Author Archive

Video Rage: Two-Year Publishing Anniversary

Posted: June 1, 2018 in Living and Life, Novel, Writing
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Video Rage, Book 2 of the Reborn City series

So as I promised in my last post, I have another post out today. And this one is a special one. Two years ago today, I published Video Rage, the second book in my Reborn City series.

If you’re not familiar with the Reborn City series, it’s a science fiction trilogy that I started writing back in high school. The story follows street gangs living in a dystopian future, in particular a gang called the Hydras whose leaders have very unique abilities. The novels explore themes such as prejudice and self-fulfilling prophecies, gang violence and drug addiction, and overcoming the expectations of others and of yourself. I published the first book, Reborn City, back in November 2013, and the second book, Video Rage, came out on June 1st, 2016, right before I started working in my current position.

While the books only have a very small following, those who’ve read them have had very enthusiastic things to say. Here’s are some of the reviews for Reborn City:

It’s a neat exercise in trying to see through the eyes of someone different from oneself. It incorporated a lot of fly comic-book-esque tropes. A good beginning effort of an up an coming new author who has some cool ideas to explore.

–Amazon Customer

This is not a genre I typically delve into, but I took this book on vacation and couldn’t put it down. The plot had me turning pages at quite the clip. The characters were unique and interesting and the imagery had me creating my own visual of what Rami’s interpretation of the future looked like. For first time novelist, Rami Ungar, this was an outstanding showing of talent and commitment to his passion of writing. Looking forward to seeing what he comes up with next!
–MU
This was really a page-turner; I was hooked from the start and read it in a day. While not perfect, this is an auspicious debut novel from a good author. I look forward to reading the rest of the books in this series when they come out!
–Josh M
And while it doesn’t have as many reviews, Video Rage has also received a warm reception:

From what I understand, this is book 2 in a series. That being said, I had expected a cliffhanger of an ending. I’m not a fan of cliffhangers, but in this particular book, I think the author did an excellent job of finding the balance between making the story stand complete within itself while ending the story on a note that let you know another book was coming. Personally, the ending was one of the most intriguing ones I’d read in a long time. It didn’t leave you to figure it out for yourself (which is something I hate). The author let you know what was happening and why while leaving enough to be answered in a future book.

That all being said, the overall book was an enjoyable read. I especially liked that a former bad guy turned things around and redeemed himself. Those types of characters are one of my favorites. I had hoped in Reborn City (Reborn City series Book 1) that he would, and it was very satisfying to see that fulfilled. I also liked the underlying theme in the novel that what the media tells people through the major outlets is slanted by government agendas. In this book, it was up to the main characters to find an alternative way of getting the truth out.

I think this book is best read after reading Reborn City (Book 1) because it really helped to have the background on the characters, and I think this book is far more effective if you have the foundation Book 1 gives you. The science fiction geek in me really loves the genetic aspect. And so that I don’t spoil anything, I will say the real bad guy in this series does a nice twist in this book along that line.

–Ruth
I was really looking forward to the continued journey of the Hydras and Rami was able to produce. Zahara is my favorite character and her development from an insecure girl into a strong woman came out clearly in this book. Some other character development was really unexpected but the book moves at such a fast pace that it didn’t hold me up at all. The story line is quite imaginative and, as usual, there isn’t much predictability there. I think that is what draws the reader in – you just need to keep going to find out what weird twists and turns happen next! Looking forward to continuing this journey with Rami and the Hydras.
–Michele

Reborn City, Book 1 of the Reborn City series.

If any of this has piqued your curiosity, I’ll post the links for the books below. Please check them out if you’re interested. And if you do end up reading them, please let me know what you think. Email, blog comment, review online, I’d love to hear your feedback, positive or negative.
That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’ll probably have another post out tomorrow. Until next time, happy reading and pleasant nightmares.
Reborn City: 

Available on Amazon, Createspace, Barnes & Noble, iBooks, Smashwords, and Kobo

Video Rage:

Available from Amazon, Kindle, Createspace, Barnes & Noble, iBooks, Smashwords, and Kobo

Rose: Good News on the Revision Process

Posted: June 1, 2018 in Living and Life, Novel, Progress Report, Reflections, Writing
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Before I give you the news I hope you’re all eager to hear–the latest on my novel Rose, which is to be published by Castrum Press–I want to first share something I was told recently. Now, I’m not sure if this is true and I haven’t been able to find any corroborating evidence, but according to someone I talked to online, in the first draft of Carrie by Stephen King, Carrie actually grew horns and sent bolts of electricity from her eyes at some point in the story. This was later dropped during the revision process of the novel.

Okay first off, I kind of want to see that version of Carrie, not just in book form but in movie form as well (I still maintain that the 2013 film is the superior adaptation, and you know the horns and lightning bolts would’ve looked awesome in that film). Second, it shows that even King’s works, including one of his greatest, require extensive revisions. And that made me feel a whole lot better about the revisions I have to do for my own story.

Now, if you’re unfamiliar with Rose, it’s a novel I’ve been working on since my senior year of college, when I wrote it as my thesis project. It follows a young woman who finds herself turning into a plant creature (and that’s just the start of her problems).

I’ve mentioned before that my publisher asked me to do nix the many flashback sequences in Rose, essentially throwing out one-third of the book, and another third that was dependent on that first third. Although I was understandably more than a little disappointed about that, and it even brought my mood down quite a bit at times, I decided to try and find a new direction for the story that didn’t rely so heavily on flashbacks. Somehow, after a lot of head-scratching and extensive use of a method of brainstorming I’ve been wanting to try for a while (I’ll write an article about it for Self-Published Authors Helping Other Authors soon enough), I managed to find a new direction and plot for Rose that I thought made for a good supernatural thriller.

I sent a new outline for the story to my publisher, and just today they got back to me. I was really worried that they might not like the new direction, but the tone of the email was really enthusiastic. They just asked me to keep in mind some things about chapter length and a few other things, and wished me luck.

I can’t tell you what reading that feedback did for my confidence. The closest I can get to is by saying that it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

And since I’m on vacation for the first third of June (not going anywhere, I’m just having a relaxing stay-cation at home), now is the perfect time for me to get back to work on Rose. I plan on getting through at least the first seven chapters of the novel, and then start on the new material for the novel. All that, along with more than a few blog posts I’ve been wanting/meaning to write for a while, and of course the normal stuff one does while on vacation (sleep, watch TV & movies, read, hang out with family and friends, run errands, have tea and scones with a succubus you’ve been seeing on another plane of reality, etc.), should keep me pleasantly occupied during my vacation.

So as you can see, Rose is still coming along. It may take some time, but I still think we can get the book out before it starts to turn chilly again (though in my state, that can happen even in summer). And I think when I get it done and on the shelves, it’ll surprise more than a few people. Especially those who’ve read earlier versions of the story.

That’s all until morning, my Followers of Fear (got another post I need to work on after I’ve gotten my much-needed sleep). Until then, pleasant nightmares. I’ll see you soon.

Thoughts on a Creepypasta Anthology and Creepypasta in General

Posted: May 30, 2018 in Reflections, Review, Scary Stuff, Writing
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My copy of “The Creepypasta Collection,” as edited by MrCreepyPasta

A couple of years ago while I was in Germany, I became acquainted with a growing genre of horror known as creepypasta. Creepypasta, for those of you who are unfamiliar, are horror stories, images, videos, music and games that originate on the Internet and are meant to be spread around as memes. Sort of like viral Internet-born campfire ghost stories (see my original post from 2015 if you’d like a more in-depth explanation).

While I had to end my acquaintance with the genre rather abruptly (job searching and then landing a busy full-time job, as well as trying to write my own stories, doesn’t leave that much time for perusing the Internet for horror stories), I never forgot about this strange world of creators making and sharing these scary stories, sharing characters and creating entire mythologies out of some of them (Slender Man, anyone?). So when I found out there was actually a couple of anthologies of creepypasta available in book format, which meant I could read them on my lunch break, I decided to get a copy and dive in to see back in.

What did I find?

Well, like every anthology I’ve ever read, there were some stories that spoke to me more than others. A few I didn’t find that scary at all, but others definitely filled me with that feeling I get from good horror, and even set my imagination alight at times. There are writers in that anthology who would and have done well writing commercial fiction (in fact, some of the contributors listed in the back of the book have published or self-published stories). My favorites in the collection were “When Dusk Falls on Hadley Township” by TW Grim, which reminded me of a Stephen King short story; “Smile.Montana” by Aaron Shotwell, featuring the infamous creepypasta character Smile Dog; “Bedtime” by Michael Whitehouse, a classic of creepypasta fiction that really got my imagination going; and my top favorite, “She Beneath the Tree” by Michael Marks, a Lovecraftian tale that I loved from start to finish.

So yeah, if you’re curious, you should give the collection a read. 4.5 out of 5. As the cover promises, these are stories you can’t unread. And I’m not sure you’d want to.

But I found more than just stories in this collection. I also noticed some things about the genre, especially the pieces in the anthology, that showed me just how different they were from more “mainstream” horror stories. For one thing, the narration in the stories struck me as being more…realist in nature. Not like Realist fiction, which is set entirely around stories that happen in the real world, but like they really believed that the things they depicted in their stories could actually happen. In a lot of horror fiction, even by the greatest writers out there, you get the sense that, except for maybe stories involving serial killers, the authors don’t really believe that what they’re writing about could happen. But creepypasta writers seem to feel the opposite. I got the sense, even with some of the more supernatural or strange stories, that the authors really believed that what was happening in their stories could happen in the real world, and treated it as such. And this shown through especially with the first-person narrators.

When something like Smile Dog can be treated as if it’s real, you know you’re reading something different.

This is something I really admire in creepypasta, because it just gives these stories another layer and gives them the power to really make you wonder if some of what happens in these creepypastas could happen. Some of my own stories are based on my own beliefs of what could be out there, and I like to think that gives them this quality of strange realism to them. Seeing that quality brought out so well with these stories is a great guide for me personally as a writer, so I’m glad I exposed myself to them.

Another thing about this anthology is that it made me realize something: the creators of creepypasta are not too different from self-published and hybrid authors. The latter try to recreate the quality and success of books published by traditional presses without having to go through all the hoops that come with the traditional method and presses. They’re trying a new way to achieve an old goal. And a major component of this is through the Internet to reach readers and advertise. Basically, to spread the word.

Similarly, creepypasta creators are trying to recreate something as well. When I called creepypasta viral Internet-born campfire ghost stories, that was a really apt description. They’re recreating the feeling of telling scary stories around a campfire, and spread it farther than any campfire could. And their chosen medium, the Internet, is perfect for that. Spoken word can be used on the Internet, but so can the written word, images, video, music and so much more. They use the Internet to advertise terror as well as any self-published/hybrid author can to advertise their books. Is it any wonder that one can so transition easily into the other?

Overall, I’m glad I took this dive back into the world of creepypasta. It opened my eyes to things that I’d never realized before, gave me ideas for stories, and caused my respect for creepypasta creators to grow immensely. And while I may never write true creepypasta, I can see creepypasta-esque stories or ideas infiltrating my future work. Just like creepypasta, you never know until it happens. And by then, it’s likely too late.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I’d love to talk a bit more on the subject, but a hole in the fabric of reality has appeared in the fabric of my carpet, so that either means something really pleasant, or something really bad. I’m going to go find out.

Until next time, pleasant nightmares!

1,000 Followers!!! Thank You So Much!!!

Posted: May 28, 2018 in Living and Life, Progress Report, Reflections, Writing
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I was really eager to publish this earlier, but I felt like the #Cockygate issue deserved more attention, so I wrote about that first. That being said, I’m so happy to announce that I’ve finally reached a thousand followers on my blog!

And, oh my God! I have no idea where to begin talking about this. I mean, I’ve been writing this blog for nearly seven years, through school and job-searching and travels and working and ups and downs and so much more. And yesterday, during the tail end of a family thing, I just got a notification. Someone had decided to be my one-thousandth follower, even if they didn’t know it. The feeling of surprise was enough that I didn’t know how to respond (especially considering my family and I were trying to get somewhere while in the midst of a huge crowd). I’m still not sure how to respond.

Well, I guess the best way to respond would be to do the polite thing and say, thank you. Thank you to every one of you who has followed me for these nearly seven years. A big reason why I’ve been able to make it this far, in blogging and writing in general, is because I’ve had the support of so many people, especially the many people who’ve followed my blog over the years and have become this group I love to call the Followers of Fear. You’ve been there for me, encouraged me when I needed it, discussed with me issues ranging from the mechanics of writing to the simple day-to-day life to questions of right and wrong, and so much more. Some of you have even become good friends to me, and a few of you I’ve even had the pleasure of meeting offline. One of my earliest followers/friends even introduced me to my publisher, which I’m so incredibly grateful. And some of you even read my books when they’re published, which means a great deal to me. Hopefully you’ll want to read Rose as well when that comes out.

So thank you to all of you who’ve subscribed to my blog over the years. It means the world to me. And an especially big thank you to Bette A. Stevens, Maine Author, who was the thousandth follower to subscribe. Thank you so much for signing on, Ms. Stevens. I checked out your blog just now, and it is very colorful and lovely. I hope you and everyone else reading my blog enjoy my posts for ages to come.

I wish I had something else for you guys. I don’t really have a contest or anything like that prepared. I’m planning on doing one for Rose when that comes out, but nothing for this particular event. However, I’d instead like to hear from you. There are a thousand from you now, and I only regularly interact with a small fraction of you. So tell me, whether you’re a frequent commenter or just someone who hasn’t had much to say, who are you? How are you? What do you blog about? What do you like about my blog? What’s exciting going on in your life? Please tell me, I’m very curious to know.

Well, that’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. Thanks again for following me, and I hope I continue to give you quality reading material for ages to come. Until next time, pleasant nightmares.

#Cockygate: The Awful Saga Continues

Posted: May 28, 2018 in Living and Life, Progress Report, Reflections, Social Activism, Writing
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I wasn’t planning on writing another post about this subject, but I got so many updates about the subject, I felt I should chime in. And I would’ve published this post earlier, but I had a family thing to attend, so that took up a bit of time. Well, no time like the present. Let’s talk Cockygate.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, or don’t have time to read my last post on the subject, let me give a bit of background: Faleena Hopkins is a romance author who writes a series of books called the Cocky Brothers series (though apparently it’s gone by several names in the past). Recently she applied for a trademark for the word “cocky,” with somehow got approved by the Patent & Trademark Office. Technically speaking, this only allows her to have control of the word using a particular kind of font on her book covers, but she’s taken this to extreme levels, and has sent cease and desist letters to authors who use “cocky” in the titles of their books, telling them to either change the names of their books, take them off Amazon, or face legal action. The authors targeted are mainly self-published writers who can’t afford a legal battle, and changing a book’s title is hellishly hard (imagine the insanity that might come from trying to change the name of the Harry Potter books, for instance). This puts them in a really difficult position.

As you might expect, when word got out about this, things escalated quickly: authors quickly called out Hopkins on this move, calling it extortion and bullying; the hashtags #cockygate and #ByeFaleena (ha! that’s still funny) started trending on Twitter; the Romance Writers Association asked anyone affected by Hopkins to send proof to them and started consulting with an IP lawyer; and Hopkins, who apparently once said that anyone who uses stock photos after she uses them is copying her (that still boggles my mind), posted a video online trying to defend herself and instead dug herself deeper into a hole.

Among other things. Yeah, this is one screwed up situation. And this has not only people angry at Hopkins, but afraid of the future: if you can trademark any word in a title, it’s possible no one will want to publish stories because they’re afraid they could get sued by a trademark owner for using a common word.

However, people have been fighting this, and keeping the story alive. And as time has gone on, there have been further developments in this case. Here are just a few:

  • A novelist and retired lawyer named Kevin Kneupper has come together with a bunch of other authors/lawyers to try to get the Patent & Trademark office to toss out Hopkins’ trademark using a petition for cancellation, which I applaud them for doing and hope they are successful.
  • The creator of the font Hopkins uses for her books came out and stated that anyone who uses his fonts isn’t allowed to apply for trademarks using his font. So, Hopkins is telling people they’re infringing on her trademark while at the same time breaking the rules of usage for the font she uses. Someone needs to read the fine print before telling someone else to do so.
  • Amazon has stated they won’t kick books off its website that have been targeted by Hopkins while they wait to see how this whole thing unfolds.
  • A company called Rebellion Games tried to get a trademark on the word “Rebellion,” (just the word, as far as I can tell), and Mr. Kneupper apparently convinced them to reconsider (and suddenly I want to interview him for my blog and/or name a character in my next novel after him).
  • Hopkins uploaded a video that’s since been taken down (but this is the Internet, so nothing ever goes away), where she said people were calling her and her fans stupid, and then said that meant they were calling her and her fans autistic. Um, say what? As far as I can find, no one brought up autism being mistaken for stupidity before you did. And as someone who’s on the spectrum, would you kindly leave my community out of this? IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING!!!
  • In the same video, Hopkins also said someone had insinuated that she was part of the KKK (proof please?), and said she would never be a Klansman, as she’s descended from a slave. Again, what does that have to do with you trying to trademark a word? And from what I’ve been hearing, some of the authors that have been targeted by the cease and desist letters are writers of color. And you’re not immune from criticism just because one of your ancestors was a slave. Heck, some of your critics may also be descendants of slaves.
  • Hopkins’s books have apparently slid from the bestseller lists. Apparently there are consequences to doing something like this. Who knew?
  • And most recently, Hopkins’ lawyer has sent Kneupper, along with fellow authors/lawyers Jennifer Watson and Tara Crescent, a letter stating that he’s going to be filing a lawsuit against them and seeking a Temporary Restraining Order against their Petition of Cancellation.

Now, this last one happened on Friday apparently, so with a three-day weekend, I have no idea what might develop before Tuesday, if anything. The legal process for this sort of thing can be frustratingly slow. However, this latest development just goes to show just how far Hopkins will go to try to keep her trademark and the power she feels this has given her. She’s determined to make herself seem like an innovative businesswoman who’s being victimized by a mean gang of authors trying to protect her brand.

Well, let her. She may have some supporters (some, but not many), but the longer this drags on and the more she tries to make herself seem like the victim, the more we’ll see her for the bully she is. And with the movement against what she’s doing growing and gaining allies every day, even if God forbid she does succeed in getting her copyright, she’ll just find herself isolated and hated. And in the end, that’s a victory no one wants.

I would like to applaud everyone who’s come forward about Hopkins targeting them. Your bravery is a true testament to your resiliency and spirit. Remember, if you’ve been targeted, email carol.ritter@rwa.org and share your story. Together, we can protect your hard work from what’s happening.

I’d also like to applaud all the other authors and readers out there who have said they won’t stand for this chicanery, and are fighting it every day, on and offline. And I’d like to give an especially big hand to Kevin Kneupper, Jennifer Watson, Tara Crescent, and the other writers/legal experts lending their talents to this case. Words cannot express what you’re doing to defend authors and fiction writing in general. Thank you for all you’ve been doing.

When further updates come along, I’ll likely put out another post. Until then, keep your eyes peeled for more chicanery, and remember, we do have the power to fight back against this. We just have to be brave enough to use it.

20 Questions..

Posted: May 25, 2018 in Living and Life, Reflections
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My friend, journalist and all around cool person Caitlin Kelly published a post earlier today on her own blog, Broadside (definitely check it out, it’s some of the most intelligent and thought provoking blogging on WordPress). In it, she took 20 questions and answered them. Kind of like the game, only not like the game. Anyway, I enjoyed reading her post and thought it’d be fun to try myself, so I decided to write my own post using the same questions and my own answers. Hopefully some of you will feel the same and answer some questions of your own, either in the comments or on your own blogs (either way, I’d love to read your answers).

So without further ado, let’s begin!

What are some of your passions, hobbies and interests?

Well, most of that is out there already. Obviously, I love horror fiction, both reading and writing it. I also love horror art and culture, stuff my blog often touches on. I love Japanese culture, particularly manga and anime. I love learning new things, especially from books or audio books. I love TV and movies, 80’s music and ASMR (Google it, I’m not going into it here). And I love going to the theater when I can, particularly for ballet. And I like collecting dolls and figurines.

What were you known for in school?

Scaring the heck out of people, writing, and being a total and utter goofball. I used to make terrible jokes and puns, sing Lady Gaga in the hallways, sneak up on people to scare them, and write incessantly during my free time. It was a nutty time.

Scariest moment?

It’s not easy to scare me, but I do have one experience. I thought that I’d lost the flash drive containing all my stories on it, and nearly had a panic attack. Thankfully I found it, but that taught me a lesson. I back up my stories once a month now. Really calms my nerves.

Best job?

Well, I’ve only had a few in my young life (I turn 25 very soon, that’s how young), but if I’m going to pick just one, I guess I’ll have to go with the one I have now, working an HR job for a supply organization. Sure,, my high school and college jobs let me do my homework while I worked, being a resident manager put a roof over my head, and interning in Germany was just lovely. But unlike those jobs, I’m now a full employee with good pay and benefits. Sure, sometimes it’s exhausting or frustrating, but I get to help people with disability in the organization, and I’m able to live a comfortable life without having to worry too much about bills or anything like that. You have to love that.

Stuffed animals or dolls or something else?

Dolls and figurines. I’ve got a huge collection of them, in a variety of types, and it just keeps growing (see here and here for the blog posts about them). I also have a small collection of scary masks (a post for another day), and more books than I know what to do with. They’re fun to have.

Do you have any siblings? Are you close to them emotionally?

That was two questions.

But I have four younger sisters, three biological and one step-sister. I love them, but I think we get along better when we’re able to have our own space and not constantly rubbing up against each other.

Do you like the outdoors, or do you only go out when you have to?

Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of the outdoors. I only really have to go out when I have to go somewhere. Beyond that, I definitely prefer the indoors. In fact, if I were a cat, I’d be an indoor cat. Meow!

Are you married or partnered? If not, do you enjoy being single?

That was also two questions.

I am single, and I’m happy being that way. I’m not really that big into romance personally, so I’m happy to be on my own and have my own space. Maybe someday that will change, but right now, I wouldn’t change that for the world.

What’s your nickname?

Rami is my nickname. Didn’t you know?

What would we typically find in your fridge?

Food. What were you expecting? The remains of my victims?

Do you enjoy entertaining friends and family?

At my place? Sure! When it’s prearranged, of course. I don’t like people dropping by unannounced too much.

Are you outgoing and highly social, or do you prefer to be on your own?

Both, actually. I love to go out and be friends, but at the same time, I need my alone time to unwind, or I just go crazy.

Most beautiful place you’ve visited?

Oh, that’s a tough one. Honestly, there are a lot of beautiful places I’ve had the pleasure to go. Paris is lovely, even if it’s a little too opulent. Germany has some very beautiful hills and towns and cities. I really enjoyed visiting Boston, and the Massachusetts coastline in Salem and Fall River are lovely. But if I have to pick, I’m going to go with the Golan Heights in Israel. Beautiful mountains and hills and cities. One day, I’d like to go back and see them again.

Secret hope?

It wouldn’t be secret if I told you. You’ll just have to guess.

Have you achieved the goals you set for yourself when you were younger/went to college?

I’ve achieved some of them, certainly.

What was it/what were they?

I’ve got a stable income, I write nearly every day, and I’ve got a book on the way, with the opportunity to write several more in the future. Hopefully they’ll be well-received and a lot of people will read them. That would make me extremely happy if that happened.

If not, are you OK with that?

N/A

Do you struggle with/manage a chronic medical condition?

Autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, acid reflux, and a few others. I’m a mess! Still, I take care of myself and don’t use any of them as an excuse or a reason not to live my life. I’ve learned to turn my disadvantages into advantages. In the end, that’s all that really counts.

Don’t let your health ruin your life. Take control, and let yourself be the judge of what you can or can’t do. Don’t let your medical conditions do that for you.

Are you religious or do you follow a spiritual path/faith?

I’m Jewish. I’m more spiritual than religious, but I keep kosher and follow major observances (Shabbat Shalom, by the way). It gives me a guiding path, though I don’t base all my beliefs and morals around the Torah.

What makes you laugh loudest and the most often?

Probably something stupid on YouTube or on TV. Either that, or just something that happens in the moment that I find extremely hilarious.

 

What are your answers to these questions?

Well, that’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. I look forward to reading your answers soon (especially if your names happen to be Kat Impossible, Joleene Naylor, or Ruth Ann Nordin). Until next time, pleasant nightmares and have a great Memorial Day weekend.

Being an Example of Dreams “Coming True”

Posted: May 23, 2018 in Living and Life, Reflections, Writing
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I talk a lot about my writing career. Not just on this blog, but everywhere else: when I was at school, at social events, at wherever I happen to be worshiping (usually it’s at a synagogue, but occasionally I’m at other places), when I’m hanging out, and of course, at work. I’ve mentioned to more than a few people at work that not only am I a writer, but I’ve told them that Rose is getting published by a publishing company. The vast majority of people I’ve talked to about it have been very excited to read it, even if horror is not their normal genre (though I think Rose would be more classified as a supernatural thriller at this point). It really boosts my mood when people say that, and makes me want to be an even better writer.

Today, a coworker from another office and I passed in the hallway at work. She asked me about updates on Rose, and I told her that my publisher was hopefully going to get back to me this week about some revision suggestions I’d made. She got that “how cool!” look on her face and told me to keep her informed. She then dropped this on me: she’d been telling her kids about me, as I was proof of success for “following your dreams.”

Well, this really got my thinking. I mean, I’m flattered and all, but do I really deserve to be called an example of following your dreams? To my coworker, I probably am. After all, to non-writers, getting the book accepted by a publisher counts as living the dream. But to me, I haven’t accomplished my dreams yet.

That’s not modesty on my part, I’m just not sure I can say I’ve reached my dreams. At least not at this point. My dream has changed over the years, from being the next JK Rowling to the next Stephen King to just being able to make a living off of writing and maybe writing full-time, which is where my dream is that today. And I’m not there yet by any means. I still work a 40-hours a week job to pay my bills (sometimes longer if I have to stay late to finish up certain projects). And while Castrum Press wanting to publish Rose is a big step in the right direction, the book still has to come out.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m still following those dreams. I’m still working to make it so that I’m in bookstores, to get lots of people to actually want and look forward to reading my books. And I say “books,” because it’s probably going to take several books, if I’m very lucky, to be able to write full-time. It’s rare for authors to be able to write-full time, and even rarer just after the first book. If I somehow manage to make that happen, then hooray. But at the moment, that’s still several years in the future.

I guess I’m still chasing my dreams. Right now, I’m on the right track, and I’m an example of how hard work, lots of revision and rejection, a bit of backbone, and a Plan B if you don’t happen to be one of those overnight success stories (aka employment) can pay off a little. But of successfully chasing your dreams? Well, we’ll see where I end up in the next few years. Fingers crossed it’s a better place than where I am now, even if I’m still not writing full-time.

On an unrelated note, you remember how in my last post, I talked about getting a statue of Cthulhu? Well, my boss took a look at it this morning and okayed me to keep it in the office. To which I say, “Yay! Now I can really start turning my workspace into a den of horrors!” But seriously, it’s nice to really be able to personalize my workspace in such a way. Before now, it really didn’t have that much to say, “Oh, this is totally Rami’s desk. You can just tell by looking at it.” There’s a lot of rules to how one can decorate their workspace at my job, so being able to just have Cthulhu there is a big deal for me. Perhaps in the future, I can also put some other cool stuff around my desk to really help me feel at home while I work.

Until then, I’m cool with just Cthulhu. Besides, he looks so cool there, doesn’t he? I think he does, anyway.

That’s all for now, my Followers of Fear. Thanks for letting me ramble on about this stuff. Until next time, pleasant nightmares!

My Growing Doll and Figurine Collection, Part 2

Posted: May 20, 2018 in Living and Life
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Back in December, I posted about how I was collecting dolls, figurines, and statuettes. Since then, I’ve collected quite a few more for my collection, so I thought I’d write another post about the collection and show off my new acquisitions (as well as have another go at giving my parents more grey hairs and making them wonder where they got such an unusual son. What can I say? I am a nasty little devil).

First, let’s talk about those Nightmare Before Christmas pixies. Remember when I said there were about four of them? Well, turns out there’s a lot more than four:

So apparently the line comes with its own little Halloweentown display. I got that not too long after the last doll/figurine-related post.

After that, they sent me Oogie Boogie’s character.

And then Zero the ghost dog.

And I thought that was it, but then they sent me Lock, the kid in the devil costume.

And then they sent me Shock, the witch girl.

And that’s where we are so far. I’m assuming Barrel, who I think is some sort of skeleton kid, is on the way at some point. I’m not really sure how many characters are in this collection, but I’m happy to keep paying for them and seat them in a circle in my apartment.

Also, I recently bought another, very special figurine from The Hamilton Collection, the company that makes those little statues. This is the Guardian of the Underworld.

Yeah, pretty scary. And I’m pretty sure that’s an old Rolls Royce hearse she’s sitting on. I wanted to bring that into work, but my supervisor put the kibosh on that one. Too bad, it would’ve been such a great talking point for anyone who came to visit my office. Then again, given what we do in my office, it might put people off and give them the wrong idea.

Of course, not all my new additions have been from The Hamilton Collection or look like pixies from Hell. Remember in my last post I mentioned that my very first figurine was one I made of the character of Zero from the anime Code Geass? Well, I finally got a real Code Geass Zero figurine!

This was one of my most anticipated acquisitions when I bought it. And it’s so cool! You can change heads and arms depending on whom you want to wear the costume (spoiler alert: different characters in the anime wear that costume at different points), and take on and off the sword around his waist. But I’m telling you, lining the real figurine next to the one I made all those years ago was a big moment for me. It felt like I was showing myself how far I’ve come in life that I can actually collect these things for myself, and I don’t just have to make them.

I’ve also made a few acquisitions that coincide with another love of mine, ballet. The first acquisition of this type is a figure of Asuka Langley Soryu from the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion (I already have two figurines of her, as she’s my favorite character, but this one is probably my favorite), dressed up as a ballerina. I absolutely adore this figurine. It looks like she’s about to break out into dance, which would be very cool if it could happen.

I also got two figurines based on Odette and Odile from Swan Lake. I was really psyched to get these, especially since I saw that ballet last November.

These figurines comes with their own individual stands, as well as a shared one for a pas de deux (not something that ever happened in the actual ballet, but whatever). They look so graceful and their eyes are so expressive, I just love it. They’re so wonderful, they gave me an idea for a novella a while back that I’d like to write at some point. They also came with a lithograph of an illustration that I believe inspired these figurines (I think that’s what the figurines are based on), which I hung up not too long ago after finding a picture frame that was the right size, right by where I keep the actual figurines.

My third ballet-related acquisition is a proper doll, a Liccca-chan doll. Licca-chan is like the Japanese equivalent of Barbie, and this one was so up my alley, that I couldn’t help but order it. The arms aren’t as movable as I thought they’d be (so no fifth position posing), but I still like it and I’m glad I bought it.

Of course, not all of my collection is so pretty. You guys know I’m a Lovecraft fan, right? Well, I recently acquired a Cthulhu statue from Chile. I’ve been wanting a statue of Cthulhu for quite some time now, so to finally get one was pretty awesome. I’m actually not really sure what this statue’s made of, to be honest: I bought it off Etsy, and it’s supposed to be made of some sort of clay, but at times it feels like wood, and other times like stone. Which, considering this is a statue of a powerful god in the Cthulhu Mythos, does not surprise me in the slightest. My supervisor may let me keep this one in the office, which I would find cool, but others might freak over. Of course, that’s the intended effect, so let’s hope he says yes.

Also, the store I bought it from included a free Cthulhu keychain because he’d been on a hike when I made the order and didn’t get it until when he came back a week later. I told him that wasn’t necessary, but he included it anyway. Such a nice guy, and I love the craftsmanship. Also, I’m not sure what this is made of either. Fuh-reaky!

And finally, we get to my last and possibly my favorite acquisition, as well as the one most likely to be haunted. This is a Pullip doll, which is a brand of South Korean fashion dolls known their big heads and equally big eyes.  This particular one is from the Alice du Jardin series, so I call her Alice, and she is the “Mint” version. Sometimes I feel like she’s really watching me while I’m writing or watching movies on the couch, and that she’s trying to influence me. If she is, I think she’s trying to influence me in positive ways though. Easing my stress and that sort of thing.

So that’s the latest on my collection. What did you think? (Yes, I’m aware that some people find my collection very weird, but since when have I ever been interested in being “normal?”). I’m personally very proud of it, and hope to add to it over time. I’d especially enjoy getting the entire main cast of Sailor Moon in figurine form, though that’ll have to wait until I get some new cabinets (someone’s letting me have his when he moves out of town). In the meantime, I love what I got, and I don’t ever want to part with them.

Do you collect dolls and figurines? What are your thoughts/suggestions on collecting them?

A Confession, and a Weird Pep Talk

Posted: May 12, 2018 in Living and Life, Reflections, Writing
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Writers write. If it’s possible to boil our craft down to one simple truth, no matter what our backgrounds or specializations are, it’s this: writers write. And often, we really love doing it.

Occasionally though, there are times where we writers hate writing, or find ourselves becoming disillusioned with it. This can happen for a number of reasons, but in my general experience, writers tend to go through these phases where they just don’t want to write when the business side of writing, or things in our personal lives, starts having a negative effect on the act of writing itself. Recently, a friend of mine talked about how, for a while, writing was starting to lose its appeal to her, to the point where she wasn’t enjoying storytelling and was thinking about quitting. She later realized that was because, in order to keep her sales up, she was writing stories that she wrote to sell well.

Of course, all writers who sell their work write stories they think will sell well, but it’s not usually the main goal. Usually, we write stories we ourselves want to read or stories we feel we need to tell and would have fun doing it. My friend was writing stories that were designed to sell, but were not necessarily stories she enjoyed writing. Her field was becoming so crowded, she felt she needed to write this way in order to compete. But all it really did for her was make writing less of a fun activity but a chore.

It was only when she realized that she needed to get back to writing stories she felt passionate about and decided to stop doing stories calculated to do well in a crowded field that she started to enjoy writing again.

Similarly, I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts with writing for a while now. I still enjoy the act, and I’m not sure there’s anything that would make me hate writing, but then some things came up:

Back in March, when I found out Rose was going to be published by an actual publishing company, I was ecstatic. I was on a high that lasted for a whole week and a half, like pure joy had somehow been pumped into my bloodstream. But soon after that, the company sent me back my manuscript with notes, and the feedback they gave me…well, they noted many issues with Rose. Issues that really brought down my high. I’ve been working on this novel for about four years now, and just seeing so many problems pointed out wasn’t pleasant.

The fact that the novel needed so many rewrites didn’t help either.

Not only that, but there was some stuff in my personal life that I was dealing with, personal stuff that I’m still dealing with. I won’t go into details (not because I’m not comfortable talking about it, it just doesn’t feel like the right time to do so), but the first couple of months of 2018, while still full of good things for me, had some unexpected obstacles and issues that weren’t widely reported outside of a close circle of a select number of individuals.

It’s crazy how this anime could get me out of my funk so easily. God, I love you, Sailor Moon.

Those obstacles and issues, as well as seeing all that needed fixing with Rose, just sort of brought down my enjoyment of writing in general. And I wondered how I would get it back.

This evening though, I had the weirdest pep talk from the most unexpected source: Sailor Moon (bare with me here). As you guys know, I LOVE Sailor Moon. It’s one of my favorite anime ever, and I’ve loved it since I was a kid. Recently, the first half of Season 4 was released on DVD with a new, more faithful dub (meaning original Japanese names and no editing to make the story more appropriate for children), and this week my copy from the library came in, so obviously I’m bingeing it this weekend.

Here’s where the pep talk comes in: one of the episodes from that season involves a friend of Sailor Jupiter who happens to be a novelist. The novelist has recently suffered some personal setbacks, and they’ve made it difficult for her to write. But by the end of the episode, through the intervention of Sailor Jupiter (and a vision of a winged unicorn, but that’s beside the point), she regains the will and inspiration to write.

All throughout that episode, I felt like it was talking to me. I saw myself in the writer, and every time a character offered her encouragement, I felt like I was the one getting the encouragement. By the end of the episode, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. Yes, I still have personal things to deal with, and Rose still needs a lot of work, and they’ll continue to plague me for the foreseeable future. But I’ve got it in me to keep writing and editing and get this story to the point where my publisher will put it out there. And after that, I have over a thousand stories I could pick from to tell, with a few more coming to me each month. The possibilities are endless!

And all because I decided to binge-watch Sailor Moon this weekend (one of these days, I’ll have to blog about how much this show and its characters mean to me).

So what’s next? Well, I’m going to go back and rewatch that episode, and I’ll see if I can keep myself from crying while I watch it. And after that? I think I’ll email my publisher, and we’ll talk about my proposed edits for Rose. And then I’ll get back to writing. Because after all, I am a writer. And what do writers do? Why, write. That’s what we do.

And that’s what I’m going to do, now with a renewed sense of purpose. And I can’t wait to get started.

Nothing to Report, Except…

Posted: May 11, 2018 in Living and Life
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I try to be a regular blogger, one or two posts a week. But since Saturday, I haven’t really had anything to talk about. Which is crazy, because I usually always have something to talk about. And sometimes, people like to read what I have to say.

But there’s just nothing these past couple of days I’ve wanted to get out there. There’s been no development with Rose or any of my other stories worth mentioning. I haven’t seen or read anything to review lately. I haven’t come up with anything involving the art of writing or the art of horror. There’s nothing big in my life that I feel like making announcements about. And there’s no issue or current event I feel angry enough to speak about (and before you mention “Cockygate,” I’m getting to that).

There were things I thought I might blog about. I finished rereading The Shining, the first time I’ve read it since my teens, but I didn’t feel like I had enough material to make a full post like I did with To Kill a Mockingbird. The same with a post about feedback from readers and magazines; I started it, but in the end, the words just wouldn’t come to me. Cockygate is still ongoing, but there hasn’t been enough new developments that I want to write a post. I have a post for Self-Published Authors Helping Other Authors, but I’m saving that until after I’ve spoken with my publisher about some proposed edits for Rose. And I’m waiting on a few other things to happen before I do some other posts I’ve been thinking of writing.

I could do an entire post about how one of my favorite shows Lucifer was canceled (yes, that happened, and I’m very upset about it!). But that feels too clickbait-y for me, especially after devoting an entire post to Cockygate. That being said, it would do me and an entire fandom a huge favor if you could help us keep the hashtag #SaveLucifer trending on social media. As of the time I’m writing this post, it’s a trending topic on Twitter, with over three-hundred twenty-seven thousand tweets. Believe me, we don’t want this show to go anywhere, so please help us out.

But other than that, I really have nothing special to say at the moment. I’m as quiet as a mouse.

Except…

Except that I can assure you I am still working on stories. Rose is coming along slowly but surely, and I have other stories in the wings. I certainly haven’t run out of ideas for stories or blog posts. And I am as devoted and energetic towards these projects as I’ve always been.

So even if I drop off the blogosphere from time to time, know this: I will come back, and it’ll be with plenty of good news to share. So stay tuned.

Until next time, my Followers of Fear, have a good weekend and pleasant nightmares.

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