Posts Tagged ‘progress report’

I’ve been wanting to do a post like this for a while now, but I only got around to it now after a friend of mine did it on her blog and I thought to myself, “Yeah, might as well get my butt in gear and do this already.”

So anyway, if you’re unfamiliar with the Bechdel test, it’s used to measure how feminist a work of fiction, usually a film or a novel, is. It was first created by cartoonist Allison Bechdel for her comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For, and has since become used in academic circles and with critics.

Here are the criteria for passing the Bechdel test:

  1. You have two female characters (sometimes having them named is a requirement, and I’ll do that here).
  2. They actually have to talk to each other.
  3. They have to talk about something other than a guy.

On that last part, I usually take it to mean talking about a guy who is in some sense romantically linked to one or both characters. After all, a lot of stories focus solely on a woman’s quest for love or marriage, and that’s it, and I feel like that’s what this test was designed for. And what if the two women are detectives and they’re talking about a suspect who’s male and how he’s difficult to bring to justice? That should be worthy of passing the Bechdel test.

Now before I begin, I want to make one thing clear: I don’t see this test as the end-all test for how feminist a work is. While some do use the Bechdel test in that capacity, I see it more as a tool to examine various works of fiction and promote discussion, rather than as the only way to get a work to be called feminist. Heck, even film organizations who use the test when rating a movie do it mostly for collecting information on gender inequality in films and to make viewers aware of that same gender inequality more than anything else.

So without further ado, here’s how my novels (I’d do the short stories as well, but there’s a lot of those, so I’ll pass) do with the Bechdel test:

  • Reborn City/Video Rage. I place these two together because they’re part of the same series. And they do pass the Bechdel test with flying colors. There are several named female characters in RC, particularly protagonists Zahara Bakur, Ilse, and Iori. And they do talk to each other about a lot of other stuff besides men, including the gang situation in West Reborn and how being a gangster is not for the faint of heart (a problem for Zahara considering she prefers peace and harmony to violence and gun fights). Similarly in VR, there are at least four or five named female characters, including the ones I mentioned above, and they also talk a lot about things other than men, including the situation they’re stuck in or the history of the war that made the world how it is in their present (our future).
  • Snake. Um…yes, but just barely. There are three or four named characters, including the female protagonist Allison Langland. However, as so much of the book focuses on the Snake’s quest to save Allison and then to keep her safe, she doesn’t have a lot of onscreen time with other female characters. There is a scene where Allison speaks with another character about events to come, but the Snake is also part of this conversation, so I guess it depends on your point-of-view on the subject. If there’s ever a sequel to this book, I may try to do better on that front while writing the story.
  • Laura Horn. Despite still working through the second draft, I can tell you LH passes the Bechdel test. There are several named female characters, including our protagonist, and that they do talk to one another about things other than men. Especially the fact that Laura’s wanted for a crime she never committed. Yeah, heavy stuff. Guys and romance actually don’t come up that much. Yeah, romantic feelings are part of the story, but by no means are they the focus, and I expect that will be the case still when I reach the final draft (whenever that is).
  • Rose. Again, this one just barely passes, and whether it does is a matter of perspective. As I’ve mentioned, Rose is about a woman held captive in the home of a man claiming to be her lover. Rose spends a lot of time on her own or with the guy whose house she’s in. She does have conversations with another female, but this female isn’t exactly human, and a few other things about this being call into question whether or not it counts. There’s also a conversation Rose has with another girl in a flashback, but I don’t know if flashbacks count either. So again, this one’s up for debate, one that might not be settled until after the book is published (whenever that is).

So the final verdict is that one half of my novels pass the Bechdel test, and the other half are a matter of opinion. Again, this test isn’t definitive by any means, and as demonstrated in the cases of Snake and Rose,  there are shortcomings to the test. However, it does feel good to know that half my work does pass the test, and the other half might. Surprisingly about half of all films don’t pass the Bechdel test, while quite a number of movies pass what is known as the reverse Bechdel test, which focuses on men (not going to bother with that, except to say that Rose is probably the only one that doesn’t pass). I like to think it says something good about my personality or writing style.

Perhaps in a few years I’ll try applying the Bechdel test to my works again and see what happens. In the meantime, I think I’ll focus on creating good stories in general. And possibly applying other tests to the stories I write (though I’m kind of afraid of what the results might be and what they say about me as a writer). We’ll see how I feel about it.

What are your thoughts on the Bechdel test? Do your works pass it? Why or why not?

RC cover

It’s been a long time in the making, and a lot of work since I announced that I was planning on turning Reborn City, my science-fiction novel, into an audio book back in August. I listened to a lot of audio samples, contacted a bunch of potential narrators, and even received a couple of auditions. But as of today, I am very pleased to announce that Reborn City has a narrator!

If you’re unfamiliar with Reborn City, it’s a dystopian science fiction novel that follows Zahara Bakur, a Muslim teenager who’s forced to join a street gang called the Hydras, and her involvement in a strange plot involving the gang’s superpowered leaders and the shadowy corporation that rules the city they live in. The novel contains themes of Islamaphobia, racism, gang violence, drug addiction and several others.

It also is a world that has much more resemblance to our own than Hunger Games or Divergent does (just look at the refugee situation these days and how some governments have responded to refugees these days) and I like to think it makes a little more sense than those books.

The audio book will be narrated by Barron Bass, an actor and voice artist based out of New York (check out his website here). I heard some of his samples on ACX, the website I’m using to produce the audio book (see my article on that site here). I liked what I heard, and I started corresponding with him. Once I heard his audition, I had a pretty good feeling I’d found my man. After some more weeks of correspondence, I sent him an offer and he accepted.

Our esteemed narrator, Barron Bass.

Now, I’m hoping we’ll have the whole thing done by early March, but I’m flexible. If Mr. Bass needs more time, I’m willing to give it to him. You can’t rush perfection, after all.

So I’m looking forward to seeing what comes next, which following the production process on ACX is that the first fifteen minutes of the book are recorded for my approval. After that, I give some feedback, and we work chapter by chapter on the book. Once it’s all done and it’s uploaded onto Amazon, Audible, and iTunes, I’m hoping a lot of people decide to check it out and take a listen. Maybe leave a few reviews while they’re at it.

And if RC does well, then maybe I’ll do Snake as well, and any other book I decide to publish from here on out. We’ll see what happens.

In the meantime, I’m going to go do my happy dance. Have a good rest of your day, my Followers of Fear. I know I am.

About a week or two ago my friend Angela Misri posted on my Facebook timeline about a short story contest that Stephen King would be part of. Apparently people could submit short stories under four-thousand words and His Royal Scariness would pick the winner. Unfortunately the contest was only open to UK residents, which upset Angela and me a great deal (I knew I should’ve been born a British lord, but for some reason I decided that being the son of two rabbis was a better deal). However, if I could enter the contest, and it allowed short stories under six-thousand words, this probably would’ve been the short story I submitted.

After extensive editing, of course.

“The Playroom” is a very weird short story about a woman who steals from a mob boss whose casino she works in, and the terrifying results of that little action. I’d go into further detail on what those results are, but then I’d be giving away too much of the story. I will say how it came to be though: I woke up one night, a few days before I decided to take a break from Laura Horn, I think, and this little mini-movie started playing in my head. I don’t know what caused it–I’m pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with anything I might have been dreaming prior to waking up–but there it was, fully formed in my head, and oh-so strange. I immediately wrote it down and decided to write it as soon as possible.

Which, as I said a moment ago, was when I decided to take a break from Laura Horn. How convenient that all turned out to be.

Anyway,this is definitely one of the weirder short stories I’ve written. And when I say something is weird by my standards, that’s saying something. And you definitely get that weird sense just by reading it, I think. As you go on and you feel yourself falling deeper into a rabbit hole, you definitely wonder where this is going to go. And when you actually find out where it goes…well, I wouldn’t want to give too much away. The first title of this short story gave away so much that I dare not speak it here. The second title was so cliched I couldn’t help but change it (“The Secret Room”–what horror writer doesn’t have a story titled that?). So now I’ve got “The Playroom”. Intriguing, doesn’t give away much, and somehow conveys this isn’t your average horror story.

At least, that’s what I hope is what it says. I’m biased, so what do I know?

Anyway, I think with a bit of editing, this story could actually go from just under fifty-six hundred words to under five-thousand or maybe even under four-thousand without sacrificing quality. As you know, I’ve had trouble keeping my short stories brief without sacrificing quality in the past, so I’d be very excited if I could get this one that short without any problems. There are probably a few sections that could be cut from this story. Or I might keep it as long as it is. With a bit of work, there may be a magazine or two who would like to publish this even if it is longer than what some magazines like to publish.

Before I do that though, I have a novel to finish editing. I think I’ll get right on that in the morning.

So good night, my Followers of Fear, and pleasant nightmares. I know I plan to have a few.

So for the past couple of weeks I’ve been making steady progress on my thriller Laura Horn (which I’ve been informed, based on the ages of the main characters, technically is considered YA. And so is Reborn City apparently, to which I say “Hooray! New readership!”). And like I said the last time I posted about this novel, it’s not as bad as I remember it. Yes, parts of it need work–the chapter I edited most recently will definitely need to be revisited a few more times before publication–but yeah, it’s going well.

I also haven’t had to make any drastic changes so far. I did combine three short chapters into one slightly longer prologue though. And I changed one or two characters’ last names. And I changed things around so that the first section of the novel is a bit longer than what it was in the first draft. And I’m considering moving one or two flashback chapters to later in the book. But beyond that, no giant changes to the story I’m telling. So far, editing’s been pretty smooth.

And I’m glad of that. With every story you pour your sweat and soul into, you feel like you’re bringing a child into a world. Yeah, I know it’s a pretty cliched analogy, but it works. And any parent wants their child to succeed. I worried I had to totally switch up this story in the second draft, which would’ve been like exchanging some of my kid’s body parts for others al a Frankenstein’s monster.  Knowing that the changes I have to make are more superficial, plastic even, makes me feel much better.

And I’m stopping these metaphors before they go any further and get any creepier.

Anyway, at the rate I’m going, I think I might be done with the second draft by some point in January. That would be nice. I’d be able to get to Rose soon after, and then I would have the summer to work on short stories, prepping for NaNoWriMo, maybe putting out a book or two. We’ll see what happens. In any case, my fingers are crossed for good things.

And in the meantime, I’m going to take a break to work on a short story that’s been calling to me.since I came up with it the other night. I think I could actually get this one down to under five-thousand words. Maybe even under four-thousand. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Today’s a very special day. Two years ago, I stayed up late on Halloween night to make sure that Reborn City, my first published novel, was released in all its formats and then wrote the blog post announcing the good news for the very next day.

That’s right, two years ago today was the day Reborn City was published. A lot has happened since then, most of it having melted from my memories. But one thing has stood out to me: over these past two years, RC has definitely become my most popular published work yet (I know that’s not saying much with only three books out at the moment, but you get the idea).

If you’re not very familiar with RC yet, it follows Zahara Bakur, a young Muslim teenager living in a dystopian future who is forced to join the Hydras (not the Marvel supervillain organization), a street gang whose leaders have mysterious powers. Zahara learns to deal with her new lifestyle and friends, while at the same time she becomes unknowingly ensnared in a plot by a shadowy government interested in the Hydra leaders’ powers. The novel comprises of themes tackling Islamaphobia, racism, gang violence, drug addiction, and much more.

Over the past two years, I’ve had plenty of people read RC and a few of them have been willing to give feedback (and I think only a quarter of the people who do the latter are my family, which is good). Here’s what some of the people who have read RC have said:

This is an extremely commendable effort by a new young writer, whom I believe we will see much more of in the years ahead. Rami Ungar’s vision of a frightening dystopian future is peppered with those elements that make us all human. There are quite a few surprises in the book, and I am anxious for the next volume in the series to be released.

–Marc M. Neiwirth

As a reader who does not read books in this genre, I must admit that I could not put down the book. I attribute this to the talent of the author. I am looking forward to reading the next books published by Ungar. I recommend this book to readers who enjoy action with features of supernatural powers and sci-fi.

–ENJ

This is not a genre I typically delve into, but I took this book on vacation and couldn’t put it down. The plot had me turning pages at quite the clip. The characters were unique and interesting and the imagery had me creating my own visual of what Rami’s interpretation of the future looked like. For first time novelist, Rami Ungar, this was an outstanding showing of talent and commitment to his passion of writing. Looking forward to seeing what he comes up with next!

–Michele Kurland

If you can’t tell, I’m quite proud of some of the reviews I’ve received on this book. Considering that I started work on this book in high school and worked on it through the first two years of college, I guess I have good reason to be. It was not easy to get this book out, and I worried a lot about how it would do. I also worried that people would say I’m another white guy trying to make money off a subject that others have experienced and written about (the Kathryn Stockett criticism), but so far no one has made any fuss about RC in that way.

And what’s in store for RC in the next year? Well, I’m sure more people will read it. I know of at least one friend who bought a copy and will probably read it within the coming year, and I’m sure there are plenty more people who will find the book and discover something enjoyable in it. I might also get a few more reviews, who knows? I also think an RC audio book is likely to happen. I’ve been working hard to make that happen and I might even have a narrator soon, depending on a few factors. If and when that happens, I’ll make sure to let you all know (and to force my whole family to download copies if they want to stay on my good side. Mwa ha ha!).

And finally, I hope to get the sequel Video Rage fully edited and released by summer next year. I’m working with a professional editor this time, so I’ll let her take a look at the novel before I release it so that the story can be the best story possible. I owe it to the readers who loved RC to do that, at least.

Anyway, if you wish to check out Reborn City for yourself, you can find it both on Amazon and Smashwords. And if you do decide to read it, please write a review of it. Whether or not you love it, I appreciate the feedback, and reviews help indie authors like myself find new readers every time we get them, so you’d be doing me another solid essentially.

That’s all for now. I’ve got a lot of editing to do today, so I’m going to try to get through that. Wish me luck, my Followers of Fear, and happy anniversary!

Oh, and I may have forgotten the two-year anniversary of The Quiet Game, which came out in July of the same year. My bad. If you’d like to check that out, it’s also on Amazon and Smashwords. It’s a spooky good time, if I do say so myself. Enjoy.

As many of you know, I have a novel I wrote in college called Laura Horn, and that it’s about time I edited it. At the same time, I wasn’t sure if I should simply go over the first draft and edit where necessary, or do a complete do-over and rewrite the novel from scratch.

If you don’t know what Laura Horn is about, it follows a teenage girl with a dark past who comes across secrets that threaten the nation. Think White House Down or Olympus Has Fallen, only instead of Channing Tatum or Gerard Butler coming to save the day, it’s all on a very troubled teenage girl and her friends. Yeah, I wrote a novel like that. And it’s not comedy, YA, romance or anything like that. It’s a straight up action thriller, complete with one or two psychopaths and a bunch of corrupt agents and elected officials.

Also, I’ve limited the amount of gun violence and explosions in the book, because God forbid this thing should resemble a Michael Bay or Quentin Tarantino movie.

Back to the main point, though. In between drafts of the story, I began to worry that LH might need a rewrite. I liked the characters, I liked the story, I just worried that the way the story was being told was a little too unbelievable and that there might be a better way to tell it. At the same time though, I wondered if maybe the story I had already told was still good enough, it just needed a touch up here and there.

So after editing Video Rage, and writing and editing several short stories and novelettes, I decided to take a look at the first couple chapters of LH, do some edits, and then make a decision on whether I just need to do some simple editing, or maybe make a rewrite of LH my NaNoWriMo project.

Well, as of today I’ve gone through six chapters, combined three into one big chapter, and come to a decision. The first draft is somewhat sloppy, and there is a lot to work on, but that’s pretty typical of a first draft. It’s in the subsequent drafts you actually make something worth publishing. It’s certainly not bad enough at this point that I feel a total rewrite is necessary.*

It might take a lot of drafts to get it right, though. But hey, part of the joys of writing is a lot of hard work and touching up, right?

Anyway, I’ve made a start of the second draft, and I’m hopeful it won’t take too long to finish it. Maybe a couple months at most, if life doesn’t get too crazy and I don’t get too distracted. We’ll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I think I’ll take a break from editing. After all, all work and no play makes Rami a bad editor, or something like that.

Goodnight, my Followers of Fear!

*This also means I won’t be participating in NaNoWriMo this year, but I can think of worse things to happen in my life. Maybe next year I’ll participate though. In the meantime, check out my article on how to survive NaNoWriMo if you’re participating this year.

when the lights go out cover

As you know, I got to contribute to an anthology that was published recently, When the Lights Go Out. The Amazon and Smashwords links were available immediately, but Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and iTunes apparently took their time with it. Or something. I don’t know, it wasn’t my department.

Anyway, WTLGO is now available on five different websites, and I’ve got the links. So if you wish to check it out, you now have a bunch of different options to do it. It’s got 25 different stories by a variety of different authors, including my very own “Tigress Lizzy”, which is about a teenage girl who gains a very dark power and uses it to get revenge on the bullies in her life (no, not telekinesis, that would be a rip-off of Carrie, and this is paying tribute to Carrie). I also was lucky enough to write the introduction, which I’m told is pretty good.

And it’s also October, so some new, creepy tales are just what is needed to get in the mood for the season. Besides pumpkin lattes, I mean.

So go check WTLGO out, whether it be through Amazon, Smashwords, B&N, Kobo, and iTunes. And get ready for a spooktacular good time.

As you are probably already aware, I’ve been spending the past three months here in Wiesbaden, Germany, working as an intern at the US Army base here in the Army Civilian Corps, specifically in the Equal Employment Opportunity office (we handle stuff like equal rights for everyone and discrimination complaints and that sort of thing). It’s been a crazy, fun, exhausting, edifying adventure. I’ve been able to live in a really amazing European country–one taking proactive measures to help refugees in the current crisis, by the way (take that, Hungary! Nobody likes you right now!)–get some very valuable job experience, see some things I’ve only read about (SS castle of mysticism and the birthplace of Nazism, anyone?), and even learn a few words of a foreign language.

Plus seventy-something ideas for stories and articles and everything else creative too, by the way. That is something I’m very happy about!

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, as they must. And today was my last day working as an intern. Yep, today was the last day. Sad but true. Did some work in the morning, went with the folks from my office to a beergarten for a goodbye lunch to commemorate all the hard work I’d done, did some more work when we got back, met with a few people to discuss this and that, and then headed home. All told, it felt pretty quiet. I almost expected a somber air or something, just a heaviness in the atmosphere to signal that today was my final day working in that office. No, just a normal day, minus the fact that I’m not getting ready for bed at this point because I have an early morning tomorrow (yeah, I’m sleeping in!).

I’d like to thank everyone who helped make this possible. The folks from my office, for guiding me every step of the way, working so well with my quirky nature, and giving me lessons I’ll carry with me for years to come. My family and friends, for supporting me and being just a Skype call away when I needed them. The many people who helped me get into this internship in the first place, including Ohio State’s Office of Disability Services and the Workforce Recruitment Program, and especially the US Army for willingly taking in a budding horror novelist who proved with his mother that he has demonic abilities. And of course, I have to thank you, my Followers of Fear. No matter what mood I was in, you were there to support me and share in my triumphs and my failures.I can’t thank you enough for that.

Now, this is the part where I tell you my plans. Unfortunately, I can’t. You see, some opportunities have arisen for me here in Germany. I can’t say what they are at this point, though I can assure you that I’m not on tour with Taylor Swift as her live-in boy-toy or breaking into a haunted pizzeria with killer animatronics (if you got that reference, then you’re hip. If you didn’t, click here and get hip). What I can tell you is that these opportunities mean I have to stay in Germany a bit longer. So yeah, I won’t be flying back home at the end of the week. As things progress and we see what happens, I’ll let you know what’s going to happen.

For now though, know that I have some time to myself to clean the apartment, write and edit, and catch up on TV in between working on making the most of these opportunities.

That’s all at the moment. I’ve got stuff to do, so I’m going to do it. You have a good night, my Followers of Fear, and thanks again for giving me so much support and love. I couldn’t ask for a cooler audience.

You’re probably wondering what the title of this post means. Well, it’s the title of my latest short story, so you can stop wondering “Did this guy start doing some sort of study or documentary or something and not share it with us? That’s very unlike him.”

Anyway, “A Project in Western Ideals” is a short story I just finished at 9,123 words and follows a girl who is being slowly turned into a human Barbie doll by a woman who is more than she seems. The story’s title comes from a phrase that appears a lot in the story, and I felt that it fit the story so well, that I should use it for the title, especially since I didn’t like any of the titles I’d used before, like “Perfection” or “My Perfect Body”.

The story was inspired by a woman in Russia named Angelica Kenova, who is a human Barbie. I first heard about her prior to leaving the States for Germany, when I read an article about her. According to the article, her parents control almost every aspect of her life: they buy her clothes (most of which are kind of sexy and form-fitting); they control her diet and how much she exercises; they even accompany her on dates! And while the article didn’t give any hints about how Ms. Kenova felt personally about this lifestyle (for all I know she likes being her parents’ toy), I did get the impression her parents were the driving force behind how she became this:

 

Yeah, that’s an actual person, not a doll. I even have trouble telling the difference sometimes. And hearing about her story, I started wondering what sort of parents would help and encourage or possibly even force their daughter to go down this route despite the numerous health issues that doing so can cause. This led to “A Project in Western Ideals”, which explores a young woman going through this sort of transformation, and not through her own choice.

As far as my fiction goes, it’s not as dark anything I normally write (I let my protagonist share her deepest thoughts with the audience and she is pretty funny without intending to be), but it does deal with the health problems of trying to look like Barbie and how it’s ultimately creating a fake version of yourself (read this article to get an idea of how bad it is for you if you’re curious). I also think the main character is a lot of fun and I enjoyed writing her.

However, I do think that the climax and ending could use some work. As they stand now, they feel clunky to me and don’t match up to the beginning of the story. The beginning could have some stuff cut out from it too, and I’d like to explore the antagonist a bit more as well, get a bit more of the crazy that makes her do this to my protagonist.

Well, we’ll see what happens when I get to the second draft. And by the time I do, I’ll probably have had some ideas on how to better this story. And I definitely want to make this one better, because with a bit of work, I think it could be one of the highlights of Teenage Wasteland (speaking of which, I’ve got seven stories so far set for that collection at various stages of readiness for publication, including this one. With time, I think I could get a few more in and truly make it an extraordinary read).

In the meantime though, I said this was going to be the last short story I’d write before starting work on Laura Horn again. However since I’m about ten days from leaving Germany and heading back to Columbus, I think I’ll hold off on starting any big projects until I’m back in the States, writing or editing. Instead, I’ll edit a few short stories (none that need to be rewritten, that’s basically starting from the beginning again) and get to work on LH once I’m home and settled back in.

Well, Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement is in a few hours. I’m going to have the biggest meal I can in anticipation of the fast nd see you again before What’s Write For Me tomorrow afternoon (or tomorrow night if you’re me). You all have a wonderful day, my Followers of Fear. I know I am.

when the lights go out cover

Some of you may remember a previous post where I announced that a short story of mine, “Tigress Lizzy” was going to be published in an upcoming anthology by the same folks who did Strange Portals. I’m very pleased to announce that the anthology now has a name and a cover, and I have more news besides that!

Alright, as the title of this post indicates, this anthology is called When The Lights Go Out, a title I suggested to anthology editor/vampire novelist extraordinaire/indie colleague Joleene Naylor, so I’m very honored that she chose it for the title of this anthology. She also did the cover for this anthology, by the way. And holy shit, is that creepy to behold! It’s like she crossed Ring with Grudge and The Exorcist! I’m getting goosebumps just looking at it!

Or is that the ghost I suspect is haunting my apartment? I’m never quite sure.

Oh, and I have some more news relating to WTLGO (yes, I am starting that abbreviation. You shall use it to save time when referring to this anthology because it is just that much easier). In addition to being the author of one of the twenty-five short stories featured in the anthology, I was also asked to write the introduction. Yes, that’s right. I got to write the introduction! I’m really happy about that, and Joleene tells me she really liked it, which I call very high praise indeed!

Finally, WTLGO will be coming out sometime early next month from e-book retailers everywhere. As soon as it comes out, I’ll be posting links so you can check it out! The anthology will be free of charge, so if you’re of little pocket money but still have a device to read this on, you won’t have to miss out.

Though if I were you, I wouldn’t read this one right before bed. You might never sleep again…

I’ll post more when I have more. I’m riding a huge high right now, so I’m going to ride that high right to bed (it’s nearly ten at night here in Germany and I have early mornings!). I’ll celebrate with you guys in the morning. You have a great one, my Followers of Fear!