.

Followers of Fear, there’s so much going on in my writing career beyond just Hannah and the Face of Horror contest that I can’t share with you yet, but which I want to so badly. Thankfully, I can now share one thing with you: one of my short stories is getting published!

Back in March, I wrote a Christmas horror story called “The Hunting Party,” which I hoped to start submitting around the time holiday anthologies started seeking submissions. Well, I edited the story and renamed it “The Wild Hunt,” and then submitted it to Hellbound Books for consideration in their upcoming anthology Happy Hellidays.

As you can tell from the title of this post, it’s now going to be published in said anthology. And I cannot wait for you to read it!

Taking place at Christmas Eve, “The Wild Hunt” follows two sisters who have a fateful encounter with the Wild Hunt, a mythical band of riders who travel the sky at night. According to some, this band gets quite powerful around Christmas.

You know, Followers of Fear, I really didn’t think I’d be able to get this story a home. Or at least, not so easily. I mean, I thought it was great, but it’s long for a short story at 7,300 words and I worried that the ending might be a bit too sweet and happy, even for horror. Even a rewrite of the ending didn’t calm my worries.

But on the first try, “The Wild Hunt” was accepted. And to be in an anthology from Hellbound Books, no less! It’s an honor.

Not to mention, I’m kind of tickled that, as a Jew, I get to add a Christmas horror story to the world. Feels kind of like a variation on a theme, seeing as my people wrote some of your favorite Christmas carols last century. Yeah, that’s true. Look it up. You’ll never look at carols the same way again.

Anyway, I look forward to letting you know when Happy Hellidays, and thus “The Wild Hunt,” is released. It’s a great story, and I hope it fills you with Christmas fear–I mean, cheer. And I can’t wait to tell you all the other good news out there I’m celebrating. With any luck, I may be able to reveal it all in the coming weeks and days.

For now, though, my Followers of Fear, I’ve edits to make and emails to write. Until next time, good night, pleasant nightmares, and Merry Christmas come early!


Couple of quick notes: as you know, Halloween is currently fifty days away and Hannah and Other Stories releases in just twelve days. Why not prepare for the former by reading the latter? Hannah and Other Stories, my new collection of short stories, is perfect Halloween reading, with tales of ghosts, budding serial killers, and carnivorous horses, among other things. You can preorder a copy from any of the links below.

Second, I’m currently participating in the Face of Horror contest. I don’t expect to win, but I’m working hard to keep myself in the competition for as long as possible. If you would like to help, you can cast a daily vote for me on my profile page using the button below. Do that, and I might survive a few rounds. Hell, I might even win! Wouldn’t that be nice?

Once more, my Followers of Fear, good night and pleasant nightmares!

Well, I’m feeling pretty good. Tired, but good.

As many of you know, I’ve been caught up in editing a bunch of stories, both for my upcoming collection Hannah and Other Stories, and others I hope to submit to various publications and magazines. For all the obvious reasons, I’ve been calling this the Great Editing, and it’s been a lot! I think I’ve edited about six stories by now, and that was just in the first two months of 2023.

Needing a break, I decided to write some new stories. Sure, they’d become part of the Great Editing at some point, but it just feels good to work on new stuff sometimes. Anyway, I wrote “The Hunting Party,” a Christmas horror story (you can read all about that here), and I just finished “Mother of Spiders,” a novelette set in the 1950s and about a town whose history comes back to bite them in the worst way: with eight legs and some scary fangs!

Yeah, it’s a spider-based horror story. I did say in previous posts that this story would tap into a common phobia, after all. And I think the overall concept of the story is good.

That being said, I really struggled with this story at times. Not because I didn’t know where it was going, because I’m an obsessive plotter. I always know where my stories are going. I think it was just finding the right words for the story and figuring out how to convey it. That was a struggle, and it wasn’t until the final scene of the story that I really felt like the story was flowing out of me. I have a feeling that when I edit this one, it’s going to take several drafts before I can start submitting it for publication. And most of it will just be figuring out how to better tell this story.

But hey, it’s a good sign when you recognize your own story’s shortcomings and are already thinking of ways to improve the story. Hopefully that means when I get around to the second draft, I’ll be prepared to turn this story into something worth reading.

For now though, I think I’m ready to get back to the Great Editing. Let’s face it, the number of stories requiring my attention have only grown since I started my break, and I want to get at least one or two out of the way before the next draft of Hannah lands in my inbox. I’ll start with “The Hunting Party,” because there are a couple of Christmas anthologies already looking for stories and I want to submit this one before they fill up. Then I’m going to get into the third draft of “They Sleep Within the Rock,” AKA the novella where I put neo-Nazis through some well-deserved hell. After that, if it isn’t time to work on Hannah again, I have a few stories to choose from.

For now though, I’m going to chill the rest of the weekend. I have some scary movies from the library, so I think I’ll have a double feature before bed. So, until next time, my Followers of Fear, good night and pleasant nightmares. And if I don’t catch you before Passover starts this Wednesday, may the matzo monster get you and ruin your digestive system with more cracker-like bread than you could ever want to eat.

Cheers!

The Wild Hunt, the major inspiration for this story.

Glad I got it done in March than maybe in June or July. The Great Editing, am I right? Keeps me so busy!

Anyway, as I said in a previous post, I took a break from all that editing so I could get some new stories written before all that editing drove me mad. Well, madder than usual. You know what I mean. The point is, I took a break, and this past Wednesday started on a new short horror story set on Christmas Eve. Yeah, I know I’m Jewish, but I can write a Christmas horror story like everyone else.

And no, this story, which I’m calling “The Hunting Party,” doesn’t involve Krampus or another evil Santa Claus variant. I love the character, but he’s already been done to the point publishers are starting to get tired of seeing him. Instead, I decided to base this story on the Wild Hunt. For those of you unfamiliar, the Wild Hunt is a mythical band or horde of ghostly riders that travel at night, flying through the air as they hunt whatever crosses their path. There are many variations of the Hunt throughout Europe and even beyond, and depending on where you are can be made up of different leaders, riders, spirits and reasons why they ride. It’s a fun motif to work with.

And some versions of the Wild Hunt, as well as some of their leaders, are said to be most powerful around the Christmas season. In fact, some versions are led by Odin, who himself is speculated to be an influence on the modern depiction of Santa Claus. You can see why it lends itself well to Christmas stories, including one written by me.

As for “The Hunting Party,” I’m going to start sending it out to a beta reader or two as soon as I can find one. It’s about 7,400 words long, so I hope neither their suggestions or my attempts to improve the story end in the story getting too much longer. Yeah, the publisher I hope to send it too allows stories up to ten-thousand words or more, but I’d feel more confident if this story didn’t get that long.

As for what’s next, I already know what story I’m going to work on next. It’s going to make you shudder in horror, it involves a common phobia, and takes place at Halloween. I do not write enough stories set at Halloween. The last one I did ended up a trunk novel. Hopefully this one finds a home.

For now though, I’m making a late dinner and watching a movie before hitting the hay. I have a crazy week ahead of me, so I’m going to need all the rest I can get. Wish me luck.

And until next time, my Followers of Fear, good night, pleasant nightmares, and Merry Christmas! May nothing bloodthirsty come down your chimney (or otherwise enter your home if you don’t have a chimney).

Occasionally in fiction writing, you create characters you find utterly repulsive. Maybe it’s their personality, maybe it’s what they do or believe in, but these characters are VILE.

And surprisingly, writing them well is kind of challenging. I should know. I’m working on a story now where I hate most of the characters. Why? I’ll get into that a little later.

(Though if you’ve been paying attention to my Facebook posts or Twitter feed, you might already know why.)

The thing is, while you may hate the character you’ve created, you can’t let that hate show too much in your writing. You have to treat them like you would any other character. Showing your contempt may be easy, but the reader may notice. And while they may agree with you, they will be turned off by the clear aversion and disdain coming off the page, especially if it’s a protagonist. “Why even bother writing this character if you’re going to make it so obvious you don’t like them?” That might be what goes through their minds. Instead, write them like you would a character you like.

A good example of this is how Vladimir Nabokov treats Humbert Humbert in the novel Lolita. In an interview, Nabokov stated he found Humbert a hateful person for obvious reasons. But he didn’t show his dislike for the character and his predilections in the story. Instead, he writes the novel normally and let’s the readers come to hate him by his actions.

That’s something to keep in mind. Instead of showing your disdain for a vile character, let their actions do the work for you. You can do a lot just by showing a cruel teacher depriving a kid of ice cream or a prison warden manipulating his prisoners to attack each other, rather than by describing them as nasty pieces of shit.

Dolores Umbridge. A great example of a vile character.

You can then supplement that by showing other characters’ reactions to the hated characters for being assholes. JK Rowling, despite her faults, did this quite well when Harry and his friends described characters like Umbridge or Pansy Parkinson and focused on their negative traits. Rowling famously hates those characters, by the way, and made sure they suffered or didn’t get happily-ever-afters in the end.

What if you have to show things through the perspective of the hated character, however? Well, that’s where it can get queasy to write them. Because, as much as you might hate them, you’ll often have to write them as any other character. For instance, l’m writing characters who are neo-Nazis.

Yeah, you read that right. The story I’m working on now is full of neo-Nazis, people who would gladly see me dead for being Jewish (among other things). And I am writing them as I would most other characters. I could write them and focus on their hatred and nasty ideology, and in another story I could get away with that. But for this story, I can’t let them just be stock characters or stereotypes, much as I want to. Instead, I’m trying to show the reader how the characters might see the world. And let’s face it, neo-Nazis are people, and they’re as complicated as any other character. So I should try to write them that way.

That being said, I am going to show just how horrible these people and their toxic ideology can be. And then I’ll take great pleasure in showing what horrors occur to them later in the story. Hey, I’m a Jewish horror author who loves visiting terrors upon his enemies. What do you expect?

So, writing characters you consider vile is more than just making them hateful or showing how much you hate them. It’s a combination of actions, character description, and even writing them in a complex manner. And, of course, making sure they get what’s coming to them if it fits the story. It may make you feel sick to write them that way, but it can also lead to a good story becoming that much better.


On an unrelated note, the anthology I’m helping to produce, That Which Cannot Be Undone, is closing in on forty percent funded on Kickstarter! Not only that, but we’ve added a whole bunch of new perks and have announced some new authors joining the project as well. Some of those authors have even volunteered to name characters after backers and kill them off in style should they back certain limited pledges. Isn’t that cool? You could be a character in another author’s story!

If that, and helping our group produce a kickass horror anthology featuring new stories from me and my friends, you can check out the campaign by clicking the link below.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/crackedskullproject1/that-which-cannot-be-undone-an-ohio-horror-anthology

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. For those who celebrate, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. If you need me, I’ll be joining my friend John McClane at Nakatomi Tower for Nakatomi Corp’s annual Christmas party. I hear they tend to go out with a bang every year.

Until next time, Happy Holidays and pleasant nightmares!

Around November, stores across the world start putting out tinsel and cute little bulbs and emphasize snow and sleighs and candy canes.* At the same time, Christmas music is played from most loudspeakers and many radio stations, one of those songs being “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams (yeah, I didn’t know who sang that until today, either). And many people would agree. The two months leading up to Christmas, especially December, is the most wonderful time of the year.

However, there is a segment of the population who disagrees with that sentiment. Among that segment are people, and whatever I am, who say Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year. And since I don’t have a singing voice to advocate our views, I’ll do what I do best and write out why the Halloween season, starting anywhere from late August to early September and ending when October becomes November, should be considered the most wonderful time of the year.**

1. Halloween isn’t as cold. Okay, that’s probably not true south of the equator, but at least October isn’t as freezing in most places as it is in November. In fact, in Central Ohio, it can range from the 40’s to the 60’s (we have weird-ass weather). Whereas in December, it’s usually between 30 and 40 degrees Fahrenheit. And that’s in a good year.

2. A stalker isn’t part of the central theme of Halloween. No, I’m not talking about Michael Myers. I’m talking about Santa Claus. I mean, think about it. You have an old guy in a red tracksuit watching you 24/7, but especially right before Christmas, and is judging your behavior. If you “behave,” you get gifts, but if you don’t, you get fossil fuels. Also, he can break into anyone’s home and we have no idea how well his workforce is treated. If this was any other person, they would be hit with investigations and possible criminal charges.

At least with Halloween, a little naughtiness is okay. It’s even encouraged. “Trick or treat,” after all.

3. There’s no need to be “perfect,” “well off,” or “good.” For a lot of people, Christmas is a time to show just how perfect your family is, or how pretty you can make your house look, or how deserving of gifts you are. A lot of people spend more money than they should just to show people they can have the “perfect” Christmas, or suck up their dislike of a disagreeable family member so as not to “ruin” Christmas, or give more to charity because “tis the season.” Shouldn’t the season to help the needy be all year? Not just when gifts are on the horizon?

Though if you are giving to charity during the Christmas season, good on you. Thanks for helping out the less fortunate.

At least with Halloween, you don’t have to go all out. A simple bedsheet with eye holes is a wonderful costume. A bag of penny candy is just fine. And if you gather donations to UNICEF, it’s not because “tis the season,” but just a nice thing to do.

Speaking of costumes…

4. Be whoever you want to be. Halloween is about changing who you are into who you want to be for a day. A princess, a vampire, a soldier, a superhero, it’s all up to you and what costume you buy or create. Or don’t. That’s valid as well. There’s no pressure, just as long as you’re having fun. Want to be a little macabre? Go right ahead. Want to just emphasize the pagan roots of the holiday? Perfectly fine. Just want to have a wild costume party to celebrate fun and monsters and changing your identity for one day? Go get ’em, cowboy! It’s your holiday, and as long as nobody’s getting hurt, you’re answerable to no one.

Again, during Christmas, a lot of people feel like they need to project a certain image of “perfection” or “being good.” Otherwise, your or others might believe you’ve done something wrong, or the season is ruined. I think of the mother from the movie Krampus a lot with this point. She’s dead-set on everything being “perfect” to the point she invites relatives over whom she and her own family don’t really like and comes up with all these complicated foods that nobody really asked for, just to maintain this image of a “perfect” Christmas in her mind.

Has that ever happened with Halloween? As long as you have fun, that’s all that matters.

Jack Skellington had one thing right: Santa Claus is scarier than at first glance.

5. So many reasons to get scared! Of course, for those like me, this is one of the biggest reasons. Horror movies, horror novels, haunted houses, music, costumes, parties and games. At Halloween, there’s so many reasons to get scared and have fun with it. The number of scary things to do at this time of year is endless. Whereas at Christmas, beyond either Black Christmas film, Gremlins and Krampus, there aren’t that many horror-related things associated with the holiday. Maybe a Christmas episode for a horror show, but beyond that, it’ not a holiday to indulge in anything scarier than fossil fuels from everyone’s tracksuit-wearing stalker. And to me, that’s a damn shame.

 

Now, this is just a small fraction of reasons why I prefer the Halloween season to the Christmas season. There’s probably a part two or three that could be written. But tell me, which season do you prefer? Why? Are there are any reasons I missed? Let’s discuss.

Just keep it civil in the comments, folks. Or I will delete your comment and then write you into a story.

*I think. I have no idea what Christmas looks like below the equator beyond the fact that it’s summer down there in December.

**That being said, I’m not trying to put down anyone who thinks Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. I’m not trying to wage war on Christmas or anything like that. I’m just representing an opposing opinion. That’s not the sign of moral decay or an anti-American or anti-Christian persecution. Having a spirited but civil disagreement where both parties respect each other’s views is the sign of a healthy and thriving society. If you feel Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, that’s okay with me. Just let me continue feeling that the Halloween season is the most wonderful time of the year in the meantime.

You know, I’ve written a lot about my identity on this blog. Or rather, because every person is highly multifaceted and puts themselves under several labels (even when they eschew all labels), my identities: writer; horror fan; bisexual man; autistic individual and disability advocate; total nerd; Ohio State Buckeye; feminist; liberal; possible entity from another dimension; and many more. But there’s one identity I’m only realizing now that, while I’ve mentioned it more than a few times on this blog, I’ve never really gone into detail about it in relation to my life and my writing. Not in six-plus years of blogging (believe me, I checked).

Considering that I was not only raised Jewish, but raised Jewish by two rabbi parents, went to synagogue nearly every weekend for years, went to Jewish day school from fourth grade through high school, attended youth groups and summer camps, was a frequent attendee at the Ohio State Hillel, and a whole bunch of other things than is listed in this run-on sentence, that is weird. And I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t really ever gone into detail about it. Maybe I thought I’d covered it in one of my 1300+ blog posts at some point, or maybe I just thought it wasn’t important enough to cover at any point. I have no idea.

Well, I guess better now than never (especially since this is my blog and you’re all hostages to whatever I feel like writing each day). How does Judaism affect my life and my writing?

Well for my life, it affects a lot. I’m more spiritual than religious, like many millennials, but I still practice certain rituals. I keep kosher and eat vegetarian when I’m out. I bring in Shabbat every week, and light candles on Hanukkah (you like the picture of my menorah? I’ve had it since I was a kid). I have a mezuzah on my door frame that marks my apartment as Jewish, and the only jewelry I wear is Jewish in theme (Jew-elry, if you will). I don’t attend services at my synagogue that much (I tend to sleep in on Saturdays because the week drains me. Sue me), but I pray often and keep in touch with friends through social media and hanging out. I’ve been to and support Israel, though at times the words and actions of its government concerns me. I pay attention to how my people are portrayed in the news and popular culture (I get seriously annoyed by how most Jews on TV and movies are like, “We’re like the rest of you, we just say some funny words and talk about our health issues a lot.” Seriously, we’re more diverse than that!), and get really psyched when I find stuff on it that educate people about our beliefs:

No need to post that video. I just like spreading it around. Especially since so many people know what Christmas is but so few outside the Tribe know what Hanukkah is.

So Judaism does affect my life. Does it affect my writing?

Well, yes and no. I don’t write what’s known as typical “Jewish literature,” which in my experience is usually about Jewish characters dealing with persecution from non-Jews or dealing with their Jewish faith and identities. I know my dad wished I would write those sorts of stories when I was younger, probably because he was afraid I’d be the next Ted Bundy if I kept reading and writing Stephen King-style horror, but that sort of story never interested me (thankfully, he’s come to like my fiction as is). I do feature Jewish characters in my work on occasion (my Lovecraftian short story “The Red Bursts,” which I’m trying to get published, features a gay Jewish couple who are active in their synagogue), but their religious background isn’t usually a big part of the story. Their are stories I’ve written or plan to write where Jewish characters are featured prominently, and where their background can be emphasized, but like I said, they’re not a huge focus in my fiction as a whole. I like telling a scary story first and foremost.

But my Jewish identity does feature throughout my fiction in a different way. Like every author, I insert my worldview, my morals and beliefs into my stories, and a good lot of that is shaped by Judaism, especially this phrase by one of Judaism’s greatest scholars: “Love thy neighbor. All the rest is commentary.” It’s why I like to use diverse casts in my stories, not just Jewish characters. People unlike me are my neighbors as well as those like me, so I give them all a fair shot in my stories. And this is just one of many ways I emphasize my faith in my writing (I’d go into it a bit deeper, but this article is getting long).

So yeah, my faith is still very important to me. And it even shows up a little in my stories. It may not show up overtly in my stories, but it does show up in the subtext. And for my particular style, that works pretty well. It might even get me somewhere as a writer someday. One can only hope.

That’s all for now, Followers of Fear. Until next time, pleasant nightmares.

It’s Friday again, so you know what that means. It’s #FirstLineFriday! And since today is Christmas, I wonder if I should a Christmas edition #FirstLineFriday or be a typical Jew and say, “Bah, humbug.” Hmm…okay, I’ll do a Christmas edition. Just as long as I still get visited by three ghosts.

Alright, for those of you who don’t know the rules of #FirstLineFriday, here they are:

  • You write a post on your own blog titled #FirstLineFriday, hashtag and all.
  • You explain the rules like I’m doing now.
  • You post the first one or two lines of a potential story, a story-in-progress, or a completed or published story.
  • You ask your readers for feedback.

Like I said, I’m doing a Christmas edition. Speaking of which, can you imagine a Christmas story from me? A Jewish horror writer? God, that story would probably not just be scary, it would probably make you rethink the holiday a little.

Well, I do have an idea for a Christmas-themed novelette written down somewhere, and here’s what the opening would probably be like. Enjoy:

Rob swore that if Chrissy didn’t calm down and shut up, he was going to smack her hard enough to knock her into the New Year. And he didn’t give a damn who saw him do it.

Thoughts? Errors? Let’s discuss.

Well, that’s all for now. For all my Christian readers, I wish you a Merry Christmas. For the rest of us…at least we get a really awesome Christmas Special from Doctor Who every year, right? And the movie theaters and Chinese restaurants are open (yeah, that’s a Jewish stereotype that’s actually true), so at least we’re not stuck in the house. Oh, and it’s still very pretty around this time of year, so that’s a plus. See? There’s always a silver lining.

Anyway, have a good weekend my Followers of Fear. I hope to have some good news out this Sunday, so be on the lookout for that. Also be on the lookout for Krampus, I hear he’s punishing bad kids this year.

Until next time!

I’ve been wanting to see this movie for months, and this evening I got the chance. Let me tell you, it was everything I’d hoped it would be.

Now, if you’re unfamiliar with the Krampus story, let me do some background: Krampus is a being whose origin dates back to ancient pagan beliefs, and he’s particularly well-known in central and northern Europe. While St. Nicholas is supposed to reward good children, Krampus would punish the bad children. Normally portrayed as a big, hairy demon with horns, he would leave coal, hit the bad kids with birch twigs, and/or drag the kids to wherever Krampus hangs out the rest of the year, depending on who you ask. On December 6th each year, plenty of cities and towns have Krampus Night, where people dress up as Krampus and have a parade chasing people around the town (sounds like fun).

In this movie, Krampus is summoned when a family loses the Christmas spirit, and proceeds to abduct each one of them to take them to the underworld. And let me tell you, from the very beginning, when you see an entire superstore torn apart by shoppers desperate for Christmas gifts, to the twist ending, Krampus is just excellent. It’s so well-written, with the writers (one of whom is the director and also directed the Halloween cult classic Trick ‘r Treat) taking us through a comedy film that manages to do all the horror tropes but remain funny throughout without being too obvious or self-referential. There’s never a dull moment, keeping your attention glued to the screen no matter what’s happening. The actors are also great, with most of them seeming like they’re either being themselves or playing around rather than doing any real acting, and just adds to the fun of the movie.

My favorite part of the film is the visuals, Krampus goes all out to make this the most visually interesting film ever. Except for the CGI gingerbread monsters (yes, there’s that in this movie), the monsters are all done with make-up and animatronics and actors. To say the least, they are terrifying, but what’s really interesting is that so many of them look like they’re pretending to be people in costumes instead of actual monsters. I’m not sure if that’s part of the humor or if that’s some sort of commentary on the Christmas season, but I like it. And I still would probably hide from these monsters if they showed up at my door on Christmas (thank God I’m Jewish).

Another thing I loved about Krampus is how it finds so many ways to make fun of the Christmas season. From the opening sequence’s critique of the commercialization of the holiday to the family’s interaction’s with each other to showcase how little time we actually devote to being nice and generous around these holidays, this movie finds all sorts of way to point out what’s wrong with the Christmas season. And maybe it’s because as a Jew I find the Christmas hype a little annoying at times, but I just love every second of it. And if you’ve ever been annoyed with how people treat Christmas or act around this time of year, you will love it too.

The one critique I would give this film is that when we finally get a good look at Krampus, he’s actually not that intimidating. He looks like someone took a Father Christmas costume, stuck on horns, lots of fur and chains, and added really bad teeth to the mask, looking more like that old rat Nicodemus from The Secret of NIMH than an actual demon. And maybe that’s because the other monsters are just so scary that the filmmakers decided to make Krampus look a little comical, but I would’ve preferred it they actually made him a bit more terrifying.

Overall though, this is a very fun movie. Is it something that’ll become a staple at Christmastime? Maybe not, but I think that the film has enough going for it that we’ll find good reason to revisit it every December. Especially if we want to remind ourselves how not to act around Christmas, or if we want to imagine certain politicians we dislike getting a visit from Krampus (I can think of about three or four right now).

On a scale of 1 to 5, I’m giving Krampus a 4.6. It’s funny, memorable, and reminds you what this season is really all about. Go check it out and have a good laugh.